Surprise pregnancy support thread...

[Kahlan83]

Hello , I'm ten weeks to a supprise , my little ladys 18 months I split with her dad in November and had a very short not very nice rebound relationship with an ex who is on drugs and after splitting up because I put me and my daughter first he decided to rape me , me being stupid I never got morning after pill , but after him recently kicking of a neighbour rang police and I'm now trying to get him rightly or wrongly out mine and kids life until he's off drugs but im happy with my supprise xx

Good for you Laura! I pray that whatever the outcome it works in the best possible way for you and your family! Your better off without a man that would treat you so inhumanely.

 

[LauraAvasMum]

Hello , I'm ten weeks to a supprise , my little ladys 18 months I split with her dad in November and had a very short not very nice rebound relationship with an ex who is on drugs and after splitting up because I put me and my daughter first he decided to rape me , me being stupid I never got morning after pill , but after him recently kicking of a neighbour rang police and I'm now trying to get him rightly or wrongly out mine and kids life until he's off drugs but im happy with my supprise xx

Good for you Laura! I pray that whatever the outcome it works in the best possible way for you and your family! Your better off without a man that would treat you so inhumanely.

Thank you so much for not judging me , I hate playing god saying he has to be out the childs life but I see it as its for the babies safty , I'm strong he can bring me down xx

 

[kassiaethne]

well after ttc since my last miscarriage till now, I took a month away from him helping my family in the USA. I JUST got back the 19th....and of course we did some I missed you humpity bumpity...and now I'm 4 days late on my period....I didn't know how it was possible with all these months we have been trying non stop....and the one time I'm gone for half the month....and bam I get pregnant...My husband doesn't really believe it and the second line is faint...just went for a blood test today to get the results on Monday. He's been joking that in 9 months I got some explaining to do when it comes out black lol. (aka hinting that I was with people in the USA*rolls eyes*) just teasing though he knows I wouldn't, or even had time to do it. It just seems to good to be true, the timing would have had to have been absolutely perfect...and also I'm about to head to cancun this weekend....lmao was going to take a break from TTC to have a little fun in the sun with drinking tons on the menu....so much for that....

 

[Sideways 8]

LauraAvasMom, you are making the right decision I think. Your children's safety must come first of course!!!

kass, I'd smack my DH if he said stuff like that to me!! lol

 

[young_n_proud]

Ok since we're talking surprise pregnancy, is there anyone on here that maybe still has reserves about it? I mean I am kind of excited of the prospect of being pregnant again and at a chance for my first LO to be a big brother (just because he absolutely loves other children and it makes my heart melt to watch him go up to strange kids so that he can play with them) but there is still a part of me (a pretty big part actually) that is really scared for this to be happening again and gets nervous thinking about all the negative aspects rather than think about the positive and it makes me feel bad. Especially when there are so many women TRYING and I didn't, it makes me feel...ungrateful or something.

 

[weerach]

Ok since we're talking surprise pregnancy, is there anyone on here that maybe still has reserves about it? I mean I am kind of excited of the prospect of being pregnant again and at a chance for my first LO to be a big brother (just because he absolutely loves other children and it makes my heart melt to watch him go up to strange kids so that he can play with them) but there is still a part of me (a pretty big part actually) that is really scared for this to be happening again and gets nervous thinking about all the negative aspects rather than think about the positive and it makes me feel bad. Especially when there are so many women TRYING and I didn't, it makes me feel...ungrateful or something.

I think thats a natural feeling, i got pregnant really young,had my 1st son at 17 2nd son at 22 and now 24 and pregnant with #3 . For a long time even after ds2 was born i felt so guilty that i could have two kids so young,the 1st was unplanned and got pregnant within the 1st month of trying for #2 and theres so many women who wait years for babies, some never get a biological baby of their own. I even looked into donating my eggs but obviously baby #3 stands in the way of that now, its something id definately like to do in the future.

 

[miss cakes]

Ok since we're talking surprise pregnancy, is there anyone on here that maybe still has reserves about it? I mean I am kind of excited of the prospect of being pregnant again and at a chance for my first LO to be a big brother (just because he absolutely loves other children and it makes my heart melt to watch him go up to strange kids so that he can play with them) but there is still a part of me (a pretty big part actually) that is really scared for this to be happening again and gets nervous thinking about all the negative aspects rather than think about the positive and it makes me feel bad. Especially when there are so many women TRYING and I didn't, it makes me feel...ungrateful or something.

yes i feel like this i already have 3 children an as i said earler this pregnancy has happened after only a couple of weeks of getting with my new partner i tried to explain my fears to my OH yesterday bt he didnt get it hes so excited as this will be his first that everythings all roses for him right now n i dont wanna put him on a downer or spoil it for him but i am still in a state o shock tbh im not unhappy about it but i know from experiance how hard it is and i also am not sure that our relationship will last as we havent been together long im still getting to know him and i dont wanna end up with 4 kids on my own again so yeah im scared! lol

 

[miss cakes]

Hello , I'm ten weeks to a supprise , my little ladys 18 months I split with her dad in November and had a very short not very nice rebound relationship with an ex who is on drugs and after splitting up because I put me and my daughter first he decided to rape me , me being stupid I never got morning after pill , but after him recently kicking of a neighbour rang police and I'm now trying to get him rightly or wrongly out mine and kids life until he's off drugs but im happy with my supprise xx

your doing exactly the right thing in my opinion your children come first they dont need that in their lives or yours x

 

[elle1981]

My pregnancy was a total surprise too. I am in the middle of arranging a pretty big english italian wedding, for the 16th march 2013. So getting a BFP last Tuesday was a massive shock and a how did that happen moment?!

My fiance was open mouthed for about 10 minutes and didnt even say anything...lol. I cried on and off for 2 days. Then we both had a moment when we sat and talked and decided this would complete our family.

We have managed to move the wedding to 1st june and everyone has been so understanding which has made it all so much easier.

And i have to admit I am soooooo EXCITED NOW!!!! YIPPPPPEEEEEEEE!!!



Elle x

 

[J04NN4]

Can I join please? This bean was the result of a broken condom. I thought we'd be fine but then I ovulated 3 days early! It was obviously 'meant to be' haha. I'd been tracking ovulation and taking folic acid already as we were planning to TTC in June/July. So we're not that ahead of schedule I know but we had a big holiday planned (just got back yesterday) and I wanted to generally eat, drink and be merry.

But more importantly than that we're moving house on the 19th - 600 miles away! And I really didn't want to be pregnant for that for mine or the baby's sake. I'm worried about the effect the stress will have on him/her and I'm worried I'm going to be a massive burden on my OH. I'll be about 9 weeks - luckily I've had no morning sickness so far other than some strong nausea (no actual throwing up) but who knows what state I'll be in then. Also it's a move we've been desperately looking forward to for years - a new life, a new chapter. Whilst I know a baby is a fantastic start to our new life I'm worried I won't feel as settled there because I won't be able to unpack/move furniture around etc as easily as I'd hoped. Also we'll have only been there 5 minutes before we have to start thinking about baby's room!

And, just to top it all off, we're moving to a mountainous, remote area 80 miles away from the nearest hospital and the baby's due at the end of December. Excuse my language but I am absolutely shitting myself. We'd even planned to avoid trying at certain times if I hadn't conceived by then so this didn't happen! I'm terrified about being snowed in or ending up giving birth in a lay by.

I feel bad even writing all of this because I feel like I'm tempting fate. I want this baby so, SO much. I've been wanting this for years and we're both thrilled. It's just, we'd planned everything so carefully for lots of good reasons and I feel like it's taking me a while to come to terms with the fact that it's all gone out of the window.

Sorry to have written an essay - thanks so much for this thread, it's nice to have somewhere to get this off my chest even if no one replies. Like I say I feel so bad for even feeling this way and people seem to think you either want a pregnancy or you don't - you're thrilled or you're gutted - no shades of grey. It's nice to have this thread where I know you ladies will understand.

 

[Baby Bell]

Jo4nn4 congratulations! I know how you can want a baby so much, but that timing is everything! I moved last year in November when I was 7 months pregnant and it was hard (and I live in a city bout 5 mins from a massive hospital so don have hat to worry about) but it worked out. I found I could take better control and organise better, my OH and his mates did all he heavy lifting! I pointed where I wanted stuff, and I remember sitting on floor with a huge bump filling my bookcase and loving the thought that this is my baby's new home/first home and that made all so special!

 

[Sideways 8]

OMG JO4 I remember you from the WTT forums! Holy cow! Looks like you and I are in the same boat.

 

[young_n_proud]

Sorry to have written an essay - thanks so much for this thread, it's nice to have somewhere to get this off my chest even if no one replies. Like I say I feel so bad for even feeling this way and people seem to think you either want a pregnancy or you don't - you're thrilled or you're gutted - no shades of grey. It's nice to have this thread where I know you ladies will understand.

Yes! This is exactly what I was trying to say except I couldn't quite word it well. I don't want people to get the impression that I am not excited-my OH and I are thrilled to be parents again and have a little baby in our arms again, especially since it's been so bitter sweet to watch our first LO grow up so fast. But we are a pretty young couple and still trying to figure our lives out which is hard enough with one baby. Now I've got one on the way, and there is just so much to be nervous about. But excited all the same. I know once I get to hear the baby's heartbeat (only a few more days now!!) and see that everything is good on the scan (I am really nervous about that, more nervous than last time eek!) than this will all become more real and I will fall in love all over again. I mean that's how it works right? You can never understand true love until you have a child, and you will never know the amount you can love until you have more. That's what I hear anyway. The first part I know is true through experience.

 

[J04NN4]

Thanks ladies, I've said it before and I've said it again, it's so nice to find others in the same boat.

I remember you too Sideways - well you were hoping for a small age gap weren't you?! Looks like you got your wish, if a little more extreme than anticipated

Thanks for the advice Baby Bell, I've talked to my hubby this morning and we've decided we're going to tell my parents when we see them this weekend (my birthday!). They're helping us move and I just think it would be so much better if they knew. We were going to wait until 12 weeks to tell anyone but I've booked an early scan for Tues and if we see the heartbeat it's almost as 'safe' as 12 weeks. I just feel like they need to know if they're helping with the move, it'll take so much pressure off!

 

[J04NN4]

By the way young n proud, your profile pic is so cute! I may steal that idea for the future if you don't mind

 

[Sideways 8]

yeah well 15 months age gap isn't what I had in mind but I'll for sure take it

I completely understand the shades of grey aspect to this... I'm still torn between "yay!" and "crap now I can't drink at the beach next weekend" lol

 

[gemico117]

Sorry to have written an essay - thanks so much for this thread, it's nice to have somewhere to get this off my chest even if no one replies. Like I say I feel so bad for even feeling this way and people seem to think you either want a pregnancy or you don't - you're thrilled or you're gutted - no shades of grey. It's nice to have this thread where I know you ladies will understand.

Yes! This is exactly what I was trying to say except I couldn't quite word it well. I don't want people to get the impression that I am not excited-my OH and I are thrilled to be parents again and have a little baby in our arms again, especially since it's been so bitter sweet to watch our first LO grow up so fast. But we are a pretty young couple and still trying to figure our lives out which is hard enough with one baby. Now I've got one on the way, and there is just so much to be nervous about. But excited all the same. I know once I get to hear the baby's heartbeat (only a few more days now!!) and see that everything is good on the scan (I am really nervous about that, more nervous than last time eek!) than this will all become more real and I will fall in love all over again. I mean that's how it works right? You can never understand true love until you have a child, and you will never know the amount you can love until you have more. That's what I hear anyway. The first part I know is true through experience.

I totally feel the same as you two! I feel guilty even thinking about how this may not have been the best timing and how in the world am I going to get everything figured out!! But, I am over the moon that we are having another child, it's just taking some time to get used to the thought. DH is a little more apprehensive about it all, I mean he is completely excited and wants this baby, however, he's not ready to share himself yet. Him and DD are like 2 peas in a pod & best friends - he's not ready to give that up just yet. I'm also super worried that I'm not going to do a good job of making DD feel included in everything - I don't want her to feel abandoned because of all the time I'll have to spend with the baby. And she's going to be almost 7 years old when the baby is born so she'll have a pretty good sense if we aren't paying enough attention to her.

 

[young_n_proud]

By the way young n proud, your profile pic is so cute! I may steal that idea for the future if you don't mind

Thank you!! And no not at all it would be my pleasure! I've always wanted to feel like a trend setter!

Sorry to have written an essay - thanks so much for this thread, it's nice to have somewhere to get this off my chest even if no one replies. Like I say I feel so bad for even feeling this way and people seem to think you either want a pregnancy or you don't - you're thrilled or you're gutted - no shades of grey. It's nice to have this thread where I know you ladies will understand.

Yes! This is exactly what I was trying to say except I couldn't quite word it well. I don't want people to get the impression that I am not excited-my OH and I are thrilled to be parents again and have a little baby in our arms again, especially since it's been so bitter sweet to watch our first LO grow up so fast. But we are a pretty young couple and still trying to figure our lives out which is hard enough with one baby. Now I've got one on the way, and there is just so much to be nervous about. But excited all the same. I know once I get to hear the baby's heartbeat (only a few more days now!!) and see that everything is good on the scan (I am really nervous about that, more nervous than last time eek!) than this will all become more real and I will fall in love all over again. I mean that's how it works right? You can never understand true love until you have a child, and you will never know the amount you can love until you have more. That's what I hear anyway. The first part I know is true through experience.

I totally feel the same as you two! I feel guilty even thinking about how this may not have been the best timing and how in the world am I going to get everything figured out!! But, I am over the moon that we are having another child, it's just taking some time to get used to the thought. DH is a little more apprehensive about it all, I mean he is completely excited and wants this baby, however, he's not ready to share himself yet. Him and DD are like 2 peas in a pod & best friends - he's not ready to give that up just yet. I'm also super worried that I'm not going to do a good job of making DD feel included in everything - I don't want her to feel abandoned because of all the time I'll have to spend with the baby. And she's going to be almost 7 years old when the baby is born so she'll have a pretty good sense if we aren't paying enough attention to her.

Yeah I kind of feel the same way. I'm worried that I will be so consumed with trying to take care of a baby while also trying to take care of my toddler's needs (which is going to be tough considering their at that really sensitive age where they want independance but still depend on you for quite a bit.) Most of the time I feel like and then other times like when my son is throwing a major temper tantrum I think to myself "Oh Vey two kids? I must be crazy!! LOL!

 

[Kahlan83]

I've had some reservations as well. Mine are because of my weight. As I said, I was hoping that we'd have time for me to lose 20-30 lbs before we actually got pregnant so I'm worried that me being so overweight will affect my pregnancy. I'm not sure if my weight had anything to do with how miserable I was with my first but the swelling and pain was pretty massive and I have a high pain tolerance.

I love this baby and I do want him/her more than anything. I feel very blessed to have gotten pregnant so soon. I know for sure that when/if we decide on a third that I'm going to make sure I get down to a more healthy weight first.

I guess what's meant to be is meant to be.

I know my son will be a good big brother, he'll be 3.5 and he already gets a long well with other kids and my DH owns his own business so he's home more, plus my mom lives a couple blocks away. I'm fortunate in that respect. so I don't think my post-partum will be as bad or if it shows up at all this time.

Take care of yourselves ladies

 

[J04NN4]

I wanted to lose some weight too Kahlan - I'd lost 15 pounds but still had at least another 30 (probably more like 40) to go. But ah well, what will be will be!

I had my first scan today and saw the baby's heartbeat which was amazing. We're going to tell our parents and a few friends at the weekend as we're seeing them all for my birthday. So far only one friend knows so it's all very exciting! Do any of you have any ideas for creative announcements? (not too creative though lol, my family would just think I'm being showy, we're not really like that )