Sweet_Alida
I'm so happy you found us!
I understand where your hubby is coming from, but I don't think you're selfish at all! He is scared, and although that is understandable, I don't think he should let fear hold him back. He is reminding me or my own hubby when we first talked about TTC this time around. Hubby has known for years that I wanted another one, but he was NOT on that page at all. We weren't even on the same book!
After praying for God to change his heart or take the desire for another away from me, my husband tells me one night that he was having a change of heart and wanted to "put it in God's hands". I took that to mean that he wanted to try and make a baby. Boy was I wrong! Shortly after this discussion, we had a date night; dinner and a movie. It was January 2009. I remember we went to dinner at Macaroni Grill (a great Italian restaurant). Shortly after we were seated I said, "I'm so excited about trying to conceive." He looked at me with this strange expression on his face. Then he proceeds to tell me that he hadn't meant that we'd TRY. He was simply leaving it in God's hands. That was the worst dinner of my life. I couldn't choke the food down. I finally asked for a container. I felt ridiculous crying in the restaurant, so I excused myself to the ladies room and had a good cry there. We then sat in the car trying to discuss things. I tried to explain that God is good and all, but this was going to be a weird setup...was I supposed to avoid keeping track of ovulation? Or was I supposed to try like all get out and then pray it worked? I mean as awesome as God is, you actually have to have sex around ovulation to conceive. It seemed to me that hubby didn't even know what the heck he wanted. I personally think God had done some work on his heart, but hubby was still letting his fears win out. After that we went to the movie, Gran Torino. It was a great movie (besides all the cursing) and I was able to cry a river without feeling conspicuous.
So I tried HARD not to keep track of ovulation, otherwise I'd feel guilty that I was TRYING. I didn't temp or use OPK's or anything that remotely helped in baby-making. I didn't want to initiate lovemaking, as that too may be construed as trying. I don't know when we started trying...possibly the same time I joined Fertility Friend, which was 16 cycles ago. Hubby somehow jumped on board and does his share to help things along. During our family Bible study a couple of months ago, as he was saying the prayer, he asked God to bless us with another little one.
It sounds like your hubby just needs to get through his fears. Unfortunately, that might not happen until you conceive, or maybe when the baby arrives. But I hope it happens sooner! How do you feel about using OPK's on the sly? I'm not sure that's a good idea. It's just that we aren't getting any younger, so you don't want to waste any good eggs. Maybe you could have another heart to heart talk and let him know how you feel?
Good luck!!
I listened to "What Faith Can Do"...very pretty.
. So we've only had about 5 or 6 cycles with productive swimmers.
for #5
I'm just torn, I want to do more to help with TTC but dh doesn't and gives me a hard time when I bring it up. My OBGYN said if we don't fall pregnant by March he would start me on Clomid but I'm afraid to bring that up to my dh as he doesn't want to "help" TTC along. Am I being selfish? He thinks I am. If you do that's fine I need honest opinions. I just know if I fall pregnant he will be scared until the baby is born...hopefully without NEHI. Even if the next baby does have NEHI studies show that the sibling will be born with a less severe case. And Alida's case is not very bad. Am I testing fate? Am I being the selfish Mom? Do I continue to TTC or stop and be happy with what I do have(which I am)? 
Men can be complicated when it comes to TTC. 
