![Cry :cry: :cry:](/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/cry.gif)
It's horrible. I've never felt so poorly in all my life. It's really awful. All I want to do is go back to work - And I never thought that I'd hear myself saying that to be honest
![Blush :blush: :blush:](/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/blush.gif)
I have all the worry of not working as well, because I'm really not getting much money coming in every week, because I haven't been there long enough to get much sick pay yet
![dohh :dohh: :dohh:](/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/doh.gif)
I need the money, so I really need to get back ASAP, but I know I can't rush back either.
I was so hoping to go back tomorrow, but I can't because of seeing the Urologist. Hopefully, I'll go back on Tuesday. It's not too much work, because there are so few children in, it's basically sitting down on the floor all day, and with painkillers, I can cope. I really have to get back to it, especially if it's going to be a long-term illness kind of thing. I doubt they will let me though, I guess I'll be signed off again!
![Cry :cry: :cry:](/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/cry.gif)
I miss it.
I've spent all day crying more or less because I'm so fed up and worried. I'm worried about tomorrow, and how it's going to affect Lola, & what happens next with everything.
![Shrugg :shrug: :shrug:](/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/srug.gif)
I feel so in the dark about everything. So hopefully, I'll feel better after tomorrow. Plus, I think I feel emotionally and physically worse today because I couldn't sleep last night. Seriously, I'm sure they did my obs every 30 minutes through the night
I'm thinking about changing hospitals (Katy gave me the idea, so thanks hun!
![flower :flower: :flower:](/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/flower.gif)
) because the one I am at now is totally rubbish. I think I'll look into that tomorrow as well, and get it sorted. Anywhere is better than the one I'm at now. I don't think I'd feel right having my baby there to be honest. I thought it was OK until now, but after this it doesn't sit right with me. Am I being pathetic?
OH has been round tonight to sit with me (I'm literally in bed all day, I'm exhausted all the time, and need drinks all the time). I get so fed up on my own, so thank goodness I have him. He has been a Godsend the last couple of weeks. I don't know what I would have done without him
![Cloud 9 :cloud9: :cloud9:](/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/cloud9.gif)
He's fabulous. We just watched the X-Factor and ate chocolate!
Anyway, enough about me. How are you girlies, and bumps, and little ones? Hope everyone is good xxxxxxxxx