Telling people before 3 months?

[EarthMama]

I told my BFF but we will not be telling anyone. Not even family. We have had 2 losses and we just want to make sure that there is a baby that is measuring on time around 12 weeks or so in there before we spill the beans. I hate having people tell me how sorry they are and how it "just was not meant to be" or "God has different plans". TRUST ME, I know that... But it is only okay when I say that... or someone else that has actually been through this. So no, we will not tell anyone until we cannot hide it anymore.

Exactly, the worst thing for me was hearing everyone's theories on why it happened in addition to all the empty platitudes. Don't want to deal with that again so we are way more cautious in telling people.

Omg I know! everyone saying "oh, well the body takes care of it when there is something not right." or "It just wasn't meant to be." That is annoying and it is just not nice to say. I would NEVER say that to a woman that had a MC. We are very cautious as well but I cannot wait to make a big announcement once I know the sex of the baby.

Imagine being told that after the loss of your son at 31weeks--->even from one of the doctors. Sad, right? The things that people say are often so inappropriate I would smile as to not cause them discomfort while thinking, "If only I could tell them how I really feel!"

Wow, insane. The sheer insensitivity of some people is mind blowing.

 

[Sachis2112]

My family live about 5,000 miles from me, but we will be visiting them at the end of October, when I will be around 12 weeks. My sister and BIL already know, and I will tell my parents then. We've told a few friends, and I told my supervisor at work so she can prepare herself for my absence.

However, I do have the urge to tell people. I placate it by telling strangers I will never see again, like a real estate agent we met on a house tour.

YES!!! It feels good to tell strangers, huh? When the urge to tell people gets to be too much, I'll tell another close friend. That helps too.

I think your 12 week visit is great timing.

 

[rubyring]

Hi Disnybaby26 , it looks like we are pregnancy buddys as i had my first scan today and i'm 7 weeks 0 days my baby is 10mm xx aND CONGRATULATIONS xxx

 

[jenny82]

My family live about 5,000 miles from me, but we will be visiting them at the end of October, when I will be around 12 weeks. My sister and BIL already know, and I will tell my parents then. We've told a few friends, and I told my supervisor at work so she can prepare herself for my absence.

However, I do have the urge to tell people. I placate it by telling strangers I will never see again, like a real estate agent we met on a house tour.

My hairdresser was the first person to know the last time I was pregnant. She was the only one to know for about 2 months as well. Privileged position

 

[MrsGax]

I told my BFF but we will not be telling anyone. Not even family. We have had 2 losses and we just want to make sure that there is a baby that is measuring on time around 12 weeks or so in there before we spill the beans. I hate having people tell me how sorry they are and how it "just was not meant to be" or "God has different plans". TRUST ME, I know that... But it is only okay when I say that... or someone else that has actually been through this. So no, we will not tell anyone until we cannot hide it anymore.

Exactly, the worst thing for me was hearing everyone's theories on why it happened in addition to all the empty platitudes. Don't want to deal with that again so we are way more cautious in telling people.

Omg I know! everyone saying "oh, well the body takes care of it when there is something not right." or "It just wasn't meant to be." That is annoying and it is just not nice to say. I would NEVER say that to a woman that had a MC. We are very cautious as well but I cannot wait to make a big announcement once I know the sex of the baby.

Imagine being told that after the loss of your son at 31weeks--->even from one of the doctors. Sad, right? The things that people say are often so inappropriate I would smile as to not cause them discomfort while thinking, "If only I could tell them how I really feel!"

OMG. WTF? I am literally so shocked at how dumb people can be sometimes. That is so wrong. So out of line, and so sad. People are so insensitive.

 

[CastawayBride]

I told my BFF but we will not be telling anyone. Not even family. We have had 2 losses and we just want to make sure that there is a baby that is measuring on time around 12 weeks or so in there before we spill the beans. I hate having people tell me how sorry they are and how it "just was not meant to be" or "God has different plans". TRUST ME, I know that... But it is only okay when I say that... or someone else that has actually been through this. So no, we will not tell anyone until we cannot hide it anymore.

Exactly, the worst thing for me was hearing everyone's theories on why it happened in addition to all the empty platitudes. Don't want to deal with that again so we are way more cautious in telling people.

Omg I know! everyone saying "oh, well the body takes care of it when there is something not right." or "It just wasn't meant to be." That is annoying and it is just not nice to say. I would NEVER say that to a woman that had a MC. We are very cautious as well but I cannot wait to make a big announcement once I know the sex of the baby.

Imagine being told that after the loss of your son at 31weeks--->even from one of the doctors. Sad, right? The things that people say are often so inappropriate I would smile as to not cause them discomfort while thinking, "If only I could tell them how I really feel!"

OMG. WTF? I am literally so shocked at how dumb people can be sometimes. That is so wrong. So out of line, and so sad. People are so insensitive.

Yeah....it was shocking. I mean I have heard it from quite a few people but the doctor, like not even 10 hours after I lost my son. It really shocked me.

 

[WantingABubba]

Totally up to you. I was about 5 weeks when I announced and got a lot of flack from my cousin for it. However, I am now 11 + 5, and I can quite easily hear baby on my Doppler, having heard it just last night.

I am very active on my Instagram and have a lot of friends on Facebook. It's been lovely sharing my baby with them, as well as talk about the tough things I've been going through. Their support has been extremely crucial for me, as I have been going through some horrific stresses with little to no family support. If have felt completely alone otherwise. It's been a relief to not have to hide my pregnancy with anyone, espcially when at work feeling crap.

On the other hand, if I lost my baby, I would be spitting mad and hurt at any comments like 'it was meant to be' 'it's God's will' (especially as I'm an atheist!) etc. I've also had some comments about termination from a co-worker that made me mad. I would also find it hard un-telling people, and having to go over it constantly.

I don't know what I will do with my second. I may announce early, I may not.

 

[Disneybaby26]

Totally up to you. I was about 5 weeks when I announced and got a lot of flack from my cousin for it. However, I am now 11 + 5, and I can quite easily hear baby on my Doppler, having heard it just last night.

I am very active on my Instagram and have a lot of friends on Facebook. It's been lovely sharing my baby with them, as well as talk about the tough things I've been going through. Their support has been extremely crucial for me, as I have been going through some horrific stresses with little to no family support. If have felt completely alone otherwise. It's been a relief to not have to hide my pregnancy with anyone, espcially when at work feeling crap.

On the other hand, if I lost my baby, I would be spitting mad and hurt at any comments like 'it was meant to be' 'it's God's will' (especially as I'm an atheist!) etc. I've also had some comments about termination from a co-worker that made me mad. I would also find it hard un-telling people, and having to go over it constantly.

I don't know what I will do with my second. I may announce early, I may not.

How far along were you in your avatar picture? It's adorable!!

 

[Disneybaby26]

I had breakfast with my best friend since I was 3, who I never told about my MC bc we have separate friends and they were buying a house at the time so I hadn't seen her. DHs mom happened to be best friends with her other friends mother. Come to find out my MIL told her friend, who told her daughter, who told my friend. So now my friend confronts me with tears in her eyes about the whole thing and why I never came to her etc so I spent the while breakfast rehashing my MC after 5 months of putting it behind me. Awesome. I'm so mad at my MIL, it's none of her business to talk to people about things like that...yet another reason why were waiting to tell this time...

 

[PandaMao]

I think it's a really personal thing, but I'm not planning on telling anyone else until after my 12 week scan. Hubby's parents found out right away because we live with them and my symptoms were too obvious too hide for long. Told my parents because didn't want them to but know but hubby's parents to know. Or siblings also know, but that is it. Everyone else has too wait. I just can't imagine telling everyone super early. If someone bad is going to happen it's most likely in the first trimester. Plus s lot of women don't even get a scan until 12 weeks to see what's going on. I'd much rather tell a few people so if something were to happen I would have support, but not have to deal with pity from a bunch a people.

 

[Karigan]

mh_ccl, I am so doing this too!!

 

[Teeny]

I told my yoga instructor today to see if I could keep going. she was cool and said she could adapt it! yay! I always feel like I need to stress to people that I know it's still really early days tho!!

 

[Karinama98]

We told our immediate families around week 7 that we were expecting with our first pregnancy. We told a few other close friends after that, but waited until our 12 week appointment to know things were going well before announcing it to everyone else. I had some bleeding issues throughout the weeks prior, so for us to be at 12 weeks we were excited to tell everyone, so that night we announced it on Facebook. Five days later we had to announce on there again that we lost the baby unexpectedly the night of my birthday. It was the hardest announcement to make, but so many people privately wrote me and contacted us with support and stories of their losses.

This time around, we only announced it to our families at week 8 and to our bosses so they are aware of what is going on. We don't plan on announcing it to everyone else until at least week 14 when we're in the 2nd trimester, and Facebook most likely will be at week 18 or longer.

It was something we went through we wish we had kept private a little longer the first time.

 

[EarthMama]

We told our immediate families around week 7 that we were expecting with our first pregnancy. We told a few other close friends after that, but waited until our 12 week appointment to know things were going well before announcing it to everyone else. I had some bleeding issues throughout the weeks prior, so for us to be at 12 weeks we were excited to tell everyone, so that night we announced it on Facebook. Five days later we had to announce on there again that we lost the baby unexpectedly the night of my birthday. It was the hardest announcement to make, but so many people privately wrote me and contacted us with support and stories of their losses.

This time around, we only announced it to our families at week 8 and to our bosses so they are aware of what is going on. We don't plan on announcing it to everyone else until at least week 14 when we're in the 2nd trimester, and Facebook most likely will be at week 18 or longer.

It was something we went through we wish we had kept private a little longer the first time.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I had one in February and it was so hard telling people about it after.

 

[zoomhilda]

With #1 we waited until 12 weeks. We shared with everyone at 9 weeks this time after the first ultrasound. less patient as we get older, I guess