Thanksgiving dinner woes.. What do you do?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by nolansmom, Oct 7, 2013.

  1. nolansmom

    nolansmom Guest

    So it's been typical for me to have a TG dinner or Easter or Christmas for "everyone" -- usually about 10 people from family. Well I've tried to get away from it before and just make dinner for me and Ds but that has never worked.

    Recently I've had words with my brother about a family squabble involving his son and his g/f which I'm sure he was surprised about but I just had to say how I felt about the ongoing situation.

    That combined with the fact that I really don't need the extra hassle or work or arguments that come with my family and being around each other has made me consider again just having a dinner with Ds, OH and I.. Food isn't cheap anymore and I don't see why I should do all of this for a group of people who really don't want to be around each other anyway.

    I'd rather enjoy my dinner quietly without issue.. I won't need to make everything in large quantities and once the turkey is in can slowly do the few other sides I'll enjoy..

    How could this work out? I just say nothing and carry on about my making TG dinner for the 3 of us? Everyone else is grown yet refuses to cook for themselves (including my sisters) so I don't see why they couldn't do the same at their own places.. It's not that I don't want other people here but I don't want to have to go through the invite process. I don't want to hear the pre-dinner bickering when I invite about everything.. "is xxx coming" -- "when are they coming so I can spend less time with them" sort of stuff.. It's just draining and I'm pregnant and I have no patience.

    I can't do it again - the gossip and amount of unhappiness with each other can't just be swept under the carpet in order to eat some turkey.. It's silly and I don't want to participate in it..

    Also.. I have NOT been invited to OH family dinner. OH is arguing with his own sister and he got a text invite for himself - Ds and I were not invited so it's kinda important that I have something at my place for Ds as that's the only holiday dinner he will have. :)

    What does everyone else do with those family issues over holidays? I'd have a great big glass of wine but again, I'm pregnant.. :(
  2. GlassPeony

    GlassPeony Well-Known Member

    Jan 21, 2013
    Likes Received:
    Tell your family you already have plans for Thanksgiving and they will need to make their own plans independent of you. If they press the issue just tell them you made your own plans because you're not feeling up to handling the pressures of Thanksgiving, but one of them are more than welcome to host if that's what they want. And then stick to it. Don't budge, don't discuss it, don't negotiate.

    As far as what you actually do-- make a meal for just you three and enjoy it! You don't need a massive celebration to have a happy Thanksgiving :)
  3. Storm1jet2

    Storm1jet2 Well-Known Member

    Feb 2, 2011
    Likes Received:
    I guarantee you my big fat pregnant butt will end up doing Christmas dinner for at least 14 including my ungrateful in-laws... *sigh*
  4. worrying

    worrying Well-Known Member

    Jul 28, 2010
    Likes Received:
    I agree with GlassPeony, just say you would love a big family thanksgiving but you are just not up to hosting it this year. You never know, someone may take the hint and offer!

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