I don't know what I weigh now as I haven't stepped on a scale since 2005. BUT judging from Wii Fit....I need to lose about 70 pounds.

So embarrassing to admit that.

I've never been overweight in my life!
I would weigh myself for better accuracy but I'm deathly afraid of scales. I had an eating disorder for 10 years and am so afraid of them now.....more so now because of the weight I've gained.
While I am embarking on my weight loss journey, I'm going to ask you ladies if you can do me a favor?? Can you please let me know if I seem to be going back to eating disorder behaviors? (just a little background I was hospitalized 2x for anorexia) I have started dieting and exercising 4 days ago and am VERY scared! I've even wanted to do my workouts twice in one day!! I'm going to post my food intake and my exercise program. Whenever I start exercising, it ALWAYS leads to an eating disorder again.

I tend to have very black and white thinking....meaning it's all or nothing. And when I diet, I DIET!! Which is a huge reason why I've gained so much weight in the first place.

I knew 30 pounds ago (roughly based on clothing size) that I needed to watch it but I was soo petrified of the scale and my eating disorder starting up again that I stayed far away from any kind of exercising, thereby gaining more weight.

So, I was content with being fat so long as it meant there was no chance of my eating disorder coming back. But I can't put off dieting and exercising any longer. I'm not in therapy atm, so I'm really going to need help. I also have DH keeping an eye on me...but don't want to put all that on him.
Thanks ladies.