The girl obsession

I'd like a boy, or a girl - even better would be twin boys or girls! or a boy and a girl, I don't want any possible 'baby fairies' out there to think I wouldn't want what they've got left in the box when they fly over my house.

Please note, i don't really believe that babies come from the baby fairy.

I mean c'mon - they'd never be able to carry twins!

*grin*
 
I have 3 boys and we are doing everything possible to have a girl this time. Yes I'm VERY grateful that I have 3 healthy boys. But everyone has different priorities. While I feel absolutely horrible for people who can't have kids at all I feel I still have the right to be upset if I were to have another boy. Yes I would still love the baby no matter what and most important thing is that it's healthy. But I'm not going to lie, when I had my ultrasound and they said my youngest was a boy I burst into tears, I cried the whole way home, I didn't want to talk about it for a few days. I was very disappointed. But I got over it and love him more than anything in the world, I'm so happy with my 3 boys. But I still have a right to feel upset, as she does too. I'm sure when she gets past the initial disappointment she'll love the baby just the same. Just because 'we' get upset that it isn't a girl doesn't mean we don't feel for those who can't have babies or that we should just be happy with whatever. I want a baby girl to share the same things I see my husband has with our boys. Growing up doing the same things he did, having that real experience to advise them, just knowing how boys are, they are incredibly close and I want that with a daughter too. I don't think I'm selfish at all.
 
Unfortunately gender disappointment isn't something people choose to get, it just happens. It must be awful though to find it hard to conceive and then to hear people are upset because the baby isn't the sex they want.
 
Of course I would love my babies the same whatever gender they are, but I would really like at least one girl. If I could never have a daughter, I would be disappointed/upset, and I'm not going to apologise for that. I think it's a bit harsh to get so angry with how other people feel.
 
I have 3 boys and we are doing everything possible to have a girl this time. Yes I'm VERY grateful that I have 3 healthy boys. But everyone has different priorities. While I feel absolutely horrible for people who can't have kids at all I feel I still have the right to be upset if I were to have another boy. Yes I would still love the baby no matter what and most important thing is that it's healthy. But I'm not going to lie, when I had my ultrasound and they said my youngest was a boy I burst into tears, I cried the whole way home, I didn't want to talk about it for a few days. I was very disappointed. But I got over it and love him more than anything in the world, I'm so happy with my 3 boys. But I still have a right to feel upset, as she does too. I'm sure when she gets past the initial disappointment she'll love the baby just the same. Just because 'we' get upset that it isn't a girl doesn't mean we don't feel for those who can't have babies or that we should just be happy with whatever. I want a baby girl to share the same things I see my husband has with our boys. Growing up doing the same things he did, having that real experience to advise them, just knowing how boys are, they are incredibly close and I want that with a daughter too. I don't think I'm selfish at all.

I do understand why after three boys, you'd want a girl. Any of us would, and nobody tells you whether you have, or not have the right to feel upset. You are to judge that, and you alone. At the end of the day, we can't control our feelings.

But I do, and the rest of the ladies here, (especially the ones that have been trying for endless months for just the one), also have the right to get upset when we hear that a woman is 'inconsolable' because her second child didn't turn out the sex she wanted.

You already have three wonderful boys, and you're longing for a girl (and were I in your shoes, I would too, most definitely). Other people are longing for a child though. I wish you have your little girl. Statistics should be on your side anyway. And I hope my friend has a third later on, and it's a girl indeed.

I am not judging her. I am not even judging her disappointment. I merely say that I am angered by the fact that she is said to be inconsolable. She is young, obviously healthy and able to conceive, blessed with two sons, a loving husband, and everybody in her close family safe and sound. She has a plethora of beautiful things to console her, and the opportunity to have that little girl later on.

:flower:
 
well i think people should be happy either way boy or girl.People are intitled to their opinions however mine is that when you ttc the 1st and get told u may never hae children thats got to be hard to take when someone says there devestated by having a specific gender!
As i said a preference to a specific gender after having many of same gender but to be inconsolable isnt right.

this WAS posted in the ttc forum so therefore lots of women longing for a baby of any sex.
Women are very fortunate to be in the position to have
a "preference" after aready having children.
 
That makes me soooo angry,as long as the baby turns out happy and healthy then what's there to be upset about.I think she needs to give herself a slap and realise what a blessing she has inside her xx
 
Of course I would love my babies the same whatever gender they are, but I would really like at least one girl. If I could never have a daughter, I would be disappointed/upset, and I'm not going to apologise for that. I think it's a bit harsh to get so angry with how other people feel.

If you read the answers in the thread though, you'll see we've already said that it's normal to have a preference or a secret wish. Nobody's judging her for wanting a girl. We're just discussing the fact that she's 'inconsolable'- which is NOT the same as disappointed btw.

My intention when I started this thread was not bitch, or be 'harsh' on my friend. It's just that hearing this story made me realise how badly I want a baby- when a few months ago I too was secretly wishing for a girl. I'm only on my fourth cycle of properly trying, with another two ntnp before that, and every :bfn: that is rubbed to my face shows me how grateful I'll be with a little boy.

At the end of the day, her son will have another little boy to play with. They say the first child, you're having it for you. The second, for your first one. And although I'm not stating this is a rule, it is also something to think about when your ultrasound doesn't show what you were longing for.

Just some thoughts.
 
i agree with the other ladies here! i would be soo happy with either gender - i mean c'mon does it really matter! as long as they are happy and healthy.
i would give anythin in the world right now to get pregnant and have my first child. The aching and longing for a child is there everyday and never goes away!
Please be grateful for ur blessings as a CHILD regardless of gender is truly a miracle!
 
If you read the answers in the thread though, you'll see we've already said that it's normal to have a preference or a secret wish. Nobody's judging her for wanting a girl. We're just discussing the fact that she's 'inconsolable'- which is NOT the same as disappointed btw.

My intention when I started this thread was not bitch, or be 'harsh' on my friend. It's just that hearing this story made me realise how badly I want a baby- when a few months ago I too was secretly wishing for a girl. I'm only on my fourth cycle of properly trying, with another two ntnp before that, and every :bfn: that is rubbed to my face shows me how grateful I'll be with a little boy.

At the end of the day, her son will have another little boy to play with. They say the first child, you're having it for you. The second, for your first one. And although I'm not stating this is a rule, it is also something to think about when your ultrasound doesn't show what you were longing for.

Just some thoughts.

I do understand that it would be hard for someone who can't have children at all to watch someone be upset about their child because of their gender. It does come off as ungrateful to be "inconsolable" about it, and I would certainly keep any disappointment inside and not show it to the world.
 
omg some people make me so angry! I have 2 girls so would love a ickle boy but jesus just to get passed 7 weeks without mcing to a beautiful baby girl/boy/alien I would be over joyed..... some people just dont understand what its like x
 
We wanted a girl because dyslexia and autism runs in the boys on dh's but when we found out we were having a boy there wasnt a shred of upset, i had a real bond mith my baby before i found out the sex and had actually thought i would be more surprised if we were told yes girl, because he felt like a boy (obviously lol) but never ever ever can i imagine putting on a newspaper announcement boy again, wife upset i mean wow! i would have all boys! in fact now i have a boy i would be more preferable to having more boys lol a team of mummys boys he he he he he he! love that thought!

i wonder if some of the peoples reactions to having boys is linked to pnt and depression, like i said i had such a bond with my baby, how some women can say they are upset about having a boy shows a lack of bonding to me because those words have not once passed my lips and would never dream of it, lack of bonding in the womb? would be interesting to find out . . . .
 
We wanted a girl because dyslexia and autism runs in the boys on dh's but when we found out we were having a boy there wasnt a shred of upset, i had a real bond mith my baby before i found out the sex and had actually thought i would be more surprised if we were told yes girl, because he felt like a boy (obviously lol) but never ever ever can i imagine putting on a newspaper announcement boy again, wife upset i mean wow! i would have all boys! in fact now i have a boy i would be more preferable to having more boys lol a team of mummys boys he he he he he he! love that thought!

i wonder if some of the peoples reactions to having boys is linked to pnt and depression, like i said i had such a bond with my baby, how some women can say they are upset about having a boy shows a lack of bonding to me because those words have not once passed my lips and would never dream of it, lack of bonding in the womb? would be interesting to find out . . . .

I think this particular friend I'm talking about is kind of obsessed with 'girly' things. She got married in a pink wedding dress, her sunglasses frame is pink, her hair bands and clips are pink, she used to walk her dog in a pink leash and so on... So I think she wants a girl to be able to dress and comb her hair and all that... This is why I find the word 'inconsolable' so unreasonable- and I really do hope that particular word was humorously used by that common friend of ours, I really do. I didn't mean to be harsh or badmouth her, but no matter how I look at it, she's still my friend, and perhaps if she were on mummyof3co's shoes, I'd be able to sympathise more (yes, after three boys, I'd also want a girl). But considering her circumstances, I think she has so much to be grateful for, and she can always try for a baby girl later.
 

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