The Great Pram Debate

[pixxi]

Usually I get on with my MIL really well, but we are at total loggerheads over this issue. What does anyone else think?

My POV: we don't need a pram/travel system straight away, for several reasons
- we don't have a car, travel very infrequently in cars, and the few times we do, the car drivers have access to other baby car seats that we can use
- we live in central London so mostly use bus or tube, and I would find it much easier to navigate these with a baby sling rather than a pram
- we live in a teeeeny flat, where there is barely any room for anything, and a travel system will be awkward and inconvenient for us
- we live on the first floor, so it would be impractical and daunting to try to single-handedly get baby and pram up and down flights of stairs
- I really want to use a baby sling for the closeness, DH and I will share the carrying
- I just don't go out a lot! Even when I'm on my own, and there aren't any situations that I can imagine where I would rather have a pram than have the baby strapped to me (Oxford St on a Saturday?! No thanks!)

However, once we have moved in August next year (when the baby will be 6 months old) I'm all for getting a little thing that we can have on standby to use as/when we feel the need.

MIL's POV: we simply have to have a travel system before the baby is here
- we will at least need our own car seat for the journey from hospital to home;
- I will feel very isolated once DH goes back to work and will want to go out with the baby and will clearly need a pram
- we won't be able to carry the baby around all the time in a sling as it will get too hot and uncomfortable
- I am being selfish because what is MIL supposed to do if she wants to take the baby out and we don't have a pram??

Am I completely on the wrong track here? Am I horribly out of touch for thinking that a baby sling will do for the first 6 months? I don't like feeling bullied into this - even though she has said she will buy this pram/travel system/whatever for us which is very generous - as I think it's our decision to make but she just won't budge. And tackles me directly about it when DH is out of ear shot and unable to help me argue our corner

All advice/ideas welcome!

 

[beccad]

It would be worth getting your own car seat, I think, just so you know what has happened to it. You can't be sure that any seat that a driver borrows from someone hasn't been in an accident or whatever. Plus you're reliant on that person remembering that you need a seat.

Could your MIL buy a buggy and keep it at her house until you need it?

FWIW, I wouldn't be bothering with a pushchair on Oxford St either - there's barely enough room for all the people!

 

[Celesse]

I found my LO spent more time in the sling than in the pram from about 1 month to 4 months as she just didn't like it. She wanted to be close to me and wanted to feed on the go so it was just easier to stick her in the sling. I'm gonna have a 21 month age gap this time and I'm not planning on getting a double buggy, DD can stay in the pram, and the new baby will be in a sling until he is a few months old.

Maybe post in Natural Parenting forum as theres some much more experienced baby wearers in there!

 

[MummyKK]

I can see your point! Only you know what will make things simplier for your rveryday life. Ive been told that the hospital wont let you leave without a car seat tho so check that. Altho u cud always borrow one for that one trip!

 

[pixxi]

Thanks for that!

beccad- the car seats we would have access to are my BIL's baby's one (in MIL's car - not sure if it's even been used yet, but was new in the last month or so) and my sister's baby's one (in my parents car - again only a few months old) so we would know if anything happened to them. Alternatively I will just ask my parents to keep a spare car seat at their house for the few times we ever visit and have to travel in their car. These are the only cars we travel in with any degree of frequency, and will just have to avoid travel in other people's cars (I can't even remember the last time we did this btw) until the baby is 6 months old.

MIL has offered to keep it at hers, but she wants us to research and choose it, and I would like to have the baby and know what we want before we decide what will best meet our needs

 

[Star7890]

I would buy a car seat though because what if you needed to get somewhere in an emergency by car you couldnt wait for someone to bring one round xx

 

[Celesse]

One thing I would add is you might struggle with a sling to begin with if you end up with a C-Section. And if baby ends up being tiny or early then they may be too small to be in the sling.

 

[donnalou]

It's a tough one I can see your point of view but what about if you have to pop out and it's raining or you are out with the baby in a sling and it starts pouring down. You and the baby cold and wet together at least if you had a little pushchair or something the baby would be warm and dry.

 

[pixxi]

It's a tough one I can see your point of view but what about if you have to pop out and it's raining or you are out with the baby in a sling and it starts pouring down. You and the baby cold and wet together at least if you had a little pushchair or something the baby would be warm and dry.

I will have a big umbrella! This is actually one of the things that attracts me more to a sling, because I can cover us both and keep the baby warm. If I'm pushing them along it will be much more difficult to hold and umbrella over myself as well

 

[Willo]

I think it is your decision to make not your MIL's. I have always had a pram for my kids from birth, but I had a cousin who used a baby sling and although she did have a pram I can never remember her using it when her son was first born.

Maybe do some research into if you were going to buy a pram/travel system which you would get. That way IF you find the sling is not working out then you can buy one after baby is here, if it's not working out the other way. I can see how it makes sense for you to not get one until after your move.

Good luck....

 

[Scottishgem]

Pixxi i am in the same situation as you, i live in islington, in a first floor flat, however we are going for a travel system as we need to get baby home from hospital, even though i wont be going to far for a while i will still be going out walking to get the baby weight off and even just popping to the shops to get stuff will be easier with a pram especially once baby gets heavier and if i do a bigger shop, plus we don't have a lot of friends with kids yet so don't have the benefit of using there stuff also as our parents live in scotland we would need a travel system to get up there on the train and we would need a car seat as none of my family or his have one as its the first grandchild.

 

[aliss]

Am I completely on the wrong track here? Am I horribly out of touch for thinking that a baby carrier will do for the first 6 months? I don't like feeling bullied into this - even though she has said she will buy this pram/travel system/whatever for us which is very generous - as I think it's our decision to make but she just won't budge. And tackles me directly about it when DH is out of ear shot and unable to help me argue our corner

All advice/ideas welcome!

I have used my Ergo daily for 15 months and have yet to use a stroller. I also live in Canada and our public transport is much worse than yours, it is still very easy to do.

Stick to your guns. Get a great carrier and who knows, you might not even bother with anything else for another few years let alone 6 months

 

[aliss]

BTW come visit us in natural parenting, there are plenty of us who don't even own a stroller/pram and we manage just fine! In fact most of us do it by choice once you realize how much fun babywearing can be. At 6 months, you are just getting into the fun part, it's far more useful after too!

https://www.babyandbump.com/natural-parenting/

 

[cinnamum]

newborns are floppy little things, i don't think a sling is a good idea for a newbie.
but i can understand your point with the stairs and small flat (we were in this situation with our 1st born) it drove me crAZY dragging the pram up and down the stairs!
though in a travel system it was easier... baby went into the carseat, pram was carried downstairs and then carseat was attatched to the pram. VOILA
though it was ALWAYS in the way, but another bonus was that i could put DD in the pram (without the carseat) for a nap and wheel her into different rooms with me while i did the housework.

if you wait till you move, when LO turns 6 months, you can buy an umbrella stroller (i call them this because they fold so small they look like brollies) for £40 BARGAIN!

also want to point out... people bump into you when you wear a sling, especially in busy places.
they wont bump into a pram! and if they do you can ram them!

i am half and half on this debate. i agree with you about space but your MIL is right too. xxxxx

 

[aliss]

newborns are floppy little things, i don't think a sling is a good idea for a newbie.
but i can understand your point with the stairs and small flat (we were in this situation with our 1st born) it drove me crAZY dragging the pram up and down the stairs!
though in a travel system it was easier... baby went into the carseat, pram was carried downstairs and then carseat was attatched to the pram. VOILA
though it was ALWAYS in the way, but another bonus was that i could put DD in the pram (without the carseat) for a nap and wheel her into different rooms with me while i did the housework.

if you wait till you move, when LO turns 6 months, you can buy an umbrella stroller (i call them this because they fold so small they look like brollies) for £40 BARGAIN!

also want to point out... people bump into you when you wear a sling, especially in busy places.
they wont bump into a pram! and if they do you can ram them!

i am half and half on this debate. i agree with you about space but your MIL is right too. xxxxx

No offense but have you ever worn a newborn? And if so, did you use a proper sling/wrap?? Slings are very ideal for newborns when worn properly, they are extremely secure. People don't whack into you when you are wearing a sling, how often do you people smack you in the upper chest as you walk around?

For thousands, if not millions of years, women have carried their babies in wraps/slings/cloth/animal skins - it's very easy to do and when done properly is perfectly safe and keeps babies very happy. Prams are simply a newer invention in western society and there's nothing wrong with doing it the old fashioned way if she chooses to.

 

[aliss]

This is my newborn at 5 weeks in a proper sturdy Ergo, unless someone intentionally came up to me and tried to elbow me in the chin on purpose, I don't see why this is in any sense putting him in harm's way, it would be a lot easier to walk into a large stroller would it not??? He was compressed on my chest, there is no possible way for him to flop around at all.

 

[CAM]

Get it and store it at your MIL house until its needed that way if she has the baby she has access to it and if she is right that it is a nightmare without one you have easy access to one. This is me assuming she lives near by you...

There are alot of Buggies etc that fold really small and made for small spaces etc

But at same time its up to you if you want one.

 

[lozzy21]

I agree with both you and her.

I do think you should get a car seat. We dont have a car but still have our own, its not allways convenient to borrow one? What if there using it when you need it? What if there was an emergancy and you needed to get a taxi some where? I know its legal to have a baby in a taxi with out a car seat but its not safe.

As for the pram it depends on your lifestyle. I baby wear and have two prams (addict much lol) but couldn't baby wear exclusively even with a new born, we go for coffee and out for lunch and it would not have been safe to wear her while doing these things encase i split hot drinks or food over her. If anything it was easier after 6 months as she could go in a high chair.

 

[Thumper]

We had both a travel system and used a wrap and carrier. We found we used the travel system less and less. The car seat was handy for us but we live in the country and use our car to get about a lot. I never liked putting him in the car seat on the chassis though as he was so small and floppy (as a PP said) and rolled about and never seemed comfortable. Whereas in his wrap he was snuggly cuddled up to me or DH and was much safer, warmer and happy. I love carrying him and really dislike having to drag a large travel system about, 'ramming' people accidently in the busy street etc.

 

[pixxi]

Pixxi i am in the same situation as you, i live in islington, in a first floor flat

How weird, we are in Holloway!

I have used my Ergo daily for 15 months and have yet to use a stroller. I also live in Canada and our public transport is much worse than yours, it is still very easy to do.

Stick to your guns. Get a great carrier and who knows, you might not even bother with anything else for another few years let alone 6 months

This is what I'm hoping! I just feel though like whatever happens - even if we love babycarrying and want to carry on - we will HAVE to get a pram just to pacify MIL I will definitely hop over to natural parenting!

I agree with both you and her.

I do think you should get a car seat. We dont have a car but still have our own, its not allways convenient to borrow one? What if there using it when you need it? What if there was an emergancy and you needed to get a taxi some where? I know its legal to have a baby in a taxi with out a car seat but its not safe.

The car seat she has currently for DH's brother's baby is exclusively for use in her car - my B & SIL don't have access to any other car. So if they were using it, it would be in her car and we wouldn't have need of it anyway, because we don't all fit in her car at the same time! And in an emergency...is it really necessary to buy a carseat for the soul purpose of in case an emergency happens? If there was a serious emergency I would call an ambulance anyway, I wouldn't be relying on a taxi drivers driving skills!