The LTTTC thread for everyone.

[crystal443]

Liz-drinking and peeing lots is good, it flushes the system and keeps the meds from building up I am so excited about your cycle, even DH keeps asking how things are going

Milty- I never used to be bothered much by pregnancy announcments but since the mc's, I do find I get quiet and a bit sad when someone announces a pregnancy that I know. I get so excited for ladies on here though, I think because I know how we've all struggled in some way or another and it honestly gives me hope it can happen

Milty, if we're both 3 DPO it has to be a good sign I'm not going to stress about it this month and what happens is what happens I might not even test until my test date which is Oct.14th we'll see, but you and Liz will keep me occupied with your testing

 

[Bravemom]

Morning ladies ,not even bothering to save my temp ,been up at four and since six ,So tired but it's a busy day today and need to get on with it ,think I have talked hubby into going on my walks with me Will be great to get him some exercise and I will have company Walking starts big time tonight Happy Sunday

 

[peacebaby]

Hi Bmom that's great that he's joining you, have a good one

 

[peacebaby]

Peacebaby how are you doing today? I hope you are managing the stress ok, I think it was crystal that told me before the worst thing of all is the unknown, and I would agree big time! Let's go sticky baby!!!!

The unknown and waiting is awful....started spotting yesterday so I'm beyond stressed. After a missed miscarriage you learn not to take anything for granted. Not much I can do but rest up and wait it out.

Milty the 3 of them are so awesome and happy! I still think of your story, its one of the sweetest ever. Sadly I missed the pic of all of you. Your son & future daughter in law look so much alike its uncanny. I want to follow his love story so you'll have to stay in touch till we're old & grey haha!

About hearing announcements from people in real life, I think many of us here have struggled with it at some point. I think its particularly hard because most those making early announcements have had it easy-someone who has struggled with fertility is generally more cautious and will make the announcement later.

For those of you in the 2ww

Crystal, I think that's the right attitude with testing. So many of the announcements on the forum are really early bfps I think I got it into my head that a bfp had to early or else it wasn't happening at all...wrong!

 

[readyformore]

About hearing announcements from people in real life, I think many of us here have struggled with it at some point. I think its particularly hard because most those making early announcements have had it easy-someone who has struggled with fertility is generally more cautious and will make the announcement later.

I agree, it's hard to hear it from real life friends. I find it easier if I have a buffer. I don't want to be told in person, I want a day or so to process before I have to congratulate that person. It's like I need to feel sorry for myself before I can feel happy for someone else.

I don't mind early announcements. With my job though, my perspective is HUGELY different so I'm sure that's influenced it. I had a patient that kept her pregnancy a secret until 20 weeks. She wanted to be sure she was out of the risk of miscarriage. She went into labor at 25 weeks and delivered the baby. He lived for only a couple of weeks. She regretted only having 5 weeks to share her pregnancy with friends and family. It was only 5 weeks of celebrating that little life.
You never know what is going to happen. If a person wants to share their news, there really is no 'right' time.

 

[readyformore]

Suki- Please come and visit as much as you want/can. I do understand your need to leave. I sometimes feel like I don't belong here either. I really am trying to find acceptance with 'being done' and I honestly find the phase of the menstrual cycle a boring topic, at least at this point.
If you want to just drop in and chat, there's no reason you shouldn't do that; even if it's unrelated to ttc. We'll miss you.

 

[LLbean]

Crystal thank your hubby for me too please

You can stay busy with me but you will be testing way before I have to hahaha. So I will be staying busy with you

 

[readyformore]

We watched "What to expect when you're expecting" last night. Anyone ever see that?

I thought it was really good. The movie wasn't a knock out or anything, but I was very impressed that the topic focused around 5 women that weren't all hyper fertile or had the best outcomes.
1 had a miscarriage
2 had fertility problems. 1 of them blamed herself for her 'bad eggs' and wasting their 401K on 3 IVFs that didn't work. She ended up adopting from out of the country. The other ltttc lady, ttc for 2 years prior to her bfp. Her joy was deflated with the announcement of a close family relative that unexpectedly falls pregnant and has the best pregnancy and delivery ever; while the former infertile struggles with every pregnancy burden and doesn't get the delivery she wants. Totally made me think of you Jen. I think she thought she would have rainbows shooting from her ass and the reality was very different. I totally appreciated her character and her struggles. There was also a group of men that were in the park with their babies. They talked about how their kids have played in the toilet, fallen off the changing table, etc.........I could totally relate.

 

[LLbean]

Not only did I watch it but I was in it hehehe. I was a simple extra in the movie so don't get excited. I was in the scene with the food trucks in the park

 

[Milty]

Oh I did see it and thought it was really good. It was fairly honest that's what I liked.

 

[Bravemom]

Liz I'm going out to buy it just to watch you in it Peace I'm praying for you and your little bean ,please god let everything be ok

 

[peacebaby]

Thanks Bmom

I watched the movie recently too and liked it for its honesty and that it gave different perspectives of the whole child making/rearing business. Haha I thought of Jen too The dudes in the park were refreshingly realistic. Now this may sound silly but the adoption part really got me thinking about it - i know its just a movie but it brought home the fact that maternal love for a child doesn't have to come from a biological connection only. Suddenly I felt like it was something I was capable of doing even if I don't have any kids of my own, whereas I previously thought I'd always feel that biological bond was missing - I say this from the perspective of not having any kids. Perhaps once you're a parent that realisation exists anyway?


LL hey famous you...I'll have to watch that part again in slow-mo to see if I can spot you

 

[HappyAuntie]

Suki, I think we all understand the way you're feeling.

I really am trying to find acceptance with 'being done' and I honestly find the phase of the menstrual cycle a boring topic, at least at this point.

LOL - I have ALWAYS found the phase of the menstrual cycle to be a boring topic!


And as for "What to Expect..." I just learned this morning that one of the actresses, Elizabeth Banks, suffered from infertility! She and her husband tried for 9 years and finally had a baby via gestational carrier! I LOVE her for being open about it!!!

 

[LLbean]

Brave, you won't be able to spot me...I did because I knew where I was but only for a split second because of my big aqua backpack lol

I can tell you of other movies you can see me for sure as I had speaking parts...but may not be to your liking ;-)

 

[Jennifer01]

I saw it in the theatre, balled my eyes out during the adoption scene, was actually quite embarrassing

 

[LLbean]

yup me too...and so did my hubby LOL

 

[Bravemom]

Brave, you won't be able to spot me...I did because I knew where I was but only for a split second because of my big aqua backpack lol

I can tell you of other movies you can see me for sure as I had speaking parts...but may not be to your liking ;-)

Thanks so much I loved them all

 

[LLbean]

Lol my pleasure the full feature you can see me more but that is what I could show you online

 

[HappyAuntie]

Ah, pregnancy announcements.... One of my BFFs pm'd me last week to say she was pregnant. I felt completely sucker-punched because I never in a million years expected it from her - she has two kids - a boy, 7, and a girl, 5 - and I had assumed they were done. She's in my inner circle - knows everything about our losses/IF/treatments. She had been fretting for weeks about how to tell me, what to say, etc. I cried for about a day and a half. When I replied I thanked her for emailing the news - that's always the easiest for me because, like Ready said, I need time to deal with my own messy emotions before I can be gracious about it... telling me in person or on the phone always feels awkward for both me and the pregnant friend, because I'm trying to choke back tears and pretend I'm over the moon, and it's totally obvious to the friend that I'm faking it. Anyway, as I wrote this friend back the more appreciative I became of the care and sensitivity she'd shown toward me, and I really just wanted to see her and hug her and cry with her... so we met up for lunch a few days later and both had a good cry and we talked for about 3 hours before she had to leave to get home before her kids got off the bus. I'm really glad we talked, and I'm incredibly grateful for the way she handled it... and I'm still anxious as hell about how the next 6 months are going to go - I get together with a group of girlfriends, including her, about once/month for dinner, and it's just going to be awkward for everyone - for her, for me, for everyone at the table wanting to find out how her pregnancy is going and how my infertility is going....

As for when to announce a pregnancy, though, I think the 'right' time is up to the couple and whenever they feel comfortable... and there's no such thing as a magical point after which nothing bad happens. In my experience we've done a little bit of everything - we've told everyone early, we've kept it to ourselves entirely, we've shared with family only... what I've learned is that for me, announcing I was pregnant in the same breath with "but we lost the baby" is one of the worst feelings in the world. People have a hard time supporting you in your grief when they didn't ever know there was anything to be excited about in the first place.

 

[HappyAuntie]

And AFM, my cycle is going really well (physically) - thanks for asking! Today is stim day 11, and as of yesterday I had 20 follies! They range in size from 17-6, so clearly not all of them are going to be useful, but it's almost double the number I had on my first two cycles so I'm excited about that. I go back for another check tomorrow and will trigger some time in the next couple days.

Emotionally, I am working hard to hang on to any shred of sanity I have left. The cycle is going well but every ounce of my experience tells me that it's all for nothing anyway. And this is a much longer protocol than I've been on in the past (I've been in cycle since 8/23!) and that's been a lot harder to deal with than I'd anticipated. So that's why I haven't been around much lately... I've been sticking to my journal for the most part, just trying to get through this....