The One Year Strong Ladies!

[DaretoDream]

Hey ladies just letting you know i have my scan tomorrow and we'll find out the team!!!

 

[HappiestMom]

Ok...just woke up from my nap..and my pet peeve for the day is....all these ladies that insist on going to every thread about "bumps" and informing everyone that there is no way you can have a bump in the first tri...I mean..could you be any more of a debbie downer..yes..all us first tri women are aware that our "bumps" are more than likely just bloat or already there flubber being pushed out by bloat..but still..a bump is a bump...eventually your bloat bump will be replaced with the actual baby bump...and if either bump makes you look or feel preggie..and makes you feel better knowing that you have one..why does it matter and why do these debbie downers insist on posting that on every single bump thread...if you dont have something positive and encouraging to say about someones bump post...because more than likely it wasnt put on here to get bad stuff...then dont say anything at all...let everyone have their moment...geezzz!!

ok....got that off my chest...Dare.....I am def feeling girl for you...so my vote is girl....will they do a 3D scan to like..make extra sure lol....

 

[Isabel209]

has anyone tried pregnyl injections?

 

[HappiestMom]

nope never heard if it hun....

 

[sparklebunny]

Good luck Dare!!! Hmmm..I'm thinking girl!!

 

[wannabeprego]

Haha, just saw my last post... dont know how my phone changed your name to Reive
Isnt it annoying listening to OH snoring away! Especially when you cant get back to sleep... I get jealous at DFs ability to sleep through everything lol
Apart from feeling sicky, how've you been with symptoms so far?

I know, 12 days eeeeekkkk... I'm going naturally, hopefully... They don't discuss induction here until you're over 40 weeks. My next midwife appointment is at 40+5, so I'd probably be induced at 42 weeks if he's not here by then. He'd better be though, I don't wanna wait another 4 weeks!!

Good luck Cottleston!!! I am sure you are more than ready for Toby to make his apperance into the world, I can imagine how uncomfrtable it must be when you are full term and you are carrying the extra weight around...Come on Toby!!! Make your apperance soon!!! Goooo Toby!!!! LOL!!! Us girls will cheer him on for you!!! I am sure that everything will be alright hun... He will be here before you know it...

 

[wannabeprego]

Hey ladies just letting you know i have my scan tomorrow and we'll find out the team!!!

Ohhh. how exciting!!!! I am so happy for you hun!!! Please keep us updated when you find out the sex!!

 

[CottlestonPie]

Good luck dare!! Xx

Erica... Bloat shmoat... A bumps a bump! And tours is growing nicely!

So today i learnt that I am now too big and round and whatever to get out of the bath.
I also learnt that my father is an attention seeking drunk. I haven't seen him since I was 14 (I turn 27 next week), because... Well, long story but we had a heated argument and haven't seen each other since. Now he knows he's got a grandson on the way, he keeps texting me (he got my number off my sister as they still see each other every week or so)... But he'll only ever text when he's drunk and feeling sorry for himself, trying to make me feel guilty that I might not want him to see his grandchild or whatever. I put on a brave face to everyone because I dont want people knowing that it's eating me up inside. I mean, Toby is his grandson. Flesh and blood. But I don't want to start seeing my father again. He hasn't been there for me. And I don't want Toby to start feeling the disappointment that I did when I was young... The waiting by the door only for nobody to turn up, the broken promises and heartache. He's started doing it to my nephew now. He's 3 years old and it breaks my heart to see him cry so much when Grandad Pete doesnt turn up.
But at the same time... Does my dad have a right to see Toby? Or did he throw that away when he said he never wanted to see me? Am i being just as spiteful keeping him away?
Sigh.
Sorry ladies. Went off on one... Didn't mean for it to turn into a "woe is me" type essay!! Just dont really know what to do.

 

[wannabeprego]

Ok...just woke up from my nap..and my pet peeve for the day is....all these ladies that insist on going to every thread about "bumps" and informing everyone that there is no way you can have a bump in the first tri...I mean..could you be any more of a debbie downer..yes..all us first tri women are aware that our "bumps" are more than likely just bloat or already there flubber being pushed out by bloat..but still..a bump is a bump...eventually your bloat bump will be replaced with the actual baby bump...and if either bump makes you look or feel preggie..and makes you feel better knowing that you have one..why does it matter and why do these debbie downers insist on posting that on every single bump thread...if you dont have something positive and encouraging to say about someones bump post...because more than likely it wasnt put on here to get bad stuff...then dont say anything at all...let everyone have their moment...geezzz!!

@Mrsjerome, I go on first tri threads alot and ask the ladies on there questions and stuff, and I always see people debating about how early you show, and bump vrs. bloat and all of that, and I have to agree with you, they take it way to seriously, i mean it is not that serious, like you said just let the person enjoy their pregnancy without all of the crticism...

 

[CottlestonPie]

Good luck Cottleston!!! I am sure you are more than ready for Toby to make his apperance into the world, I can imagine how uncomfrtable it must be when you are full term and you are carrying the extra weight around...Come on Toby!!! Make your apperance soon!!! Goooo Toby!!!! LOL!!! Us girls will cheer him on for you!!! I am sure that everything will be alright hun... He will be here before you know it...

Thanks! love the cheer!!! Now if only he'd listen!!
I'm sooo ready for him now. I'm getting too uncomfortable even for nesting. I'm taking evening primrose oil loads to help my cervix soften up to try and encourage him so here's hoping!! (You ever used that stuff?? Holy hell I've never seen so much CM in my life!! lol)

 

[wannabeprego]

Good luck dare!! Xx

Erica... Bloat shmoat... A bumps a bump! And tours is growing nicely!

So today i learnt that I am now too big and round and whatever to get out of the bath.
I also learnt that my father is an attention seeking drunk. I haven't seen him since I was 14 (I turn 27 next week), because... Well, long story but we had a heated argument and haven't seen each other since. Now he knows he's got a grandson on the way, he keeps texting me (he got my number off my sister as they still see each other every week or so)... But he'll only ever text when he's drunk and feeling sorry for himself, trying to make me feel guilty that I might not want him to see his grandchild or whatever. I put on a brave face to everyone because I dont want people knowing that it's eating me up inside. I mean, Toby is his grandson. Flesh and blood. But I don't want to start seeing my father again. He hasn't been there for me. And I don't want Toby to start feeling the disappointment that I did when I was young... The waiting by the door only for nobody to turn up, the broken promises and heartache. He's started doing it to my nephew now. He's 3 years old and it breaks my heart to see him cry so much when Grandad Pete doesnt turn up.
But at the same time... Does my dad have a right to see Toby? Or did he throw that away when he said he never wanted to see me? Am i being just as spiteful keeping him away?
Sigh.
Sorry ladies. Went off on one... Didn't mean for it to turn into a "woe is me" type essay!! Just dont really know what to do.

I can tell you my opinion but ultimatley it is up to you to decide what is best for you in this situation hun. I have a couple of questions...

Is he still a drunk? If the answer is yes, than that in intself would make me advise against letting him see his grandchild, people with an addiction are very selfish and only think of themselves and how to get their next drink, they dont care who they hurt along the way...

Second, it concerns me that he is repeating the same pattern that he did with you when you were growing up as a kid, now with your nephew, by disappointing him by not following through with his promises to see him..etc...I can only imagine the pattern repeating with him doing the same thing to you son if he hasnt changed all of these years later....

Another question, Has he changed, or is he still the same man you knew as a child...

I dont know what you guys argued about when you stopped talking before but I do think it is important to forgive so you dont carry the bitterness and anger around with you because anger can eat you up inside, but I know you wont ever forget, but you wont be doing it for him, more so for yourself so you can try to move on within yourself....

Is your life of better quality without your father in it?

Are you prepared to let him back in and face the possible consequences of how he might act??????

I just wanted to make you consider a couple of different things. I think ultimatley you should listen to your instincts and do what is best for your son, It sounds like you have been getting along just fine without him in your life up to now????

 

[HappiestMom]

cottleston...no idea hun...it really is your decision in the end..what has hubby said about it though? is he against it..I mean..will letting him see Toby cause problems between you and hubby? because that would be a big consideration for me... overall you have to do what you think is best for Toby and you guys...and you know..you might not have to make the big decision until later on....Toby might be the kind of kid that just...blows it off and doesnt fret over it...if you just make it a surprise when Papaw (its a southern thing lol..) visits he cant get hurt from him not showing up...let him know that grandpa cant be around all the time and that its a treat when he does see him....when Toby is a baby I mean that would be the best trial period to see how your dad acts and if he only comes around to make you feel bad or get something off of you..even if it is just sympathy for whatever then that will help you make the final decision... he might really want to change but then again it might just be attn seeking like you said and he thinks this is his way in.....not sure if that helped at all..I have a very complicated family too so I know its hard to please everyone but you overall have to keep your and your kids best interest even if you hurt a few feelings in the process (now all of you remind me of this when Im bitching about MIL in 7 months lol..)

bout to head out to eat with hubby for a free japanese buffet dinner..we have to listen to some dr talk about headache relief for 15 mins and then they leave and we get to eat..woo hoo...we have been wanting to try this place..its a superbuffet 250+ items and hibachi too so a free pass is a great way I figure..if its not good it was only one night wasted..and its also right beside babys r us lol..so maybe I can con hubby into going there too not to buy but just to look and maybe make sure the stuff I have picked out is what I really want..yay!! will be back later tonight....

oh and Wannabe..no peeing on sticks!!!..not sticks from the yard..not popsicle sticks...not hockey sticks..and def not HPT sticks!!! lol.... ok now Im laughing and it hurts lol....bye for now ladies lol...

 

[wannabeprego]

oh and Wannabe..no peeing on sticks!!!..not sticks from the yard..not popsicle sticks...not hockey sticks..and def not HPT sticks!!! lol.... ok now Im laughing and it hurts lol....bye for now ladies lol...

I hope you and DH enjoy your dinner, and the fact that it is free makes it even better, LOL!!!

Its tuff to resist giving into my POAS addiction.... I have a confession that I did use a few of my internet cheapy test strips already...and of course nothing hapened with those.... Ugghhhh....I am trying to be strong and be patient but that is easier said than done i think.....LOL.....

 

[HappiestMom]

no free dinner..hubby just got home so we wont be able to make it on time and so he said we shouldnt even bother going....so now Im on the couch crying and hes yelling at me about jobs and and how I dont have one and all that shit..uggh..

 

[wannabeprego]

no free dinner..hubby just got home so we wont be able to make it on time and so he said we shouldnt even bother going....so now Im on the couch crying and hes yelling at me about jobs and and how I dont have one and all that shit..uggh..

Aww, I am so sorry that you and DH are arguing and that you are upset now..... In your defense, It is hard finding a job right now, and being pregnant only complicates it even more, especially when you are getting MS and everything........

 

[CottlestonPie]

Is he still a drunk?
He's not an alcoholic. I mean he's never been drunk around my sister or nephew... He's just a sad old man with nothing to do apart from drink himself to sleep in the evenings because he's lost pretty much everyone. He's not easy to get along with.

I can only imagine the pattern repeating with him doing the same thing to you son if he hasnt changed all of these years later....
That's what concerns me. I don't want my family to be treated the same way I was. I'd feel partly responsible for letting it happen and I know how much it hurts.

Another question, Has he changed, or is he still the same man you knew as a child...
I can only go by what my sister says. It seems he's still the same. If not worse. He employed my brother in law then never paid him, leaving my BIL, sister and nephew struggling to get by. I had to buy them bread and butter last week because of it, just so my nephew could eat for the week.

Is your life of better quality without your father in it?
There's less hassle that's for sure! I've forgiven him for what he did to me but still resent him for hurting my mum and find it hard to let it slide when he still hurts my sister. Ach. I dunno. It'd break my heart to see him hurt Toby, because I know that he will. As soon as he's old enough to understand that gramps didn't show up, it'll be disappointment all over again. I'm not sure if I'm prepared to sugarcoat it and make up excuses for my no good dad.

And despite all this, he's so good at manipulating and laying the guilt trip on so thickly that I know I'm going to feel rotten not letting him have a chance with his grandson.

Pfff family are a pain!!! Sorry again... But thank you Hun. I really am gonna need to think long and hard xx

 

[DaretoDream]

got that off my chest...Dare.....I am def feeling girl for you...so my vote is girl....will they do a 3D scan to like..make extra sure lol....

No i don't like the 3d scans- they freak me out to be honest. I want to keep SOMETHING a surprise for the end. So, we just want the sex - normally. I don't want 3d scans. Its creepy looking!! But a lot of ladies love them, just not for me!

 

[wannabeprego]

Is he still a drunk?
He's not an alcoholic. I mean he's never been drunk around my sister or nephew... He's just a sad old man with nothing to do apart from drink himself to sleep in the evenings because he's lost pretty much everyone. He's not easy to get along with.

I can only imagine the pattern repeating with him doing the same thing to you son if he hasnt changed all of these years later....
That's what concerns me. I don't want my family to be treated the same way I was. I'd feel partly responsible for letting it happen and I know how much it hurts.

Another question, Has he changed, or is he still the same man you knew as a child...
I can only go by what my sister says. It seems he's still the same. If not worse. He employed my brother in law then never paid him, leaving my BIL, sister and nephew struggling to get by. I had to buy them bread and butter last week because of it, just so my nephew could eat for the week.

Is your life of better quality without your father in it?
There's less hassle that's for sure! I've forgiven him for what he did to me but still resent him for hurting my mum and find it hard to let it slide when he still hurts my sister. Ach. I dunno. It'd break my heart to see him hurt Toby, because I know that he will. As soon as he's old enough to understand that gramps didn't show up, it'll be disappointment all over again. I'm not sure if I'm prepared to sugarcoat it and make up excuses for my no good dad.

And despite all this, he's so good at manipulating and laying the guilt trip on so thickly that I know I'm going to feel rotten not letting him have a chance with his grandson.

Pfff family are a pain!!! Sorry again... But thank you Hun. I really am gonna need to think long and hard xx

Your Welcome, I wish you all the best with whatever decision you make.

But to be honest with you, so far you have only said negative things about him, and you havent said any positive reason why you should allow him back into your life, and it sounds like he is just continuing to hurt you and your siblings...I dont want him manipulating you when you are emotional, vulnerable, hormonal and pregnant.... There is no rush to make a decision right now even though your baby is coming any day now, take your time, i just dont want to see you get hurt again by him hun, maybe wait to make a decision until things calm down, and until after the baby comes and you can see things clear without all of the pregnancy hormones and everything....

 

[HappiestMom]

ended up taking me to mexican...and then to home depot to look around (I chatted with my stepmom on the phone while he looked lol) and then we went to sonic and he got me a big route 44 grape slush...so things are a bit better now..he still keeps pushing the job thing and I just dont know what to tell him..Ive applied for a few nanny/babysitter jobs but then everyone says oh well we are looking for someone long term not someone we are gonna have to replace in a few months..and hubby was like just dont say anything and then quit..well..Im starting to "show" already so they will know and they will realize that Im not gonna be working for them for the next year lol...and also that just ruins my chance of getting references which I desperately need if I ever plan on having a "real" job....so now im trying to think of other things I can do where they dont want someone so long term... maybe cooking for people...but that will have to be after I get over the MS lol..lol..organizing for people is also another one....house cleaning I dont want to get into because that wont last for too long and I dont want to be around chemicals and having to lift stuff and all that...so I guess I'll post an ad offering to organize or make dinners that can be reheated for the professional families around here or for families that have newborns or something..

 

[CottlestonPie]

Thanks for all the advice last night ladies
It's hard to try and put a positive spin on someone who has done nothing but let your family down since you were a kid.
I talked to hubby last night about it. He's being really supportive in letting me make the decisions with my dad as they've never actually met (met hubby at 16 but stopped seeing dad at 14ish). Although hubby has seen the effect it's had on me over the years (I rebelled quite badly because of it) he knows I'm a stronger person now and might be able to handle the rejection better if it happens a 2nd time.
I think I've decided to ignore dad for a bit. See what happens when Toby is born and I'm used to being a mum. I've got so much more to be thinking about without the extra worry of family issues rearing their ugly heads and I might need to try and explain that to him at some point. It's added stress and worry that I really don't need right now.

Erica, good luck on the job search. Really though, this is when you should be taking it easy. I know you're sensible and won't go for anything that will put you or baby at risk but please be careful.... Hormones are bad enough at the best of times without the stress of a new job! I hope you find something short term that suits you and bubba xx