The Over 35 Newbies and not so's :)

[ChelliBelle]

Hi Ladies, sorry I've not had chance to really post on here.

Star, I was following what was happening on FB, but you must have been terrified , I am so glad Logan is doing well, I've just seen the new pics you have posted and he looks bright eyed and smiley!
It's true what you say tho, I think you need to follow your instincts, despite how crazy they may seem to others- better safe than sorry.

Everything- lol@swearing- oops, i'm forever telling my mum off now for swearing- she swears like a navvy!!
I've been worrying a bit with breastfeeding and how much Millie was getting, but she is putting weight on fine I think, and will be weighed again next week, but she appears heavier and chubbier.
That's the concern with BF- but ive read that they can gain slower? but perfectly healthy anyway.
I can't believe that dex is in his own room already- time flies- how is he doing?

Captain- I've been following your other post- so sorry it hasn't happened this time- ive got my fingers crossed that it is more successful next time and you get the BFP xxxx

Well ladies, Millie hasn't quite given me that smile yet- tho there have been signs of it coming- HOWEVER, I hate to say this but I have a whingy daughter lol- she wants to be held ALL the time, and when she is not she gets whingy after about 10 mins of being on her mat or chair.
I had been really paranoid that she wasn't getting enough food from me initially, as she appeared to root just after feeding, but when I put her on she wouldn't feed and just use me as a dummy! I think she just needs to have the comfort of having mummy close, but it can be exhausting to have to keep putting her on and off the breast to make sure that she is not hungry, and then distracting her when it is just comfort she wants.
I know they say to keep them on, but I wouldn't be able to go to the toilet if I didn't distract her lol, this is only when she is not actively feeding.
I do hope it settles tho :/

also, I am struggling to get her to sleep in her crib- I have to cradle her til she is asleep (sound asleep) and then slowly move her- or she will wake straight away and scream and screeeeam! I am the only one she will sleep when holding. I don't mind this during the day but I am getting really tired during the night as it can take me over 2 hours once she has fed to get her in the crib! Not helped when she is happy to sleep on me and I have to stay awake! Most times I put her down she wakes.
I have to admit to taking her into bed while the OH is away to get some rest but I don't actually sleep- it is a king size bed and I have read a lot on co sleeping to make it safe but I really don't want to get into doing that.

do you have any advice on how to get her use to not being held and to sleep in her crib? a=or am I expecting too much from a 4 week old?? lol

I should point out that she is just wonderful, adorable and delightful, but I just want her to be a little less clingy to mummy lol
and as I write this she is fast asleep in her crib- but I had to cradle her for an hour to get her into it
I sound like a right bag :/

 

[starlight2801]

Everything at Fin.

Maia is becoming a bit of a parrot too. Bless her it seems that all of a sudden she doesn't stop talking. Her favourite line of the moment is 'no mommy, I do it myself', lol.

I think you're right that Dex is getting plenty of milk. Logan has been feeding with the frequency of a newborn since we got out of hospital. At first it figures that he was making up for lost calories when he was sick but now he clearly doesn't need to do it anymore as he's vomiting like you wouldn't believe. He's even been vomitting part way through a feed while still on the boob which is a bit yucky. I hope settles down again soon.

How's he doing in his own room now?

Chelli its really normal to worry about how much milk your LO is getting to begin with but you so become more confident as they grow. Our HV team say they don't put too much emphasis on weight gain for BF babies, more that they are happy and healthy with plenty of wet nappies

As for your sleep question I'm afraid I don't have the answer. Tough as it is its pretty normal for young babies to cling to their momma's. With Maia I spent the first three months cuddling her all day everyday but with Logan it isn't so easy with having a toddlers needs to attend to. I still cuddle him lots but find myself also moving him from crib to play gym to bouncy chair every 10 mins to try and keep him distracted while I do things with Maia. I also wear him a fair bit which keeps him close to me but frees up my arms to do other stuff. Have you tried a sling/wrap? They are honestly a god send.

How is Millie at night? I've always been lucky that Maia and Logan were/are big fuss pots in the day and v difficult to put down but at night go down in their own bed no problem. Its a good idea to make day and night different right from an early age. Keep nights dark and quiet and when Millie wakes for a feed resist the temptation to play with her. Just feed her and put her down.

Most important thing to me is you can't spoil a baby with too many cuddles. By giving Millie the cuddles she needs she'll become more confident to let you put her down a bit more.

Maia gradually started wanting to be held less but I can't remember at what point. I didn't do anything special, she just stopped needing it as much. Its tough if she's the same 24/7 though as we all need a bit of sleep. She's still v young though and in sure she'll get used to night and day.

Hope this helps a bit x

PS I've resisted dabbling with Candy Crush. Song Pop is my addiction. Normally the kids kick off when I try to play (not good when the object is to guess music clips) but can't resist!

 

[ChelliBelle]

Thanks star, I think I was having a bit of a crabby day with lack of sleep when I last posted lol. She had a pretty bad day and night and I was just so exhausted!

She has been better the last couple of days, and last night was much better. I have been cuddling her until she sleeps, and then I can put her in her crib, I just can't bear to hear her scream. I hold her when she wants, and she spent 15mins on her mat today before letting me know she had enough.

it's all a learning curb isn't it- while dealing with sleep deprivation lol

I think i'm just getting a stressed with comments off everyone, they keep telling me not to over hold her, not to nurse her to sleep, or I will suffer in the long run and have a needy child and it got to me thinking I was going to have her attached to my hip until she was 18 lol...

But I took a deep breath, stopped listening to everyone and their well meaning advice and actually just by giving my little bird what she wants at the min helped settle her and me!

I just need to stop listening to everyone telling me that because Millie wants to be with her mummy all the time its a bad thing!

anyway, how is Logan doing? has he fully recovered?

 

[EverythingXd]

He's doing well in his room Star, it's pretty much the same as when he was in the Moses basket in terms of sleep and often only wakes once between 7pm and 7am. The last few days he is waking at about 6am for a 2nd feed and then going back to sleep until 8.30am... so I've had 2 lie-ins cos hubby has got up with Fin!

Chelli - it's good to hear you're going to stop listening to people telling you what you should be doing!! Millie is your baby, do what feels right for you and your family... if you want to hold her all day, do it... if you want to get her self-settling, do that. There are no right and wrong answers. Advice can be great, particularly when you ask for it but no-one else has your baby and no-one else is you, so no-one can possibly know what is best for your family. My advice is to deal with issues only if and when they arise, because often they end up not arising - babies change themselves so fast (but you've probably gathered I'm not a planner! Even that nugget of advice might not be good advice for someone who likes to plan!).

Personally, I fed Fin to sleep right up until he was 16 months when I stopped BFing. I was worried he wouldn't settle without a feed because that's what people say, but it was honestly no problem at all. I'm so glad I didn't bother going through the effort of weaning him off the habit at say 9 months old, because I would have missed out on so many more sleepy booby cuddles

 

[captainj1]

2 suggestions from me Chelli - swaddle and dummy. I was so anti dummies before DS but he was very sucky. The swaddle was the only way he would sleep on his own. As for everything else, my own view was that I would go to him when he needed me for as long as that was. He grew out of most things quite naturally. For him his teeth really affected his sleep. He was waking in the night for comfort milk until the last one popped thru at 18 months and then he slept thru literally overnight. So I know he was in pain and not just playing me as the HV suggested. Might be different if I have another as you can't split yourself in two but while you have one, make sure you do what is least stressful for everyone, and only you can decide what that is. My HV told us to let joey cry and in one tired state we tried it once. After 90 minutes and two vomits he was still going strong and I caved in and cuddled him. I never tried it again. He is one persistent little chap and sitting by his cot listening to him scream was no fun for either of us.

Good luck xxx