The scariest trimester?

[ellie]

I really thought 1st was the scariest (having had a previous mc in 1st tri and spending the whole of it being paranoid), having relaxed a bit in 2nd, I thought i would be well chilled in 3rd! But nooooo.... I can't stop worrying again. I was awake half the night almost panicking because I thought LO hadn't been moving much for days ... despite him/her wiggling and moving at the time, it still didn't feel 'enough' to me I burst into tears whilst out the other day because I had convinced myself there had been no movement all day .... as soon as I lay down, there was some, but I was still upset ....

Half the problem is I'm really not sure what I'm supposed to expect at this stage! not sure if i'm reading it wrongly, but it seems like everyone else is getting constant strong kicks and movements and I'm not I got checked about 2 weeks ago for this very thing and all was fine! I've even gone back to using my doppler and obsessively counting heartbeats, drinking cold stuff (which I don't usually) to try and make him/her move more. I'm kind of 'well padded' as well and my bump often goes soft, which makes me worry even more, but I think there might be more room for LO to swim towards the back (I hope so anyway )

I know the worry isn't good ... I'm seeing my MW on Thursday, I guess I should talk to her about it then, but last time she was rushing me through and wasn't really interested

Arrrgh ....... why can't I relax ??? I'm not at all worried about the birth ... I'm just terrified of something going wrong now and that I should do something about it. But I can't live by constantly ringing people and insisting on scans/checks every week, can I?

Sorry to whinge on .... just needed to let it out and maybe after a bit of reassurance ...

 

[sparkle_1979]

I could have written your exact post as also had previous m/c's and am bak to the stage of worrying constantly about every cramp. If I dont feel the baby for 30 mins I think the worst. No advise Im afraid hun as Im just the same, but at least we are not alone in feeling like this. xx

 

[Scally]

Same here, no advice but know how u feel, i have gone back to using my doppler too, and worry each time Flump goes quiet. Do talk to your MW about your concerns they may be able to help x

 

[jennie_78]

Im definatly finding the 3rd tri scary, i dont feel lots of strong kicks, more squirming and little kicks. I was worried, but after seeing my consultant last week he told me that once i had felt the baby move or kick 10 times duing a day i could stop worrying.

Sorry i havent got any advice to help you feel better, i guess its normal to get scared the closer it gets.

 

[loulabell84]

i have felt exactly the same in fact reading your post was like reading my thoughts.

i have been starting to feel better the last few days but i still worry like hell. i think this is very normal to feel this way. we wouldn't be human if we didn't worry.

make your midwife listen to your anxiety and try to relax as hard as it seems.

take care hun and try to enjoy being pregnant ( i wish i could take my own advise ) lol

 

[Rebaby]

I sympathise hun i think i'm getting like this too. After our 'scare' a couple of weeks ago i am now hyper-aware of when LO is moving and when he/she isn't, and if it feels like it has been a quiet day i can't just wait for him/her to wake up and start kicking, i have to DO something about it, like you say, having a drink or lying down on my side (that seems to be the number 1 trick at the minute!)

I think to a certain extent it is natural, as here we are, on the home stretch, we've cooked our babies for this long, and the fear of something going wrong at this late stage is hard to ignore. But at the same time, some other mum's-to-be don't seem as nervous about it all, so maybe it's not normal after all and i'm just trying to make myself feel better?!

A lot of people have the mindset that if everything has been ok up to now then of course everything is going to be fine, and don't even consider the alternatives, and in a way i'd love to be like that, all calm and worry free and not so negative...

...but in another way, being a natural worrier, and having had a miscarriage previously, i think makes me extra grateful for how well things have gone so far (iykwim?) and there isn't a day that goes by where i am not overwhelmed (in a good way ) by the fact i'm here in 3rd trimester and about to have a baby!

I know there's no sense in telling you "don't worry" but there are a few of us feeling the same, so at least be reassured you're not alone, and if using your doppler makes you feel good then just do it. We were recently bought one but i have to say i've only used it twice, the first time we found the heartbeat right away and it was lovely (OH's mum who bought us got to listen in and she loved it!) but the second time i tried to use it, when LO had 'gone quiet' all i could get was my heartbeat and OH tried and still couldn't find anything and it was making me really panicky and upset so we stopped and i haven't had it out of the box since

 

[chrissie33]

I know you mean honey, I go between being really neurotic if I have not felt the baby move for a few hours and being really uncomfortable when the baby gets into an awkward position. I do think it is natural to be worried, especially given the issue you had in the past - I have been the same through my pg and DH just laughs at me and says, baby is fine, stop worrying - yeah of course, it is that easy! My new worry is that I have stopped gaining weight (I know I shouldnt moan!!) but I now worry baby is not growing. I asked mw about it last week and she said that weight fluctuates day to day and fundal height is normal so not to worry - if only it were that easy!!

Did the mw indicate the position of your baby? It might be that the baby is kicking more to your back so you wont feel so much. Or is your placenta close to the front? Could this be reducing the feeling of movement?