Aw Wildeone, that sounds horrible, sorry you had to go through that with your previous pregnancies
Hope it isn't a sign of it starting again for you & just a coincidence.
If you don't get your bfp this month then it's totally up to you if you carry on & take risk or stop. But would you feel happy if you stopped? You've already taken the biggest step already by starting to try. Sometimes to get to the other side we have to swim through a river of shit. But it all depends how bad we want to get to other side. Is it worth swimming through shit... Is it worth going through those struggles to make a new life? Only you can answer that question.
& you're not being selfish at all.