The Tucker's Adoption Journey

[dreamofabean]

Hi all
Well we are home 😍 Can't quite believe the day is here! We are a family of 4!
The past week has been tough! Our boiler has broken so we've had no hot water or heating and E has tonsillitis, all on top of introductions! We've dragged our way through it all though!
Little miss P is a little diamond! She's so inquisitive and clever and has real character! She certainly puts her brother in his place!
Looking forward to a few low key days now before E returns to nursery and family start to meet little lady x

 

[missk1989]

Yey! I have been waiting for your update with anticipation.
So glad she is home even if the week has been tough.

Enjoy your time as a family of 4! All I can say is I am shattered!!

 

[missk1989]

How is it going so far bean?

 

[dreamofabean]

Hi all
All is going ok! I feel slightly like I've been ran over!
E is gradually bouncing back from his tonsillitis but it's been a long haul bless him! Little lady added to our stress this week by coming out in hives on 4 occasions over 36 hours! I think it could be her bubble bath that was triggering it but not sure. I also think the stress of the move has played a factor.
We are slowly finding our feet and getting used to life as a four. E loves his sister but can be very heavy handed with her! She is a little diva who keeps us on our feet constantly! Lol. She was incredibly spoilt by her foster carers so we are having to lay down some firm boundaries and she is fighting and pushing them all! Ha ha. She's a real sweetie though and as bright as a button!
Hope everyone is ok xx

 

[Axl2]

Congrats!!

 

[Srbjbex]

great to hear you're settling in - sounds like chaos, just how it should be!! Keep us updated when you get a chance!

Well we have completed our main homestudy sessions - just one more visit for SW to chat to DS - she is aiming to have our report written this side of Christmas, if not first week of Jan. Panel 'booked' for 6th February. That's happened at lightning speed! I think January will drag - it does generally anyway, but knowing we have panel in Feb will make it even worse!

 

[missk1989]

How is everyone doing?

Things are settling well here and we are super excited for xmas!

 

[dreamofabean]

Hi all
Glad things are settling well missk!
In all honesty, things my end have been tough! E has regressed a lot over the past couple of weeks and we've had to deal with lots of negative behaviours. He and his sister are very much determining their pecking order so there is lots of bickering and fighting going on... constantly! Ha ha.
Little miss is settling very well, her sleep is slowly improving too. She has always cried out in her sleep and has night terrors so we've had lots of sleepless nights and I think this had a huge knock on effect with E bless him. It seems to be settling though so fingers crossed!
I wasn't going into the second adoption naively and expected problems but I honestly did not expect to feel as exhausted as I have been!! It's been incredibly draining!

So looking forward to hubby finishing work today so we can really get into the Christmas spirit! Xx

 

[Axl2]

Happy New Year everyone!! So our sw let us know that we are 146 on the waiting list there are 29 families ahead of us that are on hold, matched or recently placed so our active number is 117. I'm a little frustrated I thought we would be further down the waiting list. And I'm frustrated with the agency they really don't give updates and for the amount money that we have paid there should be more communication. I'm trying to be positive about the whole adoption process but its hard sometimes.

 

[missk1989]

HI Axl,
Sorry to hear it is slow moving. I take it you are not in the UK?

 

[Axl2]

No I'm in Canada. Even said to the sw that it doesn't feel like we have moved at all and no response. It's like they get your money and they don't care anymore. I'm so frustrated! And then I misplaced our homestudy report. So not having a good week.

 

[Axl2]

So I emailed the receptionist at the adoption agency to find out if our profile has been shown it hasn't which doesn't surprise me. We have moved to more spots so we are now 115 I feel a lot more positive this week than last week. The joys of the adoption roller coaster.

 

[missk1989]

I would be tempted to ring them every week until they get fed up and put you at the top

 

[Axl2]

Yeah I wish it would work that way. They show the couples who have been the list the longest.

 

[Srbjbex]

Hi everyone! I've not posted in a while, not much to report really! We did have panel lined up for 6th Feb, but we have unfortunately been pushed back to 27th Feb (due to matches taking priority).

Frustrating, but really in the big scheme of things not too much longer. But all assessments are completed so nothing to do at our end other than wait. We have been told though that because our panel date has been moved back once, then we definitely wont be moved again as their policy is to only push back once, so at least we know for sure now!

I'm so rubbish at waiting though!! haha!

 

[Axl2]

Its right around the corner. Super excited for you!!

 

[dreamofabean]

Hi all, hope everyone is well!
Things are ok here. I'm not going to lie, the past 3 months have been super tough!
E has struggled with the addition of his sister to our family. She is a bolshy little madam to put it lightly and it's taken a lot of adapting for him bless him! He adores her, but they clash a lot and he can be rough so we can't just leave them alone together for long!!
He regressed a lot so it was tough initially having 2 kids who were emotionally 18m!
Little lady has settled well, she is such a funny little sausage. She is extremely busy and I'm sure she is half monkey the way she climbs
The only issue we have is sleep! She cries in her sleep a lot! We've had one night sleeping through in 3 months! Some nights it's every half hour she is waking us screaming. So we are exhausted to put it lightly!
We're slowly getting used to our new routines though and finding our feet as a family of four.
E is slowly coming back to his pre P self and we finally feel like we're getting our boy back.

 

[Axl2]

I think that's normal. And I think the sleep thing will eventually get better. Do you know anything about her past?

We are still waiting to be placed our update is in April. I asked the agency if our profile has been shown yet and it has not. And yesterday I was let go from my job which sucks, but I'm gonna take some time off and finish my school! Everything happens for a reason!

 

[Srbjbex]

Hi everyone.

dream - I think what you describes sounds perfectly normal for adding a sibling into your family! E will be competing for your attention now, so thinking if he acts like a baby then he will do. Sounds to me like you're doing just great although I know it wont feel like that, especially with the lack of sleep!! Hang on in there, you'll come out the other side soon!!

Axl - really sorry to hear about your job! That's rubbish! Hopefully you can use this opportunity to do something different! I don't know if anyone's watching This is Us (I LOVE it!) but there was a bit in the first episode that's really stuck with me when the doctor said 'when life gives you lemon, taken them and make lemonade'.

AFM - we we had our approval panel on Monday and I'm pleased to say we got a unanimous yes! We're over the moon obviously. Now we just have to wait for a match. I was fully geared up to wait a long time, told myself it would be at least months before we hear anything! BUT our SW has got our hopes up a bit and said they (unusually) have loads of babies coming through at the moment!! more babies than prospective couples, and she let slip our profile has only ready gone out once! So now despite telling myself it would be ages, she's gone and got my hopes up!

 

[Axl2]

Hey all so our 1 year update is next month. I have a feeling that the sw won't be on the ball. But I was on adoption agency page and they are talking to 13 birth moms 3 are already matched so hopefully our profile will be shown. I think the frustrating part is I feel like asking questions to our sw like she is annoyed, and has no time for us. But trying to be hopefully I'm trying to make a list of stuff we will need just incase we get a call for an instant placement.