The Tucker's Adoption Journey

[missk1989]

Hi all how we doing? Any closer axle?
We had court today but birth mum contested so we are looking at a few more weeks before it is official.

 

[Axl2]

Hey still waiting. We haven't heard from our social worker to book our appointment for our update. They have placed 10 babies so far this year so hoping we get the call soon.

That is so frustrating that the mom contested. What happens if she contests again?

 

[missk1989]

Mum was given 2 days to submit a statement of why she felt she had made enough changes to look after her etc but hasn't done it. Hopefully this means the order will be granted on the next court date.

I hope you get your match soon.

 

[Axl2]

My fingers are crossed for you!! Hoping everything goes your way!!

I'm so frustrated with our adoption agency. We still haven't heard from them about our update, and I'm stubborn so I'm not calling them. I feel like we have paid them a lot of money and they should have some kind of tracker. But on a positive note my husband bought us a trip to Vegas for our 5th year anniversary. Super excited! I'm making him a sign with our last name and date of our wedding date. Hopefully hes as excited as I am lol.

 

[Axl2]

So the agency finally contacted me today. And now because they took so long to contact us, our schedule won't work with my husband work and our holidays. So I think we will be able to do our update either end of June or in August. I'm hoping that the update goes good I'm having a little anxious. This process has been brutal.

 

[missk1989]

Oh AXl, How disappointing for you.

Our case did not go as expected. We had a new judge and she felt there was something missing. Mum turned up with someone she wanted to present as a potential guardian and said she wants to make another statement. Apparently she had submitted a statement when we were told otherwise by the courts.
The judge deferred the case until July but legal are apparently trying to move it forward.
I went a little crazy and started ranting at the SW when she told me. I was in tears and just couldn't hold back. She tried her best to reassure me but I just couldn't believe it. JULY!! What is the point in all this? She said the plan is still for DD to be with us so I cannot understand the logic of delaying it so much. I have to go back to work in July!

 

[Axl2]

Wow that sucks missk1989. I really hope it goes your way. I hope the judge looks at whats best for the child, and moving the child from your home isn't fair to the child.

So we have our apt booked for end of June then she lets me know that we need to study our homestudy not sure why. If I would have known we needed to jump through some hoops and be treated this way I would never have went down this road first.

Also I'm not to happy with some of the sw comments in the homestudy report. Not sure how that's going to go.

 

[Srbjbex]

Hi all

I know it's been quiet on here on late as life has taken over, but I wanted to share my news that we have been matched with a little girl. All going well, we should be proceeding to panel on 17th July, with intros starting on the 24th. After what feels like a journey that's taken a long time it now seems all very quick which is great!

Hope all is well with everyone else!

 

[dreamofabean]

Ah honey that is amazing news! You must be so excited!
How old is your little lady? X

 

[Srbjbex]

Thank you!

She is 1 in August so about 11m by the time we hopefully get her home!! Will be lovely to have her home for her first birthday

 

[dreamofabean]

Awww that's so lovely! We celebrated e's first birthday 2 months after he came home, was just lovely!
Soooo exciting for you!

 

[missk1989]

All sounds very exciting! We had DD's (and my) birthday 3 days into placement. She and DS are running riot at the moment!

 

[Srbjbex]

I'm so excited - we wrote our responses on the panel paperwork yesterday so really feels real now! So panel in 2 weeks and (assuming all goes well) intros in 3 weeks!

 

[Axl2]

So we had our 1 year update in June. We were told that our profile probably won't be shown until we have been on the list for 2 years. I wish they would be more honest about those things. Our sw told us that it would help if my husband quit smoking so he finally has. Hes on day 9!

 

[Aayla]

Hi everyone. I know it's somewhat quiet here but I would love to come and join. After 7 years we are done trying for a bio child. Adoption was always a part of my family plan.
I am in British Columbia Canada so things are done a bit differently here. We are going through the ministry for the Waiting Child program. We have to go for counselling to deal with the loss of the potential bio child. Which part of me understands but part of me thinks it sucks because it's like they treat adoption as a last resort. But we have an appt for Aug 29 with a therapist who specializes in infertility and adoption.

There is an online profile we have to do before we can apply and so my hubby has to go to a government agent to prove his identity. This way he has access to some of the profiles of the children who are in foster care. I have already done mine. Then our profiles will get linked and we can apply. Which should all happen tomorrow (Aug 22, I am writing this late on Aug 21).

We have a lot to do to prepare our apt for a child. Our roommate just moved out and we have some big furniture we have to get rid of. but nothing that wouldn't take a hard working weekend.

We are looking to adopt a child from newborn (rare) to 10 years old (most common). I'm 39 and hubby is 37. So an older child would work for us. We are also willing to accept siblings.

 

[Axl2]

Hey Aayla, I'm in Alberta my husband and I are adopting through private agency. We have been on the waiting list for a little over a year. Good luck with everything and hopefully the wait isn't long for you!

 

[Aayla]

Thanks! Application is in. All I have to submit is the doctor form, who I am seeing Monday. Then we wait for the invite to the education part. I am hoping it happens soon as the next one is in Oct and they fill up fast and they are 15 weeks long, and then we get to do the home study. I wish they combined the time.

 

[Axl2]

So I'm having an issue with my sw she won't respond to my emails so I have to resend the email. Then she will respond with I must of over looked your email. Like we have paid a lot of money for her not to over look my emails. And its not like I email her a lot. I'm not sure how to address this issue. Any ideas would be great. And the other thing that is frustrating me is when we had our 1 year update she told my husband that we might get placed faster if he quit smoking, and if he quit this summer that by Christmas she would change my husband to non smoker in the spreadsheet. Now shes saying she won't change it until our next update. I find it so annoying that everytime we talk to them they tell us something different. I'm starting to think that we made the wrong move by pursuing adoption.

 

[Aayla]

I don't think you made the wrong choice but just don't have a great social worker. Which does happen. If you are using gmail you can get Contact Monkey on a free trial or it may be worth to pay for it. It shows you if someone has opened your email. I found it useful just for a business purpose. I thought maybe I was suddenly going to spam. Nope. they were opening the emails. Just not responding.

This is usually better than sending a 'read receipt" as the person can say no to that and contact monkey is only on your end. So only you know if you are being lied to.

I do hope it goes better for you! And give a huge congrats to your hubby for quitting. It's not easy and every day is a huge step forward.

 

[Aayla]

AFM: all the documents have been sent in. The last reference was sent in today. By snail mail. ugh. lol So now we wait for the ministry to get that and the other checks to finally go through.

We got some bedroom furniture. a Bunk bed (no mattresses), a dresser, and a desk. We plan on adopting at least one older child but hopefully a sibling pair.

just trying to keep busy while we wait. I am hoping we can get into the education part for October. That's 15 weeks long so the sooner we get in the better. After that is our home study.

all in all we are hoping that by this time next year we will be matched.