'Friend' on Facebook.. Isn't it funny that you only commented on my statuses when you had something to say about my pregnancy/baby, or something sort of 'advice' to shove down my throat? And if you didn't have it or your kid didn't do it, then it MUST be abnormal and I need to follow everything YOU did (even if it's against medical advice) to prevent it from happening again.
It was annoying when you kept commenting "that's a boy/girl-shaped bump.." when i wasn't telling people the sex, like you knew it all. Then why did you keep changing your mind?
So-and-so helped for your morning sickness, so it MUST help for mine. Oh it didn't? Well I must be weird then. And I'm weird because I had hyperemesis gravidarum throughout the entirety of my pregnancy, but you only had it 'til 12 weeks. Well bully for you. Stop acting like if it didn't happen to you then it shouldn't happen to anyone.
Oh apparently I should unplug the phone to avoid cold-callers waking my baby and "it's my own fault if I leave the phone plugged in" .. Really? So I'll just risk missing calls from the hospital/doctors/pharmacy regarding my ill daughter throughout her naptimes, shall I? No. there's no need to cut myself off from the outside world. My family and friends know to text/ring my mobile first (on vibrate) to see if they can ring the home phone. Any other calls I get are from the hospital, or other important places.. I only get the odd call otherwise, and I don't mind one-offs. But this is EVERY DAY. Stop being an arrogant cow and acting like you know it all; I'm sick to death of your comments! Your fake matter-of-fact tone makes me wish I could throw something through the computer screen at you!
And asking if I put her on her back to sleep when I moaned about the cold callers? That won't affect whether she hears the phone or not, you dick. Then you proceed to tell me that I should put her to sleep on her tummy as you did it and your baby slept for much longer. I simply replied I won't without medical advice, or unless she can roll there and back herself. I don't care that it "made [her child] stronger" and it was the reason she was crawling by 6 months old. What other parents do against medical advice is none of my business and I would never think to comment on it either, let alone tell other parents to do it as well. I think I'd rather listen to my paediatrician than to some girl who used to take laxatives (and tried to give me 'advice' on them when i was losing weight for my wedding...) the day before her weigh-ins so she looked like she weighed less.. Not being funny, why cheat yourself like that? You chose to go to the classes..
Oh yes, and my child must be strange as well because music doesn't help get her to sleep like it does your child. Silly me.
I am sick of you. I wont delete you just yet though, cause the sad thing is, you're supposed to be my friend. But since you've had your child, you are SO up your own arse it's unreal.
(side note: screw off industrial workers office / industrial hearing clinic!! No-one in this household has ever worked in a factory and has suffered hearing loss, it's not "on your records", so STOP CALLING ME EVERY DAY! I have asked you numerous times to stop calling and to remove me from your records, and a few times you've agreed and hung up but I still get calls.. And today some dappy cow called Gina (or Gia, Gee.. Or something) was chatting to her friend when I answered, then was rude to me, and when I started to say I'm sick of getting these calls every day despite being clear in asking them to remove my number, she sighs and hangs up mid-sentence!! BITCH! Oh, and yes, you did wake my baby up AGAIN... But I'd still be annoyed whether you did or not! We are registered with the Telephone Preference Service and you still ring! I can't ignore all witheld numbers, because the hospital/doctors/pharmacies also call from witheld numbers, as do a couple of family members who are ex-directory.)
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she got up on her knees earlier but had her face in the rug with her arms down by her side 
