Things I cannot say out loud....

[Fergie]

oh broken of course you care, it's your family being so hurtful, anyone would care. But you know what? You have your own lovely family now and you need to do what you must to protect them. (my dad told me that! He said when I was stressing out about some family stuff that DH and Jen were my family now, protect them first, then worry about others)

I like your dad, a sensible man at last

 

[divadexie]

MIL- I am sick of you 'just being caring' in ways that it really belittles me and makes out like you don't think I can do it myself.
Of course LO still fits her shoes, she doesn't need you prodding her toes I wouldn't have fucking put them on her if she didn't fit them!!
I CAN judge whether she needs a jumper or a jacket- you are inside and your shop is cold. I am outside and I can tell how warm/cold it actually is, you are always bloody cold because you drink too much. If LO needs a hat or a jacket on then I will put one on her. YES her hands are cold she is related to OH!!
WHen it gets cold, don't whinge at me that she needs gloves and THEN whinge at me because I have to tell her off to get her to keep them on!

And (I actually said this one aloud today) if LO is having a tantrum... and she IS TWO so yes they are FAKE tears along with her stubborn tantrum cause I went the way she didn't want to- you do NOT take her out the buggy to comfort her!!
WTF! How many times do I have to tell you she does not get picked up when she is having a rage???


OH- you and your mum only have to deal with LO for short periods of time. I have her all day every day apart from 2x4 hours when she goes to nursery. I am the one that has to deal with her tantrums and stuborn ness. You come in from work and see her for 10 mins and then go to get changed and she goes to bed. You do NOT know her well enough to tell ME what I am doing wrong!!
Yes I raised my voice at her but jesus bloody hell who has the patience of a saint 24/7?! Especially when I have spent all morning picking up YOUR washing off the bedroom floor!!!!




Today, I feel like if it wasn't so bloody hard to get somewhere to live with dogs, I would leave. I hate being part of OH family sometimes. I thought my MIL was nice but now she is just poking her nose where it's not wanted. And I STILL don't have LO's amber teething necklace back that she took off again and kept at her house.

 

[Natsku]

Urgh just so fed up with my ex and all this custody shit.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Nats. What's going on? Are you keeping Maria until custody is settled?

 

[Natsku]

I have no idea now

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I would wait until custody is official. Then if he dicks around, there is the legal documentation to back it up

 

[Natsku]

I want to keep her but I don't know if I'm allowed to

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Didn't the social worker advise it?

 

[Natsku]

I think so but my ex said he called her and she said she didn't. I dunno if he's lying or there's some confusion or what.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I would reconfirm tomorrow and get custody sorted ASAP

 

[Natsku]

My friend sent an email so hopefully everything will be clearer tomorrow. Custody will be sorted on the 19th (well the meeting is on the 19th, custody might not be sorted then but at least its a start)

 

[tanya]

Good luck nats!

Dh- (stands for dick head this morning) flynns routine does not dictate that I do absoloutelt everything for him! I told you I didn't feel great this morning but as apparently his routine is that I go into him and give him his books to read and radio to listen to there's no chance at all that you could go into him!
I already always feed him, have to be the only one allowed to settle him back to sleep, gave to be the one who puts him to bed, always have to change his nappy basically I do everything and dh occasionally makes a cup of juice and plays with him (for 5 min if he can be bothered)
I can't leave him with his daddy for any length of time, because of this rigid "routine" (which is gonna severely bite him in the arse might I add) I am petrified to get ill, what would happen if I ha to go in the hospital? I can't go out and leave him with his dad so I can't go out, sil babysits occasionally. I'm so fuckin tired. I don't understand why some people can manage to have social lives and sometimes relax when they have a baby and why I can't, I've not washed my hair in nearly a week coz I just can't find the time and dh can't manage to look after Flynn while I shower.

I'm fucking sick of it.

I'm pretty sure the birth certificate says he had two parents.

And why the fuck did dh come home last night (after I'd been out all day ferrying his mum round) and the first thing he said was "oh! I thought you were going to clean the cupboards out tonight?" YOU FUCKING WHAT??!!??! 10pm I'm knackered and you want to know why I didn't clean out the cupboards? 10:30 the night before on my knees scrubbing the oven then up at 5:30 everyday while you stay in bed? FUCK OFF!

 

[Lettuce]

Nats, hope it's all sorted today.

Tanya, seriously?? He's that big a jerk?!! He can't watch him while you have a fecking shower?!! I say it's time for tough love. He should be left with him. He's his DAD, you are a SAHM but that doesn't mean you have 100% of the care. Is there a way you could appeal to his vain side? (they all have one) and say something about Flynn loving spending time with him, it'd be lovely if he spent some more? I can't believe you have to do everything, that's just wrong!

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Oh ladies......I need a proper vent.

So, I role play in an online game. Yes, some of the RP is sexual, but it's just like playing a character. I'm not bothered by it and it doesn't make me want to run away with any other guy. Well, lately, I've been chatting quite a bit to another guy and our characters have gotten into a relationship.

I need to explain the divide first. You have "in character" stuff and "out of character" stuff. What happens in character should not transfer over to out of character and same with the other way around. You keep boundaries, which is what this guy and I are doing.

Now, we like a lot of the same things out of character. He's a writer, theatre buff, country music fan, and hopeless romantic. He's also engaged and has been with the same woman for 12 years! There are sparks between us, but only because of common interests. Neither of us has the intention of leaving our partners. In fact, we even discussed these feelings like adults and came to an understanding that we couldn't let them go further and we are more than happy being just friends. He's going to be in Glasgow at the end of October to see a friend and I'm going to be there for a training course and he asked if we could meet up for a meal. Now, I have VERY strong morals and I don't cheat at all. I can handle having a meal with a guy. I've had them with male friends before (including ones that have been attracted to me) and it leads to nothing. I even brought it up to DH! I wasn't going to go sneaking around!

Fast forward to yesterday night: DH goes nuts at me! Saying I'm "fantasy fucking" another guy. Tells me he would never be happy with me doing anything in an acting capacity with another guy (I've joined a local theatre group, btw. The guy is not from here either. He lives down in England so I don't know what's up here). DH basically tells me he hates it and is feeling insecure. He doesn't want me to meet up with him despite the fact that I asked him if it was okay and he said it's up to me. I'm sitting there completely flabbergasted! For the past two years since his mum passed, his moods have run hot and cold. I've dealt with him cutting himself, yelling at me, sleeping until all hours of the day. I tried to tell him that I can't just flick a light switch and start believing that he's changing for good. In the time that he has been going through all this, I've developed other interests. Yeah, sure, I'm on the computer a bit, but hell, I like to talk to people. I still take care of Alex, take him out, do chores around the house, which lately, means I'm doing EVERYTHING! I deserve some downtime! I'm getting major mixed messages here and it's making me go nuts!

Anyways, I managed to convince him that I'm not going to leave him I don't know what to do anymore. I enjoy my role play and I enjoy being friends with this guy. I'm not willing to give up my theatre so he feels more secure. Frankly, I feel like he wants to put me in a box. As another side note, I have TONS of male friends. This isn't like one male friend out of tons of female friends. Also, he apparently was insecure with me going to see Wicked with a male friend before I moved here! *sigh* Anyways ladies, that's what's been going on. Good luck if you got through to here. I'm in a pretty fucked up place at the moment and I'm fed up. Really fed up.

 

[luci and bump]

Nats- I hope everything goes well with Maria and your ex, it must be very worrying Am glad you have your OH to support you

Tanya- Your OH is being a dick. You should give up on chores for a day or two, so he can see exactly how much you manage to do, all whilst giving all your time to the child you BOTH created!

Ozzie-Sorry that you're having such a hard time with your OH, sounds like your computer game gives you a nice break from reality!

OH-we're going to Italy for two months next year. I'm a bit apprehensive about it, as neither of us speak a word of Italian, but was starting to get excited as I love Tuscany. It's exciting that we're going to have our own little cottage, just you, me and our baby. SO WHY THE FUCK HAVE YOU INVITED YOUR PARENTS?!?!?!?! I can tolerate them for a short period of time, when we go visit them, but them coming out to stay with us, for just over a week, is not cool! Especially as you didn't even think to ask me!!
Considering they go on about how much they miss Evie, they have been to visit her twice. They both drive, and they live over and hour closer than my mum. My mum has been to visit at least 5 times. It takes her nearly 4 hours, and at least 2 changes on a train. No wonder Evie doesn't smile and chat to your parents, she has no frickin idea who they are!!! When she gets older, I will not be defending your parents to her. If they can't be bothered, or are more concerned about their cult church, she will notice!!
I suggest you have some serious making up to do, for ruining what was supposed to be our little romantic hideaway!!!

 

[Natsku]

Your OH is a twat Tanya

Thats a tough one Oz, def don't give up the theatre but you may have to compromise on meeting your friend, maybe just a quick coffee instead of a meal? Maybe your DH would be less insecure and jealous about that as a meal can be such an intimate thing (even though in this case it isn't, of course)

Luci - urgh a week with the inlaws, that won't be fun

I've got to let my ex have Maria for a while He's picking her up on Saturday. I am gutted

 

[Fergie]

@Nats - Eh ?????

I'm all for equal parenting, but not when he's being such a complete tosser. He's not bothered his arse about her until now so it's pretty damn obvious that he's just pulling a stunt to get at you. Control freak springs to mind !.

though hun xx

 

[tanya]

Just found out a woman I used to work with has lost her baby, she was less than two weeks off due date, still don't know exactly what's happened just that she had a routine midwife appt this afternoon and has said rip to her little boy on Facebook.
I can't even begin to imagine the pain.
I can't imagine how I'd feel if I lost Flynn.

 

[tanya]

Found out the rest of the details, she hardly felt him move on Wednesday but didn't want to bother the midwife so waited till her appt the next day, by then it was too late, they couldn't find a heartbeat and sent her to hospital who scanned her. They're not inducing her till tomorrow.
I can't stress how important counting kicks is and getting help straight away! She's going to spend the rest of her life wondering if he would have been ok if she'd gone to a&e.

I found a house I like on the council list.
I'm supposed to be happy living here.
I'm not so sure... I'm the only one who cleans, dispite sil being "between jobs" for the last few months, there's a constant unsaid undercurrent over who buys/uses most toilet paper... Lots of niggly things and someone keeps putting the spoons in the drawer upside down and puts the loo roll on backwards.
We would struggle a bit in our own house but I dunno, I kinda want to know what it'd be like to have our own family home and not just be living in sil's spare room.

 

[Natsku]

That poor woman