Things I cannot say out loud....

[Ozzieshunni]

Im really struggling here :'( its now been a year since we started ttc and on wednesday we went through what should have been my seconds childs first birthday but he didnt make it past 12weeks gestation.... plus yet again im 16days late and Gps think I may have secondary infertility but got to wait atleast 8weeks for referals... im falling apart and dont know where to turn as all my friends are pregnant with their third or fith child**its really hit me hard and I cant log inyo my fb without seeing bump pics or pregnancy updates and it sets me of.in tears.... this is a really pointless thread but i needed somewhere to write

 

[Natsku]

 

[StarlitHome]

I've just found out that my former church-youth leader died.
D and A (his wife) were my heroes when I was a geeky, awkward teenager just moved to a new town. They embraced my brother and I with open arms and through their youth group we found friends and a place to kind of "belong".
They moved away the year before I graduated high school but we kind of kept in touch. They had a couple little boys.
Then A left D and moved back to my parents' town and we found out about this terrible underside to their relationship, with D being abusive to A as well as abusing prescription medications.
That was hard to deal with.
And now, D is dead of a probable drug overdose.

And I don't even really know how to deal with this - on one hand, I'm so so sorry for his parents and siblings and two little boys. And I'm remembering him as he was when he was my youth leader. But on the other hand I am relieved for A because in a way this makes things simpler for her.

 

[cerrie311]

Yeahhhh, I have come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as the "perfect man" lol

 

[Lettuce]

to rainbowbaby and starlit. Starlit, I know exactly how you feel. A priest I knew well died after being involved in stuff (not peodophilia) and I was confused. He had been so good to me and my family, yet mixed up with bad things for others! it's difficult.

Ooohhhh, men, and their mothers!

 

[tanya]

I once knew the perfect man, tall, gorgeous, kind, gentle, good manners, considerate, loved his mother but knew how to keep her at arms length, nicely dressed, clean and smelled good.
It's just a shame for all womankind that he's gay really!
(I even know he was a really good kisser too we were all at a party extremely drunk and all decided to kiss each other, as you do... If I remember right that was the same party where dh kissed him too, and one of our mates was a jester at a castle and got stoned and taught everyone fire breathing, we burnt the shed down! They were some of the greatest parties ever lol)

 

[tanya]

I miss being young and stupid sometimes, there is so much responsibility now and I love Flynn to bits but I'm sad I'll never get that fun bouncy part of myself back
Everything takes so much planning, I used to be at theme parks all the time but it's at least 18months since I last went. I miss nearly being thrown out of travelodges for having thirty people in one room having a party in full fancy dress after being in a theme park all day in costumes, I miss 2am glow stick fights when we collected about 1000 up and threw them at eachother in dark hotel rooms, booking a room for two and sneaking another four people in to sleep in sleeping bags on the floor to save cash!
Everything has changed and I'll never be that person again, everyone expects that as soon as you give birth your whole personality changes and you suddenly become "mummy" you don't, it's a wrench, it's the greatest thing ever but theres a younger more fun version of me that no one seems to notice has gone and no one seems to mourn.

I am a mummy, that is me and as I no longer have a job then mummy and wife is all I have to define myself.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

DH, after what you did last night, I have a lot of thinking to do about our relationship.....never ever ever come this close to being as mad at you as I am now. I couldn't even string a coherent sentence together, I am that mad.

 

[rainbowbaby2]

some fukcing friend you are..... do i tell you to "get over your loss " NO! oh and saying im so far up peoples arses thats a laugh its called being a friend and being their wheb they need someone but you wouldnt know what that means!

 

[Lettuce]

what happened?

 

[Ozzieshunni]

He's taken two sedatives instead of the one that was prescribed. He could have been seriously hurt! He woke Alex and I up twice and forgot where he was.

 

[Lettuce]

Oh god, whyd he do that?!

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I don't know. He keeps apologizing and saying he loves me. I think our relationship is really hanging by a thread right now. I'm not ready to forgive him and I'm not sure how much I love him anymore

 

[Lettuce]

Jeez, and he can't tell you why?! oh Hunny, I know it's hard, but can you talk when alex goes to bed? This parenting thing does mad stuff to us!
I know you're not near anyone but can you get out for the day at least? Leave him with the housework, take Alex and have a nice day? You shouldn't forgive right away for that, but hopefully you can get through this.

My husband was away on business for a coupla days there... I haven't told him this, but I didn't miss him at all...

 

[Ozzieshunni]

He said one wasn't working so he took another. No excuse. None at all. I'm so exhausted. Alex is passed out on my lap. I don't know what to do. After my ex, I promised never to let anyone do anything to hurt me or betray my trust again. I'm super protective of Alex and I don't want to take him away from his dad, but I will if I'm worried about his safety.

 

[linzylinz]

OH-
i know you work 5-6 days a week and that i have chosen not to go back to work just yet. but im not sat round doing nothing i do every thing for the kids and everything around the house. you will hold lo for less than 5mins before you are bored and give her back, you have never used the washing machine, made a bed or cleaned the bath ect.
yes you helped to cook last night that was the first time in months. last night i asked if you could get up with lo for the first time ever and you got shitty saying that i stay in bed till 9am some days thats crap i dont see how i can as the older kids need to be at school at 8.45. if i have got up at 9am on a weekend it will be because lo has been up all night and slept in late the next day.

then you have the cheek to go around asking people to give me a part time job in the evenings. im struggling with my duties as a house wife and mum on my own now you want to add 15 to 20 hours of work to my week.

what i will be saying to you out loud tonight (when you get in from the pub watching footy having YOUR social life) is this-

if you are prepaired to help me with my duties as you call them (the house and bringng up the kids) then i will help you with your duties (supporting your family) by getting a job. nob head

 

[Lettuce]

That's so stupid. Really stupid. maybe its really scared him, but I don't know if that's enough. X

 

[Lettuce]

Um, linzylinz, get him told, cheeky git.

 

[StarlitHome]

Dear Aunt L -
SHUT UP with your complaining. Spending time with you is depressing because all you do is complain and nag.
You don't know how to drive, you never learned, so SHUT UP telling my husband how to drive and where to park and what to do!!!
And you know what, I'm from Canada I think I know how to dress my child warmly when it's a bit chilly here in Hawaii. Seriously.

What I will say Out Loud the next time you nag me about something to do with my child: "How about you let me be the mother and I'll worry about _______?"

Just shut UP, you old naggy whiny woman!!

 

[tanya]

Huge argument over nothing, he threatened to leave, it's his go to in an argument so I beg him to stay, he wins and gets his own way, got the shock of his life when he said "oh I wish my car was fixed so I could just go and leave you" he wasn't expecting me to just say "bye" he came back after 20min, he wouldn't miss flynns bath, also I texted him to say if he didn't reply to me soon I'd ring his mum to check if he went there, she wouldnt be impressed since me and Flynn are both ill.
It all started coz Flynn threw up, not unusual ATM he's thrown up nearly every feed for a couple of days now, dh decided to help by just sitting on the sofa looking at the masses of vomit all over me, the baby and the sofa till I told him to get of his arse and help me! First thing he did was pull the dark brown throw off the sofa and shove it in the washer on top of the load of whites I'd just done an set it going, no intention of taking the clean washing out first (which is now all beige) or even waitin to put the clothes that had sick on in there either. He walked out leaving me with a very upset screaming baby who probably thought that daddy was angry and had left because he'd been sick!
Fucking dick! Sometimes I think I'd be better off if he did fuck off and leave me.