There isn't nearly enough support for Dads. And apart from the fact they have to deal with their child being in NNICU and not having enough time with them because of work, they also, often, have to deal with their fact they nearly lost not only their child but also their wife / partner. They are pulled in so many different directions, needing to help their child, and to help their wife but also being the main point of contact for families and expecting to do all that whilst appearing strong and manly. In Mr Foo's case he was also dealing with the fact his father was terminally ill and having to prop up his mum who kept likening our situation to hers in the most inappropriate ways. How the hell he didn't go under with the stress of it all I have no idea.
I've also got some "things not to say" type stuff. With me at the moment it is a bit further down the line and is as much to do with her long term problems as with her having been a preemie.
I'm getting really angry with family members, and friends who are aware of Abby's problem coming away with things like "oh, she'll get there in the end" or "yeah, it's like when my son/daughter (who has no problems whatsoever) was that age....." or "I know how you must feel"
Really? Do you know? That every day I am with Abby is a fight to get her to do her physio or anything remotely physical, that actually she
might not get there eventually, that I get frustrated with her for not bothering her arse and all the time think "I did this to you" No, frankly it's not like the time your child had tantrums.
I posted yesterday <<snippped - I've had the rant now, best not leave that all public>>
Another time I posted on FB about putting Abby in her big bed and so many people, who know her problems, started bleating on about making sure she doesn't fall or climb out and leaving toys so she can play on the floor in the morning and putting up a stair gate. For fuck's sake, she can't fucking move, you only saw her a fucking week ago and you think she will magically get the ability to get herself out out the bed and through the closed door to the stairs. I long for that day, I ache for it, I would run round the house celebrating if she fell or climbed out of her bed. She could launch herself headlong down the stairs and I'd still cheer. Now, tell me you understand how I feel - what mother would ever say that?
People really don't know how hard it is to have a toddler who doesn't toddle!
Rant over. Sorry to hijack this thread but it bothers me the "things not to say" don't stop when they are no longer babies.