Chantal, that is terrible. I would hazard you are not entirely shocked that he would do that. Men like that are pretty consistent in that they are a holes. My ex was like that. I stayed with him because I didn't know that I could leave, I thought we had love, I thought I wouldn't find anyone better, and I was scared. Also, I thought he might change. We broke up though. My DH today has never insulted me let alone hit me, sworn at me, or disparaged me. Never ever. Not even once. Poverty and fear of being alone are still preferable to living with a bully. Based on those four words alone "he spit on me", knowing nothing else about him whatsoever, I promise you should leave him. He is an immature, violent man, and he will never ever grow up or learn to appreciate a woman who loves him. Happy Mother's Day.