TIE WELCOME JACK, HENRY, DEVON, ROXAS, PENELOPE, MATILDA, THEO and Charlotte!!

[MrsStutler]

AF arrived this afternoon. Even though I mentally prepped for it, I'm still pretty crushed.

Went to my primary doc today to ask for some kind of anxiety medication or something to help with this crazy test anxiety I have developed and she ended up switching my antidepressant from Zoloft (which I had maxed out my dose of) to Cymbalta. The bad thing is...pregnancy is a big fat nope while on it. So. I get to choose between trying this new medication to see if it helps, no guarantees though, and use birth control while on it. Or I can stay on the Zoloft which is helping but not much and still TTC. I have no idea what I want to do.

 

[Jess19]

aww Kayla im so sorry AF showed Thats a tough decision you need to make. Do you have some time to think about it?

 

[MrsStutler]

I can decide whenever I want. I just don't know if we are going to give up or not. I had to change my appointment to the 10th of November since I end up working the day of the 23rd. I got excited when she called saying they had a cancellation and didn't double check my work schedule.

The amount of stress I'm under at the moment I'm starting to feel like we should just stop TTC and move on. Its doing me no favors, that's for sure.

 

[Jess19]

Aww Kayla I hope that everything starts to look up for you soon.
How is school? I saw you passed your test!

 

[MrsStutler]

Thanks
I'm convinced school is going to kill me. I managed to pass my pharmacology course with an 81, so I just barely squeked by but my new motto is "who the hell cares? As long as I pass!" Turns out they don't put your grade point average after the R.N. part of your title.

Now I just have to really focus and study my ass off to pass my nursing course. I have two tests and the final left to go. As long as I get an 85 or better on them I will just barely pass the course. I'm hoping to really do better than that but I just need to pass. The stress is just killing me. I went back to the doc and told her we still wanted to TTC so the new med was not going to work. She is having me stay on the max dose of my current med and gave me a prescription for xanax to take for the anxiety attacks.

There is just so much going on right now, I barely have time to stress or think about TTC. That's probably a good thing.

How are you doing with the contractions? It's going to be soon with all the activity you've had!

 

[waiting2c]

Wow Kayla you have a lot going on, be kind to yourself - the stress and anxiety can't be good for you to live with all the time. How long till you are done with study?? Think of you often!!

 

[Jess19]

yes Kayla take time for yourself, that's the most important thing!

Ugh these last few weeks are dragging for me! Im SO ready to have this baby!

 

[MrsStutler]

My final exam is on December 2nd and then I will just have to focus on studying for the exam to get my license to practice. I'm just ready to be done with all this crazy stuff. I can't believe I've been at it for two years. Seems like such a long time but it also feels like it's gone by quick.

 

[MrsStutler]

Odd, but I'm happy. I got a high reading with My digital OPK this morning. I swear, my body is a complete flipping mystery. Have to wait for the temp change but it's just so odd having ovulation so late last month and more textbook this month. I should be studied for science.

 

[Jess19]

I know what you mean Kayla.
With Charlotte i didnt O until like cd 35! I can't remember when it was with this pregnancy.
But i do remember having 28 day cycles one month then 42 cd cycles the next. Its so freaking exhausting waiting to O.
I used to hate waiting to O more than the 2ww lol

 

[waiting2c]

Yay for a quicker o this month Kayla!!!!

You must be counting the weeks till life settles down!! I'm certainly counting them until work is done for me lol!!

How are you holding up Jess? Can't be long to go?

 

[MrsStutler]

I'm just happy I didn't wait to test. I was thinking of not testing until like CD 15 or 18 to save on the digital test sticks but I thought, no I might get lucky and voila! Flashing smiley on the second day! The long wait to O is awful, I just want to be doing something! At least in the TWW I can placate myself with testing every morning.

T- I have a countdown that I see every single day. I just hope I survive. The idea of not having to slave over nursing homework sounds phenomenal!

 

[Jess19]

Wohoo yey for smiley faces!! ill be stalking for the hpts!

Ugh im not doing too good i have an umbilical hernia. I went and talked to the dr today and she confirmed it. They also found a tiny trace of blood in my urine, so she checked my cervix. Long story short... after 2 different nurses searching and searching for my posterior cervix (that i now know about) they conclude that mt cervix is not even close to dilating, the complete opposite in dact. Baby is head down but not engaged. She probably never will be, my pelvis wont fit a baby so i wont dilate at all.
I left the appointment depressed, with umbilical hernia pain and contracions from the cervical check
These next 2 weeks are going to be long!!!

 

[MrsStutler]

Boo, hope they go by quick! It's gotta be driving you crazy!

I'm now on day 5 of the "high" flashing smiley opk. No temp shift yet either. As usual, I have no idea what's going on. So I've just been attacking poor DH regularly and bribing him to BD. I hope I at least ovulate sometime soon. My cervix has been soft and open the past day or so and that's usually a good indicator O is near for me. Fingers crossed.

 

[MrsStutler]

I managed to pull of an 86.7 on my test this morning...the highest score in the class! I damn near fainted when I had to hit the submit button on the last question. The tests are all on the computer and we cannot go back to look at them so the only way to go is forward but the anxiety of clicking that submit button, knowing you're score is the next thing you'll see...oh my. I had the tunnel vision, started hyperventilating...the whole thing. I about jumped for joy seeing that 86. This is one of the hardest tests too. Now I have to just get an 80 or better on my next test and final to pass the course and sit for the NCLEX!!! I am beyond elated today. I am skipping everywhere, breaking out into song. It's like a Disney movie up in here.

Anywho, on to day 6 of "high" flashing smiley. I think I might let DH have the night off tonight, poor guy is exhausted lol

 

[MrsStutler]

uhg. I give up. Got my peak day finally and nothing even close to a temp rise. DH and I had a HUGE fight last night about this whole thing. He's frustrated, I'm frustrated. We are both ready to just forget about it because it's slowly strangling our marriage. He's starting to resent me for it taking so long and what it has done to our sex life and I'm starting to resent him for not understanding or caring about how I feel about it.

 

[Jess19]

omg Kayla congrats on your test! thats wonderful! I bet your on cloud nine over it!

im sorry you and DH are not getting along at the moment, ttc can do that it sucks. I hope things settle soon.


3 more days to go! I cant wait!
although I am a bit nervous to go through another c section again

 

[MrsStutler]

I can't wait to see her Jess! Not much longer!

 

[MrsStutler]

Crosshairs! Woo-Hoo! lol I don't know if I really agree with FF but since some of those temps were taken way early/late my chart's probably a bit wonky anyways. Just gonna hope and pray now! If this cycle is the one my due date would be right around Lucy's birthday!

 

[waiting2c]

Yay for crosshairs!!!! Have things crossed for you Kayla!!