Hi, I don't know where else to post this so I hope you don't mind me jumping on here! My children are 8 and almost 6 and I'm about to turn 38 so time is definitely not on my side. Plus my husband is absolutely done! BUT I just can't stop thinking about having another child. I hate the idea of sleepless nights and logic says why would we have another when things are so much easier now and logistically it just works in terms of clubs, activities, holidays, car, house etc! But regardless of all this, I just can't shake the idea. I come home to my kids after work and I feel like there's a child missing. I look at photos of holidays we've had and it feels like there's a child missing from the photos! I know that sounds totally crazy but it's how I feel.
I don't even know how I would broach this subject with my husband. We can't even ntnp and see what happens because I have a coil and having it removed would be like confirmation that we are trying! We've got a holiday booked for April and a weekend break for our wedding anniversary booked in July so I know he'll say how can we even think about it at this time. I know he'll say he doesn't want to go back to the baby and nappy and tantrum stage. He'll say what about the affect on our two existing children. He'll say why would we have another and risk all the potential health complications and other things such as twins etc when we have a girl and a boy who are both healthy. He'll say it's still hard and stressful with the children we've got so why would we add to that. He'll say, we're in a good position financially right now and is it fair for our existing children to have to miss out because we bring another one into the mix.
And he's right in lots of ways...logically speaking. But having children isn't logical is it?! So...what can I say that might help to change his thinking and change his mind? Or, do I have to accept that it's not going to happen, get over it so to speak and concentrate on the two amazing children that we have, even if I might regret it deep down for the rest of my life?
I don’t think you sound crazy at all! I said something similar to a friend of mine this week... the other day I had all three kids around me and for a second I had this feeling that someone was “missing” and I wanted to “go check” on them... then realised : nope no one else (at the moment) to go check on. I would simply tell hubby (if I were you), how important it is to you to have one more child. I told MY husband that it’s more important to me (my heart) to have one more, than it is to him to not have another. Plus the ‘baby stage’ flies past so fast, and you will have two lovely big helpers this time around. And one day (soon enough) when they are all grown up...then you will have one more lovely child to come visit and phone and ultimately enrich your lives. And what a gift another sibling is to give to your kids.
