today I... add yours..

[Babee_Bugs]

Today I had my first positive opk since my mc! I was looking forward to it, and excited to see those lines, but for some reason I froze up and stared at the test when it actually happened.

I realized how much anxiety I have about getting pregnant again and having another loss

Despite my fears, my DH told me "if it's meant to happen, it will!" and we BD anyhow... lol. I am learning SO much about what it means to be a woman through all of this. I'm learning that actually raising a child is only a part of motherhood. The journey to get there is so full of love, hope, disappointment, and at times unimaginable pain. We are SO much stronger than we knew!

I was sooo looking forward to getting my bfn, that when I got it yesterday i just sat, stared and it all hit me again that my LO had actually gone ... So I reckon I'm gonna be the same come af and then next ovulation..

It's a roller coaster and I guess it all helps to prepare us for being mummies, as mummies isn't the most easiest of jobs to do, by my god its the most rewarding/feeling in the whole world

 

[ChelliBelle]

Today I had my first positive opk since my mc! I was looking forward to it, and excited to see those lines, but for some reason I froze up and stared at the test when it actually happened.

I realized how much anxiety I have about getting pregnant again and having another loss

Despite my fears, my DH told me "if it's meant to happen, it will!" and we BD anyhow... lol. I am learning SO much about what it means to be a woman through all of this. I'm learning that actually raising a child is only a part of motherhood. The journey to get there is so full of love, hope, disappointment, and at times unimaginable pain. We are SO much stronger than we knew!

I was sooo looking forward to getting my bfn, that when I got it yesterday i just sat, stared and it all hit me again that my LO had actually gone ... So I reckon I'm gonna be the same come af and then next ovulation..

It's a roller coaster and I guess it all helps to prepare us for being mummies, as mummies isn't the most easiest of jobs to do, by my god its the most rewarding/feeling in the whole world

I think because i'm NTNP now i havent actually thought about it- i won't test. I found myself rubbing my stomach today- something i had started doing the moment i found out i was pregnant- it hit me a bit when i realised i was still doing it but then i had a little spoken out loud chat with myself.... and said " soon baby soon" and it made me feel better..... silly i know, but i find talking to the potential next makes me feel like i've not lost anything, as they are still there.....ok so now the people in the white coats are coming i must leave now lol.....

 

[ChelliBelle]

Oh and today i did a bit in the garden- having to sit down every now and again- proving to myself that i might not be completely back to health as i kept going a bit light headed! lol..... take it easy chelle!

 

[threebirds]

I thought about what could have been, and if it will ever happen for us.

But at least the sun shone (this is Ireland)...

 

[kristina1291]

today i read a poem about miscarriage and it really helped me be able to grieve. i shared it to my cousin who lost a baby at birth n it really made her smile. so ima share this mom here:
What Makes a Mother? - Author Unknown

I thought of you and closed my eyes and prayed to God today.
I asked, ’What makes a Mother?’ and I know I heard Him say,
A mother has a baby, this we know is true,
But God, can you be a mother when your baby’s not with you?
Yes you can, He replied, with confidence in His voice
I give many women babies, when they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime, others for a day
And some I send to feel your womb, but there’s no need to stay.
I just dont understand this Lord, I want my baby here!
He took a breath and cleared His throat and then I saw a tear,
I wish the I could show you what your child is doing today,
If you could see your child smile with the other children and say.
’We go to earth to learn our lessons of love and life and fear,
My mummy loved me oh so much I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a mum who had so much love for me,
I learned my lessons very quickly, my mummy set me free.
I miss my mummy oh so much, but I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep, on her pillow’s where I lay,
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek and whisper in her ear,
Mummy don’t be sad today, I’m your baby and I’m here’.
So you see, my dear sweet one, your children are ok,
Your babies are here in my home, and this is where they’ll stay.
They’ll wait for you with me, until your lesson’s through,
And on the day I call you home they’ll be at the gates for you.
So now you know what makes a mother.
It’s the feeling in your heart,
Its the love you had so much of, right from the very start.
Though some on earth may not realise until their time is done,
Remember all the love you have,
And you ARE a special mum!

 

[wamommy]

So beautiful! And I had ALMOST made it through today without tears!

It's ok, it's happy/sad tears. Thank you for sharing that, Kristina

 

[horseypants]

i can't help it. today i was sad. today i would have been 12 weeks. yesterday i found out my neighbor is due a couple weeks after i should have been. today i was in a little car accident. tomorrow i was supposed to go back to work but i used the accident as an excuse to put it off another day. today it seemed like every woman i saw had a baby or was pregnant. i didn't even try not to hate everyone i saw. i couldn't help it. today i'm wallowing. i feel like i haven't really cried all the way yet. i get so sad and tear up for a few seconds then go dry. i'm instantly on the verge of tears then numbish. or i'm angry. it's been two weeks and a day since the d&c. it's been about a month since my little one stopped growing. it's the second time and i'm afraid it will keep happening and i know i will try again despite this fear. i can't help it. today i was sad. and i think it's going to get harder before it gets better. i want to not be jealous of my neighbor and strangers and i want to know that someday i'll get to be a mom. last night i had a dream that my fiance' adopted a baby without me. i tried to stop him but he wouldn't listen to me and he did it anyway. i said i wanted to try to make one together and i thought it would work, that we should make our own. but he ignored me and left me to adopt. he was excited. he was happy he was finally getting to be a dad. the dream somehow means he never really loved me. i know he's sad but i wont let him tell anyone what's happened. i want him to feel sorry for me. i'm greedy for sympathy and even when i get it, i continue to feel so alone. i am very sad. 12 weeks. i should have been 12 weeks today.

 

[9jawife]

i can't help it. today i was sad. today i would have been 12 weeks. yesterday i found out my neighbor is due a couple weeks after i should have been. today i was in a little car accident. tomorrow i was supposed to go back to work but i used the accident as an excuse to put it off another day. today it seemed like every woman i saw had a baby or was pregnant. i didn't even try not to hate everyone i saw. i couldn't help it. today i'm wallowing. i feel like i haven't really cried all the way yet. i get so sad and tear up for a few seconds then go dry. i'm instantly on the verge of tears then numbish. or i'm angry. it's been two weeks and a day since the d&c. it's been about a month since my little one stopped growing. it's the second time and i'm afraid it will keep happening and i know i will try again despite this fear. i can't help it. today i was sad. and i think it's going to get harder before it gets better. i want to not be jealous of my neighbor and strangers and i want to know that someday i'll get to be a mom. last night i had a dream that my fiance' adopted a baby without me. i tried to stop him but he wouldn't listen to me and he did it anyway. i said i wanted to try to make one together and i thought it would work, that we should make our own. but he ignored me and left me to adopt. he was excited. he was happy he was finally getting to be a dad. the dream somehow means he never really loved me. i know he's sad but i wont let him tell anyone what's happened. i want him to feel sorry for me. i'm greedy for sympathy and even when i get it, i continue to feel so alone. i am very sad. 12 weeks. i should have been 12 weeks today.

So sorry. I know it's cliche to say "I know how you feel", and truly I can't know exactly how you feel. But I want you to know that I can relate to a lot of what you said. Seeking empathy but nothing is ever enough. Seeing pregnant women everywhere and hating them. You're not as alone as you think you are. I think many of us feel the same way.

 

[ChelliBelle]

i can't help it. today i was sad. today i would have been 12 weeks. yesterday i found out my neighbor is due a couple weeks after i should have been. today i was in a little car accident. tomorrow i was supposed to go back to work but i used the accident as an excuse to put it off another day. today it seemed like every woman i saw had a baby or was pregnant. i didn't even try not to hate everyone i saw. i couldn't help it. today i'm wallowing. i feel like i haven't really cried all the way yet. i get so sad and tear up for a few seconds then go dry. i'm instantly on the verge of tears then numbish. or i'm angry. it's been two weeks and a day since the d&c. it's been about a month since my little one stopped growing. it's the second time and i'm afraid it will keep happening and i know i will try again despite this fear. i can't help it. today i was sad. and i think it's going to get harder before it gets better. i want to not be jealous of my neighbor and strangers and i want to know that someday i'll get to be a mom. last night i had a dream that my fiance' adopted a baby without me. i tried to stop him but he wouldn't listen to me and he did it anyway. i said i wanted to try to make one together and i thought it would work, that we should make our own. but he ignored me and left me to adopt. he was excited. he was happy he was finally getting to be a dad. the dream somehow means he never really loved me. i know he's sad but i wont let him tell anyone what's happened. i want him to feel sorry for me. i'm greedy for sympathy and even when i get it, i continue to feel so alone. i am very sad. 12 weeks. i should have been 12 weeks today.

today i feel sad too x but i think its because it's a week today i started bleeding- will make myself busy today and go out with family. They have been amazing and i'm lucky for it x

 

[Hvk]

Today my scan appointment letter came through the post. I feel ok though i feel i have passed this now.

Now to sort these eyebrows out.

 

[cupcake]

Now to sort these eyebrows out.

 

[buttonhole]

today I sat for hours (wey felt that way!) and listed all my maternity clothes on eBay and some posh dresses
and just made a chilli.....flipping roasting outside and I make a chilli hahaha

 

[horseypants]

today i woke up happy

 

[lovewithin]

today i made some lovely sketches with black ink )

 

[ChelliBelle]

Just back from taking my 2.5 year old Niece out to an aqua park, and i am now totally sunburnt Fab day tho and took my mind of things watching her enjoy herself.

 

[Babee_Bugs]

Today, my friend dragged me on the train to her university to hand in some paperwork for her exams, then had lunch... Went shopping (bought some clothes in a smaller size than I usually do), thn got home I plaited her hair while having a drink of cider, in this glorious sunshine!

 

[buttonhole]

today.....
shaved my mammoth legs and other areas! cant go out in a skirt with hairy mammoth legs can I ?

 

[lovewithin]

today i'm plannin on shaving too! let's see who survives, me or my mamoth hair!!

 

[buttonhole]

today i'm plannin on shaving too! let's see who survives, me or my mamoth hair!!

 

[ChelliBelle]

Today i got my hair dyed- I no longer look like a skunk! whooooooo

And yesterday (still counts right?!) we decided we would try again once i have healed and back in the market so to speak Not quite ready....but soon, soon