Trying for #1, anyone is welcome!

[LeeMcMee]

WHY can't I just get a CLEAR line lol god damnit. I hate tests! The quality on here sucks, but in person and on Countdown to Pregnancy you can see lines but nothing super crazy clear will be testing again in the morning with FMU

 

[LeeMcMee]

Well!! Check out these lines below!! I still don't fully trust them until I see "Pregnant" on a digital, but this morning I took (2) different blue dye Equate tests and both gave me a little bit darker blue line than yesterday yesterday's tests were neat, but I was 50/50 on whether they were the start of a bfp or just blue dye tests being blue dye tests. I stuck with the blue dyes cuz they're cheaper and when I was prego 10 years ago I found out on a blue dye test after my missed AF and I it showed on a frer until like a week later or something. That pregnancy was confirmed with my doctor. Maybe my body just says nah to frers lol anywho, here are a bunch of pix lol.

The random strip is from a ClearBlue Digital that read "Not Pregnant" but had a thick light blue line when I opened it. It thinned out as the air hit it, but you could see the thick line in person. I think I have read not to open them cuz they always have lines? Or maybe that was with their OPKs? I don't know.

So you can see that (1) of the tests was a | | test and the other was a + | test. Both had the same blue color line that showed up in the 2-3 min mark. I also compared yesterday's tests to today, which is kind of hard to see in the picture (better in person), but there is a clear progression.

So I'm calling it a BFP, but cautiously until I get a thick blue line and/or a + on a digital. I will tell DH once I know for sure.

If this ends up definitely being a BFP, here are my symptoms this month:

CD13 ~ +OPK, ewcm, CP medium/medium, dizzy, headache
CD14 ~ ewcm, cramps, left ovary pinching, CP high/soft, fatigue, headache (I think my body tried to O here but didn't)
CD15 ~ Creamy CM, cramps, headache
CD16 ~ +OPK
CD17 ~ I believe this was O day, cramps, water cm, left ovary pinching
1DPO ~ No symptoms
2DPO ~ Watery CM, cramps, watery diarrhea several times @ night and not to be gross but it was like a fast hose and I don't get that unless I'm sick, CP high/firm/closed, gassy, headache,
3DPO ~ Watery CM, cramps, watery diarrhea all day, nausea
4DPO ~ Took an hour long nap on the couch, diarrhea, thirsty, headache
5DPO ~ Cramps, vivid dream last night, CP moved from high to low then high (was firm), creamy CM then ewcm mixed w/ white, diarrhea, thirsty, gassy
6DPO ~ Watery CM, cramps, CP low/firm, diarrhea
7DPO ~ Watery CM, cramps so bad I took ibuprofen, some pinching on left ovary area, CP so high could barely reach it, gritty/crumbly CM (wtf?), gassy
8DPO ~ Dry CM, cramps, gritty CM again, high CP, backache, gassy, headache
9DPO ~ Watery CM
10DPO ~ Creamy CM, cramps
11DPO ~ Creamy CM, cramps, had a little white ewcm, while eating dinner I didn't like the taste of the corn on the cob (which DH said was off too but he was fine with it and ate 2, I couldn't finish half of 1) and then I made myself garlic/butter rice which I love but I said that tasted gross as well and it wasn't old and DH said "do you think there is a reason your taste buds are off?" I said "I'm not sure" I think he was seeing signs before I was haha I didn't eat the rice , CP medium/firm, heartburn
12DPO ~ Cramps
13DPO ~ Creamy CM, cramps, CP high/firm/closed, bloated, fatigue
14DPO ~ (AF due date) Creamy CM, cramps, CP high/medium/closed, bloated, fatigue, headache
15DPO ~ Creamy CM and 1 small bit of ewcm, cramps, CP high/firm/closed, peeing a lot, slightly tender boobs only when poking
16DPO ~ Creamy CM, cramps, faint BFP blue dye w/ FMU in timeframe and afternoon pee, BFN before bed (probably diluted pee), tons of thick white creamy CM, CP higher/firm/closed, increased hunger, tender boobs when poked
17DPO ~ (Today) BFP on (2) different style blue dyes & (1) BFN on ClearBlue digital but the test strip has a thick blue light line, line progression since yesterday but still thin but def blue and showed up right away in time frame, cramps, CP is medium/medium, creamy CM and dot of white ewcm, increased hunger, tender boobs when touched

What threw me off was NOT having pre-AF symptoms like sore boobs until AFTER missed AF, thick white creamy CM, and a week long of watery diarrhea which my bff said was her first sign.

 

[Stella2018]

Hey Lee,

Honestly, there is only one (maybe two) that I think I see a line, but as you said, it could be the way these photos were uploaded - I can't really tell. I think you should go get a blood draw. That'll answer the question once and for all and they'll be able to tell you if the HCG is advancing appropriately FX!!!!

 

[LeeMcMee]

Yeah even when I sent my pix to my friend in messenger I noticed since the site like condenses the pix down they're harder to see. I will wait a week or so and call my doc.

See below. I tweaked them a little, so hopefully you can see better now after they get uploaded. Damn websites lol. I also uploaded them to Countdown to Pregnancy and they show better on there I always find.

https://www.countdowntopregnancy.com/pregnancy-test-gallery/?u=295685

 

[Nixnax]

Hey lee, I would discount the line on the digital, they always have a 2nd line as the pick up LH as well as HCG. I made that mistake last month. Never crack open a digital. BUT I see the lines clear as day on the others. I really hope this is it for you. Defo try and get a blood test to confirm. How exciting

 

[LeeMcMee]

Yeah I thought I had read that somewhere. After I posted that, I went on a google hunt lolol I was comparing actual negative digital strips to 'not pregnant' strips that were actually pregnant and mine in person looked just a tad lighter than those. im holding off on digital again unless I get a dark line. I so hope this is it, if not it's a super cruel joke.

 

[LeeMcMee]

I just realized you said they pick up LH as well... ahhhhh

 

[Nixnax]

Yes some pick up LH and HCG hence the line. Most people produce a small amount of LH all cycle.

Plus digitals are far from sensitive, I’d leave those alone until you get a good red line on FRER.

I really hope this isn’t a cruel trick in you. Test again in the morning with FMU and keep us posted

 

[LeeMcMee]

Yeah that was my plan, tomorrow's FMU. The other day I barely had a line and my friend, who found out she was prego last month, was like "take a digital" I said yeah how? I can barely see this line, so that wont do anything lol I explained that the digitals work with light or whatever and you need a certain thickness before it will say 'pregnant'

 

[LeeMcMee]

Hey everyone! Where is everyone anyways? I feel like I'm taking over. So I'm 18DPO today, AF is 4 days late. Took another blue Equate test with FMU and a frer with the same fmu. Pix below. Another thin blue line that showed up in 1-2 minutes and a very very faint positive on the frer. So I'm beyond frustrated and I called my doc and after talking to a nurse for 20 minutes, she ordered me a blood test (that's what I called for) and was only gonna do the yes/no blood test, but after we went over my history and my frustration she ordered me an HCG levels test. I wasn't mean to HER, I was just explaining how I'm a POAS addict and been trying for 6 months. She was super helpful and knowledgeable. I'm going after work to the hospital down the road from my house and I haven't told DH yet about any of the tests or the blood work. I want to know FOR SURE before I tell him because I want it to be special. We already have turned this from fun to a 'chore' that must get done, you know? And he still thinks I need fertility treatment, although I did tell him the day that AF was due that I didn't have it yet, but he hasn't asked me anything about it. SO I want this to be a fun surprise. Cramping today. Nurse said incase I'm pregnant, drink 64 oz water a day, don't take my Xanax, and went over what pain killers not to take.

I'm so hoping this is it and I'm anxiously awaiting to hear how you all are doing. Updates ladies!!

 

[Nixnax]

Ah Lee how frustrating. All the faint lines. Good luck the blood test. Keep us updated. I get the not telling DH part until you know. When I told DH that I was late last cycle he just got al stressed and that made me stressed. Got everything crossed for you

 

[Lady_Alysanne]

Nix - Thank you.. Have fun with the best part of ttcing!

Zo - Thanks! Lol, I guess I deserved that, all the same beautiful name for that lo. Hope the rest did you some good, and you are better now..

Lee - Thank you.. I understand frustration with insurance and all, as if we are not under enough stress, that has to be added on top of it..
Pinching feeling sounds good, I defo see the lines on the last two posts of yours. I think FRER just doesn't work on you, we all are so different. Continue with the other test perhaps, clearblue is it? Crossing everything for you, hope this is it!!

Stella - Thanks, ah, well, whatever I choose DH doesn't like it, so he can choose the name all by himself. Yeah, how the time flies, I am waiting for Fall to arrive, want to do some photoshoots with all that color!!
And that story is something, I hope everything works out for your friend..

AFM, sorry for not showing up more like I used to, I have some work deadlines, also trying to get some things done, before I become too exhausted and my third trimester starts. I have a doctors appointment next week, but nothing exciting I suppose. LO is kicking me whenever he feels like it, still I think I need to wait a number of weeks before someone else can feel that as well..

 

[LeeMcMee]

Welp, my doc called. NEGATIVE blood work, <1 hcg level. fucking negative. They want me to follow up blood work tomorrow but I have to wait till Monday because we are away tomorrow to Sunday. they said IF I'm pregnant the levels would go up, but she said 5 days after a missed period I should have a definite positive pee test by now. So I don't think I'm gonna even go on Monday. Fertility clinic Aug 31st... just balled my eyes out at work (I'm working alone today). This was the worst feeling ever. My period isn't ever late (only was in the first few months when I got off BCP) and I am cramping every god damn day and THOSE LINES!! I know they are thin, but they show up right away and look blue. This was just cruel and now I have 0 faith in my body since we had sex EVERY OTHER DAY like we were supposed to for like 1 1/2 - 2 weeks. I just don't know what to do anymore. I hope fertility treatments work for me.

 

[Nixnax]

Awww Hun I’m sorry to hear this. Big hugs. I had high hopes that this would be it for you.

 

[LeeMcMee]

Nix - Thanks. Yeah I'm pretty pissed off now. Thank god we are going away tomorrow till Sunday. I need it.

Lady - It was the Equate (Walmart) tests I was using. ClearBlue showed no lines. That should have been my first hint. Oh well. Glad things are going well.

 

[Stella2018]

Lee, I am so sorry - I have been followingbyour pists the last few days and hoping, hoping, hoping. I really had hopes for you... Are thry thinking you have another cyst? Where are youngoing this weekend?

Lady - Our QC Manager at work is pregnant and her little man kicks all night. She can't sleep!!

Hope everyone is doing well and that we get some BFPs here soon.

 

[LeeMcMee]

Stella - Thanks for rooting me on I really thought this was it considering we had sex every other day for 1-2 weeks and my AF was 8 days late. I ended up getting it yesterday. DH and I went to Old Orchard Beach, Maine Friday morning to yesterday afternoon. Usually we stay longer, but funds were just tight this year. My family goes up as well and we all stay at different places. It was rainy most of the time unfortunately, but we finally got to go to the beach yesterday morning for a little bit. Yes it may have been a cyst since I have pinching a few times on the lower left and sex was slightly uncomfortable one of the days, or it could just be my thyroid screwing everything up I'm not sure

So AFM... AF finally arrived yesterday, 8 days late. I'm done temping, testing, symptom spotting now. I'm done. Last month SHOULD have been it with everything we did, but it didn't happen so I obviously need assistance. Our appointment with Boston IVF is August 31st at 9am. I told my boss last week about our TTC adventures cuz he and I are good friends and I know he has been sensing some agitation in me, cuz he will jokingly mention that I'm moody at times, so I told him and he completely understood. I also wanted him to know because I will be having these appointments. I reassured him that I will be working after I have a baby some day because we need to have both of us working in order to pay our mortgage and bills. Sadly we can't afford for me to be a stay at home mom, which I would love to be I told him this forever ago as well cuz like I said we are buds.

Anyways, I think I have had a short fuse with everyone lately and I feel bad. Do you guys, who have yet to get pregnant, find that that happens with you as well?

Here are a few pix from vacation. I haven't uploaded all the pix yet, so this is just a few randoms lol. The ferris wheel one is a view from the back porch of the apartment building we stayed at. You can see the ocean behind it. Another pic is of a desert in Maine haha what?! This isn't even by the beach... apparently bad farming practices ruined the land.

 

[Nixnax]

Hey Lee, I’m sorry af got you. It was very cruel to you this month. I get very angry and vexed at everyone. With my af being 5 days last cycle I cried so hard when it arrived. I wouldn’t speak to anyone. It takes it’s toll on us women for sure and our men never understand. That’s why this site is amazing, we can talk to each other and everyone on here understands our woes. I’m on cycle #14 now and feel no closer whatsoever

 

[Dream143r]

I totally hear that Nix. I actually called in sick CD1 of my July period. It was just too hard. I couldn't face the world.

Since I took my progesterone all the way through 14DPO AF took a little while longer to come. Now we're onwards and upwards to the next cycle. Lucky number 17 right?

DH and I met with the RE this morning to review last cycles results that ended in yet another BFN. What I didn't know about cycle 16 was that I actually had 2 decent sized follicles on my right side on Day 10 (15mm and 16mm) that dissolved or vanished and didn't mature. Leaving me with only the 1 that matured and ovulated.

What he also shared with us was a concern for my FSH level on my baselines. In May it was 9 and in July it was 10. He said for someone young like me (under 35) he expects this number much lower around 4 or 5. A higher FSH level is suggesting my body is working harder than 'normal' to tell the ovaries to grow the follicles. He said that because I'm still getting many smaller immature follicles on both sides each cycle that the issue is likely not quantity but quality. To aid in improving egg quality he suggested I see a fertility specific naturopath to help with my overall health and well-being. I stopped going to my naturopath a few months ago now. My benefits had run out and I had been seeing her for about 8 months with no pregnancy so I kind of gave up. My doc said it's certainly not required but recommended I see 1 of the couple that he suggested. (My old naturopath didn't specialize in fertility). I've made an initial appointment to see one of the ND's he suggested for Friday morning. He suggested DH see a ND as well. I haven't got a chance to speak to him about it as we had to rush off to work right after our appt. So I'll have to see tonight how he feels about going to one. He suggested the ND for DH as well because of his fluctuating SA results. Sometimes their perfectly amazing and other times not so much.

Anyhoo - the high FSH is the main driving factor for him changing my protocol for IUI #3. He's really aiming for multiple follicles since we didn't get that with the letrozole. So I'll be taking Puregon injectables 75iu per day starting tomorrow CD3 until they tell me to stop. He didn't think another letrozole cycle would get us different results, so we're moving on. I wasn't expecting this at all. I didn't know what action he would take but injectables never really crossed my mind. It kind of seems a little aggressive but at the same time, its been 16 cycles and we haven't had a single pregnancy...Aggression is hopefully what we need.

I'll go in tomorrow morning at 630am for my CD3 baselines blood and ultrasound. The nurse will give me a crash course on how to use the Puregon cartridge. Then call me in the afternoon with the go ahead on when to start.

Praying for a miracle.

 

[Nixnax]

Dream I did the same! I called in work sick for 2 days! My DH didn’t understand why. But after 3/4 days I peeked up again and he commented saying that I seem “Normal” again now. Men eh?!

Wow that is a lot to go through. I really hope you catch soon lovely. Injections sound a bit scary.

I think my DH is changing his mind on the baby front. When I was late last month he looked petrified. We had a bit of a drunken conversation the other day about kids but I don’t remember it! Typical! But I do remember saying that we need to be on the same page and feel the same. I really think he’s going off the idea but I’m scared to death to bring it up again.

Part of me thinks that he’s struggling because he can’t do his thing to make a baby and maybe he’s just thinking what’s the point. I don’t know. We will have to approach the conversation soon. I do want kids and if he’s changing his mind for real then we’ll have to rethink everything. I think he’s just scared or not feeling worthy but we’ll see