trying or success stories after stillbirth

[dani86]

Bless you!! My bleeding kept coming and going like that you know and then I jst stalled sex for a few days and it went!!! I've had a few glasses of wine tonight to cheer me up a bit but u shud defo come and join in when u feel better! Must have felt shit when ur toddler said that but jst think there will b a baby in there soon, it is hard but as you've said to me ttc is the only thing keeping us going at the min and get that cbfm set on day 5 so u can start tomorrow!!! What's ur names by the way?? Mines Danielle!! X x

 

[dani86]

And my diet isn't too good either had a pizza tonight a big greasy takeaway one! I'm smoking loads to have since I lost baby but I dnt help it hadn't smoked since last October/November now I jst have no will power as soon as I get that bfp I will stop tho x x

 

[ca154853]

Hi MyAngelAvery
I am so sorry for your loss and completely understand that everyone's loss and situations are different. I do want to give you hope by telling you I also suffered a full term stillborn. I was induced when they found no heartbeat. My baby Kaitlyn was born the day before her due date. They think it was a cord accident. That was back in 2001. I have since had 2 beautiful healthy boys. I will tell you that because they could not determine the exact cause of the still birth I have since been considered high risk and am usually induced between 37-38 weeks. Hang in there baby girl. I know it is tough. My heart breaks for you. :'( Nothing will replace little Avery but you will be able to give her brothers and sisters have no fear.

 

[dani86]

U feeling better today delish?? X x

 

[Delish]

Yes thanks dani, was having a very feel sorry for myself day yesterday! I'm Claire by the way
Still can't seem to get in ketosis with my low-carbing but haven't cheated exactly, just probably eating a few to many of the low-carb bars and stuff. Do you still have smilies?? I dunno why I have so much EWCM when my OPKs have stopped giving lines. Weird weird weird xx

 

[dani86]

No more smiley only had the one but Gunna one last time tonight jst incase!! I have those feel sorry for myself days too!! That is weird have no idea what it could be Hun. My diet has been crap today I ate a nandos x

 

[Becktoria]

Hi dani and delish, I recently lost my baby at 36 weeks due to placenta abruption. I feel completely lost and feel like I'm on my own. I feel as tho I'm never going to b happy again. I hav a great family and husband but nobody truely knows how I feel. I just want my baby it hurts so much. I would love to have another but scared it will happen again ice not had my 6 weeks check yet.I hope u don't mind me commenting I just feel u will both probably know how I feel xx

 

[Delish]

Becktoria - big, big hugs to you, of course we don't mind you commenting! I know exactly how you feel but you're definitely not on your own, promise.
I haven't had a postnatal appointment or a consultant one yet either and this is week 6 now. When was your little one born (if you don't mind me asking)?
There's no rules hon, if and when you feel ready to try again just go for it, it's definitely a scary time but also something to focus on. But don't worry about whether or not it's too early, I did at first but it's helping me.
Talking to others in the same position is really helping too so I hope you stick around. xxx

 

[Becktoria]

My little girl too keeps touching my belly and asks why has the baby gone . It breaks my heart as I want her to hav a little brother or sister so bad. She was looking forward to her little sister that I lost at 36 wks two weeks ago.hope u don't mind me posting a reply I just understand how upsetting it is wen your little one mentions baby xxx

 

[Becktoria]

I lost my baby girl two weeks ago. I have another little girl who is 4. I was having pains an thought I was going into labour then I thought my waters had broke an it wasn't it was blood. I knew from that moment my baby had gone. My husbands gone back to work today and it's just me and my girl at home, I feel as though I don't want to go out an bump into people I know but I know I have to to entertain my 4 year old. My hearts just broken and sometimes I can't believe what's happened. Glad I have someone else to talk to now who knows what I'm feeling. I hope your appointment for your check comes through soon, I want my appt too I need answers xxx

 

[Delish]

Aww bless your little girl, mine is only 18 months so though she points at bumps and says baby which is hard enough, she didn't really understand I don't think and I'm thankful I didn't have to tell her the baby was gone. I can't imagine how hard that part would have been for you.
I know exactly how you feel, I dread seeing people I know, or even people I don't know but who've seen me pregnant and must be wondering where the baby is. I have no idea when that stops.
It's very hard when you have another LO to entertain because you have to carry on as normal for them, of course we're so lucky to have them as a reason to keep going but we also don't get that time to just shut ourselves away and be selfish and wallow because it's not an option with LOs around.

Did they give you any idea what might have happened? I don't expect to be given much new information as I declined post mortem, however he had the cord round his neck so that sort of seemed obvious to me. I suppose there might have been more to it. I won't be chasing up my appointment to be honest as I dread going back into the hospital, but if I get sent one I'll go. xxx

 

[Becktoria]

I declined Post mortem Too I didn't want her little body messed with. They have sent off my placenta too see if there was anything up with it, also there was a huge clot hidden behind it so I don't know how long that was there for. I need answers so I can move forward. Have you had any aftercare? Have any midwives Been out to see you? I just wish I could feel better, my hearts been ripped out and I don't think I'm ever going to get put this frame of mind. Lots of my friends are pregnant including my sister an it hurts so much to think they will get to cuddle there babies an watch them grow, I will never get that. Sorry to so negative I'm on such a downer today. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. Thanks for listening xx

 

[Delish]

Sorry for not replying sooner, I'm away at my dads at the mo. I really hope you can get some answers soon. I had one midwife out then asked them not to come again, it just reminded me of what wasn't here and physically I'm fine. Asked the HV not to come too. How about you, are you having much aftercare?

One of my friends is pregnant too and it's really hard being around her. I actually pray I'm pregnant again before she has hers and then it'll be easier to handle I think.
I hope you've had even slightly better days this week hon, I know how wrenching it is. Sometimes it's so raw it's like being punched in the gut, others I almost feel like it happened to someone else. It's like I can't quite process this could actually be my life now

xxx

 

[pamepinto28]

Hello everone,
Im new here and I hope you dont mind if I post. I too have had a stillbirth at 34 weeks. My husband and I tried for years to get pregnant and ended up doing fertility treatment to get pregnant. We were elated!! My water broke at 33 weeks and they wanted to keep her in longer and put me on bedrest. During that time we somehow contracted Ecloi and she passed before we knew there was a problem. I was told I may never get pregnant as I have a conditon called Poly cystic ovarian syndrome. My husband and I were devastated. I didnt think I could get ever get past the pain. I hid and didnt want friends or family to visit. I didnt want to see anyone. I didnt want questions and didnt want those who didnt know to ask how the baby was. Unfortuneately they asked anyway. Eventually I had no choice but to face it. It was not easy....My baby girl passed in April 2006. It has bee 5+ years. I went back on fertility meds and had a beautiful son Oct. 2007. Then very unexpectantly we fell pregnant again on our own and I had another beautiful son Nov 2009. And once again I am pregnant with a daughter who is Due Dec 9th 2011. I want to share my story to give some hope to all of you. Its been 5 years now since we lost our beautiful baby girl and its still hard. That sting never goes away. Never. You will always remember with a heavy heart, always wonder and always miss him/her however it does get better. Slowly there will be days where you feel you can smile again. where you thik about it a little less. and life somewhat returns to normal. Then one day you reralize that you will make it thru this. And you will be a stronger person. There is hope. It does get better. I am praying for you all. There is no right or wrong way to deal with such a heartache. You just have to get thru today and tomorrow gets easier. I promise. Best wishes to you all. If I can help in anyway please feel free to let me know. Ive been there.... big hugs to you all!

 

[Becktoria]

Hi delish hope you are ok. How have you been. I've had bad few days but went to see one of my friends today which made me feel bit better. Although I've had pelvic infection and got to go for scan on Monday as had lots of pain. Fingers crossed everything ok. Xx

 

[Delish]

pamepinto28 - thank you, those are really lovely, kind words. I so appreciate you taking the time to write that. xxx

Becktoria - sorry to hear you've been having a bad few days but glad you're friend has helped you feel better. Ouch for the pelvic infection, hope it goes ok on Monday, keep me updated. Is it to do with the birth or totally unrelated??
I went to light a candle at the cathedral and write a prayer for my boy this week, which I'm glad I got to do, I know it doesn't 'do' anything but it helped me I think. Still focusing quite hard on trying again, I find I need a couple of 'projects' on the go to keep my mind busy if you know what I mean? xxx

 

[Myangelavery]

Hey girls!! thank u to everyone posting giving each other hope...i have noticed we all feel the same after our losses andam glad that there are people to talk to. I am goin on almost a year since avery was born and still crying and looking at pictures, her room still looks the same and i talk about her everyday. Its so hard!!! Not pregnant yet....tried soy isos this cycle but my boyfriend and i keep arguing that hes not ready! Still thinkin it will never happen hoping no problems r in there! good luck evryone & baby dust!!

 

[Delish]

Hugs to you Myangelavery, I'm glad you came back to the thread (and sorry if we took it over a bit for a while there!)
I'm sorry you're having a hard time convincing your boyfriend, can understand him being worried/scared to try again as it's such a personal thing and everyone is different, maybe you can explain to him this is what you need to heal so he can try to understand you more?
It *will* happen for you hon, it happened once and it will happen again! Did it take you long the first time?
Hope the soy works for you, it's for irregular cycles right?

 

[Myangelavery]

they say to use soy for irregular cycles but it can lenthen your leutal phase and my cycles are 25 to 27 days so i thought id give it a shot.....althought when time came to try my boyfriend filled me in that he wasnt ready. I wish i didnt pump myself with estrogen just to be turned down lol;-) We werent trying when we concieved avery just not preventing and took about 6 months. My cycles didnt get regular til may or june so hoping thats why it hasnt happened yet. Thank u so much for your kind words ...hoping bfp story for the thread soon!!!0 babydust to u sweetie!!!!

 

[Jox]

Hi, My son was stillborn at 36+2 weeks 2nd January 2010, 36+2 weeks later my Rainbow was delivered by csec at 34+3 weeks. I fell preg just 3 weeks after my Angel was born.

I am soon going to be ttc my 2nd Rainbow. After falling preg so soon after birth i am now worried I will have problems ttc but i suppose only time will tell.

My bf is currently preg, due just 2 days after my angels due date so it is a little hard and im hoping to be preg before she has baby in the hope it makes it all a little easier to deal with iykwim?

Im sorry for your losses and really hope youve all got BFPs just around the corner x