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Trying To Conceive #1 Only Vent Thread

So glad to see this forum, really need a rant!

A bit of history. Trying for 2 1/2+ years I'm 24 my husband 26 both mostly healthy.
Only just getting the specialist help we need.

So I'm going for an exploratory laparoscopy on the 7th Jan and I'm terrified about what they might find :( the doc I saw was so insensitive that I sat and cried in the middle of the consultation! I suffered my 5th early mc three weeks ago and had to be taken to hospital, but apparently because I hadn't got a box prior (as I didn't test this time) , in his words 'we don't count that as a miscarriage' ,.... I was distraught. Sure he deals with this every day but this is my life and ME who can't have children. It was like he was turning a huge loss in my life in to something completely trivial! I was so upset.

Also have a friend on Facebook who is pregnant with her 2nd and posts about it with pics like 4 times a day. Sure she has the right to be happy and post, like I'm sure I will when I'm pregnant, but how upset I am I sometimes just want to tell her to shut the f#=@ up! Then I feel like a horrible person for feeling so jealous but I can't help it. :( also going to be seeing my baby nephew in law at Christmas which I am just dreading because it hurts so badly. I should be able to spend time with family without feeling depressed and like a complete failure to my self and my husband.

I'm depressed, lonely and childless and just so afraid that if I tell my husband what I'm truly feeling then he will think I'm a bad person. I know he isn't like that but I'm just super scared right now and just want to curl up in a corner and hide.
 
Gah, gonna be one of those months eh? AF haven't showed so officially 24 hours late but yet got the cramps and all so there's not guessing there that it will show it's just taking it sweet time. So annoying, just start already so we can move on to the next cycle!!
 
I'm ovulating Nov 27-Dec 1...We have been trying only a few months, but somehow I thought it would happen right away. I am getting nervous...

PLEASE UNIVERSE LET IT HAPPEN THIS WEEK!!!!

I should be O'ing around the same time!! Fx for you!
:dust:
 
Hello :hi::hi::hi::hi::hi::hi::hi::hi::hi::hi::hi::hi:
My husband and I have been TTC for about 6 months now and I'm starting to grow disappointed. I had an unexpected pregnancy in the beginning of the year and lost the baby due to stress at 9 weeks. :nope: We've been TTC since with no such luck. Obviously I could previously get pregnant, but now I'm concerned. I'm afraid of never getting pregnant again, I'm afraid of losing it again, I'm just afraid of more hurt. Every month that I get AF I can't do anything but cry.

I hope I'm doing this right, this is my first time posting in a forum. Good luck to all of you TTC :baby:
 
So I just need to say (apologies in advance for cursing if it offends you)
Fucking fuck fuckity fuck fuckin fuck. I have every pms symptom I got a light pink wipe on tp earlier and af is due today or tomorrow. Bfn on a test two days ago so I'm feeling pretty much out and I'm fucking pissed. We are going into to month five and being on post is driving bonkers with every baby and pregnant woman waddling around ribbon their damn bellies. The PX has such cute baby stuff I have to pass every time i walk in and I just feel like breaking down and crying. DH feels the same and is starting to learn at other babies/kids and feel sad and it breaks my heart I can't seem to give us what we both want. I know it's not been as long as some of you, but wing overweight makes me fear that it's going to be nearly impossible to get pregnant and I'm terrified it's all my fault. I hate ttc. I fucking hate it right now. And screw adorable Christmas babies with their outfits and pictures with Santa at every mall I go to.
 
AF still not here, my reaction with my bb's feeling like they're about to implode and cramping with no af:

https://i.imgur.com/EcL9ojJ.gif
 
So glad to see this forum, really need a rant!

A bit of history. Trying for 2 1/2+ years I'm 24 my husband 26 both mostly healthy.
Only just getting the specialist help we need.

So I'm going for an exploratory laparoscopy on the 7th Jan and I'm terrified about what they might find :( the doc I saw was so insensitive that I sat and cried in the middle of the consultation! I suffered my 5th early mc three weeks ago and had to be taken to hospital, but apparently because I hadn't got a box prior (as I didn't test this time) , in his words 'we don't count that as a miscarriage' ,.... I was distraught. Sure he deals with this every day but this is my life and ME who can't have children. It was like he was turning a huge loss in my life in to something completely trivial! I was so upset.

Also have a friend on Facebook who is pregnant with her 2nd and posts about it with pics like 4 times a day. Sure she has the right to be happy and post, like I'm sure I will when I'm pregnant, but how upset I am I sometimes just want to tell her to shut the f#=@ up! Then I feel like a horrible person for feeling so jealous but I can't help it. :( also going to be seeing my baby nephew in law at Christmas which I am just dreading because it hurts so badly. I should be able to spend time with family without feeling depressed and like a complete failure to my self and my husband.

I'm depressed, lonely and childless and just so afraid that if I tell my husband what I'm truly feeling then he will think I'm a bad person. I know he isn't like that but I'm just super scared right now and just want to curl up in a corner and hide.
:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

This process can get very stressful, try to stay positive. Never blame yourself, it isn't something that is in your control. Whenever the time is right, it will happen. :hugs:
 
Oh. Hey there AF. Was...was uh...kinda hoping not to see you this month. Guess it's on to cycle five. Grrrreeaaat. So now either I'll get a BFP Christmas morning or cramping and AF. WHAT JOY. Ugh. I tried to post here earlier but I think my awful curse fest probably got it denied, whoops! This post is a little more pg now that I've cooled off a bit >.<
 
I'm highly upset. I can't sleep so I'm doing research even though I know I shouldn't but I read that we should take folic acid 3 months before TTC.

So what is this going to mean for me?! I don't wasn't to wait 3 whole fucking month. I went to Barnes and Noble to read about conception and fertility. However, instead I was looking at the pregnancy journals that we can use to write things down through out our pregnancy.

I want a baby now damn it! I'm more motivated to BD until the second week of December. Even if it means taking charge, hehe. The hubby better not complain. Time to be dominate for a few days. This should be fun. Wish me luck!
 
I'm highly upset. I can't sleep so I'm doing research even though I know I shouldn't but I read that we should take folic acid 3 months before TTC.

So what is this going to mean for me?! I don't wasn't to wait 3 whole fucking month. I went to Barnes and Noble to read about conception and fertility. However, instead I was looking at the pregnancy journals that we can use to write things down through out our pregnancy.

I want a baby now damn it! I'm more motivated to BD until the second week of December. Even if it means taking charge, hehe. The hubby better not complain. Time to be dominate for a few days. This should be fun. Wish me luck!

I wouldn't fret about it. It's only a recommendation, not mandatory. Women have done fine for thousands of years without taking folic acid. I definitely wouldn't wait over something that silly as a recommendation. Just start it if you want and continue ttc like regular.

GL and hope you get you bfp soon :hugs:
 
I'm highly upset. I can't sleep so I'm doing research even though I know I shouldn't but I read that we should take folic acid 3 months before TTC.

So what is this going to mean for me?! I don't wasn't to wait 3 whole fucking month. I went to Barnes and Noble to read about conception and fertility. However, instead I was looking at the pregnancy journals that we can use to write things down through out our pregnancy.

I want a baby now damn it! I'm more motivated to BD until the second week of December. Even if it means taking charge, hehe. The hubby better not complain. Time to be dominate for a few days. This should be fun. Wish me luck!

I wouldn't fret about it. It's only a recommendation, not mandatory. Women have done fine for thousands of years without taking folic acid. I definitely wouldn't wait over something that silly as a recommendation. Just start it if you want and continue ttc like regular.

GL and hope you get you bfp soon :hugs:


Thank you. :hugs: I'm praying that I can get a bfp before Christmas. I'm sure everyone is trying to get a bfp for Christmas as well so baby dust for everyone!
 
Love it when your scan confirms you never even ovulated. Will save a fortune on tests !!!!!
 
Bragging baby posts on Facebook.. A constant reminder of what I don't have. Hopefully I'll be talking a my baby in my womb soon.. Ug CD 2 today.
 
Bragging baby posts on Facebook.. A constant reminder of what I don't have. Hopefully I'll be talking a my baby in my womb soon.. Ug CD 2 today.

Don't get me started with the "share if you love your son" or "share if you'd do anything for you child" like as if it's some exclusive club. I hide those every time. Even deleted someone because I couldn't take it anymore that her whole profile was nothing but about her being a mom.
 
AF finally showed, about time. couldn't stand the wait any longer although I could have done without the return of the crippling raging cramps. Hoping we all get a Christmas bfp. not sure how much longer I can go with bfn's. Almost starting to hate being around children and that scares me because I once was that person that all the kids came to at parties and loved to be around them. I hate the person that I've become.
 
I've become more irritable about my sisters showing up with my nephews. Like I don't wanna be around em especially at AF time. I feel so selfish but I just can't handle bfns anymore & seeing kids only depresses me more. I can hardly even stand to watch TV anymore there's never anything that doesn't revolve pregnancy or babies etc. So annoying like I can't enjoy anything anymore :/
 
Argh. I have tons of things to vent about...1 year and 1 month of trying and it has taken a toll on me. I swear I see pregnant women EVERYWHERE. When I read about a celebrity getting pregnant quickly it just makes me want to scream!! It seems as if everyone else can get pregnant except for me! Though I know this is not true...I haven't been tested for fertility issues yet..kind of scared to do that to be honest. I don't make a lot of money...so I feel as if my options are limited. I am from the US, but living in a foreign country now...so it makes it more difficult....
 
Watching pregnancy announcements on Youtube.

I don't know why.

OMG did that the first month we were TTC! Was so convinced that I needed to have a plan because the BFP was going to come quick! HAHA What a joke!

Currently waiting for AF... not sure when she will come because I don't know when I O'd. I don't know when I O'd because OPKs wouldn't work after I had my mc last month. Sooo... tick tock. When she'll show, nobody knows!! In the meantime I must refrain from drinking and consuming caffeine "just in case". Ha Happy Holidays!!!!!!!! ugh. :coffee:
 

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