Trying To Conceive #1 Only Vent Thread

[ashntony]

Well, here I am CD 57. 2nd annovulatory cycle this year. Making my last 3 cycles annovulatory. Hoping that when I order my Fertilaid on Friday I start ovulating. I am so tired of trying it is almost like it is all for nothing. If I take 3 month's worth of Fertilaid and I still do not ovulate then I will be getting ahold of a doctor and see if they will do some tests for pcos.

 

[Limm]

25 days late. Took a First Response just now. No sign of a second line. Guess there's something wrong with me. I hate this. I'm 26 I shouldn't be having problems like this! I don't even want to try anymore. My husband doesn't seem to really care either way anymore. I have no one to talk to about this. I feel really alone.

You're definitely not alone! Here if you want to chat about it all.

STILL late. I'm sick of this. I would do another HPT if I didn't think it would be a huge waste of time and money. Chances are I probably will anyways. I'm almost beyond caring about seeing a second line and wonder if I should just give up for now.

 

[tamithomas]

Why does TTC compatible lubricant have to be so expensive!!!!!!

 

[MomandNurse2b]

offically been ttc#1 for a year!!!!!!!!!! is this ever going to happen?

& to all the people i keep hearing say 'i conceived in the first month, go die. i'm sick of hearing it!

Dear friend,
\totally couldn't agree more!!!

Thank you for being brave enough to say what I have been thinking!!

I am also sick of the "why would you want to bring a baby into this world?" question from people who have kids, and also the "well, you have time, you're only 32," remarks, and the "oh, I thought you didn't want kids", or the classic, "just don't stress over it and that is when it will happen" line.

I am like .... S T F U, B!!!

But, maybe thats just the hormones, huh??

(Thats my story/excuse anyway)

High 5, girl!!

Baby dust to you!!

 

[Sam10]

25 days late. Took a First Response just now. No sign of a second line. Guess there's something wrong with me. I hate this. I'm 26 I shouldn't be having problems like this! I don't even want to try anymore. My husband doesn't seem to really care either way anymore. I have no one to talk to about this. I feel really alone.

You're definitely not alone! Here if you want to chat about it all.

STILL late. I'm sick of this. I would do another HPT if I didn't think it would be a huge waste of time and money. Chances are I probably will anyways. I'm almost beyond caring about seeing a second line and wonder if I should just give up for now.

I may take you up on that because I feel really lonely. Seriously I do not feel like anyone in my life can relate. I keep getting told that it will happen when it happens. That doesn't make me feel better. There isn't a guarantee that it will happen. So many people have children and they do not want them. It breaks my heart that we have to work so hard to make it happen. I feel like doing another test but I know it's going to kill me to see another negative test.

*Sigh* Just as I assumed. A nice dark negative.

 

[Limm]

25 days late. Took a First Response just now. No sign of a second line. Guess there's something wrong with me. I hate this. I'm 26 I shouldn't be having problems like this! I don't even want to try anymore. My husband doesn't seem to really care either way anymore. I have no one to talk to about this. I feel really alone.

You're definitely not alone! Here if you want to chat about it all.

STILL late. I'm sick of this. I would do another HPT if I didn't think it would be a huge waste of time and money. Chances are I probably will anyways. I'm almost beyond caring about seeing a second line and wonder if I should just give up for now.

I may take you up on that because I feel really lonely. Seriously I do not feel like anyone in my life can relate. I keep getting told that it will happen when it happens. That doesn't make me feel better. There isn't a guarantee that it will happen. So many people have children and they do not want them. It breaks my heart that we have to work so hard to make it happen. I feel like doing another test but I know it's going to kill me to see another negative test.

*Sigh* Just as I assumed. A nice dark negative.

Mine was negative too.

I constantly get people telling me that I'm probably 45 days late because of stress. I've always had stress in my life, but it never put off my periods this long before! Also the people who tell me not to stress are the people who either don't have kids through choice or who conceived easily. What's more annoying is that they haven't had to go through all the tests and crap that I've had to since day one of actively trying.

End of mini rant.

Feel free to PM me if you want to chat about anything hun.

 

[Sam10]

Came back to look at the test around the 7 minute mark and I kind of see a second line with some color...damn. Now I don't know what to think.

 

[FireLyte]

Came back to look at the test around the 7 minute mark and I kind of see a second line with some color...damn. Now I don't know what to think.

What do the test instructions say on how long the results are good for? I don't know about the HPT's I use, but the OPK's I have are good for something like 8 hours, once they have a result showing.

My vent: having insanely irregular AF's, followed by only two naturally occurring AF's in the past year, is beyond frustrating. What makes it worse is when I start to symptom spot, even though I have no clue when I've actually ovulated. This results in me doing a test every two weeks, because you never know, but arrrggh! I just tested last week, and I refuse to do another until Friday. Maybe my symptom spotting means AF is just around the corner (which at this point would be almost as welcome as a BFP).

 

[Limm]

Seems to be that no matter what I do I'm still miserable.
AF is on the verge of being declared dead.
Job Centre tell me I'm not doing enough and should look for work outside of my home town. When I try harder and get an interview outside of my home town they still tell me I'm not doing good enough and that it was silly of me to go to the interview because it's far from where I live.
Husband hasn't made any advances at me for nearly a week. I get sick of always having to make the first move with him.
Most of my Facebook is filled with people taking photos of their children every hour from different angles. I swear these children will grow up drawing pictures of their parents with cameras for heads.
Despite getting JSA fortnightly it will all be mostly spent on paying off debts.
I don't have any friends I can talk to without them coming up with excuses and conclusions, rather than just helping me take my mind off stuff by doing things.
My depression seems to making a comeback because I can't seem to shrug off this pessimistic feeling of being doomed forever. That and I also feel guilty for feeling sorry for myself.

 

[tamithomas]

Party time, a BFP announcement from someone who's girlfriend just barely turned 18 seems to be a trend on my facebook list, barely 18 year olds getting knocked up. And predictable as usual it was unexpected. A good reminder why I usually hang around older friends.

Disclaimer: I have nothing against teen parents. It just seems unfair that I just passed my 23rd bday a couple of weeks ago (started ttc at 19) and I see younger people having no problem.

It hurts being at what everyone calls the peek of fertility age yet not being able to do what nature intended.

 

[wellsk]

I know the feeling Tami, don't get me wrong... most of them are around my age on my facebook (maybe a year younger usually), which is fine. Don't get me wrong, as long as the baby is going to be your responsibility and well cared for I don't really care about age.
However, most of those I know have absolutely no money, living with mum and dad and they weren't trying for a baby. But weren't using protection

What on earth did you expect was gonna happen?!

 

[Limm]

However, most of those I know have absolutely no money, living with mum and dad...

 

[wellsk]

Limm, you took it out of the rest of the context

 

[AlyCon]

Must be nice to get pregnant without trying or even giving it a second thought. It just sucks that I won't know that feeling of pure shock and surprise. I get so jealous when I hear those stories like "I was a day late so i took a test just for the heck of it and BFP! We weren't even trying!" and I also hate when people who got surprise BFPs try to give advice. I mean seriously you just admitted you weren't trying so where is all this expertise coming from? Oh I know, you're pulling it out of your ass!!!

Ughhh I'm so moody because I'm sitting here having my fake period looking on FB and all I see are preggos and babies. Sigh..

 

[Hoping girl 2]

And... rant!

First month using OPKs. Was really excited because up until now I've only been temping, and ff and I had different views on when I ovulated (according to me, I ovulate around cd12, according to ff it's more like cd 15). So I figured this would help me determine once and for all when I ovulate. And here I am at cd 12 and my OPKs are coming as white as now. Really, completely white. Maybe a VERY faint line if I give it the whole 10 minutes. So, rants are:

1. I know i will (hopefully) still get my positive OPK but I want - finally - to have at least ONE test turn positive. Ok, I know it sound silly, it wouldn't be a BFP, but at this moment I'll take anything. It would be lovely to see SOMETHING come out positive and SOMETHING telling me my body is working well.

2. These results then point to the fact that maybe ff is right and I do ovulate on cd15... which would be fine except my cycles are normally 26 days long!!!!!!!!!! Making my luteal phase around 10-11 days, which according to my research is too short and could be a sign of luteal phase defect! So now fretting and worrying that there IS in fact something wrong. ARRRRRGH!

Last cycle I had late ovulation due to illness though and I was 4 days 'late'... hopefully this means my luteal phase is getting longer???????? NEED TO KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON!!!!!!!!!

 

[Angelgirl4573]

Well, my fears were confirmed.... got me right on time today. First thing this morning, just like predicted...

Texted DF to let him know this month was a bust and he replied with "next time sweetheart"...only I am really thinking next time won't be coming for awhile. I've lost interest in trying for awhile... I already have a lot of anxiety and post traumatic stress disorder...I feel my constant let down every month is only making matters worse. I feel like I need to work on myself before I can truly focus on having my bundle. I love my DF more than anything and I know he wants this so so bad, but he doesn't quite understand how it feels to be the woman in the deal. How it feels to think your own body has everything against you. Men seem to think conception is simple and should happen whenever they say so...if only that was true. I plan on sitting him down tonight and telling him I wanna focus on myself, and us...and our wedding coming in October. I'm trying to tell myself now that if I get preggo next cycle, I'll be preggo for my wedding. Which means Maternity Wedding Dress. Hehe. (Managed a tiny smile there)....

So maybe it's best to wait...we'll see...best of luck to my follow TTC #1's...

 

[Angelgirl4573]

I really love the show Grimm and was so happy that it returned. However, today was NOT the day for them pull what I hate the most in shows. The "one night stand = bfp"/ Woman purposely tried to TTC with the man without him knowing and succeeded stunt. Last thing I want to see when I've had about 6 Advil's through the course of the day and curled up in a ball. Not to mention, so unrealistic how she gets the BFP not even 2 days later. I know it's just a show but c'mon..make it a bit more realistic!

We also watch Grimm. Love it! My DH is away so well be watching that episode tomorrow night. It's one of my pet peeves how much they skew stuff like that. A little is ok (it's tv) but sometimes it's like 'seriously?' Lol

Whoops, sorry for the mini spoiler. At least I didn't put in names lol. But yea if they're going to make those kinds of storylines at least make it believable even if it's in a show about mystical creatures

Did you happen to watch Twilight: Breaking Dawn Pt. 1?? Most unrealistic pregnancy and birthing EVER!! If only TWW was actually that simple. Day 1: BD...Day 2: Throw Up...and Day 3: POAS, GET BFP!! Wouldn't we all just love that???

 

[Astridastrid]

I flipping hate doctors I don't trust them I don't like them!! They treat everyone like we were all made the exact same on a manufacturing line and barely even listen to you once they think they have figured out what's wrong with you. They don't want to hear the rest of the story because they have loads of other patients outside waiting and so they listen quicker than u speak and either prescribe something they have prescribed for 10 other people that day already or tell you that nothing is wrong with you (even though its obvious there is) so that they can get u out the office quickly and get in the next patient. Arghhhhhhhhhhhh I HATE THEM !

 

[LoveMyTripawd]

I know it's a couple weeks away, but I am not looking forward to Easter! My SIL and cousin are both pregnant so that's all we are going to hear about. For hours! My cousin thrives on attention so I know they're going to talk about it nonstop and bond over their pregnancies and shit and I'm going to sit there and try not to cry. I am on cycle 10 and feel like this is never going to happen for me and DH. Meanwhile, my whole damn family is getting knocked up! Ugh! My brother and SIL know that DH and I have been trying this long and it's like they LOVE rubbing it in! I just don't get it....

 

[Limm]

Got a call today and was told I'm no longer booked for an ultrasound.

So that's it. I have to sit here and wait for my AF to arrive. The AF that has been absent for 46+ days.

I've got to just sit here, like a duck.

... Or chicken.