Trying To Conceive #1 Only Vent Thread

[Kwaggy]

Any step mamas out there???
Its so hard having a constant reminder of what I dont have! And people say If you dont have a baby at least you have your step children.
Its not the same. I love my step Daughters but I want a baby of my own.

 

[wellsk]

Argh! I'm looking for a clearblue fertility monitor on eBay...
Every single person who's selling one has to mention that they're now pregnant after using it.

I really don't give a shit that you got pregnant!!!

 

[Evermore]

Venting is exactly what I feel like doing today- so glad this thread exists!

Like many of you, pregnant women seem to be everywhere around me! A friend recently gave birth and all through her pregnancy I experienced jealousy that I didn't even know I had in me! She conceived in her first cycle. They are both lovely people and totally deserve it, but I think that's what makes it worse for me. My hubby and I are at the same point in our lives as them. We are lovely, deserving people too! Why do some people have such a seemingly easy time with everything?

I am only in my 2nd cycle, so I know it might be crazy for me to already feel so bitter. I kind of scare myself! But to be fair, I've been wanting this for way longer than my DH, and now that he's ready I feel like I don't have an ounce of patience left

 

[shorty42383]

Any step mamas out there???
Its so hard having a constant reminder of what I dont have! And people say If you dont have a baby at least you have your step children.
Its not the same. I love my step Daughters but I want a baby of my own.

I hear ya Girl! I have a 4 year old stepson and I love hime but he is not my child... and you better believe his mother reminds me of that every chance I get! I want to be able to have a child of my own that I can raise the way I feel is best! It is a struggle!

I dont know about you but my husbands ex makes every day difficult for us and I get mad that she (an awful human being) was able to have a child and I am still not pregnant!

 

[Kwaggy]

Any step mamas out there???
Its so hard having a constant reminder of what I dont have! And people say If you dont have a baby at least you have your step children.
Its not the same. I love my step Daughters but I want a baby of my own.

I hear ya Girl! I have a 4 year old stepson and I love hime but he is not my child... and you better believe his mother reminds me of that every chance I get! I want to be able to have a child of my own that I can raise the way I feel is best! It is a struggle!

I dont know about you but my husbands ex makes every day difficult for us and I get mad that she (an awful human being) was able to have a child and I am still not pregnant!

...

 

[prayers12]

My friend had her baby today & I'm happy for her n all but I still feel so sad for me cuz we both were TTC & she fell pregnant instantly & now she's had her baby & I'm still not pregnant :/

I know how you feel. Two of my closest friends are pregnant and both got pregnant on their 2 cycle. And here my DH and I have been trying for two years...

 

[prayers12]

I got three texts from my friend today telling me she absolutely needs/wants to see me very soon. I ignored a couple messages from her a week or so ago. I already know why she "urgently" needs to see me. I know she started TTC #2 in January. She knows we've been trying for 7 months with PCOS.

She's totally pregnant and trying to "soften the blow" or something lame. Honey, just tell me your news via text and get it over with. That way I can give you your congrats with text words while I do my ugly cry. Please don't put me through the misery of sitting through an entire dinner with you congratulating you over and over about blessing number 2, while I attempt to minimalize my suffering and pain and you suggest I relax and/or adopt or try IVF.

Seriously, a simple "I'm pregnant" text with suffice.

I know what you mean! I have a friend who is pregnant with #2 after only trying for a couple months. She complains to me about how her pregnancy is so horrible and how Im "lucky" that I dont have to deal with it.

Or they complain that they didn't get pregnant on the first month and call you crying about it.... Then they get pregnant the next month. So now I have to hear about the sickness and how much weight they are gaining. And being asked to help plan gender reveal parties...

 

[ashntony]

Well now that my DH and i are having financial issues everyone wants us to wait on ttc... the bad part is i think they are right...

 

[xQuinnx]

Dear AF,

You have always been normal and on time despite any amount of stress or illness but now, NOW when I decide to TTC you are missing in action?! For what is pretty much 2 months?!

Irony sucks

 

[AlyCon]

I hate line pregnancy tests!!! Why can't they all be digital?!! All this crap about faint positives and evap lines and just my own mind playing tricks on me is driving me insane!!! Whoever invented these line tests was an evil genius!! And I'm betting a MAN! because I don't think any woman would invent (and charge insane prices for) this kind of TORTURE DEVICE! Because that's really all these stupid tests are! They should make them all digital or just leave it to the doctors to determine! All this line crap is giving me anxiety

 

[Limm]

SIL has only just found out about us TTC and already has told me about how she saw something on the telly about fertility and that if I lost weight and stopped stressing about it I would find it easier to conceive.

Okay, so she said sorry if it seemed offensive and I said it wasn't, but it kind of is. I'm not the type to kick off over something easily. However, it was as if she was trying to make out like that was a simple solution to my problem. I'm very aware that I am overweight (in an ideal world I would lose 7 stone by tomorrow with a chocolate diet) but I'm not as stressed about it as people keep making out that I am. Okay, so I vent on here, but that's only because I don't anywhere else.

Kinda peeved now. Not a fan of people playing the role of a doctor when it involves sensitive issues.

 

[tamithomas]

Any step mamas out there???
Its so hard having a constant reminder of what I dont have! And people say If you dont have a baby at least you have your step children.
Its not the same. I love my step Daughters but I want a baby of my own.

I can sort of relate. Although I have never met my step daughter for reasons I can not get into (DH did nothing wrong just to get that clear) I get peeved and bite my tongue when my DH goes on and on about her. I know he doesn't mean it but it always makes me jealous that he had a chance to know what it feels like to be a parent.

 

[Kwaggy]

Any step mamas out there???
Its so hard having a constant reminder of what I dont have! And people say If you dont have a baby at least you have your step children.
Its not the same. I love my step Daughters but I want a baby of my own.

I can sort of relate. Although I have never met my step daughter for reasons I can not get into (DH did nothing wrong just to get that clear) I get peeved and bite my tongue when my DH goes on and on about her. I know he doesn't mean it but it always makes me jealous that he had a chance to know what it feels like to be a parent.

I know what you mean, my hubbys ex is always using the kids as pawns to get what she wants and she constantly refuses to let us have visitation. I tend to get jealous too, although I love them every time we see them its like little walking reminders of what I dont have.

 

[tamithomas]

It's the "my daughter used to listen to this, my daughter used to say that, this happened with my daughter, this happened at her delivery" that I silently bite my tongue because he has every right to talk about her but knowing he may never be able to say those types of stories with our own really breaks me inside. I try not to hold it against him because well it was way before I met him but yea, can't help it at times but I never give him the cold shoulder for it because he doesn't mean it.

We did talk about it once my feelings about it and we agreed for him to be able to talk about her but not as frequent as he did before our talk. Before I mentioned it to him, it wasn't unusual for him to talk about her on a daily basis. At our two year mark I just spilled the beans. The conversation didn't start off too well but at least we reached an agreement at the end. After all I can't make him block out his passed as he didn't have a baby in the passed just to spite me and he still loves her no matter what so at least we reached an agreement. Still hurts no matter what though. I'm sure though it won't hurt as much if we ever get a bfp but for now even though he doesn't mean it whatsoever but every time he does mention her it's a small rub in the face that he's had the chance before and I haven't.

The worst one was when he went on about what the schedule was like when X (prefer to keep the name anonymous online) would wake up for a feeding and changing. Basically describing my dream.

Wow guess I had a lot to unload with..apologies for the long ramble lol. But "thanks" to the mother just like you he can't see her either.

 

[Kwaggy]

It's the "my daughter used to listen to this, my daughter used to say that, this happened with my daughter, this happened at her delivery" that I silently bite my tongue because he has every right to talk about her but knowing he may never be able to say those types of stories with our own really breaks me inside. I try not to hold it against him because well it was way before I met him but yea, can't help it at times but I never give him the cold shoulder for it because he doesn't mean it.

We did talk about it once my feelings about it and we agreed for him to be able to talk about her but not as frequent as he did before our talk. Before I mentioned it to him, it wasn't unusual for him to talk about her on a daily basis. At our two year mark I just spilled the beans. The conversation didn't start off too well but at least we reached an agreement at the end. After all I can't make him block out his passed as he didn't have a baby in the passed just to spite me and he still loves her no matter what so at least we reached an agreement. Still hurts no matter what though. I'm sure though it won't hurt as much if we ever get a bfp but for now even though he doesn't mean it whatsoever but every time he does mention her it's a small rub in the face that he's had the chance before and I haven't.

The worst one was when he went on about what the schedule was like when X (prefer to keep the name anonymous online) would wake up for a feeding and changing. Basically describing my dream.

Wow guess I had a lot to unload with..apologies for the long ramble lol. But "thanks" to the mother just like you he can't see her either.

I dont think my hubby really understands how I feel, I know he wants another baby...but he doesn't realize how it feels to not have one and want it so badly. He has already experienced the Joy, and some days I feel like its never going to happen for me. It warms my heart to see him interact with his kids(when the witch allows us to see them) because he is a great father, but I cant help but be Jealous of what he shares with his exwife but not with me.

 

[tamithomas]

It's the "my daughter used to listen to this, my daughter used to say that, this happened with my daughter, this happened at her delivery" that I silently bite my tongue because he has every right to talk about her but knowing he may never be able to say those types of stories with our own really breaks me inside. I try not to hold it against him because well it was way before I met him but yea, can't help it at times but I never give him the cold shoulder for it because he doesn't mean it.

We did talk about it once my feelings about it and we agreed for him to be able to talk about her but not as frequent as he did before our talk. Before I mentioned it to him, it wasn't unusual for him to talk about her on a daily basis. At our two year mark I just spilled the beans. The conversation didn't start off too well but at least we reached an agreement at the end. After all I can't make him block out his passed as he didn't have a baby in the passed just to spite me and he still loves her no matter what so at least we reached an agreement. Still hurts no matter what though. I'm sure though it won't hurt as much if we ever get a bfp but for now even though he doesn't mean it whatsoever but every time he does mention her it's a small rub in the face that he's had the chance before and I haven't.

The worst one was when he went on about what the schedule was like when X (prefer to keep the name anonymous online) would wake up for a feeding and changing. Basically describing my dream.

Wow guess I had a lot to unload with..apologies for the long ramble lol. But "thanks" to the mother just like you he can't see her either.

I dont think my hubby really understands how I feel, I know he wants another baby...but he doesn't realize how it feels to not have one and want it so badly. He has already experienced the Joy, and some days I feel like its never going to happen for me. It warms my heart to see him interact with his kids(when the witch allows us to see them) because he is a great father, but I cant help but be Jealous of what he shares with his exwife but not with me.

I feel you all the way. You're definitely not alone. Even though it's not with my DH's daughter every time he is around a kid no matter the age he has yet to not put a smile on their faces. Even our friends recent baby was only at the age of 2 months old who could barely keep focus for 30 seconds managed to keep focus for a good 5 minutes and smiled most of that 5 minutes. Was touching yes sad at the same time even though I "smiled" the whole time. Hopefully we get to see our DH's become fathers in the future

 

[tamithomas]

I follow a youtuber and to avoid bringing bad remarks to her channel, you may recognize the title if you follow her but I will still keep it anonymous. She recently made a video called fear of pregnancy. She was great, loved her honesty about it..until the end of it when she started saying how you have control over how healthy your pregnancy is and that what got her to get such an easy one was her happy mind. On behalf of every M/C or stillborn...get bent! Women who go through tough pregnancies or have complications it is NOT their fault!

 

[AlyCon]

I'm so over this shit.

 

[Ladybuggz]

Fed up reading terrible stories on news websites about child abuse. I'd have happily adopted any of those children, it breaks my heart to read how some children have been abused, they're a precious gift, they should be loved and cared for.

 

[sheshe]

Hi everyone! I am new to this thread. My hubby and I (29 yrs old) have been ttc since the last 4 months. I just got my period today and I am devastated. I dunno how everyone does it. I am at work right now so I am trying not to cry. I have been using OPKs and hitting the right dates with my hubby. Dunno what to do, so lost! Any advice?