Trying To Conceive After Tubal Reversal

[FaithHopeLove]

Momma: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

 

[Dash]

CDNMom- still thinking about you! Hoping they gave you some good news today!

 

[cdnmom11]

Hey guys. So, bad news. My beta was 30 The dr is pretty sure it's ectopic since I'm not bleeding. I go tomorrow and they will book an emergency U/S. I don't think there's any hope since my numbers didn't double. I'm not going to pretend I'm not soooooo sad. I know it's early and I've only been pregnant for like a minute but f#$%, why do I have to feel so pregnant? Thanks for your prayers...

 

[Dash]

I'm really sorry.

 

[FaithHopeLove]

Ohhhh, CDN, I'm so, so sorry

 

[cdnmom11]

Thanks guys. It's ok. I'm just grateful I know i can get pregnant. I will keep you all posted on the U/S but I hope it's just over soon so I can get back on the train. Thanks again, V.

 

[mommax3]

Thanks guys. It's ok. I'm just grateful I know i can get pregnant. I will keep you all posted on the U/S but I hope it's just over soon so I can get back on the train. Thanks again, V.

hunny im so sorry and I dont care how early you are it still has to hurt your heart! my thoughts and prayers are with you

 

[cdnmom11]

I'm a mess. Kept waking up in the middle of the night, making all sorts of deals with God. Felt everywhere on my tummy and can't even find that spot that used to be sore. Could they be wrong? Why is my uterus slightly swollen? Why are my bb's so sore if my numbers are so low? My DH is so great but it's hard when he keeps saying "we'll get pregnant again real fast". But I want this one. This must be my hormones. I cannot stop crying and trust me, I am not a crier. I hate sitting here, waiting, not knowing. Not sure what happens next. Will they make me wait if they can't see anything in the uterus? I don't want the shot if they're not sure. Do I get more bloodwork? Do I just slowly go insane? I know it's selfish of me to expect this wouldn't happen to me. When I heard about the risk after my tubal, I thought, nope, not me. My mom had three more babies after her reversal. Anyways, I"m sorry ladies, I'm probably making this very awkward for you all. I mean, really, what can you say? I promise not to become a downer and I will be back to myself shortly. I just don't exactly know how to cope with this. I thought I would be ok if I got pregnant and it didn't "take" because at least I knew I could. I've decided I would have rather never gotten pregnant, thank you very much. My sister said last night (not the one with the miracle baby but my catty sister) said well, it's just cells, not even a baby. Well, they were cells that DH and I made and they're mine and I want them. I think what I couldn't stop thinking about is when you have a miscarriage, they say that there is ususally something wrong with the baby so it's nature's way of taking care of severe, chromosomal issues. I can't help but feel so sad that my baby (ball of cells) may be just fine but is just stuck. Not sure why but that just kills me to think of it trapped there, no chance at all. Omg, I am so sorry. I'm falling apart. I don't even know how I can go to work. Shit. Right in the middle of a huge audit. Ok, deep breath. Need to get it together before the kids get up. You dont' have to reply. I just needed to get this all out. All of my thoughts... I just feel better knowing that you are all there, holding my hand through this.

 

[sweetlissa]

Hey guys. So, bad news. My beta was 30 The dr is pretty sure it's ectopic since I'm not bleeding. I go tomorrow and they will book an emergency U/S. I don't think there's any hope since my numbers didn't double. I'm not going to pretend I'm not soooooo sad. I know it's early and I've only been pregnant for like a minute but f#$%, why do I have to feel so pregnant? Thanks for your prayers...

I am so sorry. If it is ectopic I am glad they caught it early. My doc let mine rupture and I had emergency surgery. You will probably get a shot. I am so sorry. I will keep you and your family in my prayers and if you need to talk about ectopic let me know.

 

[mommax3]

I'm a mess. Kept waking up in the middle of the night, making all sorts of deals with God. Felt everywhere on my tummy and can't even find that spot that used to be sore. Could they be wrong? Why is my uterus slightly swollen? Why are my bb's so sore if my numbers are so low? My DH is so great but it's hard when he keeps saying "we'll get pregnant again real fast". But I want this one. This must be my hormones. I cannot stop crying and trust me, I am not a crier. I hate sitting here, waiting, not knowing. Not sure what happens next. Will they make me wait if they can't see anything in the uterus? I don't want the shot if they're not sure. Do I get more bloodwork? Do I just slowly go insane? I know it's selfish of me to expect this wouldn't happen to me. When I heard about the risk after my tubal, I thought, nope, not me. My mom had three more babies after her reversal. Anyways, I"m sorry ladies, I'm probably making this very awkward for you all. I mean, really, what can you say? I promise not to become a downer and I will be back to myself shortly. I just don't exactly know how to cope with this. I thought I would be ok if I got pregnant and it didn't "take" because at least I knew I could. I've decided I would have rather never gotten pregnant, thank you very much. My sister said last night (not the one with the miracle baby but my catty sister) said well, it's just cells, not even a baby. Well, they were cells that DH and I made and they're mine and I want them. I think what I couldn't stop thinking about is when you have a miscarriage, they say that there is ususally something wrong with the baby so it's nature's way of taking care of severe, chromosomal issues. I can't help but feel so sad that my baby (ball of cells) may be just fine but is just stuck. Not sure why but that just kills me to think of it trapped there, no chance at all. Omg, I am so sorry. I'm falling apart. I don't even know how I can go to work. Shit. Right in the middle of a huge audit. Ok, deep breath. Need to get it together before the kids get up. You dont' have to reply. I just needed to get this all out. All of my thoughts... I just feel better knowing that you are all there, holding my hand through this.

oh hunny im sooooo sorry and dont you dare think your making this awkward for us thats what were here for. I would be a wreck too please believe me and your sister is an ass because that ball of cells is your ball of cells and you have every right for feel so sad andawful about this I honestly dont know what the next step would be after us but maybe dash will chime in she is very informative I feel so much for you and prayed for you this morning If you ever want to talk or vent feel free its ok!

 

[Dash]

Your not burdening us with your feelings- its the whole purpose of this board! We are here to listen, share, and support each other. Perhaps Lissa could be a good support person to you right now, if you PM her? A few of the girls on here have had miscarriages, but Lissa had the most recent ectopic pregnancy- and she came out of it just, even though it took a while for her too.

I think from ere they will do an ultrasound to check for swelling in the tube. Since a blastocyst is way too small to be seen on ultrasound, the swelling of the tube is what gives away the ectopic pregnancy. If that is confirmed, Im thinking that the only safe way to miscarry an ectopic pregnancy without the risk of rupturing your tube is to get the injection. I could be wrong, but I know that waiting to miscarry naturally leaves an increased risk of tubal rupture- if you do not start to miscarry on your own.

Im really sorry. I really am. Please know that ALL your feelings of sadness and heartache are completely valid, dont let anyone take that from you.

 

[sweetlissa]

Thank you dash. I will put a lil info out there. I had an U/S done and all they saw was fluid behind my Uterus. They saw some debris in my tube. But did nothing.
It took me about 3 to 4 weeks to really kind of snap out of it. I was sad. I cried. I just laid around and did nothing. I then found something to keep me busy. After about 3 weeks. And I think that really helped and then we moved so that kept me busy. I still see girls that are pregnant. Infact my daughter came home last night and said her teacher is due October 23rd with twins. I was like O that is nice. When inside I was like hum I was due the 25th of October. It is a day that I am dreading still. It is not easy. And as for friends and family who don't understand how you feel.. NO ONE WILL.. even my husband had a very hard time understanding why I was so upset. He was supportive but thought that I should have bounced back quicker then what I did. It took our 3 yr old about a few weeks to stop saying something about the baby in my tummy. And Our older 2 were very upset about it. I hope this helps. And like I said if you need to talk or anything pm me and I will give you my number we can text or you can call. I am here for you

 

[cdnmom11]

Thank you my friends. I was such a mess this morning. I think I'm more calm now and resigned to the fate of it all. I just popped home from the dr's and it was terribly confusing. My dr wasn't worried about my numbers and won't book an U/S until next Monday or Tuesday because he said it's too early to see anything. I don't think he really understands just how low my numbers are. I'm waiting to hear back from the TR surgeon because at least he has experience with this. I told my dr that I'm scared it will rupture if I wait and he said it's too early and not to worry. He said he's hopeful for a good outcome. What? That almost makes it worse because I know these numbers are soooo bad and there's no hope. Trust me, nobody wants hope more than me but it's a bit cruel to tell myself that it could actually still be ok. I've been getting twinges on my right side but it could be pyschosamatic (sp) and I could be imagining it. Do you guys think it could rupture earlier? Lissa, I tried to look back at your old posts and didn't you start having pain really early? Your numbers were much higher than mine so I'm confused. I did poas this morning and had a darker line than I ever have. I know that doesn't mean anything but I can't deny it made me feel a bit of hope. Sigh... I'm exhausted. I do get another beta tomorrow so that will make for a long day indeed. Thank you for your prayers and hopes for me. It means everything. Love you guys

 

[cdnmom11]

PS, Momma, I am still so excited to hear about your scan. That will really make my day. Please share as soon as you can. You deserve it girl!

 

[sweetlissa]

CDN I wanted to let you know I was 4 weeks and 4 days when I got the pain. And I mean pain like child birth pain. Pain Like I was ok one minute and the next minute I was doubled over in pain crying.. I wasn't spotting or bleeding. Nothing just horrible pain. Before I had a back ache from about 6 DPO. My back ache was so bad that I would crawl on my bed and try to stretch it out. I didn't have cramps or anything like that. My boobs hurt and my tests were very dark. My first number was 27, then 2 days later it was 43. Then it was 97, then 268. The day after the 268 draw was when the pain hit. My doc told me because of the TR that our tubes are more narrow and ectopics rupture earlier. I am not trying to scare you I just want you to have as much info as possible. I will be praying that things turn around and you just have a slow starter. Which is possible. But if you have ANY pain go to the ER and they will do an U/S right away. And if they say anything about debris in the tube or fluid behind your uterus I know it is hard but ask for the shot. Don't let it rupture. I am down to 1 tube because my doc was not pro-active.

 

[Dash]

Good advice Lissa!

MOMMA! How was that ultrasound?!

 

[mommax3]

sorry girls Im really nausous today and have been lying down since I got home ugh! My scan was amazing my little sea monkey is in the perfect spot with a perfect little heartbeat of 112 it was so amazing to see and I felt such relief!!! Iprayed so hard that I would see the heartbeat today so I wouldnt stress and god heard me thank you!

 

[Dash]

YAY for a heartbeat! But boo for nausea.

 

[cdnmom11]

sorry girls Im really nausous today and have been lying down since I got home ugh! My scan was amazing my little sea monkey is in the perfect spot with a perfect little heartbeat of 112 it was so amazing to see and I felt such relief!!! Iprayed so hard that I would see the heartbeat today so I wouldnt stress and god heard me thank you!

OMG!!! That's fantastic news. I am so happy for you! Congratulations Momma!

 

[cdnmom11]

CDN I wanted to let you know I was 4 weeks and 4 days when I got the pain. And I mean pain like child birth pain. Pain Like I was ok one minute and the next minute I was doubled over in pain crying.. I wasn't spotting or bleeding. Nothing just horrible pain. Before I had a back ache from about 6 DPO. My back ache was so bad that I would crawl on my bed and try to stretch it out. I didn't have cramps or anything like that. My boobs hurt and my tests were very dark. My first number was 27, then 2 days later it was 43. Then it was 97, then 268. The day after the 268 draw was when the pain hit. My doc told me because of the TR that our tubes are more narrow and ectopics rupture earlier. I am not trying to scare you I just want you to have as much info as possible. I will be praying that things turn around and you just have a slow starter. Which is possible. But if you have ANY pain go to the ER and they will do an U/S right away. And if they say anything about debris in the tube or fluid behind your uterus I know it is hard but ask for the shot. Don't let it rupture. I am down to 1 tube because my doc was not pro-active.

Oh Lissa, that sounds just awful. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Plus, very confusing numbers too. I'm kind of in wait and see mode. I spoke to the nurse from the TR clinic and she was very sweet. She said it's still too early to say for sure. She did agree that it doesn't look ideal but when on to say that the odd time, they do see very low numbers end up going to a viable pregnancy. She told me to go to the ER if I have any pain and she will call me tomorrow when they get the next betas. Soooo, I am very, very cautiously thinking there may be an iota of hope. I'm praying for the best but expecting the worst. I'll keep you posted. Thanks for the information. Smooch!