TTC #1, 35 year old, starting CD 1, 3rd cycle - Would love a buddy?

[so_anxious]

Hey Renee,

Waz up girl??? So, my scan did go pretty good. The little one's heart is getting so fast now, it's 169bpm. It also looks like a little person, it's too cute. I have to go for an NT scan on May 26th to check for Down's syndrome and other stuff. I also have an OB now who wanted to see me on May 27th but my FS said that he still wants to see me till June 11th, then the OB can take over. So, I guess my OB appointment will be rescheduled.

So, my dear, don't worry about symptom spotting. The only thing I had differently was some cramping around 3-6dpo, which I never had before. It was weird to, the cramping was almost like very very mild labour pains. Although, I don't know what labour pains feel like, but the cramps came like every 5 minutes or so, does that make sense. Anyhow, that was one clue, the second clue was at 9dpo when I thought I was dying in my sleep cause my boobs hurt so much that I thought I was having a heart attack or something. Besides those 2 things, I didn't have anything other symptoms. So, all that stuff you hear about increased cm, blue veins on boobs, etc... never happened to me.

Ok, so when you get your BFP this weekend, I pray to God that your morning sickness isn't as bad as mine. Renee, girl, it's so bad. This morning I drove to my FS and was suppose to go to work after but as I was driving I threw up on myself like 5 times. Thank God, it was only Gatorade that I threw up so it wasn't that nasty but I hauled my ass to get the ultrasound done and then I drove myself home. So, I've only been at work twice this week and today I was suppose to go in to get my laptop so I can work from home. No way in hell was I going in with vomit all over myself. I have taken the meds my doctor gave me but they're sedatives so I can only take them when I'm not at work. Gosh, the things we do for our children!!

Well, girl, I'm praying for you to get a BFP. You're going to be such a wonderful mommy!! That would be the best Mother's Day Gift ever!!

 

[ttc1st_at_40]

ok so no good news to report... got a confirmed negative today via my beta and AF showed up this afternoon as well

I actually took a couple HPT over the weekend, so I was prepped for the call today when they sadly reported we werent sucessfull...

I am very very sad... but luckly we had already decided to immediately start with another cycle if this one didnt work... and since AF came this afternoon... I go for my first CD3 blood work and ultrasound on Wednesday... here we go again !!! hoping for some nice CD3 hormone levels like last month....

nice to hear your little bean has a nice strong heart!! thats awesome news. Hoping that morning sickness is letting ya get to work this week!!

 

[so_anxious]

Hey Sweetheart,

I'm sooo sooo sorry sweetie. I thought for sure this was going to be it. I know you're so sad, I feel for you huni. So, are you still going to proceed with the same protocol. Is there a reason why it didn't take? Was it because the eggs weren't at 8 cells or whatever they call it?

How's your hubby doing? I know this is a huge disappointment for you hun, but you know it's going to happen for you, I know it, Ok!!

Listen, don't worry about my morning sickness, that's nothing, I can deal with that, this is your time now and we are going to focus on getting your pregnant. Okie dokie!!

Please know that I'm praying for you and I'm sending you tons of baby dust.

 

[ttc1st_at_40]

hey there Monique... just checkin in.... been off the boards for a while... all this TTC is starting to get to me... I was unable to start up my 2nd IVF as planned this cycle, as my CD3 Ultrasound, showed I had 3 left over cycst from last month. From what I am told that is common with IVF, and I need to skip a month to get them to pass, and generally they do pass with 1 cycle. Lets hope so...so that I can start in June... so this month I am not doing much... I did go for an HSG test today. My tubes are clear and the radiologist told me that I have a T shaped uterus, which is an abnormality, he said women definately get pregnant with a T shape but it is can also contribute to early miscarriages or pre-term labor. I will know more once my Doc actually reviews the films. I have a phone consult with him on Wednesday so I am sure we will chat about that.

Ya so a little disappointed this month, I believe the Dr will just have me use OPKs this month and send me for a few more ultrasounds so that we can "time intercourse" , then use the projestrone suppositires during my TWW. Only problem with moving on to IVF next month is ...who knows exactly when I will ovulate this month and then when will AF may come, and I am in a wedding the first week of July... so if AF comes too late in June I will not be able to start an IVF cycle until maybe August....ughhh... little sad and disappointed right now Monique... please pray for my patience and for me to try to keep up-spirited....thats not where I am today though unfortnately.....

hope you are doing well...gosh I cant believe you are over 10 weeks already... gosh tell me hows the morning sickness...hoping it is getting better....

 

[so_anxious]

Hi Sweetheart,

How are you feeling now? Do those cysts hurt? Have they checked them again yet to see if they are going away? It may be a good idea to take a rest in between IVFs anyhow.

So, I'm really happy that the HSG said that your tubes are clear, and I think I've heard about the T shaped uterus as well. Let me know what your dr says today.

Ah man, about the wedding, that kinda sucks too. I'm really sorry sweetie that this isn't going the way you'd like. Please know that I am praying for you every day, all I want is for you to be happy.

As for me, I'm on sick leave now cause I've been going into work but I've been throwing up at my desk and running to the washroom to throw up. It's becoming so violent that I'm now throwing up bile. It's horrible. So, my boss told me to stay home and take it easy. I'm on short term disability so I'll still get paid for 3 months, but I'm hoping that it's gets better within 3 weeks, around the end of the first trimester and beginning of second trimester.

Tell me, how is everything else in your life going for you?

 

[so_anxious]

Hi Renee,

How are you sweetheart? I haven't heard from you in a while. I hope you're doing ok. Let me know how you're doing when you get a chance. Okie dokie.

Thinking of you!!

 

[ttc1st_at_40]

Hey there Monique!!! yep its me your "long lost friend" been thinking bout ya, hoping your pregnancy is going great. Wow 13 weeks already... how fast time has flown huh?...so your siggy says you had a 3d scan... that is super cool. Hows the morning sickness ? getting any releive yet?

I Have to apoligize, have not been on here at all lately, I have stopped virtually all TTC "googling", as I have spent the last year doing all that research and driving myself nutz trying to learn all I can about having a baby...so have tried to give it a rest so to speak. I feel I have learned all I need to learn, researched all I need to research on TTC myths/tips...REs..procedures...supplement...positions... days to DTD etc... now all I need to do now is get pregnant. I have however continue to take my temp and logg it into fertility friend via my iphone, but other than that I virtually have ceased all TTC computer crap. But I wanted to stop on here and say hello to you as you have been on my mind. I also have another group of girls that I need to check in on too..(the ones who all are pregnant except me ) but I wanted you to know I am wishing you the best!!!!!! I certainly havent given up on having a baby !! and I hope that day doesnt come as it will be very hard for me to handle to be honest. So this month is all natural with some progestrone supp in the the TWW. Next month we still havent decided what we are going to do...still contimplating going to Philly again for an IVF, or maybe starting up with the Cleveland Clinic. Both as you know cost a lot of $$, and Cleveland is twice the amount as Philly....but they also have a doubled sucess rate... so I will keep you posted.

Oh p.s. me and hubby celebrated our 1st anniversary last night, we had a nice date night out on the town....gosh I love him so much ~!!!

 

[so_anxious]

Hey Renee,

Sorry, it's taken so long to get back to you, I'm still super sick. The morning sickness is really getting to me now. My doctor has doubled my dose but now I'm super sleepy. Ah well, I'll get over it.

So, my dear, how are you doing these days? Are you going to try the IVF again? I know it sucks not to be pregnant now. It took me 6 months to get pregnant and my friend whose 30 took 2 months to get pregnant. So now she's like 1 month behind me. Let me tell you if she had gotten pregnant before me, I would have probably lost it. I don't think men understand how much this means to women.

Don't worry about this forum anymore, if you like I can email you directly so you don't have to come on here. I don't like coming on here either. It can get extremely depressing at times.

So, how's your hubby dealing with all this? You mentioned you had your 1st anniversary recently, that must have been exciting. Mine is on August 28th.

Hey, have you done any other testing or considered using donor eggs or even adoption. I'm seriously considering adoption now. Even if I have another child naturally, I'd like to help another child out and there seems to be a lot of children in my area that are in need of some parents. It's a really hard decision though, especially when you'd like to exhaust all options first to try and have your own child.

Well, my dear, I wish my sister-in-law was more open about how she had her daughter. I think I mentioned to you that we know for sure she had help but we're not entirely sure if she used her own eggs or donor eggs.

So, please let me know how it's going, you can email me directly if you like. Not sure if you have my email address anymore, but I can send it to you if you like.

OK, my dear, I hope to hear from you.

 

[ttc1st_at_40]

Hello There Girl.... just checking in on ya..... hows that bump coming along.

sooooo sorry I have not been on here. I certainly did not abandon you, it just became a very very hard time for me so I discontinued getting on line and obsessing about EVERYTHING.

We still have been trying though.... tried a couple more IVF cycles but I didnt not respond well to the drugs so they were converted to IUIs, in a TWW right now. But who knows.... I am quite depressed now a days thinking it will never happen, but I still have some slight hope.

I really truely hope you are having a great pregnancy. You guys know what your having yet? any names picked out ?

 

[so_anxious]

Hey Renee,

OMG, I'm so happy you posted. I've been kinda worried about you. I know that it's a little tough getting on here and hearing that everyone is preggers, but I'm glad you did.

Yeah, I have a bump now, I look seriously preggers but guess what, I'm still sick. I have the Hypermesis Gravidarum or something like that. It's some severe form of morning sickness. It's been crazy. I have all kinds of things happening to me. I have B12 defiency, a UTI and whenever I try to eat, I get a horrible rash on my chin that keeps getting worse. So, the pregnancy has been quite rough on me. I'm still not at work, my doctor just wants me to rest up and do nothing.

So, every once in a while, I've been trying to check up on you and your fertility friend tracker to see if you've had any luck. I know it's been rough for you but I'm really happy that you're still trying. How's your TWW going for you? Have you thought about see a therapist to help you with your depression. I've also been quite depressed cause I'm so sick all the time, my OB has forced me to see a therapist. It's kind of helpful cause you can talk about things that you can't necessarily talk to your hubby or even friends and family. Anyhow, that's just my 2 cents.

So, I still don't know the sex of the baby, my baby is very shy and keeps hiding from the ultrasound technician, so they can't tell the sex of the baby. I don't think I'll ever know anyhow. I had to go for genetic counselling cause I'm 36 years old and I have sickle cell, so they offered me an amniocentesis but I declined cause the preliminary tests that I had down for chromosoma abnormalities showed that the baby had a 1 in 14,000 chance. Anyhow, the amnio would have told us the sex too but I didn't want the amnio. Didn't seem like I needed one anyhow and the way I was feeling, I just didn't even want to put the baby at any risk of miscarrying.

Good Lord, girl, when you get pregnant, I sure hope you have a comfortable pregnancy. It's been hell so far for me, but I'd go through hell and back for my little one, right!!

How's your hubby holding up? Have you guys gone on any trips or vacations? Maybe you should consider going away? Sometimes that's when women get pregnant!!

 

[ttc1st_at_40]

Hi There Monique...
hope your doing well. I think of you often and hope everything is going well with your pregnancy. Hows the morning sickness...hopefully by this time it has passed ??

nothing really new at all to report with me. I havent been on this site for AGES... but wanted to log on today to check on you. So did you guys find out what your having yet, or you gonna keep it as a surprise?

hubby and I are still trying...looks like its been a little over a year now with no luck, we went to a consult for Donor Egg, not quite sure if we will go that route or not, I went through all the preliminary testing for it and have been excepted into their program, hubby is still struggling with it. Although obviously using a Donor Egg would have NEVER EVER been my first choice, it appears now it may be our ONLY choice for me to be able to have any children. Hubby just hasnt come to gripps with the whole Donor Egg concept and doesnt like the idea too much that in essence the child would be 1/2 someone elses genetics and 1/2 his. Again I would love to have a child that was biologically mine, but that looks like it may never happen. He is thinking about it, and gosh I am so proud of him, he really has come a long long way. From first not even want to do IUIs then NOT wanting to do IVFs and at the end of the day he agreed to BOTH!! so who knows if he may eventually agree to this, if/when he does I hope it is SOON!! HAHA.

Again I sure hope you check in to let me know how your doing. oh and I cant seem to find your email address..I was gonna just send you an email but I couldnt find it...maybe I have to look back through this thread several pages... lots of hugs and kisses to you!!!

 

[Anabella]

Just thought I'd poke my head in on all the old threads I had posted on. Best of luck to you, Renee. I hope you get your bundle, no matter how. Monique, sorry you're still feeling so miserable. I'll PM you soon.

 

[so_anxious]

Hi Renee,

I’m so glad that you posted, I’ve been thinking about you a lot as well. Even the hubby reminded me of you when he was talking about football the other day. I’m sad to say that I still have morning sickness and it’s going to stay with me till this little one pops out. Ah well, what can you do? I did go back to work today but only on a part time and trial basis. We’ll see what happens. I still don’t know what we’re having, this child is very shy and just love to hide, so we’ll have to wait till it’s birthday.

So, I usually check up on your FF chart to see how you’re doing, but I’ve noticed that it hasn’t been updated in a while. I’m glad that you’re still trying. I still think you’ll be able to have a child, maybe not in the usual traditional way, but as you said, if your hubby is open to trying some new things, I think it will work out for you. I know that using a donor egg is going to be a little tough to deal with, but hey I say even if biologically it’s not your own egg, who cares, right!! The baby still needs blood, and nutrients and all that other stuff and it’ll take it from you, so I still have some of your genes per se!! Do you know what I mean? Anyhow, you just have to make sure you find a donor egg that kind of resembles you so that your hubby doesn’t get to weirded out by the concept. He has come a long way from when we first started talking so I think you’ve worn him down!!

Anyhow, I’ll send you a private message with my email address so we can talk that way. Okie dokie. Please let me know if your hubby finally decides to go the donor egg route. I’m excited to hear the process. Lots of hugs and kisses for you too!!