TTC 40 plus!! Lets share the ups and downs!

[LLbean]

I know...big time softie plus he always wanted a child of his own. But he seems ok after all...I showed him the tests but also showed how many people conceive immediately after (my cousin's wife included) so I think he feels better now. He is at the gym...I stayed home to see what happens if anything...so far nothing yet

 

[inkdchick]

i hope you get what you need hun and that all will be ok the next time round. My Oh cries everytime i bleed but we are me 44 and OH 47 and he has no children and would love nothing more than to be a dad so its really hard to see them like that, even tho its harder for us but we will get there i just know it ! xx

 

[Spoomie]

AFM - Steve did the deed, we have a new consultant and MUCH more pro-active than the old dud. He wants to test my ANA and thrombophillia and thyroid before we do anything so it's a race against the clock if we decide to go for this month...£££££££ OMG! WHAT SHALL WE DO?!

Lots of love and hugs to you all, you have kept me sane whilst I've been away from my home for a month. Can't wait to get back on Monday, last opera tomorrow night x

Hi Reb

The new guy sounds like exactly the man for the job. I'm sure it will help Steve to feel more positive about the whole process too.

It's great that you're almost on your way home. Let us know what time your flight gets in and one of us will come and collect you from the airport

 

[Spoomie]

Reb: Thanks for all of your kind notes. I'm in a blue funk. I had a nice time with OH, but there was tension and sadness that hasn't been there since after the last MC and now he's gone until August 12th and we're in a bit of a distant-feeling moment. Probably because I feel lonely and needy as hell and he's buried in work from having to take time off to care for me, etc. Add in the fact that we missed this month's fertile window and we're not in a great place. I'm around, stalking you all, but not feeling much PMA. I am glad that you got another consultant though! That makes me feel optimistic!

Everyone else: I'm a bit of an Eeyore at the moment. So I'm hiding a bit. Sorry. I hope you're all doing well. I'm sure I'll snap out of it at some point. Lots of to you all!

Big to you Sam. I really feel for you. I'm sure (sadly) you know from experience of your previous mc that the most difficult period is actually once the initial shock wears off and real life resumes...except it doesn't. The initial period of grieving is generally a time when you can easily support each other because it's happening in real time for both of you and I'm certain your OH was right there alongside you because I recall he was very distressed by events. I discussed this very issue with the bereavement counsellor and I have come to see that while the neediness and anguish goes on almost unabated for a woman (wild mc hormones as well as huge sadness - YOU ARE NORMAL) it is generally much easier for a man to compartmentalise. This imbalance is what leads to the feelings of distance, because you both seem to be in very different places at the moment. I recall being astonished by the speed at which my DH went from crying like a baby to being able to function in his professional life again, while I still struggled to form a sentence. If I'm honest, this in turn made me feel angry towards him because I still needed his support/reassurance/to be handled with kid gloves and to know that we were BOTH devastated by our loss. It may also help you to view his distance from you - emotional not geographic - as a time when he can recharge so that he is of greater support to you when he comes back (kind of Mars/Venus like, if you've ever read it???) Not wanting to sound like Freud but just to reassure you that it's not abnormal, and MissC is right, you are allowed to have low days, there'd be something wrong if you didn't. Your PMA has not deserted you, it's just resting behind the scenes.

Be kind to your self and be patient

 

[Reb S]

It's great that you're almost on your way home. Let us know what time your flight gets in and one of us will come and collect you from the airport

Silly Spoomie!!!
Okay, party at mine tomorrow - I have fresh produce from Provence, (including a string of garlic that's STINKING out my room!) tapenard, basil and some very odd looking squashed peaches.
GOING HOME!!!

 

[Reb S]

LLbean - how're you doing? I hope you're okay
Lots of love to you and Sam, who's still lurking here.
Miss C - what's up?
Morgans - hope you're enjoying the BD x

 

[Spoomie]

Thanks for your kinds words - yep Spoomie only 2 days apart so we can sympton spot together! Another high on the CBFM Day 7 think I better maybe get started!! legs up on the wall again and all that!!! Have a good weekend ladies

I think I'm going to beat you to ovulation Morgans! Went straight to peak on day 10, never had that happen before, though I know that others have. Just when I think I'm getting a handle on my cycle, it throws me another curve ball......... Day 10, not great, would like to think that O will hold off another day or two, but not an unmitigated disaster either I guess. Just frustrated that Glowie's Maca hasn't had time to be of any use to me this cycle

 

[Spoomie]

It's great that you're almost on your way home. Let us know what time your flight gets in and one of us will come and collect you from the airport

Silly Spoomie!!!
Okay, party at mine tomorrow - I have fresh produce from Provence, (including a string of garlic that's STINKING out my room!) tapenard, basil and some very odd looking squashed peaches.
GOING HOME!!!

I hope you've got a bottle of red tucked away in your suitcase too?!

 

[Glowstar]

Ermmmm white for me please Reb....IF I WAS ALLOWED TO DRINK

Spoomie...maybe it is working...if the egg is ready it's ready I ov'd on CD10 first cycle taking it and got my BFP so CD10 is far from a disaster. Obviously it will mean a shorter cycle but hey if it doesn't work the time goes soooo much quicker

 

[LLbean]

LLbean - how're you doing? I hope you're okay
Lots of love to you and Sam, who's still lurking here.
Miss C - what's up?
Morgans - hope you're enjoying the BD x

I'm fine...Temp dropped below cover line today and digi is finally saying NOT pregnant today so just waiting on AF so we we star again and keeping FXd for a really good sticky bean now. But yes, believe it or not I'm fine and kind of glad to be out of my limbo misery.

How is everyone else? Lets do this!

 

[maryanne67]

Ah so so sorry llbean know exactly what you mean about limbo land x

 

[pip7890]

LLbean

Pip x

 

[LLbean]

thanks girls.. we are not down... it did not work out for a reason BUT it did tell us we CAN do it.

 

[Spoomie]

thanks girls.. we are not down... it did not work out for a reason BUT it did tell us we CAN do it.

Absolutely right that you CAN do it and you WILL again xxx

 

[Reb S]

LLBean, you're AMAZING xxx

 

[samiam]

Big to you Sam. I really feel for you. I'm sure (sadly) you know from experience of your previous mc that the most difficult period is actually once the initial shock wears off and real life resumes...except it doesn't. The initial period of grieving is generally a time when you can easily support each other because it's happening in real time for both of you and I'm certain your OH was right there alongside you because I recall he was very distressed by events. I discussed this very issue with the bereavement counsellor and I have come to see that while the neediness and anguish goes on almost unabated for a woman (wild mc hormones as well as huge sadness - YOU ARE NORMAL) it is generally much easier for a man to compartmentalise. This imbalance is what leads to the feelings of distance, because you both seem to be in very different places at the moment. I recall being astonished by the speed at which my DH went from crying like a baby to being able to function in his professional life again, while I still struggled to form a sentence. If I'm honest, this in turn made me feel angry towards him because I still needed his support/reassurance/to be handled with kid gloves and to know that we were BOTH devastated by our loss. It may also help you to view his distance from you - emotional not geographic - as a time when he can recharge so that he is of greater support to you when he comes back (kind of Mars/Venus like, if you've ever read it???) Not wanting to sound like Freud but just to reassure you that it's not abnormal, and MissC is right, you are allowed to have low days, there'd be something wrong if you didn't. Your PMA has not deserted you, it's just resting behind the scenes.

Be kind to your self and be patient

Spoomie: Thank you. You're right, of course. And OH has called a lot this weekend and is trying to be there for me and I am trying to be full of PMA for him. So we're making an effort for one another and maybe we'll get there. The geographic distance doesn't help, but I don't think it would be better if he were here and emotionally distant, so maybe I need to view this as a necessary healing period for each of us. I was feeling quite angry with him last week for the very reasons that you expressed and that was coming out, so our trip was good, but not as light and full of laughter as I wanted it to, so, of course, I put pressure on it to be that way and that made it worse. I'm really tired and that's not helping either. But I'm going to get back into my running this week and eating better and that should help some.

How are you? CD10! Get busy! The maca seems to be working. I swear by it. I do.

Reb: Sounds like you're bringing a delightful bounty back with you. Glad that Steve found a new FS for you.

LL: You're an incredible, strong woman, Eli. Maybe we will both fall next cycle and be bump buddies.

Miss C: From my meeting yesterday I learned that HSG triples the success rate of pregnancy for three months following the procedure and doubles it for the following 2-3 months. I also learned that femara might be a better choice for you than clomid (see below). Something to consider. . .

AFM: Okay--so I didn't win the free cycle of IVF. But I learned a lot. So I'm going to pass some of it along here. Femara is better than Clomid for a host of reasons--three times the success rate of Clomid, no loss of EWCM, can use it longer (plus it's cheaper). For fibroids, a treatment of femara and northindrone can dramatically shrink them. If they don't shrink, you can have MRI Guided ablation of the uterine fibroids (NO surgery). Men should take saw palmetto, fish oil and zinc. Bitter Melon helps with insulin resistance in PCOS. So, I got something out of it. And I'll be going in for a consult with them to see if there's anything I can do to help the next one stick. I also got the blood tests (the 11 vials of blood they took after the MC) and there are NO issues. No clotting problems. No hormonal things, no hidden infections (hell, I have lived with my cat for 19 years and still haven't had toxoplasmosis? WTF?!). That feels like good and bad news. I was kind of hoping for something that could be "fixed" instead of an indirect diagnosis of "older" eggs.

 

[Morgans19]

I think I'm going to beat you to ovulation Morgans! Went straight to peak on day 10, never had that happen before, though I know that others have. Just when I think I'm getting a handle on my cycle, it throws me another curve ball......... Day 10, not great, would like to think that O will hold off another day or two, but not an unmitigated disaster either I guess. Just frustrated that Glowie's Maca hasn't had time to be of any use to me this cycle[/QUOTE]

LOL you maybe are - my CBFM has given me a high this month from day 6, 7, 8 and today 9 - god only knows!! My "stalker" and best pal Glowie reckons Ill OV Day 11, Day 12 and I have been WARNED that I must use these instead cups. So Ill do as she tells me.........I just get concerned cos of the low sc that we shouldnt BD too much but then scared not doing it enough!! Cant win at all. My plan is to BD 8, 10, 12, 14 or maybe 8,10,11,12 I did an OPK today but its still negative. Temp not changed much either. Good luck Spoomie - everything crossed, including those legs up in the air!!!

 

[Morgans19]

thanks girls.. we are not down... it did not work out for a reason BUT it did tell us we CAN do it.

Absolutely right that you CAN do it and you WILL again xxx

EXACTLY, you can and WILL do it again. Hugs coming your way

 

[LLbean]

so doc said chemical...my doctor was nice and she says if I want she can write me a prescription for progesterone but says that scientifically it has not been proven to make a difference...either way I got in with the fertility specialist for tomorrow at 1pm!

 

[Glowstar]

Sorry Eli, but a for getting that appointment tomorrow

Morgans...BD all you like...I have come the conclusion that the more sperm you get up there and keep the cups in each time the better chance right? techincally if sperm is slow or lesser quantity I think the cups should work to get as MUCH as possible up there so it can have a leisurely swim around waiting for the egg