TTC 40 plus!! Lets share the ups and downs!

[LLbean]

Reb, sorry for the delay but if your issue is NK cells look at my journal...Mon & Jon girl had the same issue and with the treatment they put her on she was successful!!!! She is now pregnant!!!!

 

[Kaelia67]

Thanks Mistyy, I shall keep that in mind. At the moment I'm willing to try anything to see if it helps. I'd eat raw cow bollocks if it helped (seriously) This 8 day lpd thing is bugging the hell out of me. It seems the older we get the more we have to focus on every little thing, or maybe we are just anal like that, who knows? lol
I have heard that it can take 3 months for Vitex (Agnus castus) to work however, so maybe that did help a little for you.

Eugh the dreaded GP visit. I actually put it off today as I am having the heaviest possible AF so it was a pretty good excuse not to go really. The last time I went he was a total prat!
Both myself and the other half went and as my OH is younger than me, my GP practically blamed me for our lack of conception. He insisted my OH didn't need a SA as it was more than likely my age and old eggs...you know the deal right? It was quite amusing to see him eat his words when my FSH and AMH levels came back fine, he told me I was fertile, he also said I had good reserves I then had a scan to check all was well (came back fine) He fobbed off my LPD like I didn't have a clue what I was talking about and made me feel like I was some kind of freak for knowing a little more about my body than he thought I should.

He seemed pretty determined to find something wrong with me lol I totally felt like I was in the line of fire. He had that look on his face like he knew it was me and he was going to prove it. I actually felt guilty, almost like I was hiding something. It was quite pathetic...after all that he eventually asked my OH for an SA. Results were fine with him so he then said it was down to secondary infertility and it will take us longer than most couples. So bloody frustrating. I promised my OH I will go next week. I think I'll try and see another GP. I'm sure I can have the tests done again as that was over 3 years ago. I don't think I can face him looking into my soul again

 

[Miss_C]

I walked into my GP and said the following: (I wrote it all down an memorised it before I got there!!) Right then before we begin I need you to know the following. I am well aware of my age, I am well aware what the statistics etc say but I have educated myself very well before coming to you and as far as my body and fertility goes I may quite possibly have more of a grasp on things than you do. I would like a referral to a fertility specialist but before we do that can we run some basic tests ie my cd3 and cd21 to confirm my fsh levels and if I am in fact ovulating. I have been charting for 12 months and have recently miscarried at 12w1d. Will you help me?

Good luck.

 

[Kaelia67]

Brilliant Miss C!! Thanks for that. I just want them to take us seriously. I shall go prepared this time

 

[Mistyy]

Oh Kaelia, you've hit the nail on the head there. My OH is younger than me too, (10 years ) and yes, i just know the spotlight is going to be turned on me if/when we walk into a doc's room. A year ago i would have held my head high and let it flow over me, but i'm a bit of an emotional wreck since loosing the baby - and i'm sick of falling apart in front of people - it wouldnt look good in front of a GP/fertility specialist either. The last thing i want is someone telling me i'm they think i'm not emotionally ready to ttc - i'd go for their jugular! The thing is with us there is a small'ish chance it IS him, as he's had a couple of groin injurys while kickboxing in the past, plus random testicular pain which the docs cant find a reason for. He's been fretting about his fertility. Part of the reason he was so over the moon when i fell in Jan was that it proved he could father a child after all!

miss c - if i had a pound for the number of times i've run through that exact speech in my head recently ........ Picturing myself in the docs surgery. You're dead right - its important to brace yourself not to be fobbed off - i can imagine othersise being patted on the head and being told to go home and knit myself a bloody knee blanket

Still waiting for that temp rise - 2 days of pos opk's. CD17 today - my most common for ov'ing. Cramps all yesterday. Felt really chirpy yesterday, but quite down today. Hormones? Who knows.

Hope everyone is ok today, how are you all? <Waves> and good vibes to all - and hope everyone is being calm and patient whatever their situation

Biblical rain here today - i suppose at least it is Friday ..... xxx

 

[greens]

I do not temp or POAS (did for a few months a while back but it was too engineered and stressful for me)I have found that I can see/listen to what my body is doing.
Cervical mucus changes are a deffinate give away plus the lusty thoughts increase and on top of that if I look at my self it all gets much plumper.

 

[truly_blessed]

Mistyy I'm not sure how old you are but my DF is 14 years younger than me. We had an MMC in Nov09 after 18 months of TTC. We went for tests in Feb11. My GP was absolutely fine about it, referred me straight away due to my age and said there was no reason why I shouldn't conceive again. All my tests came back fine, DF had slight mobility issues with his sperm and was advised to take zinc and selenium. FS recommended IVF sooner rather than later if we wanted to go down that route but we said we'd go away for 6 months to think about it. In May 11 I got this BFP.

I was convinced it was an issue with me due to my age (41) but DF always said it might be him. Good luck hun

 

[Butterfly67]

All these ladies with their toyboys are making me jealous!!

 

[truly_blessed]

you've never lived if you've not tried it butterfly

 

[Butterfly67]

you've never lived if you've not tried it butterfly

If only truly!

 

[Mistyy]

Butterfly - Ha Ha my ex (17 years married) was older than me. Never pictured myself with a younger man .....

Blessed - oh congrats hun xxx thats heartening. I'm 43. Some days i feel 23 - some days if feel 83! lol

 

[pip7890]

Truly I can't believe you're Third Tri now. Fabulous!

ladies

Pip x

 

[truly_blessed]

I've been following you Pip, only days to go now. I remember ages ago looking at your updates, 20 weeks, 24 weeks, 28 weeks and thinking 'I'm so far behind!' but I seem to be catching up awful quickly now.

 

[Reb S]

Hee hee - toy boys - you girls are lucky, as the men's sperm age makes a difference too, for all that they can occasionally father children in their 70's!
x

 

[Miss_C]

&#8206;6 or 7 Dpo (fffff keeps changing her mind!) and I have some bad cramps and so much creamy discharge I had to put on a liner. Chart shows nothing spectacular and I an now sweating up a storm with a temp of 37.77 and I know temps middle me the day mean nothing but add a little bit of a spacey feeling and just a tiny bit nauseus all is not normal I hope it is all an implantation happening.

DP is 7 years younger than me

 

[Butterfly67]

Fingers crossed miss C

 

[samiam]

Well, I have some bad news, ladies. OH and I are separating. Things just went from bad to worse after the last visit and now, with the anniversary of the first MC approaching next week (and OH refusing to come over), we've decided to take an official break, not only from ttc (which wasn't really happening given that he's never around lately), but also from one another. I'm completely gutted. And I have to keep it all together to finish the semester. There's a part of me that saw this coming after the last loss in July. He really was quite distant when it happened and, I think that a part of him may actually blame me for the loss. I felt abandoned and I was unsure that I wanted to try again with a man who wasn't going to be there for me if I had another loss. So here we are. I cannot help but feel that I've wasted my last chance to have a child AND that trying to take that chance was what ruined things with my partner. I'm completely gutted. Dammit. I'm broken hearted. And I cannot even talk to my friends here about it all, because we were keeping the ttc part a secret. So it's a whole fucking mess.

 

[pip7890]

I'm really sorry to hear that Sam.

Perhaps now is the time to open up to your close friends in real life as you are going to need physical support. You know we are here anytime to offer you emotional support.



Pip x

 

[Mistyy]

Oh Sam. You poor love. Massive hugs to you seeetheart. I'm new and i dont know your story but i feel for you so much and can empathise with some of what you say about ttc putting such a huge strain on a relationship. Just been through a dodgy week here.

As pip says, this might be the time to tell your closest friends whats been going on as they can give you the best support and get you through. You sound like a very strong lady and you will get through this and be fine hun. Its not the end of everything (ttc wise or in general).

Dont blame your self or the ttc though. We make our decisions in life as best we can at the time, and hind sight is not helpful really. You wanted to ttc, and if you hadnt gone ahead and tried then the relationship may still have suffered overtime because of simmering resentment over what could have been. As hard as it's been - and as hard as it is now - you know you've tried, and given it your best shot. You cant ask for more than that from yourself. There's nothing worse than 'if's and maybe's. Its not your fault.

We are all thinking of you petal

Miss C - everything crossed for you here

I recon i've ov'd. Temp shot up this morning. Soooooooo ...... the 2ww.

 

[Butterfly67]

Sam, I'm so sorry hon and I can't say it better than mistyy just has but just to let you know I am thinking about you and sending you virtual hugs