TTC 40 plus!! Lets share the ups and downs!

[racquel1x]

Hi. I'm 44 and ttc. I have 5 children age 22, 17, 19, 11 and 4. All conceived naturally but my partner is 10 years younger than me and we only have our little girl age 4. We only made the decision a couple months ago and i do feel I have wasted time, but it wasn't the right time then. He is only 34 and would clearly love another child. I know my fertility will be low and time is of the essence but any suggestiions for supplements and anyone know if the nhs will aid older women ttc. thank you

 

[Barnabibear]

I'm back with version 2 of last nights lost messeage. I can't remember what I wrote now but I do know every time I use dh's ipad, things go wacky if I try and put a smiley in.

Pippi and Mistyy thank you for your help. I wouldn't have been able to do it without you. My chart is now on, just in case I want to query things with everyone.

Pippi - fingers crossed for your appointment with fertility nurse.

Mistyy - sorry AF got you hunny.

Thanks Maryanne, I had to read your message a good two times, the second very slowly but I follow. I'm not sure if the acupuncture is helping, random cycles being one of them but I'll stick with it for 3 cycles. I would say though that it makes me more paranoid about things. If I haven't had lunch before I go there.... thats bad for fertility, if I have a sandwich and not hot food....that bad for fertility.... I look pale..do I have enough iron...thats bad for fertility. You can see its very motivating.

pdmc - I remember when I got married and people started talking about fascinators I hadn't a clue what they were on about. Its a good word though isn't it.

Anyone know what happened to Garfie?

Raquel1 - Welcome. As far as my experience with the NHS... No help whatsoever.

Hello to everyone else.

 

[garfie]

Hi Ladies sorry didn't mean to worry you I'm here .........

Just had a bit of a tough time - kids are on half term should be fun right? not when the eldest (who has autism) keeps having meltdowns over the silliest (to you and me) things for example a bird pooped on him, we had a short power cut, I ran out of his favourite cereal, he wanted a hug whilst I was in a public loo etc etc

Also lost my uncle recently - life is so unfair he was 52, the sad thing I have one living relative in Scotland now and after she goes I have no connection with Scotland (my dads side).

I can't remember if I told you all that I was going to see a FS as when the doc examined me he said he could feel I was tender

The three options he gave at first before a referral were:

Another Laproscopy
Medicine to bring on the mena pause
Hysterectomy

Anyway in the meantime I carry on and keep TTC

Barni - Don't you just hate it when you type out an essay and the pooter eats it hope the accupuncture starts to help you

Pippi - When is your appointment - good luck hun

Rac - Hi and welcome hun - I'm older 41 and have been told I maybe able to get medication but I wouldn't qualify for IVF on the NHS. This cycle I have drank a small glass of grapefruit juice from when the witch left until O (the time I drank this before I got my BFP) sadly........

PDMC - We all went trick or treating - I collected my Avon brochures at the same time my eldest went as dracula and my youngest went as some ghosty type thing they loved it but boy was it cold and rainy

Misty - to you hun hope you are okay what cd are you on?

Sowanted - Hi hun sorry for your loss it stinks right anyway when I joined this thread I had to ask for a lot of explanations and these ladies are great at explaining things so feel free to ask if you want to know anything and remember you are not alone now

Love to all the other ladies - hopefully next week things will settle down kids are back at school



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[Pippi_elk]

Hi all,

Sorry maryanne about the confusion with your cycle length, I just read your post quickly and misinterpreted. Glad you don't have to wait till cycle 28 to ovulate.

Barnibear; I ofton used hubbies ipad too and after loosing a number of messages I now type it in notepad and then paste it in, at least that way it's saves it the ipad crashes or something or if I happen to leave the window where I am typing.
Glad you got your chart added. Nice looking chart this month...

Garfie, sorry to hear you are having a hard time and sorry to hear about your uncle, 52 is so young. So sad.
You did nt get a lot of options from the dr, option 1 sounds like the only one I'd be doing if you are ttc

Welcome racquel, I don't know what the NHs will offer you but I'm sure they will do some preliminary tests and perhaps offer you some fertility drugs if that is the appropriate treatment for you.

Pdmc;Do you not have fascinators in canada?I think the real "fashionassistas" don't like them but I think they're great to dress up am outfit for a wedding etc. and so much easier to transport if you are travelling to a special occassion.

Afm;
We had our appointment with the fertility nurse yesterday. Bit of a waste of time really. She wants all the blood tests my gp did repeated. The reason my gp did them was so i would not have a delay in the fertility clinic having them done. Husband has already got his appointment for semen analysis so she didnt need to sort that out. They'll call us back in2-3 months to see fertility doctor. Just feel that by making me repeat all the bloods they are just stalling us but she just said they like to have them done twice for confirmation.
She Did nt really discuss any treatment, she was nice but a bit patronising really but I guess she does nt know what level of knowledge we have, But still did nt answer what cd you should get tested on if you ovulate say on cd12.
My progesterone on 7 days post ovulation was 25 whereas she would expect 30 or above but 25 confirms I ovulated. My basal temps are always much lower than they should be ( they highest they ever get to is 36.5 celcius) but no one seems to be picking up on that yet.
I think when they hear you were pregnant before they dismiss anything that might be a little askew with the line "well you got pregnant before".

An old school friend that i don't have a lot of contact with apart from visiting at xmas had healthy twin girls yesterday, my mum had told me she was pregnant but I got a surprise when I found out she had twins. She just turned 42 so there is hope for us yet still.
A work colleague also told me today that she is 3 months pregnant.
So it's just pregnancy and babies everywhere.

Should be ovulating this weekend but hubbie is getting less motivated due to our lack of success but managed to persuade him last night.

 

[Barnabibear]

Hi Pippi, well it sounds like you're going through it a bit at the moment. Ever since we lost Archie pregancies seem to be everywhere. At work while I was off mourning, 2 of the ladies I least like (because they are puffed up with self importance and belittle everyone, got pregnant). When I returned to work there were bumps everytime I walked down the corridor, and now its all about how adorable their babies are. They've every right to be happy I just wish they were more tactful when I'm around because they know what I've been through. I got off track a bit
saying all that, what I wanted to say was I get the "you've been pregnant before" and nothing further too. Why does it take 2 to 3 months to get from an appointment with a nurse to a doctor, is that the way it works in N. Ireland? Is it private?


Garfie - Glad you're still out there I remembered you had an appointment and then you disappeared. to you too. 52 is so young. You weren't given much option if you want to carry on TTC.

All this talk of tests has reminded me that my doc is willing to go through my test results with me, the blood tests that came back essentially normal after Archie's birth, so now I have to get armed with notes from my gatherings on the internet and see what happens... its next weds.

 

[Pippi_elk]

When I returned to work there were bumps everytime I walked down the corridor, and now its all about how adorable their babies are. They've every right to be happy I just wish they were more tactful when I'm around because they know what I've been through. I got off track a bit
saying all that, what I wanted to say was I get the "you've been pregnant before" and nothing further too. Why does it take 2 to 3 months to get from an appointment with a nurse to a doctor, is that the way it works in N. Ireland? Is it private?


Garfie - Glad you're still out there I remembered you had an appointment and then you disappeared. to you too. 52 is so young. You weren't given much option if you want to carry on TTC.

All this talk of tests has reminded me that my doc is willing to go through my test results with me, the blood tests that came back essentially normal after Archie's birth, so now I have to get armed with notes from my gatherings on the internet and see what happens... its next weds.

Glad someone understands barnibear, I think/hope I'd be more tactful if a colleague had lost their baby like you did....but then they don't sound as if they're nice people anyway so best avoid them if you can. Hope there are some other people you work with who are more understanding or who you can have the odd moan to.

I am going on the NHS so hence the wait. When I initially got called I was really pleased but should have know it was too good to be true to be called after only 2 months waiting. So 2 months to see the nurse and then another 2-3 months to see the consultant. I have private health insurance thro work but it won't cover infertility.
Good luck with the dr this week. Hope you have a knowledgable Gp or one who is prepared to refer you.

Hello everyone else....Misty you've been unusually quite. Nise, any news with your adoption?

 

[Mistyy]

Oh i'm lurking Pippi

Just not much to report really. CD10 today. Again. Due to ov next Fri or Sat. Just feeling a bit deflated really. About ttc. May be at the point of accepting defeat

Reading with great interest about all the tests and appointments going on at the mo though ladies. Wishing you all the very best of outcomes of course. Yes, the only time i ever spoke (very briefly) to a doc about ttc he said 'well you were preg X months ago so go home and relax ....' bla bla bla

Welcome racquel. Your situation sounds very similar to mine regards younger DH, trying for a socond family etc. We should have started much earlier, as we only managed a mc together and no glimmers of hope since then. It's easy to say in hindsight though ay?

Waves to Garfie. Sorry to hear you're having a tough time hun. Sorry to hear about your uncle too

Love and good vibes and to everyone else.

 

[pdmcd17]

hi everyone
big hugs too everyone. looks like we've all been emotional.

hi raquel welcome and good luck. the ladies are all wonderful and very supportive

barn how do you like your ipad? df got me a mini im waiting for it to be delivered (he got it engraved). i wanted the mini as i dont want to rebuy my apps lol (i do have a lonovo one- which has only a few free apps on it)
good luck next wed

garfie i hope that the school break is over and your back to routine, sorry to hear aobut your uncle. i know how it is to lose your connection when my nonna died i lost my last connection to italy. also sorry you didnt get better options from the fs.

pip we do have fascinators i honestly didnt know what they were called. im not normally a hat or similar thing kind of girl till recently, so i never paid attention to what things were called
sorry the fs wasnt as productive as you wanted hopefully in a few months you will have way better options

it think for all of us it is hard to see all the bumps and hear about the lo's. i do believe it isnt intentional you just get wrapped up in that world.

hi misty i am still keeping my fxd for you this month.

afm nothing to report af is due any day and since it was a write off month for us, im looking forward to her coming so i can move forward. it has been nice to not symptom spot i knew the symptoms were pms only.

on another note my future sil whos expecting her second (the one im not too keen on) her husband is about to be laid off again. i really feel sorry for her, this happened 2 xs her last pregnancy. i cant imagine that stress again when you have one in daycare and preparing to save to go off on leave in 6months

who knows maybe im softening to her as i realize my feelings were because i was jealous and wanted what she had, and now the only thing i dont have is the baby (but i dont know what are in the cards and maybe its me coming to terms that it may never happen for us and im thankful for the 2 i have

 

[Barnabibear]

barn how do you like your ipad? df got me a mini im waiting for it to be delivered (he got it engraved). i wanted the mini as i dont want to rebuy my apps lol (i do have a lonovo one- which has only a few free apps on it)
good luck next wed

Just a quick one from me... Only got a few minutes but just wanted to say I would love love love an ipad mini, pdmc. I may just ask for one for my birthday next year, it has been mentioned by dh (he's no good at surprises). How lovely of you're dh to get it engraved. How mini is it? Is it handbag size??

 

[Pippi_elk]

Oh i'm lurking Pippi

Just not much to report really. CD10 today. Again. Due to ov next Fri or Sat. Just feeling a bit deflated really. About ttc. May be at the point of accepting defeat

Reading with great interest about all the tests and appointments going on at the mo though ladies. Wishing you all the very best of outcomes of course. Yes, the only time i ever spoke (very briefly) to a doc about ttc he said 'well you were preg X months ago so go home and relax ....' bla bla bla

.

Didn't think you ever lurked Misty so that's why I was wondering where u were.
Would you not consider going back to gp? That was a bit dismissive...telling you to relax. well you tried relaxing and its not working ...
I know maybe there can be noting done but surely they could do some investigation.
I don't know what the future holds for me and maybe it's a waste of time going to a fertility clinic if we re not going to get ivf but just want them to check that there's not something that can be easily fixed.
Maybe I'm just lining myself up for even more disappointment in 6 months time...


Good pdmc that you are getting to a better place with your sil. It's not a nice feeling when you harbour ill feelings (maybe that's not the correct way to phrase it but hope you know what I mean). I suppose seeing her having a hard time makes it easier to be sympathetic and realise that her life is nt as perfect as you imagined it was.

Barnibear, I'd love an iPhone, but can't justify spending such money on a gadget. The mini ipad is a better option price wise. I'll just stick with my crappy phone but When you get used to apple products its hard to try the alternatives.

 

[Celine45]

Hi Ladies-
Just realized that posted in the wrong thread! Anyway, happy to see others TTC. I am 45 and hoping to have #1. Just finished IVF cycle and have beta tomorrow. Very nervous!!

 

[garfie]

Good luck Celine



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[Celine45]

Thx garfie! I need it

 

[Mistyy]

Celine - Hi and good luck Let us know how you get on

PDMCD - You know i know how you feel regards the ol' green eyed monster with your SIL. It reared it's ugly head for me too With me it seemed to be confined to SILs though mostly. I saw my lovely DH watching his mum and dad being so proud of his brother and his sister having their babies this year (not with each other, obviously, with their spouses!) and all the usual family coo'ing and ahh'ing over the babies. I could see it hurting him and that was so painful Because he hasn't and probably wont ever have that lovely experience now. We have both begun to really put it behind us now though. When it's really in our faces at big get togethers, where everyone is literally all seated round the babies who are playing on the floor like a circus, it does still feel a bit much! Lol.

Barnie - it's still early days hun I feel for you with all the baby talk at work. That would have floored me too a year ago. Time heals my lovely.

Pippi - yeah i lurk! I waffle on allot, so sometimes i make an effort to shut up if there's not allot actually going on with me

About tests - (prepare for more waffle) the thing is, TTC for my DH and i started out with us deciding i should get my coil removed and just see what happened. Neither of us were expecting anything, 1. cos of my age, and 2. he's had groin injuries and testicular pain on and off for years. We were both happy either way. I didn't chart, we didn't time BD, i didn't even keep a note of my cycle. We were excited for the first 2 or 3 months - then sort of forgot about it! I just thought good, no more coil's in and out, we can just drift along like this forever! About a year later we planned a holiday for which we had to take malaria tablets. GP said make sure you're not preg or anything. I took a test (kitten played with it on the bathroom floor!) and it was BFP! I was 6 weeks preg

Well anyway - we know the rest - but the point is this whole TTC thing was always meant to be 'come what may - it's not the make or break of us'. So however tempting it is to leg it to a doc for tests for us both, it would feel wrong. And you're right, it would bring heartbreak i suspect, as we cant afford IVF. It would start small, testing my blood etc. Then i'd want him to get a SA, then i can see myself pushing for more and more and getting frantic about time ticking

As it is now - i sort of want to give up, y'know? I'm so tired of the hurt of the whole thing. It was meant to be a happy thing <sigh> Am i making sense? Lol.

Anyway, sorry for the ramble ladies. Love and hugs to all xxx

 

[garfie]

Misty - Aw hun we all understand where you are coming from BIG I also have an attack of the green eyed monster my best friend decides she wants to try for another baby so she tells me whilst I'm having my DNC next thing you know she is pregnant and is coming up 20 weeks (I should be 31 weeks now)

Also my cousin (hubbys side) is pregnant again and I will be seeing her at Christmas (no one told me about this) it kind of slipped out in conversation as they were wondering how I'd react.

How I'd react I'll bloody tell you I cried myself to sleep - but I am sure I am grown up enough to behave decently at a family gathering and to paste that smile on my face right

So yes hun I understand exactly where you are coming from but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger right

AFM - 8DPO ff has messed about with my chart so much this month I began testing on November the 5th anyway once I start I can't stop (a bit like eating pringles) so today was BFN no surprise really

Love to all you ladies



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[Nise]

Ladies, long time no stalk! I've been 'T'up North' working for the last 6 weeks, crazy busy = shit stalking!

Unfortunately things didn't work out quite how I'd hoped while I was up there and though I was in the same city as LG, I was unable to have any contact with her which was extremely frustrating. The 2nd to last court hearing was almost 4 weeks ago and unfortunately the birth parents didn't bother to turn up and their solicitors had had no contact with them so everything just remained in limbo - this section 20 takes some over-turning I can tell you. The SW put forward her decision and has asked for an interim residents order to be made in favour of me and OH - the earliest available hearing to decide this is the 30th Nov (this should be the final hearing) so we continue to wait. On a brighter note, I've had a lot of correspondence with her current foster family who have been fabulous and very supportive, sending me loads of pictures and emails - obviously not from LG herself - unfortunately she's not allowed to, but I've continued to send her weekly cards so she knows how we feel and that she is very wanted. Hopefully this will all pay off at the next hearing.

Latest news came from Sil last night, she rang to tell me that apparently the birth father was put back in prison yesterday for stealing a 50" plasma tv and £200 worth of meat!!! what a bozo.

Hi and welcome to the new ladies, Racquel, Pippi & Sowanted, nice to see some new faces in here.

Pippi - sorry about the weird 21 day cycle, however I can trump you on that one. Shortly after I started the job up North, I also started AF - I was just 16 days into the cycle - very weird, but I was pretty run down with a re-ocurring cold, tonsillitis and a dose of conjunctivitis - what a mess! Anyway, I'm much better now and enjoying a week off. The weirdness continues though, as it would appear my current cycle is now standing at 30 days, unheard of for me I'm usually a 26 day'er! I've had a few on/off niggle cramps since last Friday but nothing has materialised yet, but I am on constant knicker watch

OH and I are off to Sweden today to visit friends, back on Sunday and then back to work on Mon - this time in London, so nice to be home.

 

[Butterfly67]

Hi feline and good luck. I hope you do come back and let us know or else I will have to stalk you sending lots of your way. Did you use own eggs if you don't mind me asking

Mistyy, yes I can understand not wanting to do the tests and letting whatever be

Garfie it never really goes away does it the green eyed one

Nise damn that things did not work out while you were up north but fingers crossed things work out st the next hearing particularly as the birth father seems to be an idiot

Hi pippi, pcmcd, greens, beetle, Barn, maryanne and anyone else I have missed or may be lurking

Oh and I forgot to say I'm hoping to go over to Madrid next cycle to get the tests done for the donor embryo cycle

 

[2blue lines]

Hi gals!! I found you!!! Well I figure I better hang around girls my own age. Hope to help & share my journey in hopes of learning something new & just being supportive

I'm currently on my 4th round of IUI & hoping for the best

Trying to reduce wine intake & increase vitamin intake

It's been a long painful journey & I hope each & everyone of us gets our much deserved BFPs!!!

 

[booth19]

Hi everyone, just back from sunny Lanzarote so not yet had time to catch up with all the posts, plenty wine, food and no testing so was a very relaxing holiday. Had a quick flick and no BFPs, maybe we will all get a nice Xmas present .

Welcome to all the newbies , I am sure you will find this forum fun and supportive as I have done.

Well off to catch up with the posts to see what you lot have been up to

 

[Pippi_elk]

Just a quickie before I head to bed...

Welcome 2blue lines and celine45, good luck with your iui and ivf and be sure to come back and let us know how's it's progressing.

Good luck butterfly with the donor cycle in Spain...exciting!!


Hope you enjoying Sweden Nise, oh and myself met in Sweden and Lived there for 8 years. Bit dark there now but hope you got to check out some xmas markets or drink some mulled wine.
Your 16 day cycle is really wired, wonder what day you ovulated? Thankfully this cycle seems more normal but I'm only on 5 or 6 dpo yet. I know years ago while in college when I spent the summer working really hard waitressing in the Isle of Man my periods totally stopped....so stress definatley affects our bodies.
Hang on there for lg, although Terrible how the parents are being so uncaring.

Know exactly what you mean Misty about not going for tests. I can see myself been slowly sucked into things and like yourself I won't be able to step back once we start down this road.

I have been reading a bit on web.... i always use Preseed internally when we bd, but an expert saying its better not to use it if you have good cm, just use it when you would not be able to bd due to being too dry. He was saying its ok as external lubricant but probably better not to ejaculate into a lot of Preseed....that the cm is a better environment and you don't want to dilute it. W got our bfp using Preseed but maybe I have been putting too much faith in it. Just a warning to anyone else using it all the time

I'm off for my cd21 progesterone test in the morning and hubbie has Sperm analysis on wed.

Hello everyone else..Garfi, pdmcd, barn and everyone else.
Welcome back to winter booth.