TTC 40 plus!! Lets share the ups and downs!

[ANiceCuppaTea]

Thank you babyanise! And best baby wishes to you and your OH!

The way I look at it is this; as a population on Earth, the human race is living longer. This is due to better nutrition, more understanding of disease and prevention and probably a lot of plain dumb luck! So why shouldn't we be able to have children until later in life? As long as the menopause hasn't stopped our chances, we don't have any kind of a physical problem stopping us from conceiving and as long as we are also aware of the risks we will run (genetic malfunctions, decreased fertility and the fact we need a nap, sometimes.)

There is no hard and fast rule book anywhere that says, no, you can't. Older Mothers are just a bit harder work, so, the medical profession would rather we didn't exist. But fie, I say, Fie! Deal with it!

(Even the Bible has Sarah giving birth at 90 or so, and yes, that was a miracle, but then, all children are, in my opinion.)

I'm a much better Mother now than I ever would have been had I started popping them out when I was much younger. So, I'm glad I waited a bit before TTC.
But... that's just me, ok? Your mileage obviously will vary.

 

[mumoffive]

I love your positive attitude. Good luck to you. My dh does a lot of geneology and there are plenty of women 40's and even later. I really wish you all the luck in the world. xxx I will add you to our list on the first thread so that when you get your bfp, it will be there for all to see!!! x

 

[FBbaby]

ANiceCuppaTea, your decision doesn't shock me at all, you are not defying nature, you are letting it decide. If your body is such that it is allowing your conceive, than obviously it is because you can cope with being a mother again. I wish you all the luck.

By the way, where are you in France? And how are people reacting to your ttc plans? The French can be so judgemental! (I think i can say that, I am from France originally!!)

 

[Sparky67]

21 children - OMG - I surprised she still had time to BD!!

Good luck to you!

 

[Sparky67]

I have just rang my GP and she said all the blood tests I had done last week were "normal" whatever that means. She's still finding out if we can be referred to the fertility clinic although we don't meet the criteria for IVF.

 

[ANiceCuppaTea]

ANiceCuppaTea... where are you in France? And how are people reacting to your ttc plans? The French can be so judgemental! (I think i can say that, I am from France originally!!)

I'm in Bretagne, 22, and my own doctor was very happy, said great, you'll be fine, go for it if that is what you both want!

When I went to the gynaecologist, in the waiting room were all these posters about the 'Dangers of having a child over 30" and I thought, oh dear... He did the uterine scan, did my pap, (I had already done the F.S.H test,) then we went in to discuss the results of the scan. He was curious as to why I wanted a scan done, I explained that my OH and I were trying to conceive and we wanted to rule out any particular problems we might be facing... and he laughed in my face, then said, "No! You're too old, don't be daft!" I then politely asked him why he thought this, did the scan show a problem, the tests? So, he had to admit no, it was just his opinion that over 25, you are too old to become a mother. I told him that my three children disagreed with him, since I didn't have my first child until I was 30!

When I reported back to my own doctor the findings, and how I was quite depressed about what was said, he replied, "Oh, I shouldn't have sent you to him, he is an idiot and too old-fashioned; next time, you'll go to Saint Brieuc, they have more modern doctors there who are more open to other ideas!"

But yes, you're right, because of the "close-mindedness" that can be around in SOME French, I haven't discussed anything with anyone other than my own doctor, not my neighbours nor my friends, I'm just keeping it between my OH and myself... and now sharing with this forum.

It's good to talk!

 

[mumoffive]

cupoftea, i am a bit like that. i really dont think its anyones business. I have told noone, including my own mother. She was so upset when i told her i was pregnant with my ds, who is now 2. I mean, you would have thought i had said to her i was dying..and im not joking! There were tears, whaling,..and i just thought OMG!! Is she for real? I mean i was 39 at the time and i think i know my own mind!!! So now i keep it all to myself [ and my dh]. I had a chemical pregnancy last month and told one friend that i was pregnant but my lesson is well learnt. I will tell noone next time.
Thank goodness we have this forum. I found it when i was googling older mothers ttc forums and found this..but at the time, they didnt have an older mums section..but this is great. I did message admin with the request for a section for older mums..maybe they had lots of requests and now we are so lucky to have it. x

 

[Sparky67]

Good news - the fertility clinic will see us for further tests. Just need some blood tests and stuff from the GP first (rubella immunity, chlamydia, chicken pox etc), so have an appointment for next week

 

[babyanise]

wow,gr8t news hun.

 

[Mummytofour]

Wow! Nicecuppatea, you are simply amazing! I read your posts with a big grin! You go girl!!! Ageism is rife here in the UK in all aspects of life and we shouldn't have to explain or make excuses for our decisions or life choices to anyone because of our age.

Mumoffive, I was exactly the same as you, infact I could have written your post!!!
When I had my DD, my mother did the same as yours and when I had my MMC at 11 weeks in Oct 09, noone even knew I was preggers apart from my DH and best friend.
Even she was aghast at me wanting another one, so my next bfp will be just between me and DH until I need to tell!!!

I am on SI this cycle, cd3 and getting bloated and cramps already!!! God, I hope I'm not gonna O during af!!! NOT good!!! LOL!!!

Hope everyone is doing okay? Have we got any testers soon or are we all waiting to O??? Sorry I can't remember old posts!!! Mumoffive...I do remember Reading about u testing though and af then no af???? Am I right or totally losing the plot?!!!!

 

[ArticBaby]

everyone

 

[Sparky67]

Woo hoo - this month I have a definate solid red line on my FF chart, last month it was dotted and stayed dotted.

I am 3 DPO. Now it will be interesting to see how long my LP is, and then I might have some idea what happened the first month.

Doesn't it just seem like you're always counting your life away...!?

 

[mumoffive]

Yes it so does!!! Good luck Sparky!! xxxx
As for me, well blood when i wiped two days ago and then nothing???? Cramping like mad..im so tired of it, keep going to the toilet but nothing except cm. I really thought the witch had got me! I wish it would either come now or the crampy feelings would go. Anway, did a test this morning and i know im only about 9dpo and it was negative. I know its still very early.
Ive worked it out from last time i ovulated that my luteal phase is only 12 days long..is that bad?...i thought that was in the normal range 12-14 days..but im not sure who posted to say they were trying to make it longer on here. Was it you sparky?

 

[babyanise]

omg,so your still in,fx mum,my lp is 13,anything under 10 is bad,so your ok.

 

[Lyns]

Ive worked it out from last time i ovulated that my luteal phase is only 12 days long..is that bad?...i thought that was in the normal range 12-14 days..but im not sure who posted to say they were trying to make it longer on here. Was it you sparky?

12 is fine hon....very normal. So much is fixated nowadays on acheiving the textbook 14 day LP (my daughter to full term and beyond!), and everyone's body is very different, so everyone's LP will be different. Docs won't even worry until under 10 and even then it only depends on if you progesterone is low.

Did you know there is actually no such condition as Luteal Phase Defect.....it was merely a term made up by an American company that was once marketing a hormonal supplement!

My LP is 9 days but my progesterone is fine. I've conceived 3 times and carried each baby well past my LP, without a touch of spotting, and never had a chemical (which is what can results from a problematic luteal phase) If you are still concerned, get your progesterone tested (do it at 6 or 7 dpo) and as long as its OK, your OK.

I used to panic about mine being short....but after consulting with two of the Uk's top experts on it, they put my mind right at rest, and as I've said in other posts, I actually think 12 days is the perfect LP! Not as long to wait as 14! Makes the 2ww less agonising, and I now love my '1 week and a bit' wait! I get about 2 extra cycles per year because of that.....so thats 2 extra chances!!

Mind you, I have to say, spotting at 6/7 dpo.....maybe you won't be needing to get your progesterone or anything else tested. That does sound rather positive! Fingers quietly crossed that you are the first on our list!!!!!!!

 

[babyanise]

Ive worked it out from last time i ovulated that my luteal phase is only 12 days long..is that bad?...i thought that was in the normal range 12-14 days..but im not sure who posted to say they were trying to make it longer on here. Was it you sparky?

12 is fine hon....very normal. So much is fixated nowadays on acheiving the textbook 14 day LP (my daughter to full term and beyond!), and everyone's body is very different, so everyone's LP will be different. Docs won't even worry until under 10 and even then it only depends on if you progesterone is low.

Did you know there is actually no such condition as Luteal Phase Defect.....it was merely a term made up by an American company that was once marketing a hormonal supplement!

My LP is 9 days but my progesterone is fine. I've conceived 3 times and carried each baby well past my LP, without a touch of spotting, and never had a chemical (which is what can results from a problematic luteal phase) If you are still concerned, get your progesterone tested (do it at 6 or 7 dpo) and as long as its OK, your OK.

I used to panic about mine being short....but after consulting with two of the Uk's top experts on it, they put my mind right at rest, and as I've said in other posts, I actually think 12 days is the perfect LP! Not as long to wait as 14! Makes the 2ww less agonising, and I now love my '1 week and a bit' wait! I get about 2 extra cycles per year because of that.....so thats 2 extra chances!!

Mind you, I have to say, spotting at 6/7 dpo.....maybe you won't be needing to get your progesterone or anything else tested. That does sound rather positive! Fingers quietly crossed that you are the first on our list!!!!!!!

thanks for all this info,very reasuring.

 

[glitterqueen]

how come if you have regular periods . a perfect lp of 14 days, loads of ewcm, perfect ov on day 15 every month bd on all the right days and still don't get a BFP???????
fustrated-very!!!!!

 

[Lyns]

how come if you have regular periods . a perfect lp of 14 days, loads of ewcm, perfect ov on day 15 every month bd on all the right days and still don't get a BFP???????
fustrated-very!!!!!

Sucks doesn't it!!!

What gets me is why that *all the above* and then some drunken little madam, gets laid in totally the wrong time of the month, never wanted a baby, and smokes and drinks all the way through, gets knocked up immediately and never has an inkling of a problem.

 

[ArticBaby]

I wanna test now, but i'll wait

 

[mumoffive]

How can you wait???? Good luck when you test. xxx