TTC 40 plus!! Lets share the ups and downs!

[samiam]

I think a banner is a fab idea! If I knew how to do them, I'd volunteer!

I love having you UK ladies around! I learn so many awesome new phrases! "Up the duff" is my new fave! LOL

Shelley: I'm a Yank, but I live over in Scotland. Up the duff is one of my favs too.

 

[LLbean]

What should the banner say? something like '40+ TTC Team"?

I can make one but need to know what you want to say

 

[samiam]

What should the banner say? something like '40+ TTC Team"?

I can make one but need to know what you want to say

I don't know. Since I'm a relative new-comer, I will defer to the rest of you ladies. Torch Bearing TTC team?

P.S. I love your signature "I use my thank you button as a like button too." Brilliant! Do you mind if I poach that?

 

[Miss_C]

here's a suggestion

https://i.imgur.com/tE399.gif

or this one

https://i.imgur.com/KMLmM.gif

 

[Shelley71]

here's a suggestion

https://i.imgur.com/tE399.gif

Hahaha! I love it!

 

[Miss_C]

more pretty

https://i.imgur.com/uEacW.gif

 

[samiam]

more pretty

https://i.imgur.com/uEacW.gif

I LOVE that saying and I like this one's colors best too.

 

[Shelley71]

more pretty

https://i.imgur.com/uEacW.gif

Yep, I like this one better.

 

[Glowstar]

Love it Miss C

 

[LLbean]

What should the banner say? something like '40+ TTC Team"?

I can make one but need to know what you want to say

I don't know. Since I'm a relative new-comer, I will defer to the rest of you ladies. Torch Bearing TTC team?

P.S. I love your signature "I use my thank you button as a like button too." Brilliant! Do you mind if I poach that?

be my guest!

 

[Miss_C]

dont know how to give you the link for the banner for your siggys without the damn thing popping up in the post all the time!!

 

[Spoomie]

And so the cycle of emotions comes around and goes around....today I feel like I will get pregnant again, maybe not this month and maybe not even before June, but it will happen. Perhaps this fixation with my due date is finally passing, well, at least for today, thank heavens. Wondering if I'm also feeling calmer as the wheels are in motion for seeing a bereavement counsellor. We'll see how the rest of the month pans out. How are you other ladies doing??? x

 

[Miss_C]

hey twinny, hugs sweetheart, grieving is a very difficult and complex process. IS there a support group over there specifically for miscarriage etc, we have SANDS here in Australia and they have been awesome for me.

well I am on a promise! DP gone to bed cos he is exhausted and too tired to bd, he is seriously snoring down the neighbourhood right now! Sure sign he is tired so he has promised me a nudge in the morning if we wake before Jake or we'll get one away whilst Jake naps in the arvo!! My vote is for the AM so we can do another top up at night!!

 

[LLbean]

dont know how to give you the link for the banner for your siggys without the damn thing popping up in the post all the time!!

go edit your signature and copy the link of the banner but WITHOUT the brackets or what is inside it (IE. copy from the https part till the .gif part) and post that alone on a post so people can copy it and add it as an image to their signature if they so chose to

 

[Spoomie]

hey twinny, hugs sweetheart, grieving is a very difficult and complex process. IS there a support group over there specifically for miscarriage etc, we have SANDS here in Australia and they have been awesome for me.

well I am on a promise! DP gone to bed cos he is exhausted and too tired to bd, he is seriously snoring down the neighbourhood right now! Sure sign he is tired so he has promised me a nudge in the morning if we wake before Jake or we'll get one away whilst Jake naps in the arvo!! My vote is for the AM so we can do another top up at night!!

Hi twinny

I'm seeing the counsellor through a GP referral to a women's centre where bereavement counselling is one of the services they offer. A lady is calling me within the next couple of weeks to take further details and choose a suitable counsellor, hopefully that will be one with experience of m/c. The woman who called initially also suggested that it might be helpful to speak the Miscarriage Association here so will see how counselling goes.

You go for it, make sure he's having lots of rest so you get good quality merchandise Daytime naps for the little man don't feature in our schedule any longer and he usually ends up in bed with us at some point during the night so it's pretty much pm or nothing for us!!! xxx

 

[samiam]

GRR. Bad mood Friday. Another weird temp. No sign of AF and "Lucky" is still reading high. So now, based on the temp, FF has decided that I haven't Oed yet. CD23. Based on my physical signs, I think that FF is wrong. I'm fed up. I really just feel so tired of thinking about this all the damned time. I guess I need to just admit that there was a part of me that was convinced that, based on Murphy's Law, since I am going to see the doc on Tuesday, I would get pregnant before that. Obviously, I was wrong.

Sigh.

Miss C & Spoomie: I think I need to find a counsellor too.

 

[pip7890]

Hello everyone. How are you? Loving the banner!!! You are most certainly not over the hill though. You are all absolutely gorgeous ladies in your prime. Those 20 and 30 somethings have nothing on you!!!

Good luck for those testing in the next few days and fingers crossed for those who have just ov-d. I can feel it in my water (and believe me I'm passing gallons) that your s are not far away.

I can't remember who mentioned it but I also had a very light period (didn't even need a tampon) at the start of the cycle I conceived. I kind of spotted over about 6 days without ever getting into full flow. Also, post ov I had very little in the way of symptoms unlike previous cycles. I don't know if that helps one way or the other.

After my first miscarriage I saw a bereavement counsellor and she recommended giving our baby a name. I always thought i was carrying a boy so we named him Samuel. Having a name by which to call the baby, rather than just a label "the baby I lost" or "the baby I miscarried" really helped me and my (now ex) husband deal with the loss. When I lost again at Christmas my partner didn't feel comfortable giving the baby a name so I think of her as "our gift" because she really was a gift to us.

I saw my midwife for the first time today. She was absolutely lovely, but clearly overworked! She agreed my due date of 24 November based on ovulation and will arrange for me to have a dating scan w/c 9 or 16 May when I will be around 12-13 weeks. We talked about trying to get an early scan but it's practically impossible in my NH Trust. She has another patient who was in last week. She can't remember her LMP, she doesn't know when she ovulated, she's not taking care of herself and when the midwife tried to get an early scan the best day that could be offered was mid-May!!! The midwife did offer to lie on the form and say I couldn't remember my LMP or put that it was January but I said I'd rather she be honest. I don't want to do anything that puts the kybosh on this pregnancy.

I signed the form to decline downs testing as I suspect I'm high risk (being 40) and if the bloods/NT do confirm I'm high risk I'm not prepared to have an amnio (because of the miscarriage risk) and I would never terminate on those grounds.

As I'm 40, have a BMI of 30 and a history of depression she has decided I will be subject to shared care - with her and a consultant at the local hospital. It means I'll have a few more appointments than normal but I can live with that.

I got my medical exemption form so need to fill that in and send it off to get my exemption card. We talked about diet (you know what to eat and what not to eat) and a little about my previous history. I'm back to see her on 13 May for my full booking appointment when she will take bloods etc.

I've still got terrible morning sickness 24/7 which I'm currently treating with acupressure wrist bands, nux vomica 6c homeopathic tablets, ginger and lemon infusions, lots of water, lots of sleep, and eating every couple of hours. I had this sickness (although not this severe) until 20 weeks with my DS and midwife said not to be surprised if it went on as long this time too. Fortunately I've not actually vomited yet, but come very close when I brush my teeth or put too much food in my mouth!

I'm rather constipated, bilious and bloated too. I'm taking 15ml of lactulose every night, drinking peppermint tea and lots of water and passing wind like billy-o!!! Once upon a time I used to be a lady but now I'm like a docker!!!!

My mornings are spent feeling really sick to the point I can't concentrate on my work, my afternoons are spent trying to keep awake because I'm so fatigued and my evenings are spent glued to the sofa passing wind because I'm so bloated. I can't stand the smell of my DS or my OH so am keeping my distance from them and is out of the question because even the thought of all the jigging about makes me feel like throwing up.

None of my pre-pregnancy clothes fit me due to the bloat so, despite only being 8 weeks pregnant, I'm now in maternity clothes!

On the plus side, I'm really excited to still be pregnant at 8w. I know it is early days but I've got a good feeling about this one. OH and I have already started talking about names, but we've held off telling anyone about the baby (including DS) for the moment. We'll know when the time is right to announce it.



Pip x

 

[Spoomie]

Samian and Miss_C

Sorry Samian, sounds like your cycle's still all over the place, that must be really difficult to cope with, a real emotional rollercoaster. Totally relate to the feeling that it's all so tiring. TTC after a loss at our age just adds to the stress of the whole situation: grief over your loss, fear that we won't get pregnant again or that things will all go wrong again. TTC after a loss is emotional by itslef, TTC over 40 feels like an uphill struggle and we are juggling the two, with soooo many emotions thrown into the mix. I think for all three of us it is made worse by having got so far, 12 weeks is supposed to be terra firma and, don't know abut you two, but I feel so terribly cheated and angry with the world. Re: counselling, amazingly, I feel so much better just having acknowledged that I need someone to help me get through this right now, and I am most definitely NOT your archetypal candidate for counselling, always been cynical. Definitely worth considering for you too.

Hang in there xxx

 

[Glowstar]

What a lovely post Pip typical of the NHS though eh sorry about the M/S. I never suffered from it and DON'T want to...must be awful and to be honest it's my worst nightmare as I am real baby when I feel sick. You must be full of weird emotions.....elation....nausea....elation....nausea


ON ANOTHER NOTE: yes I am using caps lock to grab your attention In the eternal quest for the BFP....I have now decided that MACA is the way forward ladies. Anyone tried it?? It is supposed to increase sex drive by 180%...so all our lazy OH's will be rampant and gagging for it gone will be the days of lulling him into a false sense of security with your wiley womanly charms...he'll be ripping yer knickers off with this stuff!!! ALSO...it's supposed to increase sperm count by a whopping 200% It's also supposed to increase DHEA all sounds very positive to me....so going to get some and ditch some of the other supps and try Maca + Folic Acid + Soy

Any of you tried it. I need to do some more research but it all sounds positive so far from what I've read.

This link is interesting https://natural-fertility-info.com/maca

 

[GraceFace]

Hello everyone. How are you? Loving the banner!!! You are most certainly not over the hill though. You are all absolutely gorgeous ladies in your prime. Those 20 and 30 somethings have nothing on you!!!

Good luck for those testing in the next few days and fingers crossed for those who have just ov-d. I can feel it in my water (and believe me I'm passing gallons) that your s are not far away.

I can't remember who mentioned it but I also had a very light period (didn't even need a tampon) at the start of the cycle I conceived. I kind of spotted over about 6 days without ever getting into full flow. Also, post ov I had very little in the way of symptoms unlike previous cycles. I don't know if that helps one way or the other.

After my first miscarriage I saw a bereavement counsellor and she recommended giving our baby a name. I always thought i was carrying a boy so we named him Samuel. Having a name by which to call the baby, rather than just a label "the baby I lost" or "the baby I miscarried" really helped me and my (now ex) husband deal with the loss. When I lost again at Christmas my partner didn't feel comfortable giving the baby a name so I think of her as "our gift" because she really was a gift to us.

I saw my midwife for the first time today. She was absolutely lovely, but clearly overworked! She agreed my due date of 24 November based on ovulation and will arrange for me to have a dating scan w/c 9 or 16 May when I will be around 12-13 weeks. We talked about trying to get an early scan but it's practically impossible in my NH Trust. She has another patient who was in last week. She can't remember her LMP, she doesn't know when she ovulated, she's not taking care of herself and when the midwife tried to get an early scan the best day that could be offered was mid-May!!! The midwife did offer to lie on the form and say I couldn't remember my LMP or put that it was January but I said I'd rather she be honest. I don't want to do anything that puts the kybosh on this pregnancy.

I signed the form to decline downs testing as I suspect I'm high risk (being 40) and if the bloods/NT do confirm I'm high risk I'm not prepared to have an amnio (because of the miscarriage risk) and I would never terminate on those grounds.

As I'm 40, have a BMI of 30 and a history of depression she has decided I will be subject to shared care - with her and a consultant at the local hospital. It means I'll have a few more appointments than normal but I can live with that.

I got my medical exemption form so need to fill that in and send it off to get my exemption card. We talked about diet (you know what to eat and what not to eat) and a little about my previous history. I'm back to see her on 13 May for my full booking appointment when she will take bloods etc.

I've still got terrible morning sickness 24/7 which I'm currently treating with acupressure wrist bands, nux vomica 6c homeopathic tablets, ginger and lemon infusions, lots of water, lots of sleep, and eating every couple of hours. I had this sickness (although not this severe) until 20 weeks with my DS and midwife said not to be surprised if it went on as long this time too. Fortunately I've not actually vomited yet, but come very close when I brush my teeth or put too much food in my mouth!

I'm rather constipated, bilious and bloated too. I'm taking 15ml of lactulose every night, drinking peppermint tea and lots of water and passing wind like billy-o!!! Once upon a time I used to be a lady but now I'm like a docker!!!!

My mornings are spent feeling really sick to the point I can't concentrate on my work, my afternoons are spent trying to keep awake because I'm so fatigued and my evenings are spent glued to the sofa passing wind because I'm so bloated. I can't stand the smell of my DS or my OH so am keeping my distance from them and is out of the question because even the thought of all the jigging about makes me feel like throwing up.

None of my pre-pregnancy clothes fit me due to the bloat so, despite only being 8 weeks pregnant, I'm now in maternity clothes!

On the plus side, I'm really excited to still be pregnant at 8w. I know it is early days but I've got a good feeling about this one. OH and I have already started talking about names, but we've held off telling anyone about the baby (including DS) for the moment. We'll know when the time is right to announce it.



Pip x

Thank you for the update!

Morning sickness was horrible for me as well and the bloating took me into maternity clothing early to. Hopefully those will subside after a few weeks. I agree with your choice on amnio. I know it is a very personal choice, but there is no reason to put yourself through the risk when you know it wouldn't make a difference anyway.

Take care and happy and healthy 9 months!