TTC after a fullterm stillbirth

[Natnee]

Hi ladies. I've been to the Epac and had a scan but sadly I've lost this one too.

 

[charlie15]

Hi ladies. I've been to the Epac and had a scan but sadly I've lost this one too.

I'm so so sorry, lots of hugs

 

[thumpette]

Sorry I haven't been online for a few days. Oh Nat, I'm devestated for you. I'm so so sorry. Sending you so much love and hugs and good wishes.

I'm grand- 4 months today. Missing my little guy so much.

Www.L4stars.wordpress.com

I'm cd8, not temping this month- trying to tone down the crazy. Still TTC and will be using opks etc. trying not to get as blindly optimistic as last month. It hurt too much.

Again Nat, so so sorry! 🌟🌟🌟

 

[wildflower79]

Oh Nat, I'm so sorry - was really wishing for some good news for you. It's so unfair you're having to go through even more heartache. Thinking of you and sending you x

 

[SanJan]

Nat, really sorry

 

[Natnee]

It's really sinking in today, feeling so down and confused to what to do now. I guess I sort of knew i'd lost it before the scan, that had just confirmed it. Then yesterday I had Belle off school as she had to go to hospital for an eye test (she needs glasses bless her)

Anyway today on my own again and it's sinking in a bit more. I'm not going to have my baby by christmas as I'd thought. I think I'm feeling down a lot about Poppy as well. I almost breezed through her birthday as 'I was pregnant' so it lightened the whole weekend. So now the sadness from her birthday is hitting me.

I don't know what to do about trying again. Of course they say to wait a cycle but it's purely for dating purposes, so THAT isn't going to stop me. So normally they won't do any tests or anything unless you've had 3 mc, but my bereavement mw says she is going to arrange an appointment with a consultant. But then the lady who carried out the scan said 'ooh you might even be pregnant again by the time you see the consultant' which to me sounds like the appointment won't be for a couple of months, after all they've just said to wait a cycle!

I do want to try again straight away and not wait a cycle, but then what if there IS a reason i've had 2 mc at 6 weeks, there's a problem that's causing them. If I got pregnant again straight away it might happen again at 6 weeks. I'm 39 it's not like I can be breezy about this and wait a few months/several months. Of course the mw is saying 'you're not old we see plenty of women in their 40's having babies'. Yeah maybe but I don't want to be that far into my 40's having babies. I think of the future - when it's 10 I'll be 50, when it's 20 I'll be 60. I can't be adding many more years onto those figures.

They advised me I could start taking aspirin as soon as I fell pregnant again which could help if I have blood clotting problem that can cause mc, but won't hurt if I don't. But I can't help thinking what if it's not that, but it's x,y,z that needs alternative treatment.

I'm thinking of just going to speak to my GP and just sound it out to her, not wanting to go behind my bereavement mw back or anything but I guess just to get a different medical opinion.

 

[thumpette]

Can totally understand your predicament Nat. I think having a good chat with your GP could only help you make sence of it all. It's just so unfair after all you've been through that you're going through this now. Xxx

 

[Natnee]

Yes it really really sucks. I'm wondering what I've done to deserve all this!

Felt so low this morning, it doesn't help when Belle says things like 'I really want to be a big sister'!

But had some slightly better news, that I've got an appointment to see a consultant on the 2nd June, so only a couple of weeks (ish) to wait. I think I can cope with that!

 

[charlie15]

Aww Hun it totally sucks. I am at least glad you don't have long to wait to see your consultant. Lots of hugs xxx

 

[wildflower79]

Glad your appointment came through so quickly Nat. I really hope you get some answers or some reassurance that everything is ok. I know people that have had early losses in a row and then gone on to have a healthy pregnancy. I can totally understand you questioning why its happened though and its always scary to think it might happen again

Charlie, I've never done temping, but I might try it if we don't conceive in the next few cycles. Even just to get a better idea of how my body is working! I don't think I'm going to bother with the expensive digital opk's anymore either. I might order some internet cheapy ones instead.

I'm going to take a month off ttc next cycle. We're away with family beginning of July and if we fell that cycle I'd be around 5/6 weeks while we're away and I'm just too scared something might go wrong. It'll be nice to just be able to relax and enjoy my holiday too.

 

[thumpette]

Officially 2ww time again. Managed to bd every day for the last 4 days- very impressed with DH! Gonna skip a day and then one more for luck. Had lots of super stretchy cervical mucus so hopefully it's a good sign. Trying to think of all the reasons why it'd be bad to get pg this month. I am doing a 10k run on June 1st in memory of Max for the Irish stillbirth charity. I'll walk it anyway but if I'm not pg I can properly go for it. Also we have tickets to go to Blur in Blackpool on June 10th. If I'm not pg I can really enjoy the gig and the rollercoasters. If I am I'd probably give my ticket to my brother in law and stay at home wrapped in cotton wool and checking for blood every 30 seconds! Obviously I'm really hoping I am pg- this is just me trying to prepare myself!

 

[Natnee]

Fingers crossed for you Thumpette!!!

We're going to see Take That at the O2 in a couple of weeks. Thinking I might be pregnant, we got seated tickets, normally we go for standing to get right down the front! Now have probably got to take my binoculars as we're right at the back

 

[thumpette]

How have you been doing Nat? Holding off trying again until you have your consultation? Been thinking lots about you. It really is so unfair what you've been through. Hope you enjoy Take That! Seen them a few times and they are always amazing! Still remember the circus tour- just unreal. Hope you manage to enjoy it xxx

 

[Natnee]

I love them! I've been a fan since they were about first time round, went to their concerts then. Seen all the latest concerts. Just gutted Jason Orange left as he was my favourite! I feel so much for Gary as his wife had a stillborn little girl a few years ago, also called Poppy. Every time I hear his song "Let me go' it gets me as he wrote that about her.

I'm thinking it would be wise to wait and see what happens from my appointment, seeing as I haven't got to wait too long for it. At first I was like 'right lets just try straight away but I think it would be better to see if there's actually a problem going on first.

 

[thumpette]

Knew about Poppy but didn't know about that song! He's very upbeat on it! Yeah it'll be weird with just 3 of them now! (Robbie's not back for this tour is he?)

When the appointment is so soon it seems like a good idea to wait. Hopefully a small adjustment somewhere will help you get to bring a precious baby home screaming next time.

I'm 4dpo- trying not to go mad with symptom spotting and false hope but it's so hard. Will probably test next sat (12 dpo) if evil AF doesn't make an early appearance again xxx

 

[thumpette]

6 dpo. Going to the toilet a lot today and having slight uti pain (early sign with Max) also having slight twinges in my side- trying not to get my hopes up! 🙈

 

[wildflower79]

Really hope they're early symptoms for you thumpette! How's preparation for the big run going?

Hope you enjoy the Take That concert Nat. I remember when they split up first time round and half the girls in my class at school were inconsolable! I was never really into TT that much, but had huge crushes on the guys from Bon Jovi

Af is offically a few days late for me now! Was due around last thurs. I've had some pretty bad nausea for just over a week. Some days it comes and goes, some days its there constantly and it varies between being mild and then pretty severe. I also have sore bb's. I've got two tests in my drawer upstairs, but I've been too scared to take them! I kinda want to give af a few days to see if she arrives, because I'm worried if I get a positive test it might turn out to just be a chemical.

 

[thumpette]

Ah wildflower! So excited for you! I am in awe of your willpower! Really hoping this is the lucky month for you xxx

 

[wildflower79]

I don't know about willpower - feels more like I want to bury my head in the sand from all the worry for a bit longer! I'm still not sure when to test. If I get to thurs with no af, then I'll be a week late, so might test then.

When are you planning on testing?

 

[charlie15]

Oh I so hope BFPs for you both. But I totally get your not wanting to test Wildflower xxx