TTC After Loss 2011 BFP!!!

[Kaede351]

Welcome Madrid! Nice to meet you

I'm Kaede, I'm 22 (23 in 7 days! :O). DH and I had been actively TTC for about 10 months when I got my first bfp, but I had a MC last March at 6 weeks. I was quite a bit overweight at that time and I was told by the doctor at my first appointment that I would be "lucky to ever carry a baby to full term if at all at your current weight.", which really made the MC worse... Because of course I blamed myself (I know now he was just being an arse, but at the time it really hurt). So in August last year I joined slimming world. I hoped it would help me lose weight and that the weight loss would help my cycles become more regular. They had ranged from anywhere between 10 and 45 days. Up until my current bfp I had lost nearly 3 stone and my cycles were happy 28-30 day ones Another 14 months after my mc, though, I was starting to give up. I read on here about the Soy and thought... What the hell, it can't hurt to try for 1 cycle! But hey presto! Lo and behold I got my bfp that very cycle! After just over 2 1/2 years TTC (including a few moths before actively trying where we were NTNP) I got my bfp

The journey wasn't always fun, but meeting these ladies here really helped me through! I hope yours (and all the other ladies who are ttc's) journey has a happy ending really soon!

Oooh, not long now Puppy! Keeping my FX'd for you hun

XxX

 

[9babiesgone]

My name is shana. I am 25 and I have been ttc for almost 3 years. W have lost a lot of bAbies. And not sure if I am still ttc . But I am glad to meet you Madrid. And to all those still waiting.

 

[allmuddledup]

Welcome to our group Madrid! :wave: I'm sorry for your losses. You've come to the right place for a lovely supportive and all-inclusive group of ladies. Including yourself I think we now have 4 ladies TTC at the moment, some WTT, 1 new BFP, several 2nd-3rd tri pregnancies and a whole bunch of babies have just been born over the last couple of weeks and months.

AFM, my abbreviated history is in my signature... I have a 6 year old son from a previous relationship who is my pride and joy. My partner and I had an ectopic pregnancy in Aug 2009 with a coil in place. That was a massive shock. We then began actively TTC a few months later and managed to conceive quite quickly but had an early miscarriage in March 2010. It appeared at that time that i seem to have PCOS. It took another several months to conceive again in Oct 2010. We learned our baby Gerri was affected by a serious chromosomal disorder in December and made the heartbreaking decision to say goodbye to our little one on Boxing Day. I was encouraged by Pip to join this group in the new year and have found all of the ladies here tremendously supportive. I truly believe I wouldn't be pregnant now if it weren't for the support I have received here. I managed to conceive again in June 2011 (I think she implanted on Gerri's due date) and I am now almost 26 weeks pregnant and looking forward with much excitement to meeting my rainbow baby Jazzle in 2012.

I plan to stick around and give my support to the ladies still TTC long after her arrival so I look forward to getting to know you on here.

 

[cazi77]

Hi Madrid and welcome. My siggy basically tells my story so far ........

Hope you get you BFP soon xxxx

 

[Deethehippy]

Hi Madrid

Welcome to this lovely group of ladies who have practically saved my life and been the best friends anyone could hope to have on this hard journey.

I have a son who is 11 and a daughter who is 9 from a previous relationship. Me and my current partner have been together 6 years in feb and we would like 1 child together. Unfortunately we suffered a miscarriage last christmas at 8.5 weeks and another one end of august at 12.5 weeks.
I will be TTC as of jan 2012 as i have some migraine/balance problems & need a MRI.

I wish you tons of luck for the future ......

 

[Kaede351]

Umm... I have a question... how od you ladies feel about your OH's and porn? I just found some pictures of random cartoon porn (wierd I know... I don't understand how anime is sexy but oh well), and I'M not really sure how to feel about it. My first reaction was... not surprised really, considering I haven't really felt up to dtd lately. But then when I think about it, I feel a bit hurt... does he enjoy looking at these pictures more than he enjoys looking at me or am I just being sensitive. I'm feeling like I wana cry but feel like I'm overeacting...

XxX

 

[puppycat]

DH used to sell porn films, copies, naughty boy.

I'd be more hurt if they were real women tbh

 

[Deethehippy]

Its a tough one Kaede but i try to accept that men are men and they like to look at sexy stuff (woman walking up the street, stuff on tv/dvds or sexy pictures) Its just part of their nature i think. I don't think that when he looks at images he is comparing them to you in any way, he just likes the images or ideas. He loves you or he wouldn't be with you. I for one love Johnny Depp and he obviously looks nothing like my OH but my OH is the one who i want to be with. Do you know what i mean?
I'm sure some women can like looking at stuff too. I think its just normal hun.
Sometimes its better out in the open as well

 

[Kaede351]

I asked him about them when he got home and he said he just liked the looking at them because they're well drawn? And that I should delete them I told him I don't mind him having them and looking at them or even "doing things" with them... But I told him they kinda made me feel bad that I'm not giving him what he needs right now.

I've never minded him looking at things or whatever, I understand that guys will be guys. He's never been interested in any female celebrities and he never looks at other women when we're out... So I think it just kinda caught me by surprise when I found them.

It's ok, we talked about it and it's all ok my hormones playing up again XD

XxX

 

[Madrid98]

Hi ladies and thank you all for the warm welcome messages.

When I had my children many years ago now I never had to do anything special apart from bd. I didn't use opk's, temps or anything at all. With my ds it took 9 months but I had no complications whatsoever. The fact that I got pregnant so quickly last year & the mc was a shock to my system. Maybe I had the idea it'd never happen to me. I don't know. But the second one was even worse. You never think you'll have to go through the same again.
Now that I see many of you ladies with more than two losses in many cases I feel scared it may happen again. The uncertainty is a horrible feeling particularly be ause I know I'll continue no matter what. What I'm trying to say is that I'm afraid it'll never happen again to me & the thought leaves me sad and empty inside.
Have any of you felt this way before?

It's my last day taking soy. Just had my last dosage and even though I'd planned to take 200mg today, I've changed my mind & stayed instead with the 160mg as yesterday. I've been suffering all day with a terrible headache & I'm sure is the soy. Hope tomorrow it'll be better even though it's gonna be a superbusy day at work with the strike in the uk.

I don't know what to say about the pics. I'm glad you discussed it though. It's always the best to communicate & express your feelings.

X

 

[pip7890]

Hi Madrid

Welcome to the group. I've added you to the front page.

Apologies for brief post. Typing one handed with sleeping rainbow on my left hand.



Pip x

 

[allmuddledup]

Aww Kaede I'm glad you're feeling better about the whole porn issue now. I do understand those mixed feelings when running across your man's porn. I think my reaction has always been affected by my security in the relationship (how devoted I feel my man is to me independent of the porn) and also what the porn is of. I think I'd be quite tickled if I discovered my OH liked looking at anime porn. I think the most upset I ever got over an OH having porn on his computer was when I accidentally ran across old pictures taken of him with an ex-gf that he still kept around. Second to that was rather degrading porn of women doing things I don't do. These two instances bothered me. Needless to say, I'm not with that man anymore (porn wasn't even the issue). I can live with knowing my OH has been giving himself a hand in front of X-tube or some other down-to-earth banal sort of porn. I think it'd be kind of cute if he was into cartoon porn. I'm not bothered by him wanting to have a sly look at pictures of "tantalising" women. So long as he treats me like I'm the centre of his universe, I can live with him using a little mental stimulus to help himself out occasionally if I'm not able to offer him the pleasure myself. He doesn't give me a hard time about not being in the mood and I don't give him a hard time about doing something most men find necessary. He's such a good man to me and my son and rarely leaves any clues when he's helped himself so I don't see the point in busting his balls about it if I do happen to see x-tube on the Internet browser history. It's no biggy in my book.

 

[allmuddledup]

Hi Madrid! We must have been posting at the same time. Your fears are completely normal. I feared the same thing myself (that I'd just have loss after loss after loss and would just keep going til it killed me) but I have also learned from this group that there is hope after loss. Even multiple losses. I suppose it's important to try not to make assumptions about what will happen next time but to just keep hope and not give up unless you feel it is the better choice for you. You won't regret getting yor rainbow baby when the day comes.

 

[puppycat]

Muddled got it in one.

I worry all the time about getting a BFP but it's also what i want more than anything. It can be so hard to work out what's going on in my mind but deep down i can't stop TTC incase that's my month. I have said a few times i wouldn't try and then i'd get closer to ov, ewcm etc and panic then TTC anyway. Lol.

We cannot guarantee the next BFP will be our rainbow but we CAN guarantee the support of everyone here either way

 

[Kaede351]

Thanks AMU I honestly never thought it would bother me, I know he used to look at porn when we first got together, but I think he was embarrassed I'd found out at that point and promised he'd stop. I'd never thought about it since, I didn't even think it was a big issue back then lol.

I think I'm just feeling a bit self conscious, with my ever expanding belly making me feel massive lol. To see pics of these rediculously proportioned anime characters made me wonder if that's what he preferred? Sounds so silly, even to myself lol. I shouldn't have let it upset me, but there are a few things that have made me cry lately that never normally would :/ For example lol... I was typing up some paper work the other day and I kept making spelling mistakes. Now spelling has always been a strong point of mine, and seeing those ugly red underlines every 2 seconds on Word, made me so angry I literally cried... I mean wtf?! Seriously lol. When I'd calmed down after my little outburst I felt SO stupid. I guess we just have these lovely hormones to thank lol.

Anyway, I think we've well and truly made up XD He offered me a massage to make me feel better and we ended up having some fun lol. So off to bed now rather a lot later than I had anticipated, but happy haha XD

@Madrid - I know I only had 1 loss, and I couldn't even begin to imagine what it would be like to suffer through 2 or more. But there were definitely days where I wanted to give up, but somehow, in a wierd way, knowing I wasn't the only person going through it all helped me keep going. That's why I think that forums like these are godsends, especially when you find such a lovely group of ladies

XxX

 

[Suze]

Wow Cazi congratulations Over the moon for you!

Welcome Madrid and lots of luck to you.
Basically I have a daughter who is almost 2 and a half and a gorgeous son who is 4 weeks old today. They are both my life and my rainbows, before my daughter I had an early loss and a ruptured ectopic, losing one of my tubes. Following the birth of my daughter I lost a baby boy Joe at 17 weeks to a chromosomal abnormality, triploidy. I then fell pregnant again and sadly lost again last Christmas at 12 weeks. That was to be the end of ttc (not my choice) however a little surprise came along who is currently feeding off me as I type

 

[ann89]

Hey just wanted to let you know I got my bfp on nov 3rd!

 

[pip7890]

Congratulations Ann!

Pip x

 

[allmuddledup]

Congratulations Ann!

 

[cazi77]

Congratulations Ann xx

AFM - I feel so ill. Sore throat and cold. I went to bed at 9 last night but cannot sleep