TTC after loss - over 40 - any takers? Our lucky thread - 9 rainbows and 1 BFP

[josie1234]

Lisa - bet its a nightmare trying to keep on top of it all. Yes we are off to Rome on Friday, come back on Tuesday. Starting to get excited. It will be so nice.

 

[garfie]

Just a quick pop in - Josie get some tablets called YUMOVE for your collie - think you can get them off ebay, our spaniel who is no spring chicken was limping and the vets said he needs blood tests, scans etc he's nearly 13 to old to be messing about.

A junior vet came in and said here get these tablets for him and since he has had one a day he's like a little pup again running around and enjoying life

When our collie goes the same way - then we will know what to do

Try them what have you to lose?

AFM - Just a quick tidy up and I will be off to wait for my scan



X

 

[josie1234]

Thanks Fi - I will try them. Good luck for the scan hun

 

[Oasis717]

Hope those tablets work Jo def worth a try! Loads luck Fi xxxxx

 

[garfie]

Ladies

I have been for my scan and it wasn't good news - the baby is dead no heartbeat was found

I am beyond devastated and can't believe this has happened again - I now have to make my mind up what course of action for removal I take

I will keep up with your journeys for now until I decide what I will do



X

 

[dancareoi]

Ladies

I have been for my scan and it wasn't good news - the baby is dead no heartbeat was found

I am beyond devastated and can't believe this has happened again - I now have to make my mind up what course of action for removal I take

I will keep up with your journeys for now until I decide what I will do



X

Fiona I am so sorry, sending lots of hugs your way. Xxx

 

[Kat S]

Ladies

I have been for my scan and it wasn't good news - the baby is dead no heartbeat was found

I am beyond devastated and can't believe this has happened again - I now have to make my mind up what course of action for removal I take

I will keep up with your journeys for now until I decide what I will do



X

No NO NOOOOO!!! Oh god!! Sweetie...I am just heartbroken for you! This isn't fair! I wish I could be there to give you massive hugs. All I can do is say how sorry I am and that I and everyone else will be here day or night to listen anytime you need.

 

[Creative]

Fiona that is sooooo sad. Kat has it bang on when she describes it as heart breaking. sat here crying for you.

 

[Oasis717]

Omg Fiona, I'm absolutely devastated to read that, I'm so so sorry hunni, I wish I could say something to help but I know myself that no words can ever make a difference to how you're feeling right now, it's beyond unfair, I just wanted to send you love, that we're all here for you and if you need anything at all just say. All the love in the world to you xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[josie1234]

Fiona, I am devastated for you hun. Gutted. There are no words to console you and or make anything better for you. Wish I could give you a big hug in person. Sat here with tears in my eyes. I will say a little prayer for you and lots of love to you and your family xxxx

 

[Left wonderin]

Fiona Its not fair , not fair at all Becks is right there are no words to make this better , just know we are here for you whenever you need us xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[crazymam]

Fiona, what can I say except
I have been there before and there is no worse feeling in the world. xxx

 

[garfie]

Thanks once again ladies

Today I am feeling numb and still pregnant but I know I probably am not - I have thought of all scenarios (about 3am this morning) I thought maybe there was something shadowing it's heart?/maybe it was on it's belly (can they turn this early?)/maybe the ultrasound wasn't strong enough - oh I don't know it just keeps going around and around in my head

I keep also hearing the sono voice "I'm sorry Fiona it doesn't look good" I thought he was joking and I felt like I was in a tunnel. Hubby has since told me I swore and screamed and screamed - I can't remember.

I just don't know what to do with myself I can't stop crying, I'm not dressed.

I got a scan pic yesterday as well as I thought that would help - all I can see is a perfect baby

I am having a final scan on Tuesday and then will book a DNC - I think I will also request testing be carried out on the baby if they can collect it

I feel shit



X

 

[crazymam]

Thanks once again ladies

Today I am feeling numb and still pregnant but I know I probably am not - I have thought of all scenarios (about 3am this morning) I thought maybe there was something shadowing it's heart?/maybe it was on it's belly (can they turn this early?)/maybe the ultrasound wasn't strong enough - oh I don't know it just keeps going around and around in my head

I keep also hearing the sono voice "I'm sorry Fiona it doesn't look good" I thought he was joking and I felt like I was in a tunnel. Hubby has since told me I swore and screamed and screamed - I can't remember.

I just don't know what to do with myself I can't stop crying, I'm not dressed.

I got a scan pic yesterday as well as I thought that would help - all I can see is a perfect baby

I am having a final scan on Tuesday and then will book a DNC - I think I will also request testing be carried out on the baby if they can collect it

I feel shit



X

Fiona I really feel for you and don't know what to say except that you will get through it. I went through exactly the same scenario just over 16/17 years ago, except they told me to go away and come back in two weeks in case I had my dates wrong. so I had two weeks of not knowing!!! Then to go back and be be told again no heartbeat was heartbreaking, I had a d and c too, but I did go on to fall pregnant straight away, and I mean straight away in the first cycle and went to have a beautiful healthy baby girl, so there can be a silver lining although you wont think it at the moment, My best advice is to cry, have a really good cry, and after your d and c go out and have a good drink, only don't come home and fall over like I did! You need to grieve its only natural, and yes you will feel crap , but things will get better and this angel needed to make way for the healthy baby you will be holding in the future

 

[Oasis717]

I know exactly how you feel Fi, it's so hard to find a way to keep going cause it feels like your world just stopped, I did exactly the same with my second loss, I hoped and hoped and prayed and prayed between scans that I'd get a miracle, because it happens and you want it so badly you won't be able to help hoping. It's completely normal. Go with how you feel, do exactly what you want to do, don't get dressed, cry when you need to, you need to grieve as much as it hurts so much to do so. I wish with all my heart things were not this way, I haven't stopped thinking of you xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Left wonderin]

Fiona xxxxx getting dressed is over rated anyway !!! Thinking of you all the time . I'm so glad you have that perfect picture of your baby , mine brought me such comfort and lives in my locker beside my bed . I wish there was some magic formula or saying to make this better for you but I know there is not Hang in there fiona , I know it doesn't feel like it right now but it will all be ok xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[dancareoi]

Fiona we all know exactly what you are feeling right now and the thoughts that are running through your head , it's only natural.

I have scan pictures of all my little ones, which I keep safe by my bed. I also have actual photographs of my little one who was born sleeping in jan last year. After that loss. Although extremely upsetting, I kept the photos by my bed and used to speak to my little one every night , tell it how much It was loved and kiss it good night. I also took a photo away with us, just to keep my little one close.

But as they say, time is a healer and gradually you move on to the next chapter

In the early days it is impossible look ahead or understand why this could have happened again.

My mom has always said that everything happens for a reason and that your life has already been mapped out for you. At the moment you won't be able to see that, but gradually time will move on, things will happen and one day you will look back and say, yes that was meant to be .

I have said his before on this thread but will say it again. In July 2009 I suffered my first loss at approx 8 weeks, I was devastated, things like this happened to other people not me.

However, 2 months later I was pg again and in may 2010 my beautiful little boy was born. I look back now and think, yes it was all meant to be . Without that loss Eoin would not be with us today. I know I would have another child, but not Eoin, he would not have been given the gift of life .

This gorgeous little monkey, who currently loves nothing more than to take every piece of his jigsaw puzzles and line then up from the kitchen, down the hall to he lounge and back again, would not be with us today and we would have missed the chance to know and love him .

He truly is a rainbow .

I know I doesnt feel like it now, but things will get better and one day you will look back and say, yes it was meant to be.

 

[josie1234]

Fiona thinking of you hun. Try to keep hope and hopefully you will go on to have a little baby to love and cherish. We all know that nothing makes sense and there seems no reason and why me? It is so hard and nothing said can make you feel any better. It is one year today for us, . We are here for you. Love and hugs xx

 

[dancareoi]

Fiona thinking of you hun. Try to keep hope and hopefully you will go on to have a little baby to love and cherish. We all know that nothing makes sense and there seems no reason and why me? It is so hard and nothing said can make you feel any better. It is one year today for us, . We are here for you. Love and hugs xx

on your angelversary

 

[dancareoi]

Fiona, this poem was read at our little ones funeral. I carry a copy of this around with me at all times, on a credit sized card. Every time I read it, it makes me cry, but at the same time brings comfort.

An Angel Never Dies

Don’t let them say I wasn’t born,
That something stopped my heart
I felt each tender squeeze you gave,
I’ve loved you from the start.

Although my body you can’t hold
It doesn’t mean I’m gone
This world was worthy, not of me
God chose that I move on.

I know the pain that drowns your soul,
What you are forced to face
You have my word, I’ll fill your arms,
Someday we will embrace.

You’ll hear that it was meant to be,
God doesn’t make mistakes
But that wont soften your worst blow,
Or make your heart not ache.

I’m watching over all you do,
Another child you’ll bear
Believe me when I say to you,
That I am always there.

There will come a time, I promise you,
When you will hold my hand,
Stroke my face and kiss my lips
And then you’ll understand.

Although I’ve never breathed your air,
Or gazed into your eyes
That doesn’t mean I never was,
An Angel never dies.



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