TTC after Methotrexate shot

[WHITNEYG]

Natalie, that picture is precious! He is absolutely adorable. So glad you had a wonderful vacation, but I hate you're cycles are off. Hopefully a little miracle will happen this month and everything will work out.

Savasanna, your temps are looking FANTASTIC! I'm so excited to hear from you on Monday. I'm sending fertile thoughts your way! Haha!

Hatethewait, how are you feeling?

As for me, I'm doing good. Just anxiously awaiting Wednesday. We've got a wedding this weekend in Atlanta that we're looking forward to. I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!

 

[Hatethewait85]

Well my worst fear came true last week. On Thursday evening I ended up going into the ER with some pain. It was mild/moderate, certainly not severe, but I had this unsettled feeling something wasn't right. After about 3-4 hour in the ER they told me the methotrexate hadn't worked and my tube was rupturing. They also told me my baby had a hb now. I had emergency surgery Friday morning to have my R tube removed. I was able to go home later that day and have been slowly recovering. I'm off work this week but know that the emotional healing will take much longer. It took us nearly 3 years to make this baby with fully functioning organs. I have no idea what the loss of my tube will mean for my fertility but I know it will be awhile before I conceive again- if at all. I cannot believe the ridiculousness of it all. Life is incredibly unfair.

 

[Nataliek]

hatethewait I am so incredibly sorry for your traumatic experience. It is just so unfair and heartbreaking, I hope you are finding some way to cope with this experience. I have heard of a lot of happy endings with women conceiving with only one tube, it happens all the time. I know your recovery both emotionally and physically will be a difficult process but you will get through this, day by day it will get easier. I am glad you are at home resting, taking care of yourself is the most important thing right now. xo

 

[WHITNEYG]

Hatethewait, I'm so sorry you're going through all of this, like Natalie said, it's just so unfair. I'm glad that you listened to your gut and went to the ER. I can't imagine how scary and traumatic this has all been, but I'm praying for your continued strength and peace through this awful journey. I know this probably won't take any of your fears away, but there are many success stories of people conceiving with one tube. Even if you ovulate from the side where the tube was removed, your existing tube can transport the fertilized egg. Again, I'm so sorry you're going through all of this and I will continue to pray.

I hope everyone else is doing good this week.

As for me, we had our ultrasound yesterday and our little peanut is in the right place and we got to see the heartbeat. Thank you guys for all of your support throughout this journey. You guys encouraged me to stay positive even when the future seemed so bleak. You all have been the best listeners, cheerleaders and wealth of information! I truly can't thank you guys enough! I'll still be reading this thread and rooting for each of you!

 

[Savasanna]

How is everyone doing over here?

Hatethewait - I never got a chance to respond to you but I'm so sorry you had to go through that. How are you feeling now?

 

[JPARR01]

Hatethewait, I am so sorry to hear this. You are in my prayers. Xoxo

 

[Hatethewait85]

Thank you ladies for thinking of me!! I can't believe it's been nearly 6 weeks since my surgery. Physically my body is back to its usual routine. Even had a perfect 28 day cycle right after surgery (used to be 30-35 days before). The emotional recovery has been much more of a roller coaster as I'm sure you all know. Sometimes I feel like the unluckiest person in the world, but I'm trying to focus on the fact that my body tried to do something right. So I'm hoping that this pregnancy has 'fixed' things with my body and it won't be long until I get another bfp (this one took nearly 3 years!) My acupuncturist says that she's seen that happen so one can hope! Only 6 more weeks to wait until I'm back in the game.

How is everyone else doing?

 

[Savasanna]

Oh, hatethewait... I just looked at your siggy and realized the journal you had to go through to get that bfp. My heart absolutely breaks for you. I'm so sorry and hope you are able to continue to heal during these next 6 weeks until your journey continues. Life can be so unfair.

As for me - I'm on my last day of clomid and am preparing to attempt our first iui sometime next week. They ran cd21 and 3 labs over the past month and everything came back normal so that's good news at least. Also we had a SA on our donor and that came back positive as well. All in all I'm feeling pretty hopeful that, because there's seemingly no reason why I shouldn't be pregnant, the combination of meds and iui will do the trick. Finger's crossed.

 

[Hatethewait85]

Thanks.

I hope this IUI is a success! I know how frustrating it can be to have no reason for not getting pregnant. Fx you just need to get the a bit closer!

 

[Savasanna]

Hi ladies!

I was missing my methotrexate buddies and wanted to see how everyone was doing. Our iui last month was bfn and then our donor told us he's not interested in being a part of this process any longer. It was pretty devestating. But, we pulled ourselves together and decided to move forward, at least for now, with frozen sperm. It's expensive but we weren't ready to give up just yet. So we're going for back to back iuis with clomid and frozen this month. I'm cd12 today and still receiving -opks, but it should be any day now.

How're you all doing?

 

[Hatethewait85]

Sorry to hear your donor left you hanging but I'm glad you were able to come up with a backup plan! Have you had your iui yet? I hope you are second time lucky! Have you thought about how many times you'll try IUI?

I'm just waiting on AF (hoping she'll be here Tues or Wed) and then we will have officially waited the 3 months and will be back at it!! I'm so ready to be able to ttc again- I really think it will help me move past this crappy summer and ectopic experience. Its hard to forget about it when you can't move forward (not that I'll ever forget about it, but you know what I mean).

Hope everyone is well

 

[Savasanna]

Hatethewait - CD1 after I was done healing from mtx was such an exciting day! I'm so happy that's right around the corner for you!

We had our IUIs this past weekend, one Friday and one Saturday. I had some pretty strong ovarian cramping on Friday night so I'm REALLY hoping I o'd either late Friday or early Saturday and had inseminations on either side of that. Unfortunately, when they did the IUI on Friday they said our sample was mostly dead. They still did the procedure, as there were SOME live sperm present.. but success was unlikely. However, Saturday's sample came back good. Or good for a frozen sample, at least.

Anyway - I don't have a TON of hope.. but it only takes one so Fx I (finally) get lucky.

Are you planning on getting back to ttc naturally or are you going to use any assisted conception tools?

 

[mirandala]

Savasanna- I inseminated using a vial of frozen sperm and it was successful. It can be tricky to time it correctly with the frozen stuff, but fingers crossed for you! Good luck!!! Let us know how it goes.

Hate- yay for AF! That's so exciting!

I'm waiting a couple of months to start trying again because of timing with work and travel (the doc said as soon as I have a bfp I need to start betas every 48 again, and I can't change the travel plans already in place) so I'll be trying again in January. The SD I used last time as sold out, so I've been worried about that. One that ticks all the boxes for me was just listed, so I think I'm going to buy some of that. I just don't feel excited about him. I think I'm just nervous to start again. The timing for my life now really isn't ideal- the support I would have had for the first year of the baby's life has basically timed out, so it will be a lot more challenging and I'm just scared. On top of that, I think I'm just afraid of having another ectopic and going through it all over again. What are some methods you use to get over the fear and just get back to trying?

 

[Savasanna]

Hate - any sign of AF yet?

Mirandala - Thanks for the success story! Those really help me get through the day sometimes.

I'm still not feeling very hopeful about this cycle.. or this process for that matter. I just don't understand why this is happening to us. Why is it taking so long? I worry it's never going to happen and I literally don't know how I'm going to wrap my brain around that. I know time will continue and I'll "move on" - but I don't think I ever fully will. It's just so depressing.

However, I started acupuncture this week and my acupuncturist seemed REALLY hopeful that I have a good shot at eventually being a success story. I don't fully believe her, but it's really great to hear.

As for trying again.. I don't know how I moved past the fear of it all happening again. I actually don't know if I have. I think I'm MORE afraid of never getting pregnant again, honestly. If I ever get a bfp I bet the fear of ectopic will return.. I used to say that it'd just be incredibly unlucky to have two ectopics (or two miscarraiges) in a row. I mean, I know it happens.. but statistically speaking the odds are in our favor that the next pregnancy will be successful, right?

Actually, I knew something was wrong from the second I got my bfp. It was on the lighter side.. and didn't progress properly. A few days after I got my bfp I called my doctor and requested a beta to check on things. They turned me away saying "they don't really do that", and I didn't know enough to push them. When I called the local midwifery to set up my intake appointment I expressed my fears to them too. They responded "a positive is a positive" and that was that. I was right.. and no one would believe me. It sounds silly/naive but if I were to get pregnant again I think I would just know how things were going.

Sorry for the solemn post today, ladies. I think the fall time blues are coming to me. And my original due date was 10/11.. aka, the day af is due for this cycle. And someone who got pregnant around the same time as me just had her baby yesterday. It's just.. it's just feeling like a lot today.

 

[loeylo]

Hi ladies, is there room for another one in here?

We are both 25 and have no children. We have been pregnant three times now, the first two ended in miscarriage at 6 and a half weeks then 8 and a half weeks. We found out we were pregnant again in August and we were delighted! I had cramping at 5+2 and a scan confirmed it was ectopic, and in my right tube. I wanted to save my tube if possible so had methotrexate the same day (1st September) - my hcg was over 3000, dropped to 480 on day 4, then 100 on day 7, 8 on day 16 and 1 on day 23 - last Wednesday.

I have to wait another 2 months before ttc, so I am now cleared off to start taking prenatals. I am going for recurrent miscarriage testing on Wednesday so hopefully there will be a quick fix.

Looking forward to getting to know you ladies

 

[mirandala]

loeylo- I"m so sorry to hear you've been going through this. Congrats on getting back down to zero. I really felt that was when I could start to move on with everything. That and getting my period for the first time! Hopefully the testing will reveal something helpful!

Savasannah- Big big hugs. I can't imagine how you're feeling, being right near your due date My due date is Dec 28, and for the first time the other day there was a very pregnant seeming woman in at work the other day and her due date is in December- I nearly broke down in a meeting! It was the first time I've confronted another person due around my time and am sure it's going to be hard as I reach the date. I am so sorry you're dealing with that right now. It's great that you have started acupuncture. I hear that's supposed to be great for fertility.

So- there was a donor at the sperm bank that I like who just was listed- so I bought up some vials and can try again whenever I am ready. I realized that if I try with my next cycle the travel that I have to do for work would be in the 2ww, so I could then be able to stay local for the betas. I think I'm going to try that and feel so much better having made a decision. If that cycle doesn't take I'll have to wait until january with travel.

When would AF come this cycle Sas? In a week and a half or so? Fingers crossed for you!!!

 

[loeylo]

Thanks for the reply. My period arrived last night, less than 6 weeks after methotrexate, which I thought was pretty fast since my hcg was over 3000 when I had the shot!

I had testing today for clotting disorders, they aren't goin to investigate anything else at this stage, and she is pretty sure it will come back negative. I have been quoted a 1/4 chance of miscarrying my next pregnancy (the same as the general population) and a 1/12-1/8 chance of my next pregnancy being ectopic. She did say that I am likely to find it a bit more difficult to fall pregnant this time, but not significantly so.

All in all, I guess I am quite positive now. She has given me the green light to go ahead and ttc as of the end of November, which actually works quite well as all my test results will be back, plus my job situation may have improved by then too.

Hope everyone is well - sorry I am not replying individually as I don't really know anyone's story!

 

[Hatethewait85]

Sorry I went MIA. AF was taking too long to show and I was starting to have a bit of a pity party BUT she's here!!!! CD2 today and I'm officially back at it!!! I can't believe we can try again. I'm a little scared of it happening all over again and I hate that any future BFP will be tainted with feelings of fear and stress, but is it crazy that I can't wait to see 2 pink lines again?! I can.not.wait!

Operation BFP before EDD is on. t-4.5 months to go....

Savasanna- When will you test? Your chart is looking good!! Fx for you. Hopefully you find acupuncture helpful. I've been doing acu since October (when I first started IVF) but I didn't take any herbs until april (just before my initial BFP!!!).

mirandala- Glad you were able to find a way to squeeze a cycle in before the year is over. When will that cycle get started? Do you do your IUI unmedicated? Fx!

Loeylo- Hi! Sorry you find yourself here, but I'm glad your body has recovered pretty quickly. End of November will be here fast. I can't believe it's been over 3 months since my mtx shot already!

 

[Savasanna]

YAY Hatethewait!!! It's about the only time we celebrate AF!

GL on your bfp before edd. My edd is actually tomorrow. I'm debating testing then, but I'm worried I'll fall apart if I get a bfn on that day.. so I might wait until Sunday.

However - it makes me nervous to say it but I'm reeeeeaaally liking my chart so far. Eek!

 

[alikat27]

I'd like to join this party too. We found out in early September that we'd miscarried at 6wks and so the docs monitored my HCG for the next few weeks--all dropping nicely (155, 88, 66). The docs were confident enough that I was able to even leave the country for a week. Thursday night, however, I began the worst stomach pains ever along with dizziness and vomiting; went to the ER and they confirmed ectopic on the ultrasound (close to rupturing the tube but it hasn't split yet). I got the methotrexate shot that same night.

Yesterday I felt sore but mostly okay, but today the splitting stomach cramps are back. Doesn't feel like the Thursday pains (no dizziness or vomiting); mostly it just feels like really bad gas that I can't get rid of. It hurts really badly to go to the restroom. Is this normal after the shot? When should I expect these pains to go away? I'm just really scared right now