TTC after Methotrexate shot

[Savasanna]

Aww - yikes! Those last few days of the tww are sooooo tense! I hope you're getting through them with at least some of your sanity in tack!

You're still early so there's plenty of time for that bfp to show it's face! When is AF due?

I'm doing ok - my intake is tomorrow!! I'm so freaking excited I can't even stand it. I'm REALLY looking forward to speaking with a doctor who will listen to my specific and individual case, as opposed to a general practitioner who just goes off of "how people get pregnant". Clearly I do not get pregnant like most do, so I'm really excited about the specialized treatment and second opinion.

On top of that, I spoke with my donor yesterday and as of now he said he's available to visit and have his donation appointments Nov 19-21. As long as they have time for him those days then it looks like we might be on track for a November try! Yay!

Hopefully he doesn't back out on this one. Fx!

Any updates from you, Hatethewait?

 

[mirandala]

Sav I'm so pleased to hear you are going to have specialized care! It really sounds like that will help. I hope your intake goes really well... let us know!! And yay- that's great you could potentially be on for Nov! Fx that works out.

AF is due tomorrow/Friday. It could really go either way at this point- no bfp yet. I am freaking myself out over it (now I wish I bbt'd!) and I requestatest.com ordered a beta- I'll get the result tomorrow. I know I need to chill out a little bit... hopefully this will help (ha!).

 

[Savasanna]

ohhhh noooo.. what is requestatest.com?! I'm going to wish I'd never heard of that, aren't I?

 

[mirandala]

haha maybe! You can order your own tests through it, so you don't have to have a doc order it. The Hcg quant is $39, so not cheap, but when I'm freaking out like this I'd rather know and I know my doc would just tell me to wait and see. I receive results next day.

I'm now 13 dpo. No sign of a bfp poas. I hope I get my period at this point, as I feel like no bfp plus some cramping=ectopic warning signs if I am preggers. I'll let you know when I know- ah!

 

[Savasanna]

Any news?

My appointment was so-so. Liked to doc, didn't love what he said. Mostly because I don't love the situation I'm in though, so that's not his fault. I'm going back in for some bloods on Monday and then my donor has to start with his appointments. He doesn't think we'll have everythign completed for a November try.. so that's a bummer. But, this is the path I'm on so I'm trying to focus on December and not stress too much about missing another month.

 

[Savasanna]

ugggghhhhhh....

I totally forgot that my flipping co-worker's baby shower is today. From 2-4. And this is not something I can get out of because she works in my department even, so I HAVE to go. AND - our office baby shower's are not hte kind where you can pop in and out. You have to sit.. stay... watch them open presents.. listen to everyone tell their pregnancy stories.. have everyone ask you when you're planning on having a child..

omg.. I'm going to cry. I don't know how I'm going to get through this. It's going to kill me..

(sorry.. I don't know where to post this.. so I'm posting it here..)

 

[FarfromHome]

Can I join in? I got diagnosed ectopic yesterday after weeks of not knowing what was going on. I thought I had a miscarriage at the end of my 4th week but my HCG was rising appropriately after 3 beta tests. So, my Dr. left me alone and scheduled me for an ultrasound a week and a half later. I went to the ultrasound and nothing in my uterus except a thickened lining and nothing seen in my tubes. So, more beta monitoring for a week ( my Dr. was really trying to avoid intervention and hoping my betas would fall naturally) but I finally had the tell-tale slow rise, plateau, dip, and then rise again of my HCG. He rushed me in for another ultrasound yesterday and we couldn't see anything that looked like a dead giveway ectopic but he said my left ovary looked "cystic" and that he thought that's what was happening. In fact, he said he wasn't sure if one of the "cysts" was actually my tube all ballooned out.

So, he gave me the option of shot or surgery...said he felt completely fine with which ever one we chose and I decided to have the shot which I got at the hospital yesterday. Trying to trust my Dr. that it's going to be OK... It seems like a lot of the people who have had the shot were diagnosed earlier and have lower HCG than me ( I'm already 8 1/2 weeks and HCG was 9k yesterday)...but he told me multiple times I was a good candidate for the MTX. So, now i'm just waiting. I don't have labs until day 7. Still in a bit of shock...feeling super sad and tired. I've had a really bad headache but I don't know if that's the MTX or just stress and crying.

 

[Savasanna]

Hey hun, so sorry you've found yourself in this situation. It sucks and definitely isn't fair. If you ever want to talk/vent/whatever - know that this is a safe place for all of that. The ladies from this thread (current and past posters) have been incredibly supportive and helpful for me while I was going through the mtx process.

I honestly don't really remember getting a headache when I had my dose.. but mtx is a pretty nasty chemical so I wouldn't be surprised if it's related. Just try to take it easy and pay attention to your body. I also had mtx at about 8 1/2 weeks, but my betas weren't that high. If I'm remembering correctly, I believe they were only like 1200 or so. It took me two weeks after the injection for my numbers to hit zero. It was exhausting. I'm sorry you're going through that right now.

Anyway - just wanted to say hi and welcome. No one wants to find themselves here - but it's been a great thread for me to be a part of.

 

[mirandala]

Big hugs Farfromhome - this is such a hard thing to go through My betas were pretty high- I think they got up to 8000 at their highest point. It took a full month for them to get back down to zero. I had spotting/bleeding through the month but lots of people don't. As Sav said, it's pretty rough and people's bodies deal with it in different ways. I know I was sooo exhausted, emotionally and physically after the shot. Try to be nice to yourself!

-

Sav- I'm sorry that you didn't like what the doc had to say... and a bummer you won't be able to try this month. What blood tests are you doing? And BIG HUG re: the baby shower.. UGH! I had to go to one for a sister in law a week after I had the mtx- that was so awful and she didn't know what was going on with me. Someone brought their baby too and it was so hard. Sending you big hugs. Hope you're feeling okay.

--

Me: Well- I still have negative tests.. The beta was zero. I'm spotting but my AF hasn't properly come. It was due yesterday or today. I know it's weird, given everything, but I just kind of feel pregnant. I don't believe yet that I'm not. When my period comes properly I will believe it... until then I'm having trouble coming to terms with not being pregnant.

 

[loeylo]

I finally got my period on Thursday. My cycle wa two days longer than usual. At least I don't need to worry about birth defects etc.

Think we are going to wait one more cycle to ttc as we are cleared as of the end of the month, so think we are a bit early to try now.

 

[mirandala]

Ioeylo- that time will pass before you know it and you'll be trying again!

--
My AF still hasn't arrived and no BFP. I did another Beta, but haven't had the results back. My breasts are sore and I'm having some pretty sharp cramps/pains in the same spot I had them with my ectopic. I really thought I ovulated on the other side this month, but maybe not. I'm just hoping my AF comes by Monday and I have a gut feeling that if I am pregnant it's not going to be healthy. If it doesn't come by Monday I'll call the doc and see if they have any thoughts. Ugh.

 

[mirandala]

AF finally came today. I feel so relieved, and then a little bit guilty for feeling relief, and then sad there's no chance of a baby for at least another year (I can't try again until end of Jan/early Feb). This is the longest cycle I've had since I started tracking them a couple of years ago. My normal cycle is 25-26 days- I'm at day 29 today.

How is everyone else doing?

 

[FarfromHome]

Thank you so much for all your kind words ladies. My ectopic ruptured last night and I ended up in emergency surgery. Lost my left tube. The recovery has been really hard but I can't help but feel slightly relieved that it's "over" and I don't have to worry anymore and wait for weeks for my betas to fall. I really have no idea what our plan will be from here...all of this has been so hard and I definitely feel like it's going to be awhile before I feel ready again.

 

[Savasanna]

BIG hugs, Farfromhome. I'm so sorry you've had to go through all this. But you're right - at the very least the unknown of this process is over and now you can begin to heal. Don't rush yourself, take all the time you need. How are you feeling today?

Mirandala - remind me why you have to wait until Jan/Feb to try again?

AFM - I had another round of bloodwork done this morning. Nothing too exciting - a panel of stds/HIV, another blood type, some genetic testing and my AMH levels. The last of that is really the only one I'm curious about. Also, my wife and I started the adoption discussions this weekend. A friend of ours was just placed with a 3 month old baby from DHHS last week so we were talking with her about her experience. It's a scary process, as there's the risk of the birth parent stepping back in and retaining custody before the adoption is complete.. but it's something I think we're going to officially put on the back burner in the event this next round of tries (however many that may be) are unsuccessful. It's scary but also feels good to have A plan that involves a baby at the end of this.

 

[Hatethewait85]

Sorry I disappeared for awhile. Life kept me busy

mirandala- acupuncture is definitely supposed to help with ectopics (at least that's what my acupuncturist told me too - she was so surprised that I had one as none of her patients have ever had one while seeing her. I'm just lucky I guess!) That sliding scale is nice. It is definitely a splurge for me to do it. It's really a splurge since my husband started doing it to 6 months ago. Sorry AF finally showed I hate when the long cycles mess with our minds! I have those sometimes too.

sav- sorry you aren't going to be able to get everything done in time for a november try I'm super bummed for you. I'm glad you liked your doc though. That is half the battle. Sorry to hear about your coworkers shower - those are sooooo hard. I hope you got through ok I've definitely been there before. How long until you get your lab results? Anxious to hear how everything checks out for you too. Adoption is on our back burner, too. We looked into it last year but got overwhelmed.

farfromhome- BIG ((HUGS)) I am sooo incredibly sorry for your loss and that you found yourself here. I'm also sorry about your surgery and the loss of your tube. I went through a very similar journey - got mtx at 6.5 weeks, got another dose at 7.5 wks because my hcg wasn't dropping (was over 10,000 at it's highest), and was in the ER with my right tube ruptured at 8 wks. I hated the world for awhile after that and had no desire to ttc for a bit either. If you ever need anyone to talk to, we're all here for you!

loeylo- glad AF arrived!

AFM- AF arrived right on time for a perfect 28 day cycle last month. I'm on CD 6 today and she's still lingering around but will hopefully be gone tomorrow. We have some visitors coming this weekend but will have to sneak in some BD-ing so we have enough hanging around before O! Acupuncture tomorrow, too. We've been changing up the herbs a little each month and made some more changes last week as I've started spotting for 2-3 days before AF comes. I never used to spot and it keeps freaking me out! The first time (and at the time only time) I spotted was with my ectopic. So I really get nervous when it starts!

 

[Savasanna]

Welcome back, Hatethewait! GL this round!

 

[Hatethewait85]

Thanks sav! I see you are getting a try this month too

 

[loeylo]

I am on cd10 on a 28-30 day cycle and been having unprotected sex every day so far, going to keep it up until Monday or Tuesday (can't beyond that for work reasons, boo!) but hopefully in with a chance this month!

 

[Hatethewait85]

Good luck loeylo! Fx!!

How's everyone else doing?

I'm just getting ready to O. Hopefully by Thursday. Today's CD14 and I got the flashing smiley yesterday on the opk's, so just waiting for that solid smiley... Here's to hoping I get a nice juicy left egg!

 

[mirandala]

Good luck with Hatethewait and ioeylo!!!! Fingers crossed for you!!!!!!! Keep us updated!

Sav- the reason I can't try until Feb is because I'm only trying every other month- I alternate pretty regularly and am trying to avoid the left side. I also have some travel over the time I would ovulate for december so it'll have to be in Feb.

Actually I'd love everyone's thoughts. Do you try to avoid inseminating when ovulating from the side of your ectopic, or do you not worry about it?