TTC after Stillbirth - 4 months on

[MrsMabey28]

HI There

I am new to B&B and joined to really get some support and chat with people going through the same thing. Feel I am a bit on my own in the real world!

September 14th 2015 at 36 weeks I gave birth to our gorgeous baby boy, weighing a fab 6lb 3oz. He was perfect, except for the fact his heart had stopped on the 12th September.

Felt reduced movements for only 2 hours, used a home fetal monitor which I couldn't find his heartbeat, this was confirmed at the maternity unit. Post Mortem found nothing wrong, consultant just advised to take baby asprin throughout TTC process when we were ready.

This brings me to now, we have been TTC from as soon as we could physically. Last two months I have BBT'd and cervix checked, alongside OPK.

I feel this month I have defiantly ovulated - spot outbreaks, cramping one side along with a flashing smiley OPK 2 days before (ran out of tests to continue). Fertitlty friend has also pinpointed O on day 15 where as last month was day 21 and temps were all over the place.

So although feeling positive I know that implantation should occur in the next 3-5 days and I'm praying for some good luck.

Myself and DH dtd around twice a day every day (always have is not new because of TTC) so theres not much else really we can do.

Just wondered if anyone has any tips on being able to mentally switch off - Seems to be on my mind no matter what I do. We have a 6 year old son who is very independant. Just cant wait to be pregnant again!!

 

[Miss Mitch]

HI There

I am new to B&B and joined to really get some support and chat with people going through the same thing. Feel I am a bit on my own in the real world!

September 14th 2015 at 36 weeks I gave birth to our gorgeous baby boy, weighing a fab 6lb 3oz. He was perfect, except for the fact his heart had stopped on the 12th September.

Felt reduced movements for only 2 hours, used a home fetal monitor which I couldn't find his heartbeat, this was confirmed at the maternity unit. Post Mortem found nothing wrong, consultant just advised to take baby asprin throughout TTC process when we were ready.

This brings me to now, we have been TTC from as soon as we could physically. Last two months I have BBT'd and cervix checked, alongside OPK.

I feel this month I have defiantly ovulated - spot outbreaks, cramping one side along with a flashing smiley OPK 2 days before (ran out of tests to continue). Fertitlty friend has also pinpointed O on day 15 where as last month was day 21 and temps were all over the place.

So although feeling positive I know that implantation should occur in the next 3-5 days and I'm praying for some good luck.

Myself and DH dtd around twice a day every day (always have is not new because of TTC) so theres not much else really we can do.

Just wondered if anyone has any tips on being able to mentally switch off - Seems to be on my mind no matter what I do. We have a 6 year old son who is very independant. Just cant wait to be pregnant again!!

Hello!

I am so very sorry for your late loss - It does get easier, and you will never forget your little boy.

I also lost my girl at 21 weeks almost 4 years ago now - and I am just about to start trying myself.

The ache I have to be pregnany and have a healthy child is unbelievable.

I don't think there I have any tips as such, and as stupid and annoying as its sounds, you've just got to try and push the negative thoughts away, you cant change what may or may not happen, so you can either worry about it, and have one outcome, or not worry about it and have the same outcome! That's what I try and tell myself any way - 4 years later, its started working for me! xx

 

[LoraLoo]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby boy, it's so unfair.

We lost Eve at 5 days old, Alfie 18 weeks into the pregnancy, Eden 15 weeks in, and the last 2 pregnancies have resulted in early miscarriages. We are blessed to have 5 healthy babies.

Ttc is hard and stressful. But worth it when that bsby is placed in your arms.

I just try and think as every passing month as a month closer to that little baby, but it's hard.

Really hope it's your month- good luck xx

 

[MrsMabey28]

Hello!

I am so very sorry for your late loss - It does get easier, and you will never forget your little boy.

I also lost my girl at 21 weeks almost 4 years ago now - and I am just about to start trying myself.

The ache I have to be pregnany and have a healthy child is unbelievable.

I don't think there I have any tips as such, and as stupid and annoying as its sounds, you've just got to try and push the negative thoughts away, you cant change what may or may not happen, so you can either worry about it, and have one outcome, or not worry about it and have the same outcome! That's what I try and tell myself any way - 4 years later, its started working for me! xx

Thank you for your reply, and sorry to hear of your loss. I wish you the best in your journey .. Its so hard to block out negativity, but your right. Think i may need to find a new hobby!!

 

[MrsMabey28]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby boy, it's so unfair.

We lost Eve at 5 days old, Alfie 18 weeks into the pregnancy, Eden 15 weeks in, and the last 2 pregnancies have resulted in early miscarriages. We are blessed to have 5 healthy babies.

Ttc is hard and stressful. But worth it when that bsby is placed in your arms.

I just try and think as every passing month as a month closer to that little baby, but it's hard.

Really hope it's your month- good luck xx

SO sorry to hear of your multiple losses but how amazing to have 5 healthy babies. I can imagine the feeling of elation having a healthy baby after a loss. I just pray that I can get that oppertunity x

 

[Miss Mitch]

Hello!

I am so very sorry for your late loss - It does get easier, and you will never forget your little boy.

I also lost my girl at 21 weeks almost 4 years ago now - and I am just about to start trying myself.

The ache I have to be pregnany and have a healthy child is unbelievable.

I don't think there I have any tips as such, and as stupid and annoying as its sounds, you've just got to try and push the negative thoughts away, you cant change what may or may not happen, so you can either worry about it, and have one outcome, or not worry about it and have the same outcome! That's what I try and tell myself any way - 4 years later, its started working for me! xx

Thank you for your reply, and sorry to hear of your loss. I wish you the best in your journey .. Its so hard to block out negativity, but your right. Think i may need to find a new hobby!!

That may help! I have started trying to go to the gym with my partner, and have started writing a diary that I must write 3 positive things a day in - we will see how that goes! lol.

I'm here if youo want a talk, rant or moan xx

 

[Uni tsi]

MrsMabey, I'm so sorry for your loss. We have a lot in common - I lost my little one at 35 weeks with no known cause or explanation. It is so unfair that either of us had to go through such a horrible thing. My heart aches right along with you.

What I can say is that the ladies here are so wonderful and supportive, it has really helped me a lot and really made it possible to stay positive even when I was otherwise in a very dark place. Having people to talk to who understand what you're going through can make all the difference.

Here's hoping you get your sticky bean this month!

 

[MrsMabey28]

MrsMabey, I'm so sorry for your loss. We have a lot in common - I lost my little one at 35 weeks with no known cause or explanation. It is so unfair that either of us had to go through such a horrible thing. My heart aches right along with you.

What I can say is that the ladies here are so wonderful and supportive, it has really helped me a lot and really made it possible to stay positive even when I was otherwise in a very dark place. Having people to talk to who understand what you're going through can make all the difference.

Here's hoping you get your sticky bean this month!

Thank you so much for your reply, and so sorry to hear you've been through the same thing. We too had no explanation .. just 'bad luck' as the consultant put it.

Fingers crossed - Ive thrown myself into a new fitness and diet routine to try and get back to being healthy body and mind!!

 

[Uni tsi]

I have trouble blaming "bad luck". I find it really hard not having an explanation. Like, I just want a label so I can search for it online and understand what happened. I want to be able to research what happened and have a way to prevent it next time. It's hard not having that.

I think that's a great idea to focus on becoming more fit. That is what I have been doing as well. I also really like miss mitch's idea about writing down three positive things every day. I think I might try that. Some days are easier than others.

Both times I've gotten pregnant, I had just started seeing positive effects from a fitness routine. So, I really think that does help!