TTC - ectopic survivor - one tube!

[BronteForever]

Hey Greek Girl. Welcome to have you and good luck as you start trying to conceive again. It is a scary process after an ectopic because you don't know what to expect. Really hope you get good news and it's not too long of a journey this time around. So sorry for your past loss. Hugs. It's never easy.

 

[mod19]

Hi guys I know I've been away for awhile.

Bronte I know you said your trip was good...but what did you do?!?! I'm excited to hear about everything. So many things are so different in other countries and I love hearing anout/seeing them. When do your actual injections start? I don't think I could give myself shots either. Oh I'm so excited for you. For whatever reason I see you with a baby boy. Not strange vibe or anything weird, just how I picture you .

Breaking and Trish I'm so sorry about the bfns. Reading I'm sure the spotting was nothing to worry about. Weird things happen sometimes.

Welcome to anyone new!

Afm-I took ttc completely off the table. I told dh I'm moving home with or without him after christmas. I've started selling dds things shes grown out of and started an emergency stash if cash for dd and myself.

 

[BronteForever]

Oh Mod - hugs. So how did your husband take this news? Did he seem on board with going with you? It sounds alot like you are planning on it just being your daughter and you. Either way it's such a tough decision. I hope it goes well. Even if you aren't TTC please keep us updated and stay in touch.

We had a wonderful time in Spain. We went primarily for my husband since he was racing in a duathlon world championships (run, bike, run). So about 6 days were taken up with festivities for him. But it was super cool to be apart of. The city we were in (Aviles) was on the northern coast and not nearly as touristy as many places I've been in Europe so it was fun to see a bit more authentic culture. Plus they had some neat opening ceremonies, parade of nations, fireworks, etc for the race mixed in with performances which made it fun. I'm big on just walking around and looking at architecture. So I did a lot of that while hubby was busy. I got a one-on-one private tour of the city too since no one else showed up for one. It was a great way to learn a ton in a short time. Afterwards we took the train to Madrid and were there for 3 days. Did a ton more walking and looked at lots of plazas, cathedrals, the Prado art museum, shopping, and way too much eating.

 

[BronteForever]

Oh and I started spotting today so AF should be here in about 2-4 days. My guess is closer to 2. Then I have a baseline scan on CD2 and if that goes well, injections start CD3. So I'll BD starting by the end of the week most likely!

And that's so weird you see me with a boy. I've only ever thought of girl names since I've always thought that's what we might have. But I think the mother is almost always wrong

 

[mod19]

I absolutely LOVE looking at architecture! It's so crazy to think how some of the things were made. And tours are awesome. It's very cool that where you were wasn't touristy. Just people living their everyday lives without all the exploitation must be so cool to witness. Not that foreign countries are a zoo or anything, but I'm sure you understand where I'm coming from.

Yes, as for now it's looking like it will just be me and dd moving. He told me he can't leave yet, and I said that's fine, to cone when you're ready. I honestly think some time apart will do us good. I am resentful though that he's picking the dd that he sees 4 days a month and then hardly talks to when we do have her over the one he lives with. But that's his decision. We'll see what happens when the time comes.
Just to give you an example: dd was sick early last week. So sick that she missed Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday of daycare. (Last time I asked dh to stay home with her when she was sick he said no because it comes out of his vacation time, so I never asked again. Point taken) in the meantime I got sick and still had to go to work feeling like absolute crap Thursday and Friday. Friday I was working in the freezer all day and was he'll for me being as sick as I was. I pick dd up from daycare, stop at the store to get her some fruit (we were out and I'm big on making sure she eats well), come home, drop the bag on the ground, and sit down-something I was unable to do all day. Dh was busy getting ready for softball that night. He walks in says she's chewing on an unpeeled banana and says he needs to get ready and walks out. He knows I'm sick. He knows I was busting my ass in the freezer all day. He knows she's hungry. It would have taken him 30 seconds to put dd in her chair and peel a banana, but wouldnt, because softball was more important. I'm just done. Hes been doing more and trying harder since I told him I was going home, but I've honestly given up already and it's too late.

 

[BronteForever]

Yes I know where you are coming from regarding seeing people as they actually live. They observe siesta in the town we were at and it was actually interesting seeing everything completely shut down from 3-6 pm everyday. Love seeing simple cultural things like that.

Anyway in regards to your husband I'm so sorry. It sounds like you might just need a break in general and I imagine being closer to family could definetly help a lot with that. You sound exhausted. Kudos to you for knowing what is best for you and your daughter and working towards that. A break from your husband might definetly help. My husband and I have done that from time to time and it is helpful.

Though I'm going to be honest and say your husband sounds a lot like mine. We got in an argument earlier because he was trying to tell me his schedule in the next few weeks so I could work appointments around it and he seemed to be expecting me to control when our IVF retrieval happens around his teaching schedule and I not so kindly told him its related to my body and it can't be controlled. We argue about schedules a lot. Everyone needs their own space. My husband is also clueless unless I basically say EXACTLY what I need. That is hard for me to do. And you sound similar to me in that we try to avoid drama or arguments at times so sometimes just don't say anything and internalize it and just get angry. That stuff builds up so much until you can't take it and sounds like you have reached a breaking point.

I completely understand and know how frustrating it can be. But at the same time I know my hubby doesn't do it on purpose. He's just completely clueless. We often joke that after 15 years of marriage you'd think we'd know what the other one really means when they say stuff or need something, but we often don't. Doesn't make it easier to deal with, but just know I suspect your husband is probably similar in that he's not doing it from a place of anger. He's just not thinking. Men are stupid sometimes.

I really hope the break might help or you get it resolved before then. If you need to vent more please do. It can definetly help to get it out.

 

[breakingdawn]

Just popping in for a few ladies..

Mod.. I am sorry about all of that. I sure hope things work out the best for all of you. Sometimes a break can be good. One way or the other, I will be thinking of you guys.

Bronte -- I am wishing you tons of luck and sending lots of baby dust for your upcoming cycle. I will check in from time to time for the good news.

Welcome Greek Girl, this small group has a wonderful support system.

AFM I am on CD3 and things are slowing down. I have been worried about a few medical concerns and even for my dog as well. It turns out she may have another tumor which will need to be removed. It has been a hard, hard week. I have been extremely depressed. Her vet appointment is Monday.. my big doctor appointment to discuss MANY things now... is Wednesday. Here's hoping I make it through the weekend with minimal anxiety attacks.

 

[BronteForever]

Oh breaking - I hate when dogs are sick. This is horrible. Hope they can remove it and she's alright.

 

[mod19]

Breaking I'm so sorry about your dog. Good luck with your upcoming appointments. I hope they go well and you get the a swears you are looking for.

Bronte, yes, that sounds A LOT like my husband. He's in his own world and completely oblivious that I'm run down on taking dd to any from daycare, getting her ready in the am, working a 10 hour day, cooking, cleaning, laundry, feeding dd, cleaning up after dd, putting dd to sleep...all while he only has to look out for himself and then comes home and sits his ass on the couch and watches baseball all night. And when I say something about helping his response is "I worked all day, I just want to relax" grrrr! (Although, like I said before, since our little talk he's started doing more.) And thank you for letting me vent! I'm definitely like you and just don't say anything and walk around pissed off a lot, because if I do, then he'll be pissed, so I eff it.

 

[mod19]

Also I don't know why I see you with a boy, it's just what I've always pictured. I swore I was having a boy. Even had dreams of a boy. I'm such a tomboy I wouldn't even know what to do with a girl...then we found out it was a girl, and I cried, because she was supposed to be a boy. Now I can't imagine her being a boy. She's so awesome and amazing. God knew I needed a little girl

 

[BronteForever]

Mod - glad your talk has helped but goodness I don't understand how he can't see you are tired and worn out. Men.

I'm going to tell you what would help with my hubby and maybe it will with yours. But as mentioned I have to be super specific. So if I said something like do you mind "helping" he automatically feels attacked and goes on the defensive. But if you mention something like "I'm going to get daughter cleaned and ready for bed, do you think there's anyway you could do the dishes while I'm working on that" might work. Stating exactly what you need helps because a.) he doesn't have to think and b.) he knows what to do. My husband also gets defensive when he doesn't know what to actually do. Then the bonus of saying what you are doing helps him feel a part of the process.

Anyway sometimes just rephrasing it helps and definetly don't be afraid to say stuff...frequently. You need help and he needs to step up. I have every confidence you all can work through this. Since you are at a breaking point you likely don't want to at all. But when you are ready, I know you all can. Good luck.

My husband and I went through a super rough patch after our ectopic. We basically had to learn how to communicate with each other all over again because we'd gotten to the point where we didn't even have any interest in the other one and no interest in talking to each other. But with a lot of work and some distance we did work it out. I'm routing for you!

 

[BronteForever]

Ha - and I feel the same way if we'd have a boy. I wouldn't know what to do. Even though I was a tomboy growing up and not really girly. Oh well. What happens will happen I'm sure. Though we might get to pick at some point. We'll see.

 

[breakingdawn]

Hey ladies.. how is everyone doing? The forum break has been REALLY nice. I have not felt stress or pressure about TTC at all since my break. But I do still like to check in here.

My dog went to the vet this morning and it is NOT another tumor. This was such a relief. It took a lot of weight off my shoulders.

My gyno visit is Wednesday. I am hoping to discuss some things and see where we will go from here.

I am on CD8 today and already getting pre ovulation symptoms. I started testing today for O just to be safe. Will keep you ladies posted.

 

[BronteForever]

So glad you had a nice break from the forums. I'm sure it can really help not to get hyper focused on TTC. And wonderful news about your dog. Yay!!!

Good luck this cycle. Hope the visit goes well and you get some ideas of possible next steps if it doesn't happen this cycle. Good luck!

I'm on day 3 of stims and definitely feeling it today, since I'm bloated and a bit achy everywhere. But it's not been too bad. I have my next ultrasound appointment tomorrow and I'm very curious to see how things are progressing.

 

[breakingdawn]

Exciting Bronte! Please feel free to keep us updated here. Like I said, this is the one thread I will be checking off and on. I took a break from all the other threads because it was literally one BFP after another and it was just making me feel really bad... and I did not want to feel that way. I have felt so relaxed I did not even know what CD I was on until I looked today! I started feeling my usual pre O signs and was like crap, I guess I better check! Haha. I think I also won't be as hard on myself if it is another BFN in July since I am not so "consumed" in it anymore.

I hope things continue to go smoothly for you! Really rooting for you.

 

[BronteForever]

Thanks so much. I definetly had to take a break a few months. Having a more relaxed approach should definetly help. It's too hard to stay focused on it so much. Good for you.

I'll definetly keep you updated on my progress. Stuff won't get too interesting until next week.

 

[breakingdawn]

I'm excited for you!

CD9 here.. Started using opks just because of all the pre O stuff going on. Still negative. I don't expect to see much until CD11 or 12. We had not planned to BD until after my appointment tomorrow though just to make sure I'm okay concerning a couple different things. If the appointment goes okay we will BD tomorrow night I'm sure. CD10 is normally when we start anyway. Since I O around CD14ish!

 

[mod19]

Well guys...off topic (again), but one of my coworkers grandson was born yesterday at only 26 weeks. He was 1.6 lbs and 12". The picture on fb is so sad...he's in a zip lock bag to stay warm! They say both momma and baby are doing good and he's healthy...but that sort of thing scares the crap outta me! I was threatened to deliver at 28 weeks with dd, but luckily was able to carry her to term. Just thinking about that was scary...I can't imaging going through it!

 

[BronteForever]

Really hope the appointment goes well and starting BDing tomorrow sounds like it shouldn't be an issue at all, given when you normally ovulate. Good luck!

My ultrasound went well today and I have about 17 follicles she could find (11 on the left and 6 on the right). So curious how things will progress and if my scar tissue from the ectopic will cause significant different results in the two ovaries. My right one is the one that should have more scar tissue, so it is fascinating there are less; however, the sizes vary more that side and are up to 11 mm already, compared to 9 mm on the opposite ovary. So interesting.

 

[BronteForever]

Oh mod- that would be a horrible experience for them. But so glad he's still around and hopefully going to pull through. It's amazing what they can do in the NICU these days.

How are you doing too?