TTC - ectopic survivor - one tube!

[breakingdawn]

Bronte - sounds good to me!?

I'm really nervous about my appointment. I think I have a hernia. Which will put a damper on the TTC process. I've noticed a bulge on the left side of my stomach, especially when I bend over, and it hangs way lower than my right side. In addition, sometimes there is a mild pain - poking type feeling just on that side. I know abdominal surgeries can cause the stomach wall to weaken which can cause hernias and I've had three abdominal surgeries. Two c sections and 1 ectopic surgery. Odds are high this is what it is. I'm very nervous and scared. Please send prayers.

 

[BronteForever]

Breaking - well that sucks. Not fun. Hope it's not a hernia or that you need another surgery.

 

[breakingdawn]

I am fairly certain that is what it is, unless God forbid it is something worse. But the bulge is 100% not normal. It is very obvious.

 

[mod19]

Breaking I'm so sorry. When is your appt scheduled?

Bronte I'm so excited for you starting this process! It's been a long time coming.

I'll post about my life when I have more time because I'm sure it'll turn into a book again.

Update on baby-he's doing well. I didn't know this yesterday but he's apparently breathing on his own! Such good news! They have him hooked up anyways just incase though. And momma is doing so well! She's completely healthy now that he's out and only has to stay the standard 3 days for a c section. I make preemie hats and blankets for babies that are born too early so that they don't get handed their baby in an ugly hospital blanket and so they have at least something to take home, so I went home and made him a little hat and blanket. I'm so excited that I got to make one for a living preemie

 

[BronteForever]

Mod - what a wonderful and sweet thing to make for those preemie's. So glad you got to give one to someone you know as well and that he is doing better. That's great news. Looking forward to an update on your life as well. You have been in my thoughts!

Breaking - good luck today.

 

[breakingdawn]

Mod - glad the baby is doing well!

Ladies, today was an absolute rollercoaster of emotions! I was sent for an immediate ultrasound concerning my stomach. All I heard was "ovarian tumor" and I almost passed out. However, the u/s came back 100% clear! No tumors, no fluids, uterus looked good... Annnnnnd she saw the follicle forming on my left ovary and said I would be ovulating soon (the next few days or so) and it's my good side!!!!

So at this point all that's left is a pelvic / abdominal CT scan which my doctor says it's highly unlikely they will find something. So I'm thinking just maybe since I've lost weight it's a weird uneven fat distribution from all the past tummy surgeries. Of course if anything changes or gets worse I'll go through with a CT scan but for now just going to wait it out and see if anything changes or gets worse. I did lose almost 10lbs since dieting and working out! So it's possible there's a weird fat issue going on around all the scar tissue. I'm hoping that's all it is!!!

 

[BronteForever]

Breaking - so glad to hear that in the end it was good news for now. But yes the tumor word probably would have sent me into an immediate panic as well. Hopefully you can get the CT scan later to check it out if needed.

What did they tell you about TTC? Are they going to do any tests yet if this month doesn't happen? Good news the follicle is on your left/good side. Yay for small victories. I'll keep my fingers crossed it's more good news this month.

 

[breakingdawn]

I was so excited hearing about ovulating from my good side! I swear it was a rollercoaster of emotions today!

So, he said since I stopped the pill in March they don't even count the first three months since it takes your body about 3 months to regulate after coming off the pill plus my age. So he's starting in June. Ugh. Which I understand. I don't even think I ovulated in March or April so he may be right there. He said if I'm not pregnant by February they would consider a dye test. I'm good with that for now.

 

[mod19]

So now that I have some time...

Bronte I'm so happy that they see so many follicles. Awesome news!

Breaking that's so awesome that it was nothing! Uneven fat distribution vs tumor = awesomeness! Are they going to start you on clomid if it doesn't happen for you this month?

Afm- well not much has changed really. Dh is trying now, and I can see that, but I feel like I'm already shut off. He even comes over to the sink now and asks if I want him to finish the dishes...what?!?! I've asked for your help for so long and now that it's too late, now that I've already made up my mind and my decision is set in stone, now you wanna help? It's frustrating, but doesn't make me feel any different. And im not just moving for just my sake. If it was just me I'd bite the bullet but a huge part is because of dd. She needs to be around people that WANT to be around her and are willing to help me out if she's sick and I need to go to work. I call into work at AT LEAST once every other work because she's not feeling well. At least she's finally getting tubes put in on the 13th. Hopefully that will take care of things since most of her issues are ear infections. But since she's so young they have to put her under to do it, which scares the crap outta me. Anyways, my family has see dd more than his has. Which is so sad since we have to fly to see each other and dh family lives 15 minutes away. Her cousins back home are more her age (18months, 5,5,6 and 12)) where her youngest cousin here is 8. But the fact that my mom has seen her more than his mom is reason enough to get her where she's wanted. It breaks my heart that my parents see all their grandchildren at least once a week, and she will go months here without seeing anyone she's related to.

So anyways, I feel bad that he's trying now, and I feel bad that I'm going to be taking his little girl away (he's started playing with her more), but she needs to be where she's wanted. It's just so sad it had to come to this point in order for him to start helping me. Up until now I've felt like a single mom...he waited until it was too late.

 

[BronteForever]

Breaking- February seems like you have awhile yet before needing to worry at all. Makes sense they don't technically count 3 months after BCPs. Hopefully that was reaffirming to you. Good luck!

Oh mod - I'm so sorry. But it really sounds like you are making the best decision to get you and your daughter to a location that will be better for you and provide you with a better support system. You really need to look out for you and your daughter for sure. I'm pleased to see he is stepping up and helping more.

You said he has another child there which is why he doesn't want to leave, correct? How old is that child and how often does he she him or her? So do you think he could look into moving with you if you work that out? Or at least sometime in the future?

 

[mod19]

Bronte even in the summer when she doesn't have school we get her every other weekend, or 4 nights a month. And when we do have her he sits on his phone and doesn't even hardly talk to her, and makes it a big deal if we have to have her an extra weekend, so to say I'm upset that I'm here because of her is an understatement. She'll be 13 this year. He told me he can't leave her yet. I said that's fine, move when you're ready, but Laken and I will be moving next year.

I don't hate him, I love him, but right now I despise him.

 

[BronteForever]

I don't blame you at all Mod. I'd be upset as well. If she's 14 by the time you move then she's not going to want to spend much time with either parent soon, I'm sure. So hopefully he will see that he could still work out a travel schedule that could have him seeing her not that much less then he does now. I know it will be hard to work out, but you have to do what's best for your kid and if that means leaving then he can work it out with his other daughter, I'm confident.

It is a tricky situation, all around.

Good luck!

 

[breakingdawn]

Mod - your happiness comes first. Just remember that.. well and your DD! Do what you have to do and what you feel in your heart is best.

Ugh well CD10 and I almost have a positive OPK. What the fudge?? We have not gotten in ANY tries because I wanted to have my doctor appointment first. Boo. We will get one in tonight at least. I don't see myself actually O'ing until CD13/14 so maybe we can get a few tries in before then.

 

[mod19]

Hope you get some sessions in breaking! Good luck this month.

So prime example: I feel like absolute shit. I know dd does too cuz we have the same thing. Dh had it about 2 weeks ago so he knows what it's like. There's this stomach bug going around thats, well...let's just say you need a tub while you're on the toilet...
Anyways, his friend calls, mind you he lives in Tennessee and gets deployed a lot, but now he won't watch dd so I can sleep. I never get sleep! I can't call into work because he never will and use call ins for dd...so now even when I'm not working I can't just be sick. I'm so frustrated! It's not hard to watch her walk around the living room with a sippy cup in one hand and a ball in the other! W T F?!

 

[BronteForever]

Oh my goodness Mod. Girl you need a break and always sound like you are sick now. It sounds aweful and I really hope you feel better. I am so sorry that your husband is not stepping up to help you. That's horrible.

If you move back home do you plan on living with family for sometime or finding your own place?

Breaking - good luck. Hope you find sometime and O holds off a few days yo help.

 

[breakingdawn]

I agree, break time for you Mod.. and thanks ladies. We got one try in tonight at least! Like I said I feel a lot more laid back and positive this cycle. If it happens awesome, if not, there's always next month.

 

[breakingdawn]

I'm on CD11 with already a positive opk. Frustrating because it came early but it's okay. I think tomorrow will be the peak and I won't actually O until Saturday ish. We got a try in last night and I may hold off until tomorrow because every other day really helps with his swimmer count. Days in a row kills his stamina. So we will see..

 

[BronteForever]

Good luck breaking. It's sounding promising already this month! I love the relaxed approach as well!

 

[breakingdawn]

I already told hubby I won't harass him daily like last month! Haha.. Chances are I won't actually O until this weekend some time since I seem to have long surges so we will do another try tomorrow and maybe Saturday. Last month we did three days in a row and he was so burnt out by the third day there wasn't really any swimmers left! :X Worst case if I do O very early we still tried last night.

 

[mod19]

Breaking good thing you got in a session last night! Fingers crossed for a laid back month!

Bronte how are things with you holding up?

When I move home I'll be moving back in with my parents. They have a 5 bedroom house on a 5 acre lot, so needless to say there's plenty of room for the 2, possibly 3 of us.

We'll ladies, I have a sad update on baby. Unfortunately little man left us today. Apparently he had an infection which caused his blood to be acidic and there was nothing they could do. I'm so devastated for them. She can't have anymore babies because of how her body handles pregnancy. The next one won't even make it to 26 weeks, so she's done and has to bury one. My heart is broken for them. My problems are so obsolete compared to what this family is going through...