TTC - ectopic survivor - one tube!

[breakingdawn]

Thank you for the support Bronte! It means a lot. I am really pulling for your next cycle. Continuing to keep you in my thoughts.

 

[mod19]

They really should. It pisses me off that thet obviously knew but failed to tell the or patients. And its not like this is pocket change here. You're messing with people's bank accounts and emotions. Ugh I'm so mad at them for you!

Sorry breaking...I haven't been meaning to ignore you girl, I'm just mad at Brontes Dr's lol. I'm sorry it didn't happen for you last month, but I'm so happy for you that you're taking the laid back approach. It's so much less stressful and you can enjoy life more!

 

[breakingdawn]

No worries Mod. I didn't think you were trying to ignore me. I haven't had a whole lot to update really but the usual... And I know Bronte needs the support and encouragement right now. I'm just in a boring limbo. Good news is I'm no longer depressed about it and I've come to terms with the whole "whatever will be will be" idea. It's made life a lot better!

 

[mod19]

Oh I'm so happy for you! It does make life so much easier!

 

[breakingdawn]

Thank you I am still loosely tracking O.. I have been getting a lot of left ovary pain which is odd because I was sure it would be from my bad side this month. Maybe not? I did an OPK today just to see and the line is fairly dark. Not positive, but I think it may be positive tomorrow or CD12 at the latest. I think if we can manage every other day this week, I will be happy with that. I know some women do daily BD'ing and multiple times a day, we just don't have the time or stamina anymore!

 

[BronteForever]

I think every other day is fine. Good luck catching it and really hope it ends up being from your good side. It's so hard to tell, because it really is random which side it will release from that month.

 

[breakingdawn]

Still getting a decent amount of left side pain so that's hopeful. I'm on CD11 and my OPK was almost positive! I took the photo after it dried but it wasn't quite positive. I think CD12 or 13 will be O day. Which is fine because we got a BD in last night and will do another tomorrow and last one Friday. I won't test anymore with OPKs after tomorrow since I'm having so many O signs.

 

[breakingdawn]

CD12, cramping (a lot of sharp left side pain).. Thinking O will be tonight or early tomorrow. We will BD tonight, Friday may be too late. I doubt he will be up for it Thursday though.

 

[breakingdawn]

Just a small update, I am 9 or 10DPO and I feel like I am seeing faint lines on a HPT. Not getting my hopes up yet.....

 

[BronteForever]

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. I don't see anything, but I never do in pictures that early that ladies post on here. But I really hope it's a positive for you.

 

[breakingdawn]

One more photo

 

[mod19]

I definitely see something! I can't see any color yet, but there is something there! Eek!

Bronte how is everything going?

 

[breakingdawn]

There is a light pink color in person and it did show up within 5 minutes. I'm only about 9dpo so I'm early. I'll check again Wednesday. I hope both of you are doing okay.

 

[BronteForever]

Any updates? Or are you waiting until tomorrow to test again? Excited to hear about it. Good luck!

Mod - I'm not doing great emotionally to be honest and I feel much less positive that we will conceive now than before I started IVF. I finally have my follow up with my doctor tomorrow but based on what the other one said I'm going to wait a bit to lose more weight and take a ton of supplements for egg quality. I start acupuncture next week. She recommends 6 months of it before seeing improvements in egg quality due to how eggs mature (though everyone else usually does a minimum of 3 months - longer is still better). Since I'm dealing with age it's not a great position to be in. We'll see what my doctor says tomorrow.

 

[breakingdawn]

Well, I could have sworn I updated with my new photo here today.. guess not. Bronte, I am sorry to hear you are not doing well. I am sure it is a stressful and highly emotional process. I always feel bad giving any positive updates if others are not feeling so good. Please feel free to update here tomorrow.

I'll attach a picture of the new test. Top test is yesterday, bottom was from today. Neither was using FMU. I will not test again until Thursday. AF is not due until Friday or Saturday.

 

[BronteForever]

Breaking - oh I see it on the bottom one. I really hope this sticks. Keeping my fingers crossed for you.

And don't feel bad at all. I'm honestly so used to it by now. I've been at this for more than 7 years (not straight, but pretty much). So I honestly enjoy celebrating with others. I know it doesn't impact my journey in any way and it's nice to celebrate other's pregnancies. I do respect that it is hard for some though so that's sweet of you to be concerned.

And yes it is an incredibly emotional process doing IVF. I think merely because it's the end of the line and nothing is left after it for a biological kid. There's adoption but that has it's own unique set of issues so I really include them in two seperate lines I'm just frustrated with a lot of my first cycle and how my care was handled that it's annoying to some extend that a lot of this is in the doctors hands and they decide my fate based on their decisions. So I've been reading IVF studies all week in prep to talk with my doctors. I'm getting super educated along the way too since I can't just trust them.

 

[breakingdawn]

I told my best friend tonight.. and it was really hard. She does have a son and it took her several years to have him. She really wanted one more but found out recently she has basically no eggs left. I debated on whether it would upset her more to tell her, or wait a while. I ended up telling her and I could tell it did hurt her but she seemed happy for me. They are now looking in to adoption. I am very mindful of those who have struggled much longer and harder than myself and I just don't want to flaunt anything, if that makes sense? But thank you... I am nervous for sure. Always worried about ectopic, etc. The good news is, I am seeing lines pretty early. With my ectopic I did not get any lines until AF was late. I am trying to be hopeful. I will give another test update Thursday.

Don't forget to update with your doctor appointment. I have really been rooting for you.

 

[BronteForever]

That must be a common diagnosis lately because I've seen about five people in the past few weeks that have been told they have a diminished reserve or high FSH. Some are moving onto IVF but that's a hard process with that diagnosis but definetly still doable. Hope they have good luck with adoption if that's the route they take.

And I think it's harder with people in "real life" for no other reason than we are strictly focused on TTC mostly on here so that's the focus of the conversations. But friends span lots of different spots in our lives and sometimes just bringing up a positive can get a bit overwhelming hearing because you know you'll be surrounded by pregnancy for a few months which can be a bit harder to deal with in person. Doesn't mean you aren't still happy for the person at all. It is just a bit tough for everyone involved, I agree.

 

[BronteForever]

And yes I know it is hard not to think about another ectopic but I agree it is a good sign you are seeing lines at this point.

 

[breakingdawn]

Just wanted to drop by with a quick update.. I have a doctor appointment Friday morning.