TTC for 19+ months...ripping hair out (sensitive)

[Jessiejess]

Hi...I'm new here so forgive me for griping but I'm hoping there's someone here in a similar situation. I'm 34, OH is 40. I have 3 sons from my previous marriage ages 10,12 & 13. OH and I have been TTC now for a little over 19 months. I started to see a RE but due to a change in my insurance I can't afford to see her any more. I have a high FSH (17.6) this was my diagnosis as to why I haven't and probably won't get pregnant on my own according to the RE. I'm temping, charting, checking CM and cervical position every month and o do OPKs....I ovulate on the 13th day of my cycle religiously. What's really frustrating me and making me feel terribly guilty for even feeling it, is that oh has been ill the past 3 months in a row during my ovulation time! That's 3 months of no BD'ing and no chance of getting pregnant. I do t know what to do. He says he's sorry and that he wants this as much as I do if not more but he doesn't want to even make an attempt at BD'ing if he feels ill. Am I crazy to feel this way? I mean he's sick, but not THAT sick. Like he's got a stomach ache or a headache or a little cold...silly things that I would and have always put aside to BD with him. I don't know. I just feel time slipping away the longer it gets put off. I'm losing hope quickly. I also have very high cholesterol (not able to be controlled by diet or exercise alone) and I need to get back on meds for my own health. I've been off these meds for over two years. Things just are compiling and time is definitely of the essence. But am I being too greedy or rediculous about this all?
Thanks for letting me vent.

 

[readyformore]

No, I don't think you're being ridiculous. But, I don't think that a few months will make that much of a difference either, except to your emotional health and state of mind.

I think that women are so emotionally charged about ttc that it really overcomes everything in our lives. Men? Not so much. While I think most men want a family and want to make their wives happy, they don't feel the same sense of urgency that us women do. I know that I want to be pregnant yesterday and my husband would not feel uneasy about leaving me to go on a trip during my fertile time. TTC really has taken over my life and all of my focus, but not any of my husband's.

((hugs))

On a side note, I'm also 34 and ttc #4.