TTC is consuming me :(

[.Mrs.B.]

It's 1.30am and I can't sleep, AF just arrived which leads me onto my 5th cycle ttc (though we've been ntnp since Jan). DS will be one in 3 weeks time and I really wanted to be pregnant again by now, the close age gap I wanted is slipping away and there's nothing I can do about it. It's getting me so down.

When I told OH earlier that AF had arrived all he said was 'well I'm glad you're not pregnant after all that wine you drank yesterday'. All I had was one and a half small glasses of wine. I just feel really sad right now. It's my birthday tomorrow as well.

 

[KrystleY]

I feel your pain, all we seem to think about over the past year is getting pregnant, and every time AF shows up its just heart breaking....keeping fingers crossed for you, me and everyone else hoping for their own little bundles of joy!

 

[Coco Tutu]

I am a newbie when it comes to TTC #1 but I can see how it can become nerve-racking. Now there is nothing you can do about it other than mentioning to your partner that he is being "slightly" insensitive (even though his comment about the wine shows that he cares, but still, he got it wrong). And early HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

 

[291]

I can relate. I wanted 3yrs between, by the time we fall pregnant, at the earliest will be 5yrs, if we need icsi and get to our booked month it'll then be just over 6yrs between.
OMG I never wanted this big of a gap

 

[Sunny.X]

Big cuddles sweetie, it's difficult but just hang on it there. Your miracle will soon come

 

[katiecakes]

I was always that girl who said "i won't get all crazy when TTC! We will just let it happen!" and I clearly didn't understand that there was a fertile period of the month! We have to count and calculate to make sure, and that does become all consuming. And all we are doing is waiting. Waiting for AF to come, waiting for AF to be over, waiting to ovulate, waiting to test. Wait, wait, wait. And when you are endlessly waiting for something that seems impossible- its frustrating an all-consuming. But it will happen. This is what has given me hope- I have reached far, far back in the archives of these message boards (2009, 2010, etc.) to read all of the posts that ladies wrote about waiting, "3 dpo!!! am i?" etc. and now, all of their signatures demonstrate that it happened for them not only once but for some, they have multiple children now! I am trying to stay as calm as possible- I am trying to do some deep breathing and listening to meditative music. I write down 3 things I will do during the day so I stay focused on other things as well as productive to my other life goals so TTC cant consume me. Don't get me wrong, all of this is taking a tremendous amount of effort. My mind keeps going there and I have to strain to redirect it. I am also trying to focus on the positives. For example, as much as we want a child, everything will change! So instead of focusing on how these past 5 months have been a disappointment, I am trying to see them as a blessing of time I can spend with my husband, uninterrupted. I am also trying to look at this process as a time I can get my body into tip-top condition. I have given up alcohol and caffeine, as well as fast food. I take digestive emzymes/probiotics, as well as prenatal vitamins. I am trying to focus on meditation, being grateful, and improving my emotional health. Trying to put the focus on some of these other things and on being grateful for the wait has helped me through it, but I know it is hard. We are all in this together.

 

[Mimi85]

hey sweetie, I feel for you

Although I have only been trying for 2 months, I did not think that ttc would consume my life and my thoughts.

I wish I could put it out of my mind for a while but can't. It is super stressful and does not help that OH has low libido and we do not bd very much. Im not seeing much hope of getting a bfp anytime soon

happy brithday though and I hope you get to enjoy it and put ttc out of your mind for a while xoxox

 

[katiecakes]

hope youre feeling better!