TTC with #2, looking for a buddy! LO is 14.5 months.

[babytobe]

Hey Ladies,

Just looking for someone who's TTC with baby #2! Our not so little LO is now 14.5 months, and we're just starting TTC this month. Hoping to have a 2-2.5 year gap between the two kids. I'm just finishing up my period and am expected to ovulate around August 18th. We conceived the 2nd month of trying with our first, but I'm trying not to count on it happening so soon with #2 (it's hard not to get your hopes up though!).

I can't believe we're trying again....time has just gone by so fast! I'm a bit nervous of being pregnant again. I was useless my first trimester last time!

 

[Hopeful H]

Hello!

Can I join you? My little one was 2 in May and we've decided to try for a little brother or sister for him.

We started TTC last month and after convincing myself I was pregnant and getting a BFN on a FRER yesterday, AF showed up.

So, today is CD2. I always thought I knew how long my cycles were but I found out yesterday that you count the first day of AF as CD1, and the day before AF shows up again as your last cycle day. That means that my cycle is usually 29/30 days.

I know sure how we're going to manage it as my son currently refuses to sleep anywhere but our bed, and he won't sleep alone, so it'll be a challenge!

I'm looking forward to having the support from here again (if you'll have me!!)

Hx

 

[babytobe]

Hello!

Can I join you? My little one was 2 in May and we've decided to try for a little brother or sister for him.

We started TTC last month and after convincing myself I was pregnant and getting a BFN on a FRER yesterday, AF showed up.

So, today is CD2. I always thought I knew how long my cycles were but I found out yesterday that you count the first day of AF as CD1, and the day before AF shows up again as your last cycle day. That means that my cycle is usually 29/30 days.

I know sure how we're going to manage it as my son currently refuses to sleep anywhere but our bed, and he won't sleep alone, so it'll be a challenge!

I'm looking forward to having the support from here again (if you'll have me!!)

Hx

Yes of course I'd love for us to support each other! My little one was 2 in May as well, so we have similar situations in that regard 😊.

That sucks about your last month....being convinced you were pregnant and then getting AF. That happened to me the first month we ttc with #1. It's so hard when you feel so sure you're pregnant. I told myself I wouldn't do that this time around, but I'm convinced already that I'm pregnant now! (Sigh) Just can't help myself from symptom spotting I guess!

I think I ovulated earlier than my fertility calander predicted, so I think I'm 5dpo now. My cycles are shorter, usually around 25 days or so. I'm trying to hold out on testing until day 14dpo, but I doubt I'll make it that long! I'll probably go get some dollar store tests.

Main symptoms today were heavy, cramping uterus in morning especially, dull low back ache, achy calves, and weird bubble feeling I lower abdomen. These symptoms feel so real and I'm sure my body is trying to implant, but I know my mind is also super good at convincing myself of things lol.

 

[Hopeful H]

I’ve got everything crossed for you this month! I thought about stocking up on the internet cheapies but I’ve heard stories of false positives and nasty evaps. I used to go and buy loads from the £1 shop (which I guess is the same as a dollar store!) and they were always fine for me.

When I fell pregnant with my little boy, I had no symptoms at all other than brown discharge in place of AF. I only did a test to discount being pregnant as I wanted to start taking clomid. The exact same thing happened this month, even my husband thought I must be pregnant. I don't know whether we managed to catch an egg and it didn't implant properly...I'm trying not to think about it!

I’m going to buy a Clearblue fertility monitor (and tell my husband that a friend let me borrow it!). I bought one last time we were ttc as I was sick of being disappointed every month and I got pregnant on my 2nd cycle of using it. We also used preseed and softcups so I’m going to get some of those again too. I’ve been told that I should temp but I know that I’d get obsessed about it and start to freak out if started to drop!

I promised both myself and my husband that I wouldn’t get as obsessed with ttc this time (it was awful last time and we argued a lot) but I can feel it happening. I can’t see how anyone could be calm about it!

 

[babytobe]

Yeah the dollar store tests seemed to work fine for me my last pregnancy, but I didn't get a positive unto 14dpo. I'm not sure if I'll give in and buy a more expensive test. I'll try to hold out!

Well I really hope this month will be both our months of conceiving! It is best I think to try not to dwell on the previous month when it didn't happen. It just doesn't really help. It sounds like you're well prepared for this month of ttc, so that great!

You were mentioning before that you're not sure how things are going to go with your son still sleeping in your bed. Hopefully over the next nine months he can transition to his own bed maybe? That's hard. Could you put a mattress down in his room and sleep there while he adjusts? I'm not sure what would work best for your son. I know most kids grow out of bed sharing eventually, so I guess it's up to you guys if you're okay with it or not! I assume you are okay with it but are nervous about what will happen when a new baby comes? I'm probably not a ton of help in this area. We moved our son to his own room around 6 months. It was hard at first, but now we all sleep beautifully in our own beds. Each kid is different I know though.

My area of uncertainty is that I'm unsure of when I should stop breastfeeding my son. Before I assumed I'd just stop before I got pregnant again, but I feel like I have no reason to stop. He feeds 3 times in 24 hours, and it makes him happy and I like the bonding! And I know it's super healthy for him. But yeah, I'm curious to see if it'll continue during pregnancy. Sometimes apparently they don't like the taste of milk when mom is pregnant, or mom starts feeling sick and doesn't feel good breastfeeding any longer. I definitely want to wean him before the next baby is born though.... that's forsure! I guess I'll just take it one day at a time for now.

Felt quite pregnant today again. Deep achy, crampy uterus and low back today. Time going soooooo slow!

 

[Hopeful H]

I always tell myself that if I can’t see a line just from looking once, then it’s not there. But I’m actually really bad for pulling tests apart and studying them for hours.

Alfie was always a really good sleeper. We put him into his own bedroom at 5 months (we moved house and didn’t see the point of settling him into our room to then move him again) and he slept through from then on. Apart from the odd rubbish week with teething, colds etc. he’s always been fine. Over the last few weeks he’s been going to bed totally fine in his own room but waking up in the middle of the night crying and only calming down once we put him in bed with us. I’m not saying it was the right thing to do, but both myself and my husband work full time so we all just needed sleep. He’s since developed an addiction to our iPhones and screams until you let him watch children’s videos on YouTube until he falls asleep. For the past few days, Alfie will get into his bed for stories but gets hysterical when we try to leave unless we give him an iPhone. Last night, he had a story and we left him with an iPhone until he went to sleep. It sounds awful when I write it down but I don’t remember the last time myself or my husband ate any dinner so that’s what we did. He fell asleep quickly so I went in and took the phone away. He slept fine for about an hour but when he woke up and realised we weren’t there, he just got hysterical again. I told my husband to lay down with him until he went to sleep but he just sat there talking to him which I think is the worst thing to do. I went in and tried to lay down next to him but he was so wound up by then that he had to get into bed with me.

We’ve only got a double so we take it in turns to share with him. He’s a real wriggler so neither him nor us get a lot of sleep. I’ve been wondering whether to get him a double bed so he has more room but I think he just hates being on his own. He used to go to bed for his daytime naps etc, now he refuses to do that.

To be honest, I’m at the end of my tether with it but I suffered from really bad PND was he born and didn’t want him. Now I’m ok, I can’t bear the idea of doing something to upset him.

A friend of mine was still breastfeeding when she got pregnant with #2. Apparently there is a point where the milk changes back to the type that a new baby needs and that’s when she was going to stop.

Are you 6DPO today? Some people get faint lines now…although I shouldn’t be encouraging you!

 

[txbiscuit]

Would you ladies mind a third friend? My LO will be 2 in November and we just started TTC #2 this month. I too got quite obsessed with it last time and am trying to be more relaxed this time around. Knowing myself, that will be a challenge. I'm almost halfway through my cycle - just waiting to ovulate. My husband has been sick this month, so I'm not sure how good our chances are.

I'm also still breastfeeding about twice a day and am unsure if I'm ready to stop. We also often end up bed sharing by the end of the night, so I'm trying to figure out what to do about that. I agree - it's hard to be tough on them when everyone's tired and needs to get to work/school the next day.

 

[babytobe]

Yes of course you can join us, Txbiscuit! I hope your hubby is feeling better soon. We only ended up dtd on cycle day 5 and 9 because I had a cold. It only takes once though, right? 😉

HopefulH, that sounds so difficult with your son! It's so hard being a parent sometimes. I didn't have pnd, but I can understand just wanting your child to feel safe and happy. I hope it gets easier for you guys over time. Our little guy doesn't seem to get scared yet at night, but I used to have horrible nightmares when I was young, so I already I know I'm going to always do whatever I need to do to make my kids feel safe. Kids are juat unpredictable sometimes and you just gotta do what you feel is best!

Yeah we'll figure the breastfeeding thing out. I'm not stressed about it, just kind of curious what's going to happen.

Feeling super pregnant again today! And today was the first day I felt SUPER fatigued. HopefulH today was 7dpo! I was super tempted to go buy some tests, bit I'm really trying to hold off. I hate the dissapointment of negatives! I looked at stats last time I was pregnant, and they said the average woman gets her bfp on day 13.5 (almost 14 days). Since I didn't get my bfp until day 14 last time, that's the length of time I'm trying to wait until I test. Thankfully I'm busy so I don't have much time to go by the store right now anyway!

 

[Hopeful H]

Hi txbiscuit! It’s great to have you with us! The pressure I feel when I’m ttc is awful so I know how you feel. The month I got pregnant with my 1st, we argued so much and never wanted to dtd. Once, I made him go into the bathroom, ‘relive’ himself into a softcup and I used that (lovely!). That was on my birthday and I’m sure that’s when I ovulated as well.

Babytobe, I know what you mean about waiting rather than taking tests too soon. I’m not sure that I’ll have the willpower for that so you are amazing!

Does anyone else feel like they are wishing their life away waiting for certain times of the month? A month seems such a long time to wait after AF arrives. Nothing about this is fun!

 

[txbiscuit]

Hopeful, you are right. I do feel like I'm wishing my life away at times. It makes me feel guilty, because I don't want to speed up my daughter's early years (except perhaps toilet training) but it is hard to wait to ovulate, and then to wait to test. (And then first tri, once you're lucky enough to get there, is nothing but more waiting!) I definitely won't have enough willpower to wait to test until AF is due. babytobe, I am very impressed with your determination!

 

[babytobe]

About 5 months ago I thought I was pregnant (which wouldn't have been planned), and I took soooo many pregnancy tests! And then i wasn't even pregnant lol. So even though I kind of feel impatient waiting to test, I feel more relaxed about it not taking a test every morning that's likely to be negative until around day 14. At the same time I understand the need to POAS and I do not hold myself to any firm rule of when to test lol.

So this morning I woke up and could not find the milk in the fridge. Turns out I put it in the cupboard yesterday lol. I haven't done something that brainless since my last pregnancy, when I put an empty pot in the fridge! Must be pregnancy brain, right? 😉

Still feeling pregnant today. Lots of low back ache and fatigue setting in. And weird feelings in my tummy that are different from digestion. I was super grumpy today, which made me feel more like I was pmsing that pregnant! It's hard I guess because pms and pregnancy symptoms can be so similar. All I can say that if this has all just been pms, then my period is going to be horrible! 😩

 

[babytobe]

Feeling oh so pregnant OMG! All day I've been feeling a weird pressure inside....like something is weighing down on my lady parts from my uterus! I haven't had that since my son was kicking down there when I was pregnant last time. Obviously there's nothing able to kick down yet, but maybe my uterus is expanding downwards or something? It feels crazy. And I also had horrible cramps today at work. I haven't had any AF cramps since.....well not for a long time. I got cramping with my last pregnancy too.

Hopefully I'm not setting myself up for dissapointment this month. I should keep reminding myself that I still could totally be not pregnant. But of course I just feel so pregnant and I want to be....and it's hard to think otherwise. Ohhhh well. 5 more sleeps and then I test!

 

[Hopeful H]

Do you have to wait that long?! I'm so hoping that this is your month!!

 

[txbiscuit]

Good luck babytobe! How long until you test?

Hopeful, I like your ticker.

 

[babytobe]

Txbiscuit, I'm trying to wait until Thursday to test!

 

[Hopeful H]

Thank you! The amount of time I spend at work messing about with things like that is mental!

How are you feeling babytobe?

I'm ordering my fertility monitor tomorrow - hurry up!!!

 

[babytobe]

That is a cool ticker, Hopeful! Txbiscuit, where are you in your cycle right now?

I'm feeling alright. I try not to think about being pregnant, so that I'm hopefully not believing myself into having symptoms (does that make sense?). But every few hours day or night the low back ache is quite prominent, or I'll get some weird cramping, and so it does make me think im pregnant. I know it's early though and things can still go one way or the other, so I'm trying not to get too excited. So I'm feeling quite neutral about it all, which is far different than ttc with my first!

I've just been feeling a bit down in general lately. I feel like we have a good life and I shouldn't be complaining, but it's been challenging trying to balance being a wife, mom, friend and working part time. It's hard to keep everyone happy. And I think I just feel a bit discouraged because I know it's just going to get busier with another baby! Not that we are even suffering compared to a lot of people. But life is just different than what I imagined it would be growing up. My mom was able to stay at home with us growing up, and we had a house and a big backyard. We are still renting (and probably will be for at least another 2-4 years), and I have to work. I like my job, so that's good, but it's just hard. I don't know what your guys' situation is, if you can relate? We do have tons to be thankful for. Lots of great family and friends around, our health, our toddler.

 

[txbiscuit]

Txbiscuit, I'm trying to wait until Thursday to test!

You said when you were testing in your previous post... I wish I could blame baby brain for my poor reading comprehension, but I think it was just run-of-the-mill sleep deprivation. Or just eagerness for you to test (I'm a POAS addict.) I'm on CD14 (of probably 28 days). I think I ovulated last night, but if not, it will probably be today or tomorrow.

I can definitely relate to how you're feeling, babytobe. My mom stayed home with us until I went to 1st grade (I was the younger of two kids). That is just not an option for us, unfortunately. I was able to work part-time until Ellie was about 18 months old, and then I returned to work full-time. Despite having two incomes, we'll have to be really careful with finances to be able to afford two. I don't know what we'd do if I somehow ended up pregnant with twins. (It's unlikely, but possible - my maternal grandmother was a fraternal twin.) It's all very stressful, and I feel pulled in a million different directions.

Hopeful - you'll have to tell me how you like the fertility monitor. I may steal your ticker, but it looks like the website is blocked at work.

 

[Hopeful H]

I totally agree with you both. Originally I went back to work full time as I had really bad PND and needed to not be at home. Now, I'd like to spend more time with my little one but we need the two wages. We're also still renting with no realistic chance of ever being able to buy so I feel like I can't provide any stability for my family. I wish we'd bought a house instead of having a wedding. If I'm honest, my main reason for having another baby is so that my little boy has someone to grow up with, but another year off work, possible PND and the thought of paying for 2 lots of childcare scares me to death!! I've got everything I ever wanted - a great husband, a healthy child, a decent job, a decent (rented!) house and I know I'm lucky, but it's not always easy to feel that way!

 

[babytobe]

Txbiscuit, you don't need to apologize! It's hard to keep up with everything everyone says when they post! No worries!

Thanks for understanding ladies. It seems like it is the norm now a days for moms to have to work. It's comforting to know I'm not the only one.

Txbiscuit, I think about twins too and how it would throw everything in chaos! We have them in my side of the family too, so I'm just hoping we avoid those genetic possibilities!

HopefulH, I feel like I can relate to so much of what you said about being thankful, but also worried about stability and being able to cope okay with another baby. I guess it's stuff that is largely out of our control. I mean the best we can do is work hard, spend/save wisely, and do our best to take care of ourselves and our family. It is definitely a challenge though, and I find it hard not to compare myself to other moms who seem to have it all together! I know we all have our things though and I'm going to try to be positive and thankful. It's definitely comforting to know there are other moms out there with similar struggles.

Thanks again ladies for understanding! 💜