TWW starts today! Who's with me?!

[BabyHopes.]

Not good today tbh.

Hate feeling so useless and incapable. Not 1 sign that I can fall pregnant. Just signs that I can't. I'm fed up, sad, exhausted, wish I knew how to stop trying, because I don't want to feel like this any more. Would love to go to a hypnotist who could change my mind and make me not want a family.

*hugs*
I know it's hard to let go, but in all honesty, like Torres, this was the first month we DIDN'T "try" and it happened. Maybe you could just try and give yourself permission to relax and reset, allow some time for you to heal and strengthen.

All the best to you, stay strong!

 

[Torres]

Onebump - it's not all pointless, you'll see. Like babyhope said, maybe all it will take it a little relaxation, or maybe it will take more. But think how far fertility treatment has come. But don't get stuck in the thought that "it's impossible" (I know it's hard love). I just read this in wikipedia -
"It has been claimed that pregnancy rates are increased in a cycle when an HSG has been performed.[citation needed] Using catheters, an interventional radiologist can open tubes that are proximally occluded".
Maybe that's all you need, it's obviously worked for other women! Or it could be something else small like hubby has a lower sperm count, so you guys DTD every other day won't work.
It could even be, that you just haven't gotten lucky yet.
There are hundreds are possibilities Onebump. I understand that since you are the one going through it, it is hard to be objective, but think if you were talking to a woman in your position. She tells you that she has been TTC since December, but has not yet fallen pregnant. Would you assume that she just can't get pregnant? Probably not. Can you see how it's easier to be objective/positive if it's someone else?

 

[Leinzlove]

Oh, how I love this thread and you ladies in here. Your support is amazing!

Babyhopes: I'm so happy for you! Those are very nice lines. I also had heartburn in my 2ww. And I kept smelling things that didn't exist at 8dpo. Congratulations!

Snow: I'm sorry about your miserable cyst. I hope it isn't causing you pain. And it really stinks that you got it from clomid. Do you know how long it usually takes to go away? I hope not long. I'm opposed to birth control pills... Don't like hormones.

Bump: My heart is broken for you hun. I hate how life can be so cruel. However, I'll be here when you get your BFP! And its sounding sooner everyday.

 

[BabyHopes.]

I guess it's officially official? This is farther than I got on the last one. Although I know I'm not out of the woods yet. It's weird - I still feel kinda detached, I'm not super excited yet. Cautious I guess.

Hope you ladies are having a good day.

 

[onebumpplease]

Whoop babyhopes, what a lovely image Don't forget to keep us informed

Onebump - it's not all pointless, you'll see. Like babyhope said, maybe all it will take it a little relaxation, or maybe it will take more. But think how far fertility treatment has come. But don't get stuck in the thought that "it's impossible" (I know it's hard love). I just read this in wikipedia -
"It has been claimed that pregnancy rates are increased in a cycle when an HSG has been performed.[citation needed] Using catheters, an interventional radiologist can open tubes that are proximally occluded".
Maybe that's all you need, it's obviously worked for other women! Or it could be something else small like hubby has a lower sperm count, so you guys DTD every other day won't work.
It could even be, that you just haven't gotten lucky yet.
There are hundreds are possibilities Onebump. I understand that since you are the one going through it, it is hard to be objective, but think if you were talking to a woman in your position. She tells you that she has been TTC since December, but has not yet fallen pregnant. Would you assume that she just can't get pregnant? Probably not. Can you see how it's easier to be objective/positive if it's someone else?

Torres you are 100% correct. I wouldn't think for a second it meant 'she' couldn't get pregnant. It's not really the length of time that makes me think it's impossible. No I am even more irrational than that!!! I believe my inability to envision myself as a mother is my bodies way of telling me I can't be a mother. There must be a part of me that believes it though, or I wouldn't be here, I also bought a package of 'bedtime books' today, well I ordered them from a book company at work, it comes next week.....

 

[Torres]

Beautiful picture Babyhopes! Have you and hubby told anyone yet? I still haven't told my friends! And I totally understand the detached feeling. I still feel it, although not as much as I did the first few weeks. I think it will be better once I have my 12 week scan.
Onebump - Whenever you get a negative thought in your head immediately think the opposite! Train that brain! I think it's wonderful that you bought those books!
Snow - How are you doing love? AF show her nasty face?
Leinz - How are you feeling? Is your daughter excited to be a big sister? Any dentist appts coming up at all?

 

[BabyHopes.]

Beautiful picture Babyhopes! Have you and hubby told anyone yet? I still haven't told my friends! And I totally understand the detached feeling. I still feel it, although not as much as I did the first few weeks. I think it will be better once I have my 12 week scan.
Onebump - Whenever you get a negative thought in your head immediately think the opposite! Train that brain! I think it's wonderful that you bought those books!
Snow - How are you doing love? AF show her nasty face?
Leinz - How are you feeling? Is your daughter excited to be a big sister? Any dentist appts coming up at all?

I've only told my mom and bestie. I rationalize it by thinking that if something does go wrong, they're the ones I would turn to for support, so they may as well know! That and I'm just sh*t at keeping secrets

 

[Leinzlove]

Onebump: I don't think not being able to picture yourself as a mother means anything. I couldn't picture myself as one. I always knew I wanted to be one, but I couldn't picture it. I can't picture having two now. I'm sure you will be pregnant and you'll be a mother. I have no doubt and an amazing one at that. How is the school year starting off?

Torres: DD really doesn't understand she's going to be a big sister. We tell her and say baby and show her babies all of the time. She finds them facinating. But, its going to be a big transition for her. As for the dentist my Appt. is Sept. 6. If they won't do the extractions... I'm going to ask for a deep cleaning and wait until after baby. I'm done with consults and I definitley don't want to pay for anymore.

Babyhopes: I definitley don't blame you for feeling optimistic. I felt the same. The first trimester pregnant after loss is so hard. I was fearing the worst, a total wreck all of the time. I didn't tell anyone until my first scan at 9 weeks. (Except for DH.) Even then I wasn't at peace until I heard the HB at my Dr.'s at 13 weeks.

April is a wonderful time of year for a baby. DD was due April 30, and arrived on April 25. It sure did make the summer go so much quicker, though.

 

[snowflakes120]

Leinz - Glad to hear that you have an appt coming up soon! Great news! Really hope they can help!

Babyhopes - Like you, I only plan on telling my mom and BFF too. I am realllly good at keeping secrets sometimes too good so I plan on not telling anyone til I am past the 1st trimester.

Torres - Are you starting to show at all yet?

Onebump - So happy that you have appts for the HSG and hubby has a SA. That is great! You have a plan! I too haven't been able to "see" myself being PG or having a baby. I have been doing some "visualization techniques" to help. I think of it as "believe you can conceive" When I am resting after Acupuncture, at the end of yoga when you relax with eye bags or before I go to sleep. I close my eyes and "visualize" myself being PG and seeing the baby, doing things with a baby etc. It's kinda like daydreaming with your eyes closed and your in a relaxed state of mind. It is supposed to help with TTC. You can google it and get lots of info on it.

AFM, AF arrived Thurs. afternoon. I went to the RE Friday AM during their open hours. I had my estrogen bloods and ultrasound. Ultrasound still showed the cyst but it decreased in size. I waited for the estrogen levels yesterday - they called in the afternoon and said they were great! So that means that we will be doing the IUI with Meds this cycle!! I went and picked up all the drugs - Femara, Ovidrel & Progesterone after work. I am super excited to get started and really hope that this thing works 1st try - It's costing us an arm and a leg!! (Let's hope it's 2 little arms and 2 little chunky legs!)

 

[BabyHopes.]

Leinz - Glad to hear that you have an appt coming up soon! Great news! Really hope they can help!

Babyhopes - Like you, I only plan on telling my mom and BFF too. I am realllly good at keeping secrets sometimes too good so I plan on not telling anyone til I am past the 1st trimester.

Torres - Are you starting to show at all yet?

Onebump - So happy that you have appts for the HSG and hubby has a SA. That is great! You have a plan! I too haven't been able to "see" myself being PG or having a baby. I have been doing some "visualization techniques" to help. I think of it as "believe you can conceive" When I am resting after Acupuncture, at the end of yoga when you relax with eye bags or before I go to sleep. I close my eyes and "visualize" myself being PG and seeing the baby, doing things with a baby etc. It's kinda like daydreaming with your eyes closed and your in a relaxed state of mind. It is supposed to help with TTC. You can google it and get lots of info on it.

AFM, AF arrived Thurs. afternoon. I went to the RE Friday AM during their open hours. I had my estrogen bloods and ultrasound. Ultrasound still showed the cyst but it decreased in size. I waited for the estrogen levels yesterday - they called in the afternoon and said they were great! So that means that we will be doing the IUI with Meds this cycle!! I went and picked up all the drugs - Femara, Ovidrel & Progesterone after work. I am super excited to get started and really hope that this thing works 1st try - It's costing us an arm and a leg!! (Let's hope it's 2 little arms and 2 little chunky legs!)

Oh Snow, that's GREAT news! I really really hope the IUI works magic for you. Prayers going your way!

 

[onebumpplease]

On my mobile, so not best for typing...
Thx for the support ladies. Leinz will keep abreast of denyist situation. Torres cant wait to hear about your scan. Babyhopes, wise choice I think, I wld share with a choice few too, wld help me share worries etc... snow I am delighted at your results, hope this is the last money u need to spend on ttc, hoping u'll b spending it all on impending baby xx

 

[Torres]

Snow - Fantastic news. Make sure you keep us 100% informed with what's going on.

 

[Leinzlove]

Snow: Very exciting! It's time to get pregnant!! You to ONEBUMP!

All of us BUMPS at Christmas!

 

[Torres]

Snow - What is the procedure for IUI? Im assuming you take the meds until you O, then they implant hubby's sperm? Sorry for being so ignorant, I've just never known someone who's had IUI. Are you getting excited?

Onebump - How are you doing lady? How are you feeling about your appt next week? How long does that procedure take? Is hubby going with you? I don't think your supposed to drive after, right?

Leinz - 20 weeks eh? Half way there! How was your scan?

Babyhopes - Hope all went great at your appt today. Can't wait to hear all about it!

AFM - Feeling a bit better. Still a bit rough around the edges in the morning and at night, but I'm actually pretty much functional during the day now. I've been getting headaches the past week or so though, nothing crazy painful, just dull and pounding. I was freaking out a bit at first, as headaches were one of my main signs of pre-eclampsia last time, but my BP isn't high. I go see my OB next week, which I can't wait for.

 

[snowflakes120]

Torres - Here's a quick overview - I hope it makes sense. I take Femara (like Clomid) only on CD3-CD7. I have an Ultrasound on Friday which is CD9 to check my lining and see how many and what size my follicles are. I also have another estrogen blood test. I will then trigger (give myself an injection). This shot will make my body ovulate the egg(s) 24-36 hours after. We are instructed to BD that night. Skip a day. Then hubby goes in to give his goods. They "wash" his "sample". Which means the strongest swimmers swim to the top. They only want to take the best ones. I go in 2 hours after him - they use some sort of catheter type thing to insert them directly into my uterus. Poof - hopefully I am knocked up.
I am getting very excited. I can't wait. My spirits are way up. I am feeling really positive. I really enjoyed Acupuncture last night. I feel like a kid during Christmas time about this cycle. I honestly can't wait. I am very positive for some reason this cycle and just really hope that we get lucky with IUI #1.
Happy that you are feeling better and more functional! Did your daughter start school yet. The kids here went back yesterday. Is she excited about her new sibling?

Onebump - I see you already started your BDing! You go girl!

 

[onebumpplease]

Kind of started, but I have my HSG tomorrow so don't like the idea of someone looking up there if there is sperm up there. LOL, but will get to it as soon as I'm capable after, don't expect it to be tomorrow night though!!

No not meant to drive, considering walking to work, it isn't too far but is just a five minute walk from the hospital. So will make tomorrow easier.... we'll see, depends how organised I am in the morning.

Snow I am just super excited about your cycle. I am sure it won't be long now You go girl.

I was crying tonight about it all again. Blech!! Have a splitting sore head now.

 

[snowflakes120]

Good luck tomorrow at the HSG One bump. It's really not too too bad. A little awkward bc some radiologist staring all up your hoo-ha. And a bit uncomfortable. Cramping is mostly when they are inserting the catheter. Just make sure to take those 4 Ibuprofen 1 hour prior to the procedure. And don't forget your own pad - they will try to give you those huge pillow pads that they gave you at the nurse's office in middle school!!

Chin up girl. I'm sending you hugs and some of my PMA. xoxo

 

[Torres]

Onebump - oh it's tomorrow! For some reason I thought it was on the 5th! I will most def be sending positive vibes your way! Make sure you let us know how it goes.

Snow- this is a very exciting time! What happens after they insert the sperm? Do you have to go back, or do you just wait and take a hpt?

My daughter doesn't start school full time until the 11th. She's going into JK so they have what they call a "rolling start.". We go tonight for her school bus orientation and test ride, on the 6th we go in the morning to meet her teacher and see her classroom, on the 10th she goes for the afternoon with a small group of classmates, then the 11th is the big day! She's so excited. During July her school had 9 mornings where JK students could go and "practice" for big kid school. I think what she's most excited for is to not have nap time. She hasn't napped at home since she was 2, and she hates that there is a 2 hour nap at daycare. The teachers don't even try and make her sleep anymore though, they just let her play quietly or hang out with them. I don't know how I'm going to take her being in school all day everyday. I'm going to miss her so much. She is my little buddy, we do everything together, we always have. Hubby and I have always thought it was best to do things as a family. Obviously we do have occasional adult nights out, but we prefer for her to be with us. I do know that her being in school all day everyday will probably seem like a blessing once the baby comes though. It's just the first 3 months that are hard.
Whoa, don't know where all that banter car from!
Snow - to answer your question, yes she is ecstatic about being a big sister. She always calls the baby "my baby.". She's always talking about "when my baby comes I'll....". It's adorable. Hopefully she is still this enthusiastic when the baby actually comes!

 

[Torres]

https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/551776_10152094314120122_1270625549_n.jpg

 

[Torres]

That is a pic of my daughter (tall blonde on right) and her friend, about to go on their first practice bus ride. She was so adorable and excited. After she got off the bus tho she was a little upset, and finally after half hour of asking her what was wrong she told me.
"Mama, I just was a little scared and sad because I didn't know where the bus was taking me." It just about broke my heart.
Silly me, I should have told her that it was just a quick ride and she would be right back. Damage control was done, and she is now excited to ride the bus again!