Ugh.... I wanna but I'm too scared

[MummyStobe]

hi hun
Don't feel greedy about wanting to add to your family. If you want to to try again and you're feeling strong enough then you go for it girl. I think you'll be terrified during any future pregnancy whether you catch next month or next year, the fear of something going wrong will always be with you but don't let it put you off. Do whatever is right for you and your family.
I'm still waiting for my first earth baby so I know I'm going to have to dig really deep and find the strength to get through another pregnancy to have the family that I am so desperate for. I want a family so bad that I told my DH that I'd go through it 50 times if I was guaranteed to get a baby in the end but as we all know too well there are no guarantees in life. xx

Daop I wish you all the best for this pregnancy, keeping my fingers crossed that you'll have a h&h 9 months x

Kiki that is a lovely way to think of your daughter. I'm sure she is smiling down on you from her field of flowers x

 

[KamIAm]

Wow, thank you ... You are truly a strong woman ... please share some of that strength and bravery with me OK

Max is a lucky lil dude to have you as his mom ...

I would absolutely LOVE to try again NOW... Just terrified this will happen again....

After reading everyone's love and support ... I am leaning towards trying... I am NOT gonna tell ANYONE, except you girls Sooo, I guess we'll see... I was trying to figure out my lovely monthly calendar, something I have never done... LOL... I should be ovulating this week! It says Friday is MY day SOOO we'll see.... Lots of thoughts, feelings and doubts floating around

You girls are THE best... I honestly don't even wanna think about where or how I'd be without you all!!!

 

[KamIAm]

Hmmm?? Just might have to add one of those ticker thingys to help me keep track of my monthly junk, just in case ...

 

[KamIAm]

Hmmm?? Just might have to add one of those ticker thingys to help me keep track of my monthly junk, just in case ...

Holy Crap ... Yea... I guess I figured it out right ... I guess my body is ready this week like I thought

 

[MummyStobe]

Thank you. The support that you give to everyone else is amazing too. I feel lucky to have found such amazing supportive people on this site.
Every now and then I get this strange feeling of comfort and strength and I like to think it is Max telling me everything is going to be ok.
Being a mum and having a family is the only thing I have ever wanted. I'm not career minded at all. I'm quite happy working as a legal secretary/pa but I have no desire to study law and become a lawyer. I'm not materalistic, as long as we have enough money to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table then I'm happy. The simple things in life keep me happy. But the one thing that I do long for is a baby of my own to hold in my arms and look after. I know I'll make a fantastic mum, I just need to be given the chance to prove it. x

 

[kiki04]

Get at it chickie!!!

 

[MummyStobe]

This is a link to my inspirational song. Something Inside So Strong. My dad and his girlfriend are members of the Rock Choir and I just love this version. I have it on my ipod and listen to it regularly

https://youtu.be/FNvGFNBZKFE

 

[DueSeptember]

Hmmm?? Just might have to add one of those ticker thingys to help me keep track of my monthly junk, just in case ...

Holy Crap ... Yea... I guess I figured it out right ... I guess my body is ready this week like I thought

HAHAHA BETTER START NOW

 

[Nikki_d72]

Hey Kam, Have you ever read the thread on Gestational Complications, about IC/Threatened preterm labour/Cerclage etc? it's very long, I've not read all of it but there are lots of ladies on there who have had cerclages placed very successfully. One lady had twins with a cercalge and got though it, she's a wealth of info and really great at helping other ladies - her name is Lizziedripping, I think you should go and look her up and ask her some of your Q's to help you in your decision-making. She seems to like helping other ladies through it, I'm sure she'll be more than happy to help you. did your consultant say what they would do for you in future pregnancies at all? Mine said monitoring the cervix with transvaginal ultrasound weekly from 10 weeks and cerclage placement if any changes noted but I've not got a definite case of IC. The progesterone shots are somewhat unproven, but many seem to think they work well in combination with cerclage. Don't feel guilty about wanting more children, like you say you would be more able to slow down this time too - it sounds like you'd have to plan for bed rest, I'm sure the other kids would be a great help to you if you had to. All the best xxx

Daop, wishing you a H&H 9 months. Thanks for sharing with us, I think hearing about other pregnancies warts-and-all is a great help so thank you. I hope we can help support you through all your fearful days.

Kiki, that just brough tears to my eyes, it's lovely. One of my angel sons is called Hayden, which means "heather covered hill".

MummyStobe, I hope you get the chance soon, you are a mummy to lovely Max and he's got a great Mum. I hope you get your rainbow brother or sister for him soon though.

Thinking of all you lovely ladies, Ihope we can all get through this somehow. xxx

 

[KamIAm]

Wow... Thank you SOOO much Nikki... You have been amazing!!

 

[KamIAm]

Hello Ladies

Today is a GREAT day ...

I am babysitting a good friends lil one today... He is only 7 weeks, this isn't my first time keeping him so his mommy can work, I started keeping him when he was 5 weeks old, and I usually only keep him 1 day a week..

I must confess.... When she first asked if I'd be interested, I immediately thought "Heck no!".... but I thought I'd try it once and see how it goes... Well I love it!!! I love everything about him!! Even tho he is a lil fuss butt, I love it..

His mom, my friends keeps asking if keeping him is hurting me or making me want to TTC again... Honestly, it doesnt upset me at all keeping him for some reason, I love it...and I then told her, me keeping him is making me NOT wanna TTC again LOL.... I don't wanna tell anyone that I DO, I DO... The first time the baby was here my OH didn't like the idea, at all! He thought it wasnt gonna be a good thing, he didn't want nothing to do with him... But this morning when my friend dropped him off and left, my OH was still in bed and hollered for me to bring baby to him.... They has some bonding time, it was the cutest thing! He loves the baby! It did make me have a twinge when I first walked in and seen him craddling the baby in bed with him...but seeing the look in my OH's eyes and the smile on his face... and hearing him talking to the baby...

Yep.... I think we are full throttle on board with the baby making.....

We talk all the time bout the risks and potential heart ache ...but we are just gonna see what happens and go from there

I'll definately keep y'all posted ....

 

[babylou]

I am so pleased for you. I hope to start feeling positive enough to try again soon. I know I will.

xxx

 

[kiki04]

I am so glad you made this decision... otherwise I was going to have to smack you with all the exact same love and support you have been tossing out in Andreas thread Sometimes you need to take your own advice

 

[mhazzab]

Yep.... I think we are full throttle on board with the baby making.....

OOOHH I am so happy to hear you say this

good luck, and have fun

xxx

 

[Hellylou]

That's great news!

It's lovely how a friend's new baby can bring such positivity and hope in the wake of such heartache and sorrow. I'm so glad he has brought you to this decision together.

Good luck!

 

[Nikki_d72]

Yay! So happy you have decided! Kiki's right, you are so great and positive for everyone else, you need to apply the same to yourself!

Good luck and enjoy!! XXX

 

[KamIAm]

Thanks Nikki!

I made a ticker and it says I should be ovulating now.... but now that I have seen that and KNOW that I am right NOW.... The fear just increased by a million! UGHH... Wish this fear would subside just a bit ... I am too scared to completely commit to the decision .... I really want to ...just scared to death...

How many of you ladies are TTC right now?? If so, how do you over come this fear..or over come enough to start at it .....

Thanks SOOO much!!!

It's been a lil quiet around here today... hope you all are doing ok

 

[Nikki_d72]

I was exactly the same hon, I am TTC this month, albeit a bit half-heartedly. I'm kind of in the mind that if it's meant to be, it will happen, so only roughly looked for signs of OV and tried to BD around then, but I'm not going about it with as much gusto as I did before! I didn't have strong signs this month so doubt it will happen for us yet anyway but in some ways a wee 'practice run' will be a good thing, hehe!

The first month we had discussed it, after the follow-uo appt with the OB and agreed that we both wanted to try again (despite us both saying never again at first) and after we'd "decided" I was too crippled with the reality and the fear to do anything about it, so this was the first month we'd even DTD at all (poor DH!!).

I know exactly where you're at, give yourself time to get used to the idea, though I've just kind of 'shut my eyes and jumped' IYKWIM! As I feel I'll never do it otherwise. I don't have age on my side so can't mess about and my DD is 8, nearly 9 and desperately wants to be sister (she's never ever adjusted to being an only, it's strange) so have just jumped in before I'm ready, really. it's now or never. let's face it, I don't think any of us will ever really be ready anyway, will we?

That's my way of dealing with it, I have swung every way every day though, but now I'm actively sortof trying, I actually feel better. It's something else to focus on too, which is no bad thing. I know I'll have a heap of other emotions to deal with if we're lucky enough to conceive, but I can't think that far ahead, I've kept it in manageable chunks in my head, y'know?! One step at a tine or I'll lose the plot!

I hope you can settle a bit hon, be prepared to get more scared once the decision is made, I was but had to just move through it. xxx

 

[KamIAm]

Nikki~ reading your post, was like reading my mind .... half heartedly trying this month ... That is where we are at the moment... Not obsessing, or overly tracking everything and BD'ing at just the right times.. At first, we are just gonna see what happens, see if nature takes it course... I have noticed a huge shift in my thoughts and focus as well.... I am more optimistic...

So, guess we'll have some practice runs this month and see where we end up ....

Good luck and keep me posted

Xoxo

 

[Nikki_d72]

Good luck to you too and keep me posted also! xxx