Unexpected! Pg 5, it says BD! Now w/ Star Trek! Pg 9, Ass Tattoos & Pics of Hot Men!

[Megg33k]

So, I didn't want to post to my old thread anymore, because it's basically deceased! LOL It went to a farm where it can run in a field with other threads!!!

The conclusion to my drama:

I went to my ob/gyn today. I told her what was going on and asked to be more closely monitored on this month of Clomid (CD12 u/s, CD21 b/w... to confirm O). She didn't have much to say about the spotting/light bleeding. She basically believes that I O'd with the Clomid, but my hormones are off still and it's causing the random bleeding. I definitely got the impression that she didn't want to mess with the monitoring of my Clomid cycle, but she definitely makes up for that by the time this is over.

Honestly, I expected her to give me progesterone supplements for after O, and send me on my way. I really lucked out by getting Clomid on our first proper month of TTC since 2007, where as most people have to wait a year. Here's the shocker though... instead of telling me that she didn't want to do that monitoring, prescribing me some stuff, and sending me away... She referred me to a fertility clinic. After 1 month of properly trying, she's letting me move on to people who might actually be able to get me my ! That's the exciting part!!! My first appt is Sept 23, which isn't so bad really!

The depressing part? They will require me to take BCP for at least one month, possibly two months... So, she started me on BCP today. Granted, it will put me ahead of the game when I get there in a month... might even be able to start TTC with them straight away on Sept 23 instead of the 2nd month of BCP. However, I have a month of Clomid in my purse, refills of my Prometrium, and a local health store that sells non-prescription progesterone cream. Instead of taking Prometrium to bring a proper AF, Clomid to O, and progesterone cream to fix my random bleeding after O... I'm taking BCP... so I can have a baby. WTF?

Following my doctor's orders instead of doing something that might have gotten me a month closer to my ... So hard! I'm 28 years, 5 months, and 28 days old, and I took my first BCP of my entire life yesterday... all in an effort to get pregnant. I feel like I'm betraying everything I want and hope to achieve in the near future. I'm doing the EXACT OPPOSITE of what you're supposed to do when you want a baby. I get it... I do... It's not a lack of understanding... I'm just so sad that I'm being completely counter-productive at this exact moment. Unfortunately, I'm not getting any younger, and wasting time isn't a very good idea for me. It makes me just typing it. I hate this! I hate it so much! I don't want to... I want to take my Clomid and try again... but I know it's not for the best this time.

Even if I took the Clomid and stuff... even if everything works perfectly... I'd get, at best, a 30% chance of conception. That's a 70% chance of failure. If I failed this cycle, I'd have to start BCP for at least one, maybe two, cycles on 9/23. So, I'd be done with my BCP at the end of November probably and not TTC until close to Christmas. Skipping this cycle to take BCP, I might have to take it through the end of Oct, but at least that would be it. I might be able to start TTC again ASAP after my appt. I believe I've made the right choice, but I don't know anymore!

I'm sorry this is so long, but I'm feeling really down and up at the same time. Getting infertility specialists so early in the TTC game is definitely on my side. But, this feels like such a set-back until then! And, I refuse to move to the WTT section... it's barely a month... I can't bear to put that title on myself, because it's utterly against my will. Well, I guess I'd move to that forum if I have to or its requested that I do... but I still feel like a TTC'er, dammit!

If you read through that, thank you for listening. If anyone has ever been in a similar situation or know anyone who has, and it's worked out for the best... I'd really appreciate hearing about it right about now.

all around! I really hope you all get your s while I'm waiting!

~*BABY DUST*~

 

[Odd Socks]

*hugs*
how difficult for you. i've been having strange cycles & am in the process of having everything checked out (like you, i've been lucky in that they started testing right away, rather than telling me to go home & if in a year i'm not pregnant, then to come back & they'll take the tests).
i know people say that taking the bcp can help to regulate your cycles, i know that there are reasons for doing it, but i think i'd find it a step in the wrong direction if they want to out me back on it. being on the pill for 5 years helped me kid myself that my body was normal because i was having cycles every 28 days like clockwork on it! & even though now i've established there's something not quite right, it took me several months after coming off the pill to actually realise this! i don't want to be kept waiting any longer! even though i know they know better than i do what they're doing.
i'm also 28, & i want babies now!
how unfair that this isn't easy, when it should be the most normal, natural thing in the world.
*big hugs*
xx

 

[anawi]

Hi there,

That sounds like a very difficult situation, it must be hard. I know you don't know me and I am very new to this forum and even the idea of TTC but I just wanted to say that I can't imagine anyone expecting you to move back to WTT. You are not WTT you are TTC and all that is happening is that you are doing everything necessary and within your power to get the BFP that you deserve so very much. I imagine it must feel like a bit of a step backwards but its not - it's just a stepping stone along the way for you.

I have lurked a lot on here and I have read a lot of your posts, you are always so positive and supportive of others and I really hope you get your happy ending.

xx

 

[Lindyloo]

Hi

I really feel for you, to be at the stage where you are taking clomid only to go back to the beginning again with the BCP... I am not really understanding their reasons but I am sure there are some??... I wish you all the luck on the 23rd and I have my fx'd for a BFP for you soon

x

 

[BumpyCake]

Awww...I know a little bit about where you're coming from. I was on Depo and my periods went absent so I was prescribed bcp for 3 months to regulate my cycles. It did it's job and I've been regular for about 5 months now. I wonder where I would be if I didn't take the bcp....

Good luck sweetie and please do stick around in TTC.

 

[mommy43]

have no advice just wanted to wish u luck hun x

 

[ardum]

baby dust to you!!!! good luck!

 

[lvh05]

Just wanted to give you ! And tell you to keep your chin up.

Everything will work out. A lot of fertility doctors, from what I've heard, think birth control actually makes you more fertile.

Good luck! You're really strong for toughing out such a frusturating situation.

 

[mrphyemma]

Hey Megg,

Sorry you have to take a step backwards to go forwards but it will be worth it in the long run. I shall from now on be stalking you to see how you get on !!! Best of Luck to you sweetie, you are in good hands xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[lori]

This must be so frustrating It sounds like you're doing the right thing by following the doctor's advice. You're right, trying again this month would most likely land you back in the same situation you're in now and would delay getting help. Stay strong and positive. This is one step closer to holding a baby in your arms.

 

[Megg33k]

Thanks girls! I'm still SO sad about the decision. I can't help but feel in my heart that it wasn't the right decision... I think the post-O progesterone supplements would have been just enough. But, I'm not a doctor, and I'm not prepared to challenge her judgment when she's been doing this for so long. But, I also felt like the referral was just her way of getting me out of her hair to avoid the monitoring I wanted. Maybe it wasn't, and I'm sure that the fertility clinic will be in a better position to keep me monitored anyway. But, the fact that I need to take birth control for a month or two and then proceed to "manufacture" my monthly cycles. Manufacture? Am I so lame that I need my cycles to be chemically manufactured? I feel like I'm mechanically-separated chicken or something.

I can't understand how I go from Clomid to BCP... It's like I took 5 steps forward and 11 steps back. It's so hard to look at myself knowing that I feel like I'm wasting time in getting what I desire. If I had ever been on BCP before, it might not feel like much of a betrayal... but for the FIRST TIME in my entire life? When I'm TTC? I don't think they understand how long a month is sometimes.

I really appreciate all the kind words and support! I just don't want to be left behind. PMA about my situation is all but impossible for me right now. I should be so excited about the referral... but all I can think about is this month between when I'm unable to try. What if I did it my way and I had a by the time I got to my first appointment? How do I stop feeling like I'm throwing away a perfectly good chance? I honestly think it might work out if I did it my way... I feel like I might be able to get my if she would have just allowed me to have 1 monitored cycle with the post-O supplements. Maybe it offended her that I was self-diagnosing or something... but I have a knack for diagnosing medical conditions. I've read enough about FP, O, LP, hormones involved, etc... I know it better than most average women ever will. *sighs*

I'm going to stick through this BCP month... part of me wants to miss a pill here and there, since that seems to work for all the teenagers... or maybe take some antibiotics with it? I'm crazy enough that I considered taking the Clomid with it to see what would happen... of course I wouldn't actually do that... but the thought did cross my mind. LOL

I really hoped this would never get to the point of a fertility specialist referral. I'm thankful for it, especially when it's so out of the ordinary for me to get the referral so early... but I almost don't want it. It scares me that she seems to think I need the referral after only 1 proper month of trying. It makes me think that I'm so (excuse my French) fucked up that I couldn't possibly do it without a medical team. I just want to be normal... or mostly normal.

Thanks again... Sorry my posts tend to read like an overly emotional book! I'll try to keep this thread updated, so long as it doesn't go off to run around with the other long lost threads on that great thread farm in the sky! If it does, I'll probably just post another... You'd think I'd just start a journal, huh? Maybe that's a good idea! LOL

~*BABY DUST TO YOU ALL*~

I guess it's only fair to give away my share for the next month or two. I wish you all to get your two pink lines ASAP!

 

[hannah76]

 

[Megg33k]

Hey there, Hannah! How did you get on? You couldn't possibly have kept from testing again, right? Update?

 

[Megg33k]

Ok, don't mean to reply to myself, but I'm pretty certain I got a faint + hpt. I don't know if it came up in the time allowed because I forgot I even POAS... I just did it for fun & because I still had 2 left. Obviously, I didn't expect to need them for a while anyway. There is some color it it, but very faint. I have gotten enough evaps to know what they look like and it's not like this. I'm freakin' terrified right now! I've tried to get a good pic, but it's faint, I was using my phone (as my camera batteries are dead), and my lighting is terrible. I can see it without squinting or turning it. I could see it with the cassette still in tact, although I took it apart to try for a pic. It's not only visible in certain lights.

Ok, it can't be + though. It can't be. I'm at least 19dpo or so... maybe more... there's no way. I know I shouldn't have even looked at it since it was past the time limit... but it could have been there within the time limit. I remember tossing it aside after about 45 secs this morning. It can't be +. Ther'es no possible way. Please, tell me I'm not crazy!

 

[DragonMummy]

You could have gotten your ov dates wrong? Or implanted late? Shame you don't have a scanner - I can all mine and they come up lovely! Fx'd for you Megs - sounds hopeful. xxx

 

[Megg33k]

I have a scanner! I can scan it! I'm going to scan it!!!

 

[sh77]

Oh Meg, I have been following your thread. Please put a pic NOW!!!!!! Really hoping it is good news for you.

 

[Caterpiller]

Waiting waiting waiting for you honey - am to excited - sitting here shaking for you - you scan girl

 

[dt1234565]

Hi honey

Just wanted to wish you all the luck in the world, and i am sure you are going to be ok.

You seem to worry that you are 28 as well, please dont worry about that!! You are really very young.

I had my DD at 34 and DS at 36 am now TTC at 39, trust me you have time on your side.

You may have a month to wait but if it gets your your BFP it will be a month worth waiting for. I would still BD if I were you.

Sending you lots of hugs and babydust. FXd for you.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[DragonMummy]

*drumming fingers on desk* WANNA SEE!!!!!